... ... ...SYSTEM REBOOTING... ... ... ... PROGRAM INISTIALISING... ... ... ... WELCOME TO WINDOWS

Okay, I fixed the computer...

Disclaimers: I do not own Sonic or anything else.

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Chapter 9

An Attempted Rescue Mission… Sort of…

The next day, Knuckles was still trapped under Angel Island.

"Everyone, I need your attention, please." Tikal said, "Now, the plan is-" But before she could finish, she heard snoring. For some reason everyone else was asleep. Tikal used an air-horn.

"AAAAAHHHHH!" the others screamed as they woke up.

"Tikaaaal, what's the big idea?" Sonic asked, still groggy.

"We have to save Knuckles." Tikal said.

Tails looked at his invisible watch. "But, it's only 3:00 PM." he stated.

"I don't care. Now YOU go save Knuckles!" Tikal commanded.

"What! Why do I have to save Knuckles?" Tails asked.

"Because, you're the only organic being in the known universe who can swim!" Tikal replied.

"Can't I just take the Sea-Fox?" Tails asked.

"NO! That's not possible anymore." Sonic butted in.

"Why not!" asked the fox.

"Because-a Nintendo-a launched-a it-a to-a the-a planet-a Zebes-a, and-a then-a Samus-a blew-a it-a up-a." announced Luigi, after he jumped out of a big green pipe.

Tails started crying, as he looked at an ancient cave drawing of his old submarine.

Then Sonic threw Luigi into an oven, cranked it up to 1,000° C, and set the timer for 1,000 years. For a moment, everyone remained silent.

"I'll go." Shadow announced.

"Very well. If you're willing to drown, then go." Tikal agreed reluctantly.

"Then, I'm off to save the Wizard, The wonderful Wizard of Oz!" Shadow sang, "CHAOS CONTROL!" Then he disappeared.

Five seconds later, Shadow reappeared five inches from his previous location. "Knucklehead? Knucklehead? Where the Hell are you, you blasted echidna!" Shadow yelled, unaware of the others in front of him.

"Umm… Shadow, are you okay?" Tikal asked, justifiably concerned about his sanity.

"AHH! Stay away from me, you over-bloated egg!" Shadow yelled. Then he threw a Chaos Pie at Tikal, thinking she was Dr. Eggman.

Then, the real Eggman comes over the horizon, riding a pair of horses. "Tally-ho! Ride 'em cowboy!" he yelled, as he approached the others.

"Tikal, what are you doing on those equidaes?" (A/N: equidaes is the Latin name for horses) Shadow asked Eggman, thinking he was Tikal.

"Shadow, I'm right here." Tikal stated.

Suddenly, a plot hole opened under Shadow's feet. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" he screamed, as he fell into it.

"Shadow, NOOOO! I won't let you die, my love." Tikal yelled, as she purposely followed him into God knows where.

"Hey, Tails… Tails?" Sonic said, as he looked around for his little buddy. "Hey Cosmo, have you seen Tails?" he asked. (A/N: Get your dictionary.) "My beloved little Tails is presently positioned underneath the surface of the enormous body of seawater that environs this isolated landmass, undertaking an expedition to salvage that dunderheaded echidna." Cosmo replied, downright cryptically.

"WHAT!" Sonic yelled, so loudly that something snaps inside Eggman's head.

Dr. Eggman suddenly jumped behind a conveniently placed shower curtain and turns on the water. Sonic decided to investigate the anomaly. He lifted the curtain and saw... a unicorn taking a shower, who slapped Sonic so hard that he flew past Cosmo, and hit a palm tree. Then Sonic got hit on the head with an exploding monkey.

The unicorn closed the curtain. Then, Eggman jumped out from behind the curtain, however, something was…different about him. He was now wearing a goldfish cape, and had a smiley face on his chest. He had transformed into (drum roll) E.G.G. Man (A/N: E.G.G. Man stands for Excessively Gleeful Goldfish Man). He flew around in circles through the air, and then grabbed his horses and threw them off the island, and then jumped off after them.

"Umm…o...kay…that was weird." stated Sonic, after waking up. "Hey, Cosmo, let me see Tails." he commanded.

"Very well, Sonic." Cosmo said. She reached into a plot hole, and took out a 100 inch, hi-definition, wide-screen TV, with built-in DVD and VHS capabilities, Satellite and Cable and Dolby Pro Logic 10 surround-sound speakers.

"WWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOO000000oooooowwwwwwwwww!" Sonic awed in awe.

Cosmo turned the 'TV' on with her ultra-universal remote. (A/N: an ultra-universal remote can even be used to play the Wii and trigger volcanic eruptions.)

"I love you, you love me, we're a happy family! With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you, won't you say you love me too?" came a blood-curdling incantation.

"AHHHHHHH! NOOOOOOOOOOO! Tails is dead, and it's all my fault!" Sonic screamed in horror, as the purple dinosaur sang.

"Sonic, that is not where my Tailsy-Wailsy is located." Cosmo told Sonic, before noticing that he was trying to hang himself in guilt. "Sonic, wait! Don't do it! He would not desire you to initiate that ritual." Cosmo yelled.

Upon hearing those words, Sonic literally melted out of his noose.

"EWW! YUCK! Aaaany waaaay… The last intelligent being to make use this television, was your estranged female sibling, Sonia." Cosmo announced as Sonic solidified.

"What? Sonia? But how can she stomach that garbage…when she's the same age as me?" Sonic asked a random peanut.

Suddenly, the island began to rise into the sky. "How is this possible? How can this island levitate even as the Master Emerald is currently not present!" Cosmo asked a random noodle.

Then a voice came out of nowhere. "I… have… THE POWER!" E.G.G. Man yelled, as he, using his super strength, lifted the island skyward.

Meanwhile, in the ocean. Knuckles shot out of the water, "AIR! At last, I can breathe again!" he shouted, "Good thing I kept this Air Necklace doohickey from SA2B. Hey, wait a sec. If I have the Air Necklace, then why was I so desperate to get to the surface?"

Back on the island. "Umm, Sonic, why is Dr. Eggman acting like Super Man?" Cosmo asked.

"I dunno." Sonic replied.

"Fair citizens of Angel Island, I must now take leave of this place." E.G.G. Man said. "Please, do not mourn my departure, for I am needed elsewhere. Now I am off, off to give Metal a foot rub. WOOOOOSH!" Then he dropped the island, and flew away.

"What the heck was that all about!" Sonic asked.

"I am currently unable to respond to your inquiry with an accurate extrapolation." Cosmo replied.

"Cosmo, you should really learn how to speak normally." Sonic suggested.

In the ocean. "Excuse me, Ma'am. Would you happen to know the answer to my question?" Knux asked a seagull. The seagull just stared at him. "Oh, silly me. I forgot to ask you the question. Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?"

"Oink, oink oink. Oink oink oink! Oink oink." the seagull replied.

Knux hit himself on the head. "Umm... Sorry, I only speak English, French, Spanish, Italian, German, Japanese, Arabic, Egyptian, Hylian, and Mobian." he said.

The seagull flew away.

"Hey, what's this gigantic shadowy thing on the surface of the water?" Knux asked a fish.

The fish swam away in terror.

Knux looked upward. "What the! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" he yelled.

Then, Angel Island fell back down on top of him.

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Me: Okay, the next chapter isn't fully typed up, so it will be awhile before it's up.

Tails: Why is it that Wal-Mart's water fountains like foxes, but hate everything else?

Me: Because they obey the author.

Majinn Buu: Do you like chocolate?

Me & Tails: (being turned into chocolate) AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!