A/N To Imbreena and anyone else, this will not be a Charlie/Leslie romance. I don't read romance and it's just a guess but I don't think I could write one if I tried.

I'm posting this chapter earlier than I had planned. luvnumb3rs was my motivation to post it today instead of tomorrow. I do not own the Numb3rs characters. I just borrowed them.

Chapter 9

When Charlie got back to his apartment he changed into his swimming trunks, ate an energy bar and headed for the roof. Charlie's goal was nine laps today and he easily reached that.

After the swim, he laid down on one of the lounge chairs to dry off. Charlie immediately thought of home and how much he missed his father and brother. It had been a productive week for his mind and his body. But, it seemed every time he slowed down he would get homesick. Charlie went back to his apartment and changed to some sweatpants and a tee-shit and headed to the gym for his run.

Don was sitting at his desk and staring off into space again when Megan passed in front of his line of vision. He had so many questions, the answers all came from his imagination.

What was Charlie doing? Would he come back? Had the damage Don done to their relationship caused a permanent separation from his brother? It struck him as ironic that it took Charlie running away for Don to realize how important he had been in his life. Charlie had always been there. Don was the one that had a bit of wanderlust for a while and when he came home Charlie was here, where he should be. Don was fairly certain that his brother was not in any danger, but he felt a need to find out at least some information. Why didn't he at least call Dad? Charlie must know that Dad missed him and would want to hear from him.

Megan stopped right in front of him. "Don, are you even in this room?"

"What? Oh, I'm sorry Megan. I was just thinking about Charlie."

"You know, you haven't said anything about Charlie to us. I know the two of you fought before you went to Sacramento. Do you want to talk about it? Did Charlie leave because of that fight? All you seem to say is that 'Charlie is gone'. If you don't want to talk about it, that's fine. But, I'm here if you do need someone to listen."

"I don't know Megan. I'm not sure you would be a good one to talk with about this. Trust me when I say that the way I treated Charlie before he left was probably worse than you could imagine. I still haven't figured out for sure why I acted that way."

"Try me. I am an excellent listener and I promise to at least try not to judge you."

"Okay, but you better be remembering that promise after I tell you all of it and I would strongly suggest that you not hit your boss." She laughed.

"I'm completely serious here. I do need to talk about this and you may be the one that can help me see WHY I was such a jerk to my brother."

"Hey Don, Let's take a walk outside. More privacy that way."

They got on the elevator and since there was another agent there, neither said anything.

When they walked outside, Don started to talk. "I never realized how important Charlie was to me before. When we were kids he was the genius, annoying little brother who was always following me around. I didn't mind it so much at first especially if my friends were not around. But when we were in high school, he was nothing but annoying. A few of my teachers just loved adorable little Charlie who was always the top student in most every class.

It got to the point where I hated being around Charlie and the really saddest part of all was that looking back on it, Charlie was more like that wounded little dog that is kicked constantly but keeps going back to his owner. I don't mean I hit him or anything, but I was really mean to him."

They found a bench and sat down. Megan waited for Don to continue.

"I would never let anyone physically hurt Charlie but the mental abuse he had to put up with the other kids had to be rough. What I think was the worst though was how I treated him. Poor little guy, you know I can still see the crushed look on his face when I screamed at him in the hallway at school to get away from me. I've carried that look around with me and I still see it whenever I start to lose my patience with Charlie and his math talk. It keeps me in line now. I may not have a clue what he is talking about but I let him say it and I'll even ask questions if even one of those things he says connects with something in my brain.

I know Charlie's mind is amazing and it look me a long time to really appreciate what he can do with it. During our college years, I barely had any contact with Charlie and that was just fine with me. It wasn't until after Mom died that I even took the chance to really get to know anything about Charlie. I missed an awful lot of years with him. I think it took working with him here to even have any real respect for him as a person and then I shot that down with the last case he worked on."

Megan knew letting Don talk it all out without interruption could get him to the real issue and she listened.

"I don't exactly know why I blamed Charlie. I mean I blamed myself too. I was in charge of the case. Charlie may be smart but we just didn't have any clues. Why did I take it out on him, even though I was constantly telling myself, it wasn't Charlie's fault? I really knew it wasn't.

"When it was all over, I completely shut him out. And then what did I do? I called him when I needed his help again. But Charlie was no longer that kicked little dog waiting for a chance for attention again. Consciously I knew that Charlie had wore himself down with no sleep and all that stress. Then he had to jump right back into teaching when finals are coming up. And I know how rough finals are on him at the best of times. I am surprised he didn't keel over dead from all the stress and not even having the time to take care of himself.

"So, I know all this and then I got mad when he told me no. I mean I truly expected him to drop what he was doing and rush to help me. It wasn't even his telling me no, I was acting like he did not even have the right to tell me no."

Megan, who had been quiet and was absorbing the details asked quietly "Is that when he hit you?"

"Yeah it is. He had tried to tell me no on the phone and I wasn't listening, so I went to his office and of course he had a student there. We went to his classroom and that's where the confrontation took place. Twice he tried to walk away from me and both times I physically stopped him. I have to admit, I deserved that punch in the mouth. But the worst of all of it was that I hit him back."

At Megan's gasp, Don ducked his head in shame. "I have never seen Charlie look so completely defeated as he did when he picked himself up and walked away from me." There were tears in Don's eyes now. "I knew that something died in Charlie then. I felt it with my whole being and I was the one that killed it."

Don wiped at his eyes, a little ashamed to be losing control in front of his co-worker. "I have never been more ashamed of my actions as I was that night. The next day, when I left work to talk to Charlie, he walked away from me. I deserved it, I knew that and I rationalized that I would talk to him over that weekend and convince him to accept my apology. But that weekend David and I were in Sacramento and when I came back and called Charlie's house he was already gone.

"It's eating away at me, I have a hard time even facing my father. Dad doesn't know a thing about the problems Charlie and I were having. Charlie never said a word. But, I know what I did and I know Dad would be so hurt that I drove him away."

Megan was very thoughtful. When it looked like Don was not going to say anything else she said, "The first thing you need to do before anything else is get rid of the guilt. It won't help you find a solution. This is bad Don, but it can be fixed. So, shake off the guilt and then you need to decide what you can do to fix it now and then what you can do in the future. Since Charlie's not here, you need to deal with what you can do here. It would help if you could figure out why you felt the need to blame Charlie on that case. Why Charlie? Why not me? or David or Colby? Why not the parents? WHY Charlie?"

"Megan, I have been thinking about that since the night of the fight. I don't know why Charlie. Charlie is smart, brilliant even, Charlie can come up with answers that no one else can see. He can take one dot on a map and with the smallest clue know where the next pinpoint goes. Charlie always has an answer when sometimes I barely know there's a question. Charlie has solved some of the most complicated problems of world security. He has written articles and won awards. He is on a first name basis with some of the most important people of our time. There is nothing Charlie cannot do when he sets his mind to it."

"So Charlie is perfect."

"What? No! He's not perfect. He has his faults. He can't relax without a pen or piece of chalk in his hand; he has papers everywhere. Charlie gets so absorbed in whatever he's thinking that he doesn't see what's going on around him. Charlie uses up all the hot water when he takes a shower. More times than not the pants he is wearing were picked up off the floor; he loses tract of time, runs late constantly, he is horrible with remembering birthdates. He can go into a grocery store to get one item and come out with ten but you can bet he forgot that one item that he went in for in the first place."

"So, Charlie is not perfect?"

"No, he's not"

"But you expect him to be."

Don looked at her, confused. That was exactly what he expected. He expected Charlie to be perfect, to solve those murders after the first one. He expected Charlie to do something that no one could have done and that was not fair to Charlie. Don closed his eyes. "Oh my God. That is exactly what I expected."

"You may have thought that you did not really blame him, but it is pretty clear that you did. I am sure that you have given this a lot of thought and looking back on it now, of course you know it was not Charlie's fault that we could not find the killer faster, but the thing that matters most is that during the case you did blame him and your actions after the fact prove that. They also indicate that you felt Charlie owed you something back for those misguided feelings. It's almost as if you believed Charlie needed to make it up to you."

Don was sitting with his head in his hands and Megan could not judge his thoughts. But, it was clear he was thinking it over. "Now Don, what you have to decide, is what steps you can take to make it up to him. Charlie was the injured party and you owe it to him to make the first step."

Don still had not raised his head to look at her. Megan knew he was going to need some time to think things over before she helped him with a game plan. "I'm going back to the office, you take whatever time you need with this, I've got your back. If you want I can let the others know you weren't feeling well and needed to go home. When you're ready to take the next step and if you need my help, call me and I will help in any way that I can."

"Thanks Megan, please let Merrick know I left for day. I'll see you tomorrow."

Don wandered back toward the parking garage, looking for all the world like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. He was in a daze and he did not know how to handle this right now.

Agent Eppes put on his sunglasses and put the SUV into gear. He had to block this out of his mind for a while and then he planned to do some heavy thinking. Don had to do something soon to make it right again.