"Doesn't it seem a little strange for me to like flowers?" The elegant boy was kneeling in the school garden, watering a patch of lilacs. He wore a slightly startled expression that made him look almost vulnerable, very different from his cold appearance in class. Of course, she had seen it many times before.
She selected the second choice. "It's not strange, Miyabi-kun," Renge whispered.
Renge didn't know how many times she had been through the sceneAt the very least, ten, she estimated. Possibly twenty. Every time before, she had listened intently to Miyabi's beautiful voice. She was sure every line he had ever spoken in Uki-Doki Memorial was permanently imprinted in her brain.
This time, though, the scene didn't feel the same. It didn't feel right.
She tried to concentrate on Miyabi's gentle words about the soothing properties of having flowers around. She tried, but she couldn't. Renge's thoughts were elsewhere.
Kyoya looked so much like him, like her dearest Miyabi. He had the same face, the same voice, the same cold, calculating air. But there was a difference. Miyabi always showed kindness to Renge. Kyoya didn't.
That can't be right, she thought to herself. They were too similar. Kyoya was the real-life Miyabi, the only boy she hadever loved. The other characters had depth, character development, that made them all intriguing in their own ways, but they couldn't compare to him. Sure, the lonely prince was beautiful in his inner sadness. The twins had an indelible bond, yet there was rivalry and turmoil as well. The small, cruel boy had a certain allure, and the tall boy who followed his orders was wonderfully mysterious.
The only one she had never cared for was the poor honor student. The game marketers concentrated the least on him, not even putting his picture on the cover of the game, because they knew he was the least popular. He was exactly who he appeared to be, a character with no hidden persona. He was just an awkward boy who couldn't fit in and was always bullied. Deep down inside, he was just… himself.
Why was he different in real life? Why was Haruhi the exact image of the character, and yet someone else entirely?
Renge played through the scene, barely looking at the words. After she came to a point at which she could save, she turned off the game, flopped onto her bed, moved aside a Miyabi plushie she realized she was lying on, and stared at the ceiling.
Why was life such a confusing thing? You couldn't raise points or collect items that would help make you attractive. You never knew just what to say to people to win their hearts. There were all kinds of situations you had to deal with. People were changing all the time.
Video games… ah, they took knowledge. If you did the right thing at the right place at the right time, you were guaranteed to win. Since she cared more about character interactions than about gameplay (who didn't, in dating sims?), Renge had gone online to learn all the things necessary to get the best, most romantic ending with Miyabi. Of course, that was her first playthrough. By now she knew it all by heart.
Relationships in- oh, how she hated that phrase- "real life" were so much harder. Knowing the right things to do and say would never be enough. In preschool and the first parts of elementary school, she had tried to make friends with real, live humans. But most of what she knew about human interaction had come from the TV shows she had watched nonstop during the day since she was a toddler.
She learned early on that humans couldn't do things like walking on air until they realized they were, or hitting each other with anvils and not inflicting significant damage. But even if she got over cartoons quickly, it was harder to shake what she had learned from sitcoms. Everything always worked perfectly. No matter how rude you were, it would only be funny, not hurt anyone's feelings. At the end of the day, things wrapped themselves up neatly with no loose ends.
But when she tried acting like the people on TV- spontaneous and silly- the other kids just gave her funny looks. It was like they weren't characters in the same show that she was. She thought they were all boring.
At age ten, she discovered video games. They were beautiful. This was truly a masterpiece of technology! Renge immersed herself in that perfect world, a world in which she could be with all those wonderful characters. She loved RPGs, loved the feeling of being part of such an interesting, engaging adventure. She thought there would never be anything she could love more.
Then she discovered dating sims.
One day when she was 13, her father came into her room. He had just returned from a parent-teacher conference. "Renge," he said, "we need to talk about school."
She looked up from her game to glare at him. "Father, I'm in the middle of something important!"
He sighed. "Renge, your teachers have brought this up in the past, but I always thought you'd get over it. And I'm worried, too. This is about the fact that… well… socially speaking, you haven't made any progress since preschool. To put it bluntly, you don't have friends."
"Of course I have friends, Father," she said, irritated. She gestured at the screen.
He was silent for a moment. "And… you are truly happy with these friends?"
Renge nodded.
"I want you to be happy, Renge. If you really are… that's all that matters to me." He walked out the door. If she hadn't been concentrating on the game, she would have heard him sigh.
He never brought the subject up again.
"Real life" was a boring game. It was so hard she wanted to give up, and there were never any rewarding moments. Furthermore, the characters lacked depth. They were flat, uninteresting. Not at all the characters in her beloved Uki-Doki Memorial. Except for maybe the honor student, the simple boy with no secrets.
Haruhi…
Renge sat up in bed. Haruhi was interesting. He was polite, but not a wimp. He was smart, but unpretentious. And- she blushed slightly at the thought- he was very cute.
And Haruhi had said something about people, hadn't he? How getting to know them was the fun of it all. The thought excited her. Maybe that was the interesting part of life: it had truly enjoyable gameplay.
She pushed a button on the intercom on her wall and called the chauffeur.
The boy behind the counter looked at her, recognizing her as one of their regular customers. "Miss, you like… uh… that guy with the glasses from that one dating sim, right?"
"Miyabi," Renge said promptly.
"Yeah… um, we've got plushies and keychains of him still in stock, so you don't need to buy…" he gestured at what she had handed to him.
She shook her head. "No, I want to buy these today." She took out her wallet and handed him the right amount.
"Alright," he said, shrugging. She was notorious with the game shop's employees as "that crazy otaku," and it was odd to see her doing something outside of her normal, but who was he to turn down a paying customer?
Humming a happy tune, Renge skipped out of the shop, carrying a bag full of merchandise featuring the honor student character from Uki-Doki Memorial. Once home, she started a new file on her game, the first one ever in which her target was a boy other than Miyabi.
Even if it wasn't progress, it was the best that could be expected from her type of character.
