Chapter Forty-eight

Quinn walked in quietly, his face full of sadness. Billie raced over to him and immediately hugged him tight.

After a few long moments she finally spoke. "Is she gone?" She whispered.

"Yeah." He sighed as he ran a hand up and down her back. "She's a complete wreck. Good thing Danny was with me. He gave her some sort of sedative. She should sleep for the whole flight."

"If you think she's in bad shape imagine Ethan." Billie replied holding him tighter.

Quinn absolutely could. He pulled back and stared into her eyes. "Listen to me." He said softly. "Don't you ever do that to me - OK?"

"Quinn…" Billie began.

He cut her off sharply. "I mean it. I'm serious. Don't you ever leave me."

"I won't." She promised.

"You think I'm joking." He replied.

Billie shook her head at him. "No I don't…"

"Please." Quinn demanded softly as he tugged her toward him again. "I know why Lynnie did what she did and I know I helped her do it. But I also know you Belinda. This is totally something you would do and I'm telling you right now. I won't be able to take it. So. I want to make sure you hear me. Don't you dare ever leave me."

"I won't Quinn. I promise." She whispered into his shoulder.

It was as if he didn't hear her. "Billie. Please. Don't ever leave me." He said again as he pressed a kiss to her hair and held her tighter.

She blinked back tears as she leaned back in his arms. "Quinn. Do you remember when we met?" She asked him. "What I was like?"

In his mind he saw her clearly. She had been so scared, so frightened. It had taken forever to get her to trust him. "You were so different." He smiled down at her. "You were a mess."

"That's such a sweet way to put it. Thanks." She playfully shoved him. "OK. You're right. I know I was but you never gave up on me. Not once." She said softly, her voice full of love. She reached up and ran a hand through his hair. "After you were so good to me, how could I ever give up on you?"

"Billie…" He sighed as she moved closer.

"I'll never leave you Quinn." She promised as she pressed her lips to his. "Never, ever, never…" She pulled back slightly and smiled. "I wouldn't even know how to."

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The door nearly shook off its hinges, Ethan pounded on it so furiously.

Danny moved to answer it, knowing without even opening the door who was on the other side. "Ethan. Hold on…"

"Is she here?" Ethan asked, his eyes wild. "Please Danny. Tell me she's here." He pleaded.

"I'm sorry. I can't do that." Danny replied, his heart going out to him. "Lynnie's not here. Ethan…"

It was not the answer he wanted but he would not be deterred. "OK. OK. But, Lia will know. She'll know where she is." Ethan said, his voice frantic. "Please. Let me ask Lia."

Danny desperately tried to calm his friend down a bit. He and Lia had expected that he'd come looking here. "OK. I'll get her for you. Just wait a second. She's feeding Liam."

"Oh. I'm sorry. Of course…the babies." Ethan whispered, his face crumpling with grief. "I forgot…"

"It's OK." Danny replied, cutting him off gently. "I know. It's alright. Why don't you have a seat OK? Just wait here. I'll go get her." He promised as he went off to do just that.

Lia's eyes were filled with tears as she saw him sitting there. He looked so lost. She whispered his name softly as she came out into the living room.

He was off the couch and standing in front of her in an instant. "Lia. Please. Tell me where to find her. I know you know."

"Ethan. I know you must be going crazy. But I can't tell you where she is. She needs a little time…"

Ethan couldn't understand. "I know that. I was giving her time. Lia. I never said anything. I kept away. I left her alone. I knew she needed some space and I gave it to her." A horrible thought suddenly flew through his mind. It was one he'd never entertained before. "Oh my God. Does she think it's my fault?"

"No Ethan." Lia protested. "I promise you she doesn't."

"Then why?" He begged her to give him the answers he so desperately needed. "Lia. I don't understand."

Her heart broke as she gazed over at him. "I know. Ethan…"

"I love her…so much. I mean. Do you have any idea?" He asked as he began to pace the living room. "From the minute I saw her I was lost." He continued. "I've never in my life seen anything so beautiful."

Lia stood by, helpless. And though she and Lynnie were identical in almost every way when he looked at her Ethan saw nothing that resembled the woman he loved. To him, Lynnie was one of a kind.

"Lynnie is the most amazing woman in the world. She thinks she's a burden to me but she isn't at all. I love taking care of her. Honestly. It's no trouble to me at all. She has to deal with so much it makes me happy to be able to take some of that away from her." Tears filled Ethan's eyes as he went on. "Lia, I thought she knew…" His voice broke and he sank back down on the couch. "I thought she knew…"

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The sun had been up for hours but she had been oblivious. For the first time in months she'd slept soundly through the night.

When Quinn and Danny dropped her at the airport, making sure she was safely aboard the Barrington jet she had barely buckled herself in before her eyes were shut. She'd been so far under she barely remembered being tucked into bed.

Throwing back the soft down quilt covering her she looked around the room and felt an odd sense of peace. It was right to come here. She thought with a sigh. Finally she began to feel more like herself.

Still the thought crept into her mind. Ethan would love it here. She sighed as she looked around.

A tear or two escaped involuntarily. She grabbed her glasses from the bedside table and as she put them on, everything came into sharper focus. Taking a deep breath, she made her way down the stairs.

"It's so late." Lynnie whispered as she walked into the kitchen and noted the time. "Why didn't you wake me?"

"You needed to sleep." Her grandmother replied with a smile. "How's my Gwynnie-girl?"

"I'm a little better." Lynnie admitted, smiling at the name Sheila had always called her.

"That's all we can ask for." She replied.

Lynnie sank into a chair as Sheila poured her a cup of tea. "Where's Grandpa?" She asked as she took a sip.

"Out." She said with a roll of her eyes. "Somewhere. Jesus, Mary and Joseph the man's going to drive me to an early grave."

"Gram." Lynnie laughed softly, the sound strange to her own ears. It startled her a bit to know that she still could. "Be nice."

"That was nice. I could've said something worse." Sheila replied with a shrug.

"Who are you kidding?" Lynnie's smile grew slightly wider. "You love Grandpa."

"And you love Ethan." Her grandmother countered.

Lynnie blinked and hung her head. "Yes. I do." She whispered with a nod.

One thing about Sheila, she always told it like it was. She leaned across the table and grasped for Lynnie's hand. "Darling, you know you can stay here as long as you like. God knows you're as sweet as ten pounds of sugar and not a bother at all. But all those miles away there's a young man whose heart you shattered when you walked out that door."

"I know that Gram." Lynnie replied, wiping at her eyes.

"You're entitled to be sad, Gwynnie. You have every reason to." She kept on. "But best you remember that he lost her too."

The tears still came - faster now. "I know." She nodded. Lynnie had hoped that Ethan would move on without her but deep in her heart she knew it would never happen. She had thought she'd be strong enough to be the one who walked away but she knew she was kidding herself. She loved him far too much to ever let him go. So she came here, to where her parents grew up to try and put the pieces back together. Once she was stronger she could face him again. But not before. Not the way it was now - where Ethan thought he'd have to fix it all on his own.

Sheila stood and walked around the table, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "He's a keeper, that Ethan. They don't make them much better." She said, her voice definite. "You take your time and work through this horrible thing but then you go straight back to him. Do you hear me?" She whispered as she pulled away.

She waited to see her granddaughter nod again before she walked out of the room. Lynnie reached for a napkin and swiped at her tears as she whispered. "I intend to."