A/N: I'm so sorry. sniff sniff Please don't hate me. I'm not drawing it out - I promise. I'm trying to move past this as quickly as I can.

Ali – no need to apologize at all. And I've got you on the list – no matter what I decide to do with the next story.

And my darling Awians – Love you to Reese's Pieces (lol!) or as maybe as much as Oreos. ;) Stay dry Melody dearest. Grrr. Nasty Ophelia.

Until 44! xox-G

Chapter Forty-three

The room was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Ethan sat on a chair in the corner of the room, shock filling his features. His hands were shaking; his heart beat hadn't slowed since Michelle gave him the horrible news.

Lynnie lay in bed, so still he wanted to go to her to make sure she was breathing. But he couldn't. Just the possibility of something being wrong with her was much more than he could bear.

He remembered clearly the look on her face when Michelle gave her the news. He was so afraid. He could tell all that had happened didn't register. Because, unbelievably, through it all, Lynnie didn't cry.

Not when Michelle told her. As she heard the news she simply nodded. While they administered the drugs she looked ahead blankly, her face completely expressionless. When they placed the baby in her arms briefly she simply bent her head and placed a kiss on her cheek.

"Goodbye little Lilly..." She'd whispered. "I love you."

It wasn't the way he'd pictured any of it, not at all. She'd been so brave through it all and now she lay sleeping, and Ethan had no idea what to do next.

"Ethan?" Cameron called from the door.

"Yeah." He replied softly.

"How's she doing?" Cam asked.

"I don't…" Ethan shook his head and then gazed over at Lynnie again. "I don't know."

Cam shook his head, just imagining how much he was hurting. "OK. How are you doing then?"

"I've been better." He admitted with a sigh.

"I know. Listen…" Cam began, unable to believe he had to speak the words at all. "I'm not trying to rush you or anything, but when you're ready - Rafe and I, we're going to go over to the house and put some of the baby's things away. We don't want you two to have to come home to that."

"That's probably a good idea." Ethan replied, his voice sounding far away.

"OK." Cam nodded as he walked over and placed a hand gently on his shoulder. "Whenever you're ready, we're here for you. You just tell us when."

Ethan simply nodded as he stood and turned his back to him. He moved to the window and gazed at the lights down below. It started snowing softly, the flakes dancing as they floated down to the street. A tear slowly ran down his cheek as the thought flew through his mind. Lynnie loved the snow…

Cam walked over to Lynnie's bedside. She looked so tiny and much younger than her years. As her father he wanted to take her in his arms and make it all better but he couldn't. No matter how much he wanted it to be true, there was nothing he could do.

"Gwendolyn, sweetheart." He whispered as he pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I know that this won't be easy but we are all here for you. You just remember that OK?" He ran a hand gently through her hair as he continued. "And you remember that this wasn't your fault. You hear me? You and your mother. You always take on so much. This wasn't because of you, honey. You have to believe that."

Leaning down and kissing her again he fought to keep himself steady. He felt like he'd aged twenty years in an instant. Feeling nothing but helpless, he straightened and moved to the door.

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Tim watched as Maggie hung up the phone. It took him a few moments to realize she was crying.

It had been six months since that day he'd come with her to the park, six months since they'd had dinner. Six months spent falling head over heels in love with her. He looked at her now, and was desperately trying to figure out what was wrong.

"Mags? What's the matter?" He whispered as he placed a hand gently on her back.

She turned into him, startling him as she wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly.

They'd been going so slow, he'd been waiting for this forever it seemed. But at the moment,all he could think of, all he could hear was the sound of her sobbing. "Maggie? What is it?"

"That was Danny. Lia went to the hospital. They thought she might have the babies tonight. But she's not. It was just a false alarm. But Lynnie…" She sobbed. "Lynnie and Ethan…they lost their baby."

"What?" Tim shook his head as he held her tighter. "That doesn't seem right."

"It's not right. Not at all." Maggie replied. "I love both of them so much. Lia's my sister in law but Lynnie is the sweetest person in the world. It shouldn't have happened."

"No it shouldn't have." He pulled back and smoothed back her hair so he could look into her eyes. "Do you want to go there?"

"No." She shook her head. "She's Becky's cousin. She'll probably be there."

This wasn't the time to bring up the fact that he thought it had been far too long since Maggie and Becky had spoken. "OK. What do you want to do then?"

She reached for his hand and moved closer to him. "Will you just sit here with me?" She asked as she laid her head on his shoulder. This was so nice. Maggie thought with a sigh. Who knew six months ago that she'd have someone like Tim in her life, someone who didn't use her at every opportunity? Her whole world had been turned around in such a short time.

Tim linked his fingers with her and gave her a smile. "Absolutely."

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"What would you do if that happened to us?" Becky asked as she laysnuggled up beside Kyle.

"Becky…" Kyle sighed. "We have plenty of time. We don't have to worry about this."

"I know. I can't help it. It must be so awful." She sniffled as she curled her hand into the fabric of his sweater and tugged at it a bit. "I remember when my mom almost lost Ella. It was so scary. But it wasn't like this…" Becky's voice choked on a sob. "Nothing's like this…"

"No. Nothing's like this." He whispered against her hair. "But when I almost lost you, I got an idea of how awful it could be."

It seemed like so long ago. "I don't ever think of it like that." Becky replied, truthfully. "I never felt like I was really going anywhere."

"I did." Kyle said softly. "When I saw you fall to the ground." He shivered at the memory. "I thought I'd lost you. I felt like my own life was over..."

She felt him shaking and she moved to face him. "Kyle…" She said with a smile, wiping her tears away with the back of her hand. She was overcome with love as she added. "It's OK. I'm right here..."

"I know." He nodded before he leaned down and pressed a kiss to her lips. He knew she was right there with him, but it didn't make the memories any less frightening. "I know."

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"Did you give them her blanket?" A raspy whisper broke through the silence in the room.

Ethan turned around to face her. He didn't know what to say, so he decided to simply answer her question. "Which blanket?" Ethan's voice was lifeless.

Lynnie's words were full of sorrow. "The white one. The one my grandmother sent. It has a tiny pink bow in one corner. She was so sure it would be a girl…"

"We didn't come here with any blankets Lynn." He replied as he finally met her eyes.

"You need to get it OK?" Lynnie instructed. "It's in the bag that we packed. Give it to Aunt Alison. She'll know what to do."

"OK." He nodded. For the first time since he'd known her, Ethan had no idea how to comfort her. "Lynnie…" He began.

"My mom won't be able to. She's too upset. She's got too much to handle. Give it to Aunt Alison." Lynnie repeated. "She'll know what to do."

"I will. Lynnie…" He tried again as he moved towards the bed.

Lynnie didn't even look at him. "She needs an outfit too. It should be the one we were going to bring her home in. The one with the lilies on the collar."

Ethan's hands fell to his sides. He'd never felt more useless in his life. He just stood there and listened to her talk. Her eyes were sad but still completely dry.

"I want there to be lilies too. We need to have a service. Something small. Just for us." He reached for her and she cringed away from him, making the crack in his heart grow wider by the second.

For the moment he settled for sitting beside her, staring at her beautiful face, now so pale and sad. "Whatever you want Lynnie." He promised her. "We'll do whatever you want."