To TJ or not to TJ

Summary: Sandy and Kirsten in college. There's a TJ trip but they've just broken up and don't feel like going, what happens if their friends persuade them…

Disclaimer: If I owned the OC I'd have a yacht with a swimming pool on by now.

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I've got 60 minutes of internet access in Wales YAY! My debit card is masquerading as a credit card lol! So I thought I'd do some crazy posting up of stuff!

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Chapter Two

A couple of hours in and the journey is already getting wearing. You've sung along to the radio, fretted that you've forgotten several essential items and chattered aimlessly about college gossip, exams and the future. Now you're on a straight open road through the desert. It's empty, stretching away into the distance, the horizon shimmering. Everyone is too hot and you're driving slightly too fast with all the windows down in the hope of catching a breeze. You're driving because you don't plan on being sober enough to do it on the way back.

'I feel a DMC coming on,' your best friend declares from the front seat beside you. She ignores the pleading eyes you fix on her; a post-break-up analysis is the last thing you want right now, and launches straight in. 'So, any interesting boy-talk?'

'I think you might,' someone replies. 'I heard that you and Paul were sleeping together.'

You watch out the corner of your eye as your friend turns red. 'But that's nothing new,' you say, puzzled by her blushes.

'Ah,' the voice from the back seat explains, 'but this is serious, as in dating, not just fuckbuddying.'

'Really?' It's hard to keep your eyes on the road at such a revelation.

'Aw come on guys,' she moans, 'you knew I had to get tired of playing the field one day.'

'How come you never told me?' you ask and your friend looks uncomfortable.

'Well…uh, it's a pretty recent development and I felt…I don't know…you were busy dealing with all your stuff and, it's Sandy's friend. With you not being around their place it just…hasn't come up.'

'Just because we're not together any more doesn't mean you can't tell me that kind of thing even if it is Sandy's best mate.'

'I'm sorry.'

'It's not like you're dating Sandy…are any of you?' you ask, glancing into the backseat. The girls roll their eyes and offer a range of negative responses from offended or disgusted to slightly surprised and wistful.

'Would it matter?' your friend asks pointedly and you're forced to hurriedly backtrack.

'Uh…no, I just…I'd want to know and…he has just come out of a relationship and…'

'And you'd be jealous.'

'No!'

'What actually happened with you two?' someone asks the question you've been dreading.

'Yeah, one minute you're all over each other, the next you're refusing to come on this trip because he is.'

'That wasn't the reason.'

'Uhu. You're not giving us that bullshit Kirsten, we're your friends. Just tell us.'

'I don't know.'

'You don't know?'

'It just all happened so fast.'

'But why all of a sudden?'

You sigh. 'It wasn't that sudden. We just kept fighting…all the time.'

'You two are always fighting though. You do it instead of foreplay.'

'This was different.'

'Different how? Less make-up sex?'

'Try none. All the little things escalated and by last week it was too late.'

'You two were so perfect together. That can't just disappear.'

'Perfectly incompatible you mean. Maybe reality just caught up with us.'

'What made that fight so decisive? Why then?'

'It was bigger than usual, bitter. We were both stressed with exams…tired…basically I was pressing him about the holidays. About what happens now school is over for me.'

There was a chorus of understanding oh's.

'The long-term question huh, and he balked at it?'

'Pretty much.'

'Well Sandy Cohen has been pretty commitment-shy since the whole debacle with his previous ex.

'I know. It wasn't as if I was asking for a ring or anything crazy like that.'

'Guys are just paranoid.'

'All I wanted to know was if it meant anything more than the last six months. If I was meant to just forget him after graduation. He obviously thinks so.'

'Aw honey, maybe he just got scared.'

You shake your head. 'I barely even broached the subject and look what happened.'

'Sounds like you two need to talk.'

'No. We're done talking.'

'But…'

'No buts. He doesn't listen anyway.'

'So…um, what are you gonna do now? For the summer I mean.'

'I'm not sure. It wasn't just Berkeley I didn't want to leave but now…'

'You don't think he wants you to stay?'

'That's what it feels like. Why did I think I meant something to him? Why did I think he'd want me to stay and try to keep our flagging relationship alive any longer?'

'Because you wanted to.'

'Yeah and he didn't.'

'You don't know that.'

'It seems that way to me. Maybe I should just go home. Right now even Newport might be less depressing.'

'You can't let what he thinks shape your life,' someone points out.

'Why not? I was going to before wasn't I? If he'd said stay I would have done.'

'So stay anyway.'

'I don't know if I want to anymore.'

'Oh Kirsten.'

'I know, I'm sorry. That's just the way I feel.'

'Do you love him?' your best friend asks.

'What?' The question shakes you so much you jolt in your seat, the wheel twisting sharply. With our mind elsewhere you fail to react to the sharp bend up ahead and the skewed position of the car sends it straight off the road. The freeway is only a little built up yet things are rather hairy for several seconds as you skid sideways down the rocky slope, fighting to regain control.

It's all over as fast as it began; a muffled crash beneath the car and an ominous scraping and twisting noise mingling with screams before the car stops in the brush a little way from the road. There is silence, broken only by a strange metallic groan and the car sinks several inches.

'I think the answer is yes, she does love him.'

You head nervous laughter being expelled in relief as you drop your head onto the steering wheel and start to cry.

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