He's mad. He's absolutely raving mad. Starkers. And I couldn't be more proud!
Yes…I'll explain, shall I? Our darling brother Ronald the Prefect is breaking rules. Rebelling against the management, to be exact. He, Harry, and Hermione formed an illegal defense society today in Hogsmeade. Harry's going to teach us practical defensive spells right under Umbridge's stupid green nose. Here's how it happened, and I thank my quill for helping me record the entire event:
George, Lee, and I started out the Hogsmeade day in Zonko's. They got a new product now…Mini-Booms. Great invention, horrible name. They're long, metal sticks and when you stick them somewhere and press down hard on the end with your thumb, they explode. Not huge explosions, just big enough to break open a lock or make a person dizzy for a good half hour. We bought several in case we run out. I decided to talk to George while he was absorbed in this.
"Erm…George," I said casually. "What's going on with you and Angelina?"
"Huh?" he asked. "Oh, nothing. Lee says she's flirting with me though, and so does Alicia even though she was more secretive about telling me." Aha! I knew it.
"Interesting," I said. "So…she fancies you?"
"I dunno," said George, looking up from a box of Bulbadox Powder. "I never thought she did, but she might unless the three of them are playing some sort of joke on us."
"We've finally had a positive influence on them," I said with a sigh and Lee sniggered, emerging from behind the display of Mini-Booms. "Anyway, do you fancy her?"
"What?" said George, looking both disgusted and shocked. "No, I mean…I like her as a friend and all…but fancy her? No, there's absolutely no way."
"You make it sound like fancying her is a bad thing," said Lee in a mock hurt voice. We laughed; Lee had fancied Angelina in a joking sort of way in our third year and had continued it as a charade to tease her through the next four years.
"Why do you care anyway?" asked Lee.
Now this, I must say, had never occurred to me. I really didn't know why I cared…
"I know why he cares," said George suddenly, his mouth slightly open. "Fred…you fancy Angelina, don't you?"
My jaw dropped. Me? Fancy Angelina? But…somehow even though the thought seemed unimaginably far-fetched, I couldn't bring myself to object out loud.
"I…no, I…I couldn't…" That was all I could manage. George and Lee grinned.
"I knew it," said Lee. "Bet you feel like reliving the Yule Ball now, eh?"
"Shut up," I mumbled. "Look, you two've got to swear you won't let it stray beyond our trio, got it? If it was such a shock to me that I fancy Angelina, imagine how awful it'd be if anyone else found out."
We met in the Hog's Head, so we were pretty much the only people there. The barman seemed about ready for a heart attack.
"Hi," I said to him, counting all the other people Harry had invited. "Could we have….twenty-five butterbeers, please?"
He looked pretty irritated but he passed them up anyway.
"Cheers," I said, examining the dust coating the bottles. "Cough up, everyone, I haven't got enough gold for all of these…"
We sipped our butterbeers gingerly while congregating around Harry, Ron, and Hermione. Some people sat at tables but the rest stood up where they were. From the look of it, George, Lee, Trish, Alicia, Angelina and I are the only seventh years in Harry's little group. Oh, well. Ah, yes, and I must mention that because Angelina is so firmly ignoring me and simply worshipping George, I've decided to do the same. I didn't even look at her this evening, and I refuse to.
Hermione started off the meeting by talking about the Defense we were going to learn. Someone asked her about the O.W.L.s and she said, "But I want more than that, I want to be properly trained in Defense because…because…because Lord Voldemort's back."
George and I jumped. Ron gave and odd convulsive shiver and this one girl screamed and spilled butterbeer all over herself. Too bad, because I wasn't buying anymore. Someone…I think it was Neville…yelled and turned it into a cough. But once they all got a hold of themselves they were looking at Harry.
"Well…that's the plan anyway," said Hermione. "If you want to join us, we need to decide how we're going to —"
"Where's the proof You-Know-Who's back?" said a blonde Hufflepuff girl who looked about Ron's age. Honestly, these people. I mean, even if Harry and Dumbledore were lying, and the Order was an urban myth, why not go along with it and be safe rather than sorry? Wow, you know I don't believe I've ever said that before. But this calls for it, I'd say.
"Well, Dumbledore believes it —" began Hermione, but this little blonde Ravenclaw cut her off.
"You mean, Dumbledore believes him," said the kid.
"Who are you?" said Ron rudely. That's my brother!
"Zacharias Smith," said the boy. The name says it all, actually. "And I think we've got the right to know exactly what makes him say You-Know-Who is back."
"Look," said Hermione. "that's really not what this meeting was supposed to be about —"
"It's okay, Hermione," said Harry quietly. "What make me say You-Know-Who's back?" he asked, staring down Zacharias Smith. "I saw him. But Dumbledore told the whole school what happened last year, and if you didn't believe him, you don't believe me, and I'm not wasting an afternoon trying to convince anyone."
Bravo! That was excellent, even the barman listened. But that didn't mean much to old Zacharias, now did it?
"All Dumbledore told us last year was that Cedric Diggory's got killed by You-Know-Who and that you brought Diggory's body back to Hogwarts. He didn't give us details, he didn't tell us exactly how Diggory got murdered, I think we'd all like to know —"
"If you've come to hear exactly what it looks like when Voldemort murders someone I can't help you," said Harry. He kept glaring at Zacharias. "I don't want to talk about Cedric Diggory, all right? So if that's what you're here for, you might as well clear out."
Really, that nosey little spitfire thinking this is all something to take lightly…I could thump him hard, I could…
"So," repeated Hermione squeakily. "So..like I was saying…if you want to learn some defense, then we need to work out how we're going to do it, how foten we're going to meet, and where we're going to —"
Then some Hufflepuff asked Harry about his Patronus. We had a little fun with that…
"So—is it really true? You make a stag Patronus?"
"Yes," said Harry.
"Blimey, Harry!" cried Lee, making George jump. "I never knew that!"
"Mum told Ron not to spread it around," I said, grinning at Harry. "She said you got enough attention as it was."
"She's not wrong," muttered Harry.
We must've passed a good five minutes after that discussing all the amazing things Harry's done. And then, modest git that he is, he started talking about how he had help with all of it. Then, dearest Zacharias Smith had to poke his nose in.
"Are you trying to weasel out of showing us any of this stuff?" he asked. You know, if he doesn't shut his mouth that wart may wake up tomorrow morning missing several body parts he may be needing.
"Here's an idea," said Ron loudly. "why don't you shut your mouth?"
"Well, we've all turned up to learn from him, and now he's telling us he can't really do any of it," he said.
"That's not what he said," I snarled.
"Would you like us to clean out your ears for you?" inquired George pulling one of the Mini-Booms out of the Zonko's bag.
"Or any part of your body, really, we're not fussy where we stick this," I added.
"Yes, well," Hermione seemed to be getting a little hysterical. "moving on…the point is, are we agreed we want to take lessons from Harry?"
Everyone murmured in agreement and Zacharias shifted uneasily. (George was still brandishing the Mini-Boom at him)
"Right," said Hermione looking incredibly relieved. "Well, then, the next question is how often we do it. I really don't thihnk there's any point in meeting less than once a week —"
"Hang on," said Angelina. "we need to make sure this doesn't clash with our Quidditch practice." Okay, so I lied. I did look at her. But you can't not look at someone who speaks in a room of thirty people!
"No," said Cho Chang. "nor with ours."
"Nor ours," said Zacharias. George pointed the Mini-Boom at him yet again and he backed down.
"I'm sure we can find a night that suits everyone," said Hermione, slightly impatiently, "but you know, this is rather important, we're talking about learning to defend ourselves against V-Voldemort's Death Eaters —"
"Well said!" cried Ernie Macmillan, making us jump yet again. "Personally I think this is really important, possibly more important than anything else we'll do this year, even with our O.W.L.s coming up!"
George and I exchanged glances. To this day we don't understand why everyone makes such a massively big deal about their O.W.L.s.
Anyway, then Hermione said that she thinks Umbridge is afraid Dumbledore's going to use all us students as his own private army against the Ministry. Not only were we stunned, but George and I laughed out loud. Lee laughed, too, then looked a bit uneasy after Luna Lovegood said that Conrelius Fudge has a private army of heliopaths. Apparently they're spirits of fire that gallop around burning everything in front of them. Blimey, I'd like to buy one of those at Zonko's. She and Hermione got into this heated argument about it, and Ginny broke it up with an ingenious little, "Hem, hem," just like Umbridge's. First Bat-Bogey Hexes and now imitating voices? At least someone in the family's going to follow after me and George.
The finale of the meeting was what George, Lee, and I now call "The Signing of the Parchment". It's quite self-explanatory, but Hermione pulled out this piece of parchment and asked us to sign it as an agreement of secrecy. I was first up to sign, cheerfully writing my loop-the-loop-y Weasley signature. It looks just like George's, except that, well…his says George. The last person to sign the agreement was Zacharias, but the point is that he did.
"Well, time's ticking on," I said briskly as I got up. "George, Lee, and I have got items of a sensitive nature to purchase, we'll be seeing you all later."
I may have forgotten to mention that…we found a man who'll sell us Puffskein fur. Since Puffskeins like sticking their tongues up people's noses and licking their bogies, we figured that their fur in the purple end of the Nosebleed Nougat should help stem the flow at the end by sucking it all out. It was my idea, and we've tested it and it works, too. So, we were off to the Shrieking Shack to find the man — whom they call 'Bottomless Pit' because the contents and the pockets of his coat never seem to end — and buy a Puffskein off of him. Well, actually, we're going to offer him the same a little extra money if he plucks a little fur himself and sends it to us. The Puffskein won't miss it; they can grow their fur back in three seconds. Anyway, Bottomless Pit agreed, and we perfected the Nougat before bed. It's been a tiring day, all in all, and I'm happy to turn in for the night. We're looking forward to our lovely little illegal group, and if Zacharias doesn't want to be a part of it…he'll just have to risk his bogies to our newly named Puffskein — Argus.
Authors' Note: We will delay reviewer responses seeing as I am heading to vacation and just really wanted to post this chapter before I left on vacation for five days, sans computer. Sorry!