Chapter title;
Fred: In which Fred does not realize something, and Umbridge is featured
Sugarquill
Well, today's the first day of term. I'm writing this in Charms, as Professor Flitwick's just rambling on about the N.E.W.T.s, soI'll start from the beginning: breakfast. Actually, the day began shortly before breakfast. I kicked off my day with Angelina. Let me explain, see George and I were on our way to breakfast (discussing...workwhich reminds me, George and I put up an ad in the common room last night for people to test our Skiving Snack boxes. We're not sure if they'll work the same on everyone, so we need a variety of testers) when she came out of the Great Hall, practically skipping with glee.
"Hi, Fred!" she cried. I don't know why, but I could've sworn I felt my cheeks get warm.
George cleared his throat. Angelina jumped.
"Oh, hello George," she said, looking slightly sheepish. "Anyway, guess what?"
"What?" we asked at the same time.
"I've been made Quidditch captain!" She squealed.
"Excellent," said George, looking mildly surprised. We had thought Alicia would get it, but I was happy for Angelina regardless.
"Good work, Oliver," I said with a grin. She punched me in the arm. It didn't hurt though. But all of a sudden she switched to a more businesslike disposition.
"Tryouts for Keeper are on Friday, and make sure you can come," she said, putting particular emphasis on the last five words. Honestly, from the way she was talking, you'd think George and I were irresponsible or something. With that, she left, her braids bobbing behind her. I watched her walk away with...interest. I didn't really realize I was staring at her leaving until George screamed in my ear, "OY!" That made me jump. I shook myself a little to get rid of the feeling I had had moments ago. "Come on," I said to George, and we walked into the Great Hall.
Since Lee had already eaten breakfast (and smuggled a few pieces of toast into his pocket to munch on during Charms), we sat down with Ron, Harry and Hermione. Just as we were walking up, Ron was saying, "I wish Fred and George'd hurry up and get those Skiving Snackboxes sorted..." George grinned at me and we squeezed onto the bench next to Harry.
"Do mine ears deceive me?" I asked. "Hogwarts prefects surely don't wish to skive off lessons?"
"Look what we've got today," said Ron, handing me his schedule. "That's the worst Monday I've ever seen."
I scanned the schedule quickly. Ron wasn't joking: they had History of Magic, Double Potions, Divination, and double Defense Against the Dark Arts.
"Fair point, little bro," I said to him. "You can have a bit of Nosebleed Nougat cheap if you like."
"Why is it cheap?" Hey! He sounded suspicious. We're not criminals, for Merlin's sake! However, George begged to differ.
"Because you keep bleeding till you shrivel up," he said. "We haven't got an antidote yet.
Oh, yeah...
"Cheers," muttered Ron. "But I think I'll take the lessons."
"And speaking of your Skiving Snackboxes," said Hermione, "You can't advertise for testers on the Gryffindor notice board."
"Says who?" said George. He looked pretty surprised.
"Says me," she replied. I had to stifle a snort. "And Ron."
"Leave me out of it," said Ickle Ronnie. (HP2!)
Hermione probably looked daggers at him then, but I'll never know because George and I were too busy sniggering.
"You'll be singing a different tune soon enough, Hermione," I said to her while taking some food. "You're starting fifth year, you'll be begging us for a Snackbox before long."
"And why would starting fifth year mean I want a Skiving Snackbox?" she asked.
"Fifth year's O.W.L year," said George.
"So?" HA! So, she asks...
"So you've got your exams coming up haven't you?" I said with satisfaction. "They'll be keeping your noses so hard to that grindstone they'll be rubbed raw."
"Half our year had minor breakdowns coming up to O.W.L.s," said George with happy look on his face. "Tears and tantrums...Patricia Stimpson kept coming over faint..." The memory of dear old Trish passing out all over the place was enough to make the pumpkin juice I had been sipping come out of my nose. Of course, we had been sympathetic at the time, but as soon as she stopped fainting, George, Lee, and I had our fun...
"Kenneth Towler came out in boils, d'you remember?" I asked George.
"That's 'cause you put Bulbadox Powder in his pajamas," he reminded me.
"Oh yeah," I said with a grin. "I'd forgotten...hard to keep track sometimes, isn't it?"
"Anyway, it's a nightmare of a year, the fifth," said George. "If you care about exam results anyway. Fred and I managed to keep our spirits up somehow."
"Yeah...you got, what was it, three O.W.L.s each?"
"Yep," I said without a trace of concern. "But we feel our futures lie outside the world of academic achievement."
"We seriously debated whether we were going to bother coming back for our seventh year," said George. "Now that we've got"
But Harry gave him a warning look that cut him off. I can't believe he almost let it slip that Harry lent us money!
"-now that we've got our O.W.L.s," he said quickly. Whew. "I mean, do we really need N.E.W.T.s? But we didn't think Mum could take us leaving school early, not on top of Percy turning out to be the world's biggest prat."
"We're not going to waste our last year here, though," I said, looking around the Great Hall gleefully. "We're gong to use it to do a bit of market research, find out exactly what the average Hogwarts student requires from his joke shop, carefully evaluate the results of our research, and then produce the products to fit the demand."
"But where are you going to get the gold to start a joke shop?" Hermione asked. "You're going to need all the ingredients and materialsand premises too, I suppose..."
At that point Harry dropped his fork and dived under the tabled to get it.
"Ask us no questions and we'll tell you no lies, Hermione." I said. "C'mon, George, if we get there early we might be able to sell a few Extendable Ears before Herbology." With that, we each took a few pieces of toast and set off for the greenhouses.
Herbology wasn't real eventful, though Kenneth Towler accidentally slipped and fell backwards onto the Venomous Tentacula, which tried to swallow him whole. It got kind of aggressive after that, and when Angelina was walking by it, I just managed to spot the tentacles reaching out about a fraction of a second early, and I dove forward and sort of threw her to the ground.
Now, Defense Against the Dark Arts wasn't remotely eventful, but it's definitely something to talk about after. Apparently, the Ministry seems to have done away with practical lessons. Professor Umbridge says "If you know the theory then you'll be able to use the spell, though I can't imagine when you'll need it," George opened his mouth to speak, but Lee kicked us both before we could do anything. But really, I mean, we can't not practice spells then go out into the world (or the Order) and expect "Avada Kedavra!" to cause more than several weak sneezes in succession. I couldn't help but sneak a glance at Angelina when Umbridge was shoveling all this tosh onto us. She looked angry. I couldn't help but feel glad about that. At least she's on my side. Wait….why do I care? Ugh, I think the snackboxes are getting to me.
Properties of Doxy Venom
Seems to extend the effects of Fainting Fancies
Adds odor to Puking Pastilles
Possible antidote for Nosebleed Nougat (?) (Must try that out sometime within the week)
Adds color to Blood Blisterpods
On the whole, I like doxies.
Oops, must go; Angelina's conjuring charm just made a large box of chocolates appear on my table. Thanks, Angelina…
AN: Hello everybody, for those of you who are new, I (Tikvah Ariel) will be in italics, and Quidditchmoke is in bold. Hola. We wanted to thank those who reviewed, even if for some of youit was the second time they saw the chapter. The next chapter however will be re-written as it was on eof the four that we lost. Which we don't actually mind as much anymore because at first we were missing six.
Dark Hermit Kaelin: We don't have any sane guess as to why it was removed, what we do have tho ugh is a possiabilitly that strange aleins entered into the system and in hopes of destroying my advisory deleted our story. That, orUmbridge had something to do with it. BTW, we got 60 out of 50 on 4-1.
Nikki Weasley- Hello! Thankyou for leaving a review and pitying us, I too feel sorry for myself. As do I, but more for Tev, since three of the four we need are hers. Anyways, here is chapter three again. w00t
Jersey Princess- You left us two reviews! Yeass.Your so nice! Reviewing even after our story was taken down. Though revealing our plot in a review may not be the nicest thing if we gain new readers! tsk tsk Fred Alicia fics are okay, but I was never a fan of them. Eurgh. I never tried them before, and now that I'm part of a Fred/Angelina one, I couldn't possibly.
Quiddie15: Cool name...you can see why I think that. Thank you for joining our story, and if I ever find out who did this to me I will do everything in my power to get them banned and their stories deleted. And set Peeves on them, that's what I'll do. I saw from your profile that you are a big fan of Angelina! Well hopefully you'll like this story and our portrayal of her; we've been able to be really free about that and created a cool Ang. Also thanks for putting us on your favorite stories list. Ooh, double thanks!
Tidal Waves: Thaks for reviewing,I didn't see anything wrong with it either. Well, you know, except the orefect thing. Jersey Princess was right, though, it is hilarious this time over. Thanks for the review!