When Derek finally had a moment to compose himself he walked down to the waiting area to find Meredith. He knew instinctively that she was feeling the pressure of trying to keep it all together; the pressure of trying to do right by him and support everything that he was doing for Addison—and he loved her for it. She never complained, never judged, just did her best to be what he needed. Sometimes he would catch her crying and even though she would claim it was her hormones, he knew better and always wished that he could have turned back time.

Now he wouldn't have to.

Just as he thought, she was sitting on the couch reading a copy of Baby News magazine and eating an apple. Izzy and Denny were no where to be seen and he wondered if Callie had delivered already. He stopped in the doorway and leaned against the jamb. His eyes turned soft, dreamy, as he took the chance to look at her unabashed and natural. Her golden hair hung over halfway down her back now, its texture softer and shinier due to her pregnancy. She looked absolutely beautiful in her gown. She'd only gained thirty pounds and carried it low. Unless seen from the front, one would never know that she was with child. He grinned as he watched her lips form a small smile. She was touched by something she had read.

How wonderful to know the smallest details about the person you love; How wonderful for you, for them. He stood there for a full minute, grinning from ear to ear. They were going to have the dream life that they'd always wanted! They could finally start living separate lives from Addison and it felt so good he wanted to jump up and down.

She looked up and smiled anxiously, a smile that didn't reach her eyes when she saw the happy look on his face. Knowing that it wasn't fair, she felt bad. He'd just experienced the birth of his first child and even though the circumstances hadn't allowed it to be her child, she knew it was wrong to be jealous and upset—but she found it extremely hard.

"Hi there."

"Hi."

"Where's Iz and Denny?"

"They went home." She answered. "Callie delivered an hour ago."

"What did she have?"

"A little girl. She's so gorgeous!" Meredith answered, a genuine smile this time, for she was so happy for her friends.

"What'd they call her?"

"Amelia Torres O'Malley."

"Nice name."

"I think so." She answered, grateful for the small talk—The two stared at each other uncomfortably. He, was trying to gather his courage to tell her the biggest news of both of their lives and she was trying to make herself be happy for him, for his new baby.

"You look beautiful sitting there." He complimented, coming into the room, watching her carefully.

"No I don't. I look fat." She corrected.

"You're not fat." He countered. "You are the most beautiful women I've ever known and I'll love you forever." He said lightly.

From one look into her eyes Derek knew she was being torn to shreds. She went to stand, but he shook his head and sat down beside her and gathered her into a hug.

"Derek, what's wrong?" She asked, scared and half annoyed that he was looking so happy and relieved. "Is the baby okay?"

"Nothing's wrong." He answered, holding on as tightly as he could. "Nothing at all. And the baby is perfect. You should see her. She's beautiful."

It stung—the words that came so easily and words that were probably very true, still they pierced her like a tiny arrow to her heart. And if she wanted to be realistic, she knew that those arrows would somehow be finding their way into her heart for the rest of her life in one form or another. She drew back expectantly, her blue eyes wide—for this was a new attitude for Derek. She couldn't blame him for it; He'd finally seen his child in the flesh, of course it had to change the feelings he had. "So, what did she name her?"

"Vivian."

Meredith looked down at her hands. "It's a very nice name. Did you help? Pick the name, I mean?"

He saw how much she was hurting and shook his head. "No. I didn't pick it out. Vivian is her mother's name." He grabbed onto her hands and squeezed hard. "Mer, I've got something to tell you and it's going to change everything—"

She ignored him as if he hadn't spoken and pulled her hands from his—for she had to get some things off of her chest. She was feeling tired, wrung out and just plain miserable. "What's her middle name?"

"Leigh."

Her eyes snapped up to meet his. "Leigh? As in your mother's name?"

He sighed. "Addison and my mother have always been close." He rubbed his hand over the stubble on his cheek. "But Meredith, when I tell you the news you'll—"

"What's her last name?" Tears welled up in her eyes. "Does she have your last name?"

"No. She's a Montgomery." He answered. "But you really need to know----"

"Derek—this is hard." She began, her lips trembling. "This is really hard for me to see how excited you are about your new daughter and I'm trying here—I'm really trying—but it kills me to see how happy you are—and what if you forget about us? What if you don't love me and the baby the way you are going to love Vivian? What if----"

He reached up and cupped her face with his hands. "Oh Mer–" He shook his head and leaned in and kissed her on the mouth. "Baby, don't ever think that! Don't ever say that again. You and this baby are all that matters to me. Nothing else will ever take your place."

"What about Vivian? You just said—"

"I know what I said and it's true. She is beautiful. But you don't know—" He struggled with the right words to tell her. It was somehow harder than he'd thought it would be. In his minds eye he'd seen himself running down the corridor shouting 'she's not mine! She's not mine'.

"What is it?" She asked, suddenly realizing that there was something else going on.

"I don't really know how to say it so I'm just going to say it."

"So..." She questioned. "What is it?" Her face fell. "Is it twins? Don't tell me it's twins...or triplets."

"No. It wouldn't matter if she'd had ten babies Mer." He grinned at her, two tears coming to shine in the corner of his eye.

"Why not?"

"Because that baby isn't mine."

She drew back, shocked. "What do you mean?"

"I'm not her father."

"What—""

"Meredith----Vivian is not my child." He shook his head, wondering why she wasn't more excited. "Don't you get it? She's not mine!"

"How do you know that? Is that what Addison told you?" It seemed like a dream. Maybe it was a dream; Maybe she would wake up in bed and none of it would have happened. Not Derek's baby? How many times had she prayed for it? Wished for it?

"She didn't have to tell me anything. I saw for myself."

"Saw what?"

"Mer, she's African American----she's gorgeous, don't get me wrong...she's one of the most beautiful newborns I've ever seen...but she's not mine."

She couldn't help it—so many emotions ran through her brain. Not his! Not his! She began to cry, so many tears with so many names; Happiness, relief, shock, and finally, peacefulness.

Everything was going to be just fine.