Krazy Kai

Chapter Nineteen: Exile

After finding some regular rope to detain Jack in, the angry mob burst out of the farm and into the square. The horse festival booths had been converted into gallows, towering menacingly over Jack. Harris pushed the farmer towards the inevitable death that awaited him.

But even if Jack had more misfortune than a comic book character that had been erased from existence five times a year, he still found ways to escape. He couldn't die at the hands of the mob, because fate wanted to prolong the oddity that was his life. And now he was a god, which helped somewhat.

"Why isn't there a noose?" snapped Harris, aggravated because he was doing all the work in this execution. "We need a noose, people!"

"I--" was all Rick could manage to get out before a booming, "NO!" from Harris crashed down on him.

"But this is a variation," Rick insisted. "This is non-flammable, and tightens very well for when we…you know…hang him."

"Fine, fine," Harris agreed against his will, hoping it would get the geek out of his hair, if only for a little while. "Just put it up there and I'll get back to you in a second, okay?"

His face brightening, the redhead ran off to eagerly set up the death-machine.

This joy wasn't exclusive to Rick. Jack knew that this was going to backfire horribly on the mob. Hell, even Harris knew it, but he went along with Rick's plan anyway. Jack definitely had an optimistic attitude for a guy awaiting his execution.

Feigning terror, he clenched his eyes shut, as if he were trying to escape. But Rick would do that for him. The noose fell onto the bottom of his neck.

"Oh, da--" The mailman swung his arm wildly, his finger burnt by the ignited rope. "I knew it! Rick, this is why no one buys anything from you!"

Jack smirked. He knew it. But there was one thing he hadn't foreseen:

If the rope was going to burst into flames, it would hurt like hell if it was around his neck when it happened.

Once the universe recovered from the massive sonic blast from Jack's scream, he leapt over the horse racetrack wall. Karen, the only one to notice him amongst the chaos he'd generated, ran after him. He'd revealed that he was a good person. She couldn't let them kill him—until he proved her wrong.

"Well, now what are you going to do?"

Her voice immediately caught Jack's attention. With all the confusion and burn wounds (he'd jumped in a pond, but the scars were still there. Still, they were comparitively mild.) in the past few hours, he had forgotten that Karen had stopped hating him.

They were standing in one of the forests in the outskirts of the island, far away from the village.

"I don't know," Jack answered, sitting on the ground. "I just had to get out because I was almost set on fire from the neck up. You didn't have to follow me. Just to let you know, there's no alcohol out in the woods."

"Don't you think I know that? Are you implying that I'm an alcoholic?"

"No, I was just observing that…whatever. We can't spend too much time here. They think I've murdered Kai."

"What?" Karen shouted, which narrowly avoided giving away their location. "How the hell can someone 'think' you've murdered someone? What's going on?"

"Well, I did blast a tiny hole through him…"

"A…tiny…hole?" Karen questioned, twitching in restraint. "Tiny, you say…?"

"…Y…yes…"

"So you freaking shot a guy and you're saying it wasn't fatal at all?"

"Well, technically it was an energy blast." Oops.

"Oh, good, that's not worse at all! Well I hope you got that bandana you're so damned obsessed with!"

"…oh…no…"

"Oh, so now you've realized what you've done?"

"I forgot to take the bandana! Karen, this means that he could have recovered!"

"How terrible; an innocent vineyard worker wasn't brutally killed. Here, let's go into the village and fix that."

"For the last time, Kai. Is. A. DEMON!"

"I'll tell you what—I'll give you my family's property, even the dying, rotting vineyard, if you can prove that you're right."

"You sure?"

"Yes."

"Doesn't your dad protect it or anything?"

"He leaves it anywhere in the house when he staggers home drunk. I'm sure I could find it—AAUGH!"

The girl was immediately ripped off the ground by a massive, glowing, spectral, violet hand. Jack stared in horror as his one of his greatest fears was realized for the thousandth time: Kai had captured Karen.

He stared blankly at the chaotic scene as she struggled to escape Kai's grasp. He attempted to find a proper way to make her certain that she would be safe. "Don't worry, I'll stop him," and "Wait a minute, I'll save you," came to mind. But before he could shout these confident boasts, he blurted out:

"So, the deal includes all the buildings, right?"