Author's Note: Thanks for all the wonderful reviews! I loved them all. Just a short note to let you know that the first part of the story will revolve around Mer/Der/Finn. The rest will fall into place shortly.
Cuddy.
Chapter Four: My McDream
Meredith woke to the smell of bacon. Man, she loved that smell; dreamed about it from time to time, woke up instantly to the tantalizing promise of grabbing a handful of crispy, fatty, cholesterol clogging goodness and shoving it all in her mouth—and then taking more.
She opened her eyes and took in her surroundings; The bedroom was very tastefully decorated with its cherry wood bedframe and matching dresser, ottoman and side tables. The drapes were hung on wrought iron poles with decorative sconces on each end. The window was open with a slight warm breezed that tossed the sheer white tabs about. The whole room was white; the bed coverings, pillowcases, walls, the pictures on the wall with white frames. Some would say it was institutional; others peaceful, like white fluffy clouds drifting about. She opted for peaceful.
It was like waking up in a dream. A McDream, she decided, a small smile growing on her lips at the thought. It was so peaceful here—so void of anything negative—so unlike the way she'd woken up for months on end in her own bed—sometimes alone, sometimes not—wondering why she had the life she had.
She rolled over in Finn's king sized bed and snuggled in the special warmth that only a feather duvet could provide and sighed. Her gaze focused on the clock on the bedside table. Seven-thirty. She didn't have to be at the hospital until six that evening and was quite happy about it. How was she ever going to face Derek again? After that sweaty, wanton, sexcapade that they had gone on?
She groaned and decided that thinking about that subject before noon was just plain irresponsible—and—how could she possibly have a rational thought in her mind when her stomach was growling so loud it was about to go on strike?
She was saved when the bedroom door opened and Finn gently pushed it aside with his hip. He was dressed only in a pair of faded Levi's. He was carrying breakfast on a simple silver tray, complete with a single red rose in a white vase. His blue eyes twinkled as he smiled at her.
"Good morning." He said, sitting the tray down on the bed and leaning over to kiss her cheek affectionately. "I didn't think you'd be awake yet."
Touched by the sweetness of the sentiment––by the overall sweetness of the man himself–she smiled. "Occupational hazzard." She said as she traced a finger over the soft red petals of the rose. "I don't get more than five hours at a time. Keeps me strong."
"Or just plain tired."
She grinned. "True." Looking down at the breakfast he had gotten up early to prepare, she was left feeling very grateful that he was being so good to her. "Finn, this is a wonderful surprise. Thank you."
Their eyes met and held, blue on blue and there seemed to be so much more to what was left unsaid, so much more than words could say. He picked up a piece of bacon and held it to her lips. "Here. Eat."
She accepted and bit off as much as she could chew, savoring the taste in her mouth, and rolled her eyes back. "It's heavenly—perfect." She mumbled. "How did you know exactly how I liked my bacon?" She teased. "Have you been studying me? Learning my habits?"
His face turned somber for a moment. "I'll do whatever it takes to make you happy, Meredith." He said slowly, deliberately, so that she knew he wasn't joking. "I'll make you breakfast every day if it'll put a smile on that beautiful face of yours."
She didn't know what to say–what could she say? "Finn, I—" She began, not knowing what words she could say that would describe how she was feeling.
"Don't." He said softly, bringing her hand to his lips. "Don't say anything. Just listen to what I have to say."
She nodded.
"I've waited a long time to meet someone like you. You're smart, beautiful and ten times the woman of my dreams—only you don't seem to know how special you are—to me, to those around you. It's like you have a light in you that everyone else sees, but you don't see it. Don't see how it shines in your eyes when you're happy. I want to make you happy." He looked around the room and everywhere around her and smiled slowly. "You're amazing and what I don't get is how I am the only man who gets that about you–who knows that he is the luckiest man in the whole world, just because you saw me and you smiled."
She felt her heart crack just a little, felt her eyes well up with tears. His words, while beautiful and articulate, were dazzling her, making her shine when she knew deep inside herself that she didn't deserve such a pedestal–was afraid that she'd soon be knocked down when he discovered that she was afraid of heights.
"Finn, I don't know what to say." She confessed softly. He had taken her breath away. "I'm not sure that I deserve those words. Not from someone as fine as you. You could do better."
He raised his eyebrows. "Better than you?"
"Definitely better than me."
"I don't think so." He ran his hand through her tangle of hair and then touched the tip of her nose with his index finger. "And even if I could find better—which I can tell you that I would not—I wouldn't care because I want you, Meredith. I want to be with you."
"Why?"
"Why what?"
She looked up at the ceiling and shook her head. "Why would you want to be with me? With someone who invited you on a date and slept with her ex-boyfriend—married ex-boyfriend on that said date. Who cannot give you answers to your questions?"
He glanced down at the blanket for a moment, considering her words. Maybe he would sound simple to her–--crazy—out of his mind for wanting her like he did. But that didn't matter because he saw things in Meredith Grey that he was sure that no one else saw––even Derek Shepard. He knew that underneath the hurt feelings, the drinking at Joe's after a hard shift, the firm resolve to not get involved again, there was a woman––a passionate, ever loving, kind woman who needed the love of a man who respected her, who understood her and never took her for granted.
He hated what Shepard had turned her into–not only because he had broken her heart but because little by little he had chipped away at her self-esteem. She didn't believe that she was worthy of love–real love—not the cheat-on-your–wife kind of selfish love. Little did he know Derek's true feelings and he wouldn't have cared to know. All he wanted was a chance.
"Is it so hard to believe that I would want to be with you?"
"Well—considering that you know what I'm capable of—I'd say that 'yes', would be a fitting word to answer that question."
He scoffed. "What you're capable of? You don't give yourself enough credit, Meredith." He leaned down and caught her hand in his. "Do I strike you as the type of man who just dates anyone off the street?"
"No."
"Do you know why?"
"I bet you're going to tell me."
He grinned, amused. "That's right. I went to university, I graduated. I come from a good family. I love expensive cars, fine dining, travel and beautiful women."
She rolled her eyes. "Are you auditioning for the bachelor?"
He smirked, liking that she was willing to go along with him. "No. I'm auditioning for you."
"What? Why?"
He sighed, exasperated–but he was still amused. She was hard-headed and stubborn but he'd find a way to convince her. "Am I a classy guy or just an average one?'
"Do you really have to ask?"
"Yes."
"Obviously a classy one."
'Right—so do you think that I'm desperate? That I'd go out with anyone who wanted me? Bertha from the market or Jocelyn the bearded lady from the lunch counter or maybe that woman at your hospital who always tells me that she'd like ta take me home so she can show me what it's like to get with a real down-home Southern gal?"
She was almost offended. "No—of course not! You are one of the most handsome and eligible bachelors in Seattle."
"So, why is it so hard for you to believe that I want to be with you?"
She was grinning now. He'd lightened her mood, made her feel good about herself. Not many people could do that these days. He really was a great guy—she must have had rocks in her head to ever think otherwise.
"Say it again." She said softly.
He didn't pretend not to understand, as he moved closer to her on the bed and cupped his hand on her cheek. "I want you."
"Again."
"I want you, Meredith."
"How bad?" She was teasing him, using her tone, making him know that she wanted him—and in between the sheets.
He didn't take the bait. He was going to have to show her that he wanted her for more—to be more than just another roll in the hay.
"Badly enough to wait until you're ready." He said as he leaned in and kissed her lips. "Enough to wait until the time is right."
And wait he would. In the meantime he'd do his best to let her know how much he cared.
He hoped that it would be enough.