Krazy Kai

Chapter Thirteen: Deep, Philosophical Thoughts, Part One— It was Inevitable

Jack relaxed on his bed. His overalls were covered in dirt after the long day at the cow festival (he had been knocked over several times in the crowd), and the moon was already hovering in the sky. It always was in the sky, and it would be logical that the world of Harvest Moon would have a moon, but it was dark, okay?

He was worrying about his fate in this town. Surely Karen had at least some understanding of his behavior. She claimed that it was Rick's fault, and, judging from the fact that he went into hiding, still supported that idea. But that was wrong. All Jack needed to do was get evidence.

But conspiracy theories had been put on the side for a while now. The telescope, binoculars, and hidden tape recorders were all gathering dust. Surely they would be useless now in their dust-encased state, but Jack could only hope that he didn't have to cough up a small fortune in gold. He had no idea if there were any stores selling that equipment that would accept this obscure currency.

He had to get some way for Karen to understand him. She had to know that, while Kai might be a nice guy, that he was being controlled by an unseen force that would eventually overpower him and slaughter the entire population of the island and the neighboring continent of Asia.

"I wonder what's going on next door…" he muttered, glancing out the window. He tilted his head. Despite the darkness, he could make out Kai's image walking towards the vineyard. "Doesn't he live there? Why was he outside; he never goes to the Cow Festival, and all the other stores and places were closed…right?"

Curiosity overwhelmed him almost instantly.

Jack pushed his window opened and slipped out of the shack. He broke his fall by pushing against the earth with his hands. Maybe having the woodcutter's expand his home to have a second floor ten feet in the air wasn't as convenient as he had hoped.

Brushing the dirt off of him, Jack rose to his feet and went into the horse's stable. Buried under piles of hay rested a telescope and a pair of headphones. He took all of them and ran to the edge of his property.

Across the road was a large plateau, and on it was the vineyard. Everyone had gone to sleep long ago, but Jack was still suspicious. And if he was wrong, no one would be awake to find out.

Jack hummed with glee as he set up the equipment. He straightened the telescope and directed it towards the vineyard.

The scene was nothing out of the ordinary in the bedroom of Gotz and Sasha. The former was sound asleep, clutching a giant liquor bottle like a teddy bear. The latter was cowering in fear, reevaluating her choice to marry him.

"Damn! Nothing of interest so far." Jack sighed to himself and focused on Karen's room.

"When is he going to get here?" he could hear Karen moan through one of the microphones he'd installed a while ago. "I swear, how long can it take him to get here? He lives on our property!"

The farmer grimaced. They were still together. Out of pure jealousy, he zoomed in more. He didn't want to try to justify spying with some demon excuse. He was just pissed.

The young vineyard worker had just entered the woman's bedroom. Jack refused to twitch insanely at the sight of the bandana. He didn't care about that anymore. His so called righteous mission to save Kai from the evil possession or whatever he called it was instantly forgotten.

"That's it, you son of a bitch! I'm comin' after ya…" Jack blinked. "No!" he reminded himself, substantially quieter. "You have to remember that he's not such a bad guy. It's just a hat…"

"A hat?" snapped his newly developed second personality. "Screw that! He's got Karen, and you're stuck on this stupid farm spying on him just because he's got better luck!"

"But maybe if he's back to his old self…"

"If his old self is so nice, than she'll just like Kai even more! Say, why don't you kill him? Eh? Ehhh?"

"What the heck are you talking about?" Jack countered himself. "Now you want me to shoot him?"

"Perish the thought. Stab him! Hell, I don't care!"

For the first time in a while, Jack was actually doubting his sanity instead of having someone else do it for him. He gripped his head and growled.

"Shut up! People hate me enough as it is without me killing them!"

"Well, the mayor…"

"WILL EVERYONE JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT THE MAYOR ALREADY?"

At last, it happened. Jack's mentality had completely changed, albeit for the worst. Almost foaming at the mouth, the farmer looked into the telescope. His voice was almost like that of an animal—if one could possibly speak English.

The image of Karen and Kai making out was the straw that broke the camel's back. The now completely insane Jack jumped into the air, kicking at the hill. The bones in his foot shattered on impact, but he ignored it (or probably didn't feel it all together). Tossing his watering can into the window, he sent shards of glass scattered all over Karen's floor.

"How dare they?" he snarled, panting heavily. He tossed his rucksack against the door, and the force of his throw shattered it in two. "No one in this village understands me, and I'm tired of having to take all this crap! What the hell do they expect from me?"

Drunk with power, he stormed into Karen's room. His footsteps echoed like thunder, but Gotz was passed out and Sasha wasn't courageous enough to investigate.

As soon as Jack opened the door, Kai was waiting for him in a ready stance. He gripped Jack's shirt and tossed him out the window in a single swift motion. Thankfully, the smashing of his skull into the hard earth brought him back to his normal, kindhearted self.

Blinking, Jack pulled his face out of the dirt. He spat out a few blades of grass and got himself to his feet. There was a large bruise on his face, and he was covered in dirt. Had he had his memory, he would have prayed that no one had seen him make an ass of himself. Unfortunately, the last five minutes were permanently ejected from his memory and into the never-ending abyss of somewhere else in his body.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Kai sneered, stomping on Jack's back. The farmer closed his eyes tightly and curled into a ball. "Can't you just stop being jealous and leave us the hell alone?"

The ball that used to be Jack tightened more. Was that really all this was about? Had Jack just been so jealous that he let it overwhelm his judgment? Was he only making bizarre claims just to justify everything?

But Jack didn't want to be the paranoid guy he always was. Kai was beating him to death as he pondered all of this. With every kick, the urge for violence grew within Jack's mind, until the point of becoming insane Jack again.

"Get off!"

Jack swiped at Kai's leg with his own, tripping him. The farmer ran away, the two personalities conflicting in his head.

"I can't have multiple personalit--"

"Kill him! Kill him now!"

"Why is it that all multiple personalities are portrayed as homicidal maniacs?"

"Well, there was one before when you began to really like sewing. He was a peaceful lad. I miss him… So easy to confuse…"

"Just shut up!"

"You see, the thread must go through the needle at a certain angle to--"

"Crap! Now it's back again! GET THE HELL OUT OF MY MIND!"

Karen, startled and confused, stared at the farmer, before smashing a bottle over his head. She'd already drank all of its contents in a minute or two.

"Jack? What was wrong with you? And how could you talk in three different voices so consecutively? Are you an actor hired to make us islanders believe you're really such an idiotic farmer and taping it to make us all look like idiots? DAMN YOU, FOX NETWORK! NOT AGAIN!"

"Hey, kid! Are you okay?"

Jack woke up to see an old man's face hovering over him.

"Wh-where am I?" stammered Jack, sitting up on the dirt floor. He seemed to be in some kind of old, almost abandoned restaurant.

"You're in an old, almost abandoned restaurant," the old man informed him, defeating the purpose of adding the statement to the narration. "We found you dumped in the mountains while you were still passed out."

"Karen…" Jack moaned. "It's all that goddamn Kai's fault! Kill--"

"Wait…" the elderly man interrupted him, pausing for a moment. "Di…did you just say 'that goddamn Kai'?"

"Yes, and I use the phrase quite frequently."

"I've seen him through my telescope," he explained. "Wears a purple bandana. Seems like a nice lad, but doesn't he know?"

"Know what?"

"The secrets of the purple bandana. You've never heard of them? Are you insane?"

What is causing Jack's multiple personality disorder? Am I even using the correct medical term? Was there supposed to be more profanity in the chapter that was edited out? What are the secrets of the purple bandana? What happened to the Karen chapter you all were promised? How many days in the two month period did it really take to write this chapter? Some of them might be answered next time, mainly the ones not breaking the fourth wall!