What to do? What was there to do when the love of your life desperately tells you that he is leaving his wife because he wants to be with you always? She had waited months and months to hear those words and yet, as soon as she did she bolted like a frightened colt.
Her stomach churned as she thought about the glazed look in his eye, the wildness of the confession, the hurt that had been his when she didn't respond the way he wanted her to. Her head ached and she wanted nothing more than to go to bed. She wanted Derek, she wanted Finn and she wanted nothing and everything all in the same breath.
She would have gladly given her soul for a bottle of rum and some time alone.
"Right here." She instructed. "The one on the left." Meredith turned awkwardly, snapping out of her reverie and let out a groan of distress. Having your arm in a sling was no picnic, especially when one needed to reach into their own pockets.
"Thanks."
"Have a nice day, miss. Hope your arm feels better." The elder gentlemen wished her kindly.
"Me too." She smiled. Having a nice cab driver was such a monumentous event, she should have called the news.
She handed the money to the driver and made her way out of the yellow cab. As she looked up at the house before her she saw Finn standing in the livingroom window. She cringed—couldn't help it—she didn't belong with him, didn't deserve his goodness, his kindness----and yet, she hadn't gone home, she'd come strait here.
Granted, he had called her about ten o'clock, very excited and told her that he'd be awake when she got 'home'----that he needed to talk to her and that it was very 'big'. The very fact that he'd referred to his dwelling as her home made her uneasy. Even though she wanted something real, something fantastic, she felt that he was going to fast. It was all way to fast for her.
There had been a kind of languidness in her relationship with Derek—Probably because it hadn't gone where it was supposed to and hadn't turned out the way that she thought it would. But still, it had been a slow burn from the beginning and had continued on, even to where they were now. Except now it wasn't slow; It was passionate and harsh and full of everything from anger to blood red lust. She knew she was his and vice versa. The problem was where did they go from there?
As the cab started down the drive, she suddenly felt panic hit her in the face like a bucket of water. She didn't want to be here now. She needed to get away and think, not keep immersing herself in the two men who had made her feel inside out and backwards. Come to think of it, that bottle of rum sounded mighty good right about then.
"Wait!" She turned and ran and tapped the trunk. The driver stopped and, taking one last look at Finn's house, she opened the back door and hopped in.
"Change your mind miss?"
Somehow, she felt better. "Ya. I did. I changed my mind."
GREYSGREYSGREYSGREYSGREYSGREYSGREYSGREYSGREYSGREYSGREYSGREYSGR
Meredith opened the front door and made her way down the hall. She could hear sounds from the kitchen; The radio blaring, the sound of cutlery and dishes being plunked on the table. Good natured bantering from her two roommates was always a point of comfort for her, made her feel at home.
"Can you put chocolate chip's in mine?"
"George—I already told you that I'm making french toast—and I'm not putting chocolate chips in it."
"Please?"
"No."
"You're bossy."
"You're an ass."
"Jeez, Izzy, does Denny know how domineering you are?"
"Oh, shut up!"
Meredith grinned despite her aching arm. She loved the camaraderie of her house, the good times they had—even if things were still strained between her and George she knew that they would get back to normal eventually.
She entered the kitchen and was immediately touched by the sight of her squabbling roommates, her best friends. They both turned when she entered.
"Hi."
"How's your arm?" George asked, coming over and touching the sling gingerly. "You had quite a fall on your getaway flight from Shepard."
"I know. It was stupid. Believe me I feel stupid enough to wonder if I am somehow mentally challenged."
He shook his head. "Not mentally challenged, Mer." He corrected, with a hint of laughter in his eyes. "You're men–tally challenged!"
Izzy laughed. "He's right!" She pointed her spatula at Meredith. "It's true! You are men-tally challenged and have been for quite some time."
Meredith rolled her eyes but the truth was that she didn't mind this kind of banter. She knew they had her best interests at heart, even if it was hard for George. "Thanks guys." She said flatly as she slid into her seat. "I knew there was a reason that I had to come home—just to get made fun of when my life is falling apart."
"You know that's not true." Izzy argued as she brought over a plate for her. It smelled delicious and Izzy hadn't wasted all of that time in her trailer as a kid. She'd learned to bake as a distraction from her alcoholic mother. "We love you and we support you—even if you've gotten yourself into a mess with this one."
George grabbed his plate and sat down opposite Meredith. "What are you going to do? Keep them both?" He chewed thoughtfully. "You know, you could always move to Utah, do the old Mormon thing and have more than one husband."
"Oh shut up, you neandrathol." Izzy chided, as she sat down. "Don't listen to him. He still wonders why Happy Days was taken off the air."
He widened his eyes. "Hey—Happy Days was one of the best shows on television—so don't knock it." He said defensively.
She gave George a dirty look before continuing. "You have to pick love. No matter who it is. Who makes you the happiest?"
She sighed. " I always thought that it was Derek—but Finn is so sweet and he'd do anything for me. Derek told me that he's leaving Addison and he wants to be with me." She confessed, watching for both of their reactions. She wasn't disappointed.
Both Izzy and George stopped their forks in mid air. "He told you that?" George leaned forward. "Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"Did he say those exact words or was it the general jist of the conversation?"
"She didn't write it down George!" Izzy snapped. "Next time she can bring the stenographer and get it all typed up for you." She turned back to Meredith. "He wants to be with you, he's leaving Addison and you're having mixed feelings about it?"
She nodded. "He told me that he wants to be with me and have kids with me. I just don't know what to do."
"Mer----you've waited for Derek for an entire year. You've just met Finn and no matter how great he is you can't discount the love that you and Derek share." She shook her head. "It's that way with Denny and me. No matter what Alex and I had, it was nothing compared to what I have with Denny, what we're going to have together."
"I'm happy for you Iz."
Izzy beamed. "I know. True love is the only way to go. You can't waste your time on someone who isn't truly your soulmate. I know that Denny is mine and no matter what an ass McDreamy has been I think that he's your's as well." She looked over at George, who was suddenly quiet. "What's wrong with you?"
Meredith looked at him. He was staring down at his plate. "George?"
He looked up and smiled a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "Sorry, all of this love talk just makes me feel weird sometimes."
"What do you mean? You're in love with Callie."
He shrugged. "I don't know what it is yet." He pushed his food around on his plate. "It's complicated."
"What's so complicated about it?" Izzy joked. "You've been together for at least four months. Don't you know how you feel about her?"
He rolled his eyes to the ceiling. "I feel surprisingly scared sometimes. I'm not ready to be what she wants me to be."
"George—what do you think she wants?" Meredith asked softly.
"To get married." He confessed dully. "I don't think I'm ready for that—it's just that she's in one place and I'm in the other—and there's more to it than that."
The woman exchanged glances. "Well, what is it?"
He looked from one to the other. "You have to swear that you won't tell anyone—I mean swear on your own lives—and I mean it!"
They both nodded.
He took a deep breath. "She's pregnant."