Krazy Kai

Chapter Nine: Insanity, Part Three- Why Is This Goddamn Arc Still Around?

Okay, I lied. Chapter seven was the only somewhat dramatic chapter. As long as I can make a reference to some kind of obscure hobby, drama will have to wait a bit. And yes, I have been a lazy bastard. But it's the holiday season, so don't kill me!

Jack yawned and looked at the old watch that he kept in his pocket. It hadn't moved for hours. Ever since he ended up in wherever the hell he was, time seemed to stop, as if he were taken to a dimension so strange that the laws of time were different.

Then again, it could be because a rock fell on it.

"How long are we going to sit here?" complained Karen, who was lying down despite the fact that there was no ground under her. "It's been… well, I don't know, two hours since we got pushed the stupid button!"

The entire world was still blurring. The farmer kicked the Power Button again in aggravation.

Nothing happened.

The young woman just stared as Jack dragged himself back to where he was sitting, looking defeated. She sighed and stared at the ground.

The chapter is really getting stalled, isn't it?

"Why isn't the remote thing working?" muttered Karen. "Maybe it's like a defective computer chip or something."

"The purple demons must not be skilled at creating new technology."

Before the girl could say "I don't know you", mountains materialized around them. Jack landed face-first into a six-foot deep pile of snow, continuing the trend of being injured or abused in hilarious ways.

Karen extended her hand to pull Jack up before he could sink more. After leaving a snow-angel similar to one that a murder victim would make, the snow-covered man got up on his feet.

Meanwhile, at the summit of the mountain, Popuri was running around frantically. She turned over several rocks, only to find more snow underneath.

"What kind of place is this?" she shouted in panic. "There are no flowers! No Jack! I need flowers! Must…have…something…to…compare…hairstyle…to!"

Little did Popuri know that the duo was trekking up the side of the mountain.

"My hands…" moaned Karen, holding onto a rock sticking out of the slope. "Why are we climbing up here again?"

"I'm sure that someone's trapped on top because of Kai's illusion…er… Rick's machine thingy."

"Damn that Rick." Jack had said a similar sentence at the exact same time, replacing the nerdy inventor's name with that of the supposedly possessed vineyard worker.

While they were climbing, Karen complained again. "My hands still hurt…"

Jack was glad that he had never removed his gloves, even before it became a trend to do so. However, he didn't want to smile, in fear that Karen would kill him.

"Here…" he muttered, taking his hands off the mountain so he could remove his gloves and give them to her.

However, since he had let go of the mountain, he feel several feet into the same groove he left when he hit the ground last time.

"Shit."

"Are you an idiot or something?" Karen let go too, but used her dancing skills to land gracefully on her feet. As well as Jack's back.

Several expletives later, they were climbing the mountain again. The young woman sighed and turned to the paranoid farmer.

"Even though we had to restart our journey because of it, it was pretty sweet of you to give me your gloves. Thanks."

"YES!" exclaimed Jack. He felt so triumphant that he raised his hands into the air in victory. Guess what happened next?

"Okay, now I'm getting tired of it," spat Karen. "Now that we've wasted a whole twenty minutes because of your falling, we'll never get to Goddess-knows-where you're dragging me."

"Okay, okay…" Jack groaned, his hands bloody due to the fact that all the pointy rocks were on his side of the mountain. "Do you have anything better to do?"

"Well, we could be climbing down the goddamn mountain, so we can get out of this stupid excuse for a joke once and for all."

But Jack ignored her logic. These bizarre illusions were the only sign that he wasn't just a paranoid freak. He would have to ignore all sane choices to make the best one.

Well, that's what he thought. He was also forbidden to be within ten feet of a toaster.

Jack gasped loudly as he finally reached the top of the mountain. Karen was still glaring at him, but decided not to say anything.

Thankfully, the pink-haired girl was actually on top of the mountain. That meant that the farmer wouldn't end up being kicked by Karen and plummeting into the earth.

Unfortunately, it was Popuri on the mountain.

Control…self… Don't…tackle…But...I…must…! Popuri's hyperactive nature was about to control her. Oh, whatever!

"POPURI, DON'T--"

Popuri, in the form of a pink blur, slammed into Jack, causing him to lose his balance and fall off. Her arms were wrapped around him, but she remained oblivious to their impending demises.

Dammit! Even though I didn't intend for this to happen, I guess this was kind of predictable…

Luckily, waiting below them was a certain shadowy figure. Jack had no idea if the person was just a transparent image or if it was even Demon Kai- or whatever the hell he should be called.

Oh, if only it were just an omnipotent demon. Instead, it was Gray, the embodiment of random angst.

"He's gonna kill me for this," Jack moaned, turning his eyes to Popuri, who seemed to be incredibly more content than usual.

Fortunately, it appeared that Gray's love for Popuri was greater than his naturally homicidal nature. Or perhaps it was the fact that Popuri was below Jack at the time, so he caught her first.

"Thank you so, so much Gray!" an overly excited Jack started saying, before he was harshly slammed into the jagged ground. "All is right with the world."

"Get your hands off her!" Apparently, the violence wasn't just because Gray hated Jack. Well, not entirely.

"Um, Gray…" Popuri was standing several feet away. "You knocked him six feet away. I'm okay."

The pink-haired girl ran to the farmer, who's only movement was mild twitching. The other rancher was facing the other way, because…

One: He didn't really give a damn whether or not Jack was alive or not, and

Two: There was a mysterious purple, human-shaped thing rising out of the ground.

"NO, I'M GOING CRAZY JUST LIKE THAT IDIOT!" Gray cried out. Jack was growing sick of people saying that, but said nothing, as he was too injured to do so.

"Will you stop that?" Karen commanded calmly while climbing down the mountain. "You honestly think that you just randomly snapped?"

"Maybe…" whimpered Gray, somewhat afraid of her. "What the hell could it be?"

"For the last time, it's one of Rick's glitched inventions!"

Kai just blinked at the massive arguments over which asinine theory the group would accept. "Um, I was hired to kill all of you guys, so can you stand still?"

"Jack, you bastard! If you had just helped to pay for Rick's liver surgery, he wouldn't be doing this to us!"

Jack groaned. No one would know his genius awareness of the truth.

Besides, it was Harris's fault that Rick needed a new liver. Long story; very sad.

"Shouldn't I be home, farming or something…?" the farmer thought to himself (God, how far from farming has his adventure gone?). "Why me?"

He curled into a ball, trembling as the purple demon hovered over him.

"You bastards survived these illusions for long enough!"

"Wait…" The antisocial rancher froze. "So…my dreams of being a tap dancer…never came true?"

After a fit of pure rage, the purple thingy (brilliant, no?) was lying on the ground, completely still. No one questioned how the person controlling their minds could be beaten so easily by an aspiring dancer, but decided that it was some kind of clone.

Well, Jack did, anyway. Everyone else just wanted to get the hell out of there.

Was the ending rushed? Meh, I started to hate this story arc halfway through Chapter Eight. I thought 'Hey, if I get this crappy storyline done with I'll want to update more!'

And to those who didn't like this storyline either, please accept, as a humble apology...