---------------CONCEALING DARK---------------
((one-shot))
It's dark, but it isn't that kind of concealing dark, that lovers like to take advantage of. But there are some lovers that try to take advantage of non-concealing dark anyway, though it doesn't conceal anything at all.
If only they didn't, because then people with hearts like gems - specifically, emeralds - won't have their precious hearts shattered.
Nealan of Queenscove, emerald-eyes, emerald-heart, lingers in the concealing shadows of a Corus alleyway. He creeps out and sneaks a look out down the street, even though he knows he won't like what he sees. It's an urge to see, but an urge that is painfully fulfilled.
Outside, in a shop's barely visible doorway, stand two figures. Their bodies are crushed together with passion and warmth, sharing heat and saliva and who knows what else. But, far from making him warm, this supposedly romantic sight makes him feel cold and empty. Neal drags himself away to press himself against a cold stone wall out of sight, shivering in the Midwinter chill.
He supposed he had always known that Cleon had harboured long, arduous feelings for Kel. At first, it was just the hideously garish names that made Neal grind his teeth together to prevent himself from doing anything rash. Just a page's crush, he'd thought, but it had grown instead of faded away like he'd hoped it would. It was blindingly obvious to anyone who read the signs - nerves, lingering around her, increased clumsiness when she was near. It had been hard enough just watching him staring at her every five seconds, but then he'd begun to notice a change, starting the day after the Midwinter banquet.
He heavily regretted having to go to the mages' party the evening of that banquet - if he hadn't, not only would he have managed to avoid Yuki's first traces of feelings, but he may have been able to - well, "guard" Kel. Because after that night, he realised what must have happened, and he hated it vehemently. Cleon would watch her a little dreamily, and Kel would avoid him point-blank at first, until Neal saw them talking one day as they set out bowls of water for nobles to wash their fingers in. Then, inevitably, things grew - and now, here he was. Still containing hot, bubbling emotions about his friend and feeling guilty about it, because there weren't supposed to be any secrets between best friends. Sneakily watching Kel and Cleon kiss in Corus alleyways late at night as though they are some forbidden couple from a trashy romance novel, and he is the handsome young man who has to endure the torture of it all. Despite the fact that he spies on them with complete free will, it still hurt to see them sharing passion, but he just couldn't not keep an eye on them and their relationship.
It was ridiculous. Their relationship would never work - in a day's time, Cleon would be a knight, gallivanting off to the far ends of the country to spar with giants and get kicked in by centaurs. And Kel would be left at the palace, seeing him maybe twice a year - three times if the gods decided to shine on her - and being one of those sulky, melancholy angels of beauty that would constantly spew some rubbish about her lover, just inconspicuously disguising avid concern for a sweetheart as moderate concern for a friend. Well - Neal knows that isn't what Kel would do at all, but at the moment, he'd rather wallow in self-pity. Rather ignore Kel's honesty and lack of interest in popularity games and the art of seduction, because it hurts to think that, when she's with Neal, her best friend, she might be thinking of Cleon. Wondering how he is, what he is doing, but never, ever voicing it. Keeping it a secret from her own best friend. That is the only way he can justify keeping his own raging feelings secret - she's hiding something too, except he knows what it is anyway.
Sometimes he figures that he will tell her, and get it over with; but when she walks around the corner, any rage and courage suddenly dissipate and he's left to greet her jokingly and pretend things are the same, and that he doesn't know anything about any sort of relationship involving her and anyone called Cleon. This in itself often hurts more than seeing them together.
One night, he finally finds it impossible to lock everything up. They are sitting in the library, all alone except for the soft thumps as librarians pull out and put away thick books on shelves that stretch up to the ceiling. Sitting around a small table in the centre of the room, Neal wonders silently how Kel can shove everything behind her mask and keep it there, emotionless, like the undisturbed surface of a lake. She reads in silence beside him, but he thinks he can feel her eyes on him when he turns away to look out the big window beside him. He doesn't want to speak at all, so he doesn't mention it.
"Neal, is something wrong?" Her voice is hushed as though afraid.
"'Is something wrong?'" he repeats, a lot more spitefully than he intended. He finds his voice rising, but couldn't care less about getting scolded by a librarian for being too loud. "Being so devoid of emotion herself, why in Tortall would the Yamani Lump ask me if there is something wrong?"
She looks hurt and shocked, but at that moment, he is flooded in waves of roaring emotion, and not even her fearful eyes cut through all the anger. She sucks in a guttering breath and says, "Because I'm your friend!"
"You're my friend, are you?" he snarls. "Then why are you keeping your stupid secret from me? Why are you acting like everything is okay?" Now he stands, almost knocking the table over. His chair gets shoved back. Kel looks up at him with wide, frightened eyes, but not even that penetrates Neal's mind. His voice switches to slight desperation. "It is not okay, Kel! I'm sick of being just friends!"
His eyes search hers fleetingly, and then he leans forward and jams his lips onto hers.
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Written for inspiration on the ongoing, epic saga that is my wondrous Moonbeams and Sunsets (been having quite stubborn writer's block recently)... It feels like I'm going to be a KelNeal fan forever. Not that that's a bad thing.