Pumpkin Juice
December 11th
Christmas is about two weeks away, and my dearest friends better get me good presents because they all forgot my birthday. Not to sound greedy and money hungry or anything, I simply feel that I deserve a reward for providing them with my kookiness and dealing with their insanity, while having to cope with my own. A simple and fair concept.
I have continued receiving letters from that…person, all in my diary which has scared me to write in it. Although, it's not as if whoever snuck it in and read everything doesn't already know my pathetic little secrets.
I have been acting oddly lately, striking fear in the hearts of common room loafers. Apparently, me opening my own detective agency doesn't work. I can't find any information on surveillance charms, and Madam Pince won't help me. Trish won't either saying it invades her privacy. Anyways, whenever I am at the library, or questioning suspects — the letters come! Leading me to think the mysterious Gryffindor has some surveillance on me. Not that hard though, since I make my intentions clear.
The letters themselves are really weird though; whoever is writing them is obviously not a romantic. It's trying to be mushy, but it's so reserved and formal that it's pathetic. So now the prankster doesn't even have creative talent. If anything, I've received mild amusement from these letters, and feel I should watch a Muggle soap opera with this person to see how well they mock it.
At one point, Trish seemed to get very aggravated with me and sent my mind reeling once more:
"Ang, you yourself said it to me; it's a Gryffindor, and it's a boy! So, THINK ABOUT IT! What Gryffindor boy do you know that could come into the dormitory, knows what your diary looks like, and plays stupid pranks?"
After the moment it took me to register what she'd just implied, I nearly fell over from shock. I did sway on the spot a bit, which impressed upon me the full weight of my emotional potential.
"I — it — he — no…"
That's actually what I said. I, Angelina Johnson…a Stutterer. I know, the horror and self pity I pile on myself. And moreover, I was stuttering about Fred Weasley! Which just makes matters worse.
What followed was a whole minute in which I felt shocked, dismayed, betrayed, confused, humbled, curious, happy, sad, and finally, angry. The anger made me realize that the joke was too cruel, and that perhaps even the likes of Fred and his twin, bless them, would not sink to this level. Fred might've even found out that I fancy — ahem, fancied him, and thought this was something I'd find funny! Fueled by rage, I continued to interrogate all who strayed across my path.
So far, my 'interviewing suspects' stage have gone like this:
"Where were you the night of the Unthinkable?"
"Angelina, I know losing Quidditch members was hard on you, but you have to stop calling it that."
"Quiet Katie, I found replacements and they are horrific, and you know it! Well, not all of them, that Ginny Weasley has potential, if she could just — FOCUS ON THE ISSUE, KATIE! Where were you?"
"Well, I was playing Quidditch, and then I sulked in the common room with my former teammates for a good while."
"Have you been writing any letters?"
"To my family, yes. To you, no. Can you stop using your wand to shine light in my face, I'll go blind."
"Do you know of anyone who has been plotting against me?"
"For the last time Angelina, no. Why don't you write this person back a letter and stop bothering me? I have potions homework to do."
So, after many successful interviews like that, I choose to write this "Secret Admirer" a stern letter explaining to them why I do not appreciate the trouble this is causing upon my already hectic life. I'm putting the copy in here, I wrote it out all pretty to, using Gryffindor colors to, just to spite them.
Dear stalker -
That's right, stalker. How else can it be explained how you know where I am at all times – and how else can you explain the fact that you have been raiding my diary to write jokes of letter? I mean really, it's slightly offensive of how much insane joy you must be getting in this twisted cat and mouse game.
If you hypothetically really did like me, you would meet me in person. But since you're a psychopath that obviously isn't the most advised course of action. Instead, I would like you to stop sending me these letters, as you obviously know (you are my stalker after all) I have a very stressful life. It is a week until break and, as you know, I haven't seen my family in a while. Also, it's no easier with N.E.W.T.s approaching and homework piling. A certain toad of a teacher had imposed several difficult measures for me, and my life will continue to get more hectic.
Thank you for your consideration to tease me in an attempt to distract me, please refrain from in the future.
Sincerely;
Angelina, who doesn't like being admired
December 18th, very late at night
Three days ago Fred and George and the whole Weasley gang left suddenly. Harry went as well. It was at night, so I didn't know till morning. George told Alicia who told me that their father was attacked and is recovering slowly but steadily.
It's just so disconcerting, really brings Voldemort things into perspective. I mean, Mr. Weasley is an excellent man and a pure blood, I'm just a muggle born witch. Who is more in danger? Obvious answer there. It sounds bad to think of myself, but it's true.
I'm dead worried for the Weasley twins, despite their pranks they can be emotional, and something like this has got to be hardwearing on them. I sent both of them owls telling them how sorry I was and if I could do anything, but haven't got a reply.
I just feel sad that they are having a horrific time and I'm happy.
Today is the first day of holidays, which is why I'm in my room at home, not at Hogwarts. Before I left though, my secret admirer did respond to my letter. Apparently, my stern letter writing technique didn't frighten them off; it appeared to have encouraged them. Kind of psychotic now that I reflect, but determined and sweet.
Anyways, I met him (it is a him, I suppose interviewing Ginny, Katie, Alicia, Trish, Lavender, Hermione, Parvati, and a whole load of second year girls was useless) in the hallway in the third floor by his request. It was very nice actually. He even brought me flowers (as an apology to freaking me out.)
So, who is it?
Andrew Rimmer.
I know, I too was shocked! Which is probably why I couldn't even begin to write in here at the time, let alone find my quill. I mean, the boy hadn't talked to me much before, and I thought it was Trish he was actually interested in, but I guess not. At the time I was rather suspicious though, as well as accusing.
"Andrew…Andrew? It's…it's you! You're the fiendish prankster that broke into my diary!" My eyes must've been close to popping out of my head, half from shock, and half from the anger that had previously been directed at a nameless and faceless stalker.
Andrew looked quite taken aback. "Wha — no!" he cried, interpreting my expression. "No, no, I never read your diary Angelina, I promise. I had Trish deliver the notes, and though she refused point-blank at first, she finally did and said that the only place you were guaranteed to notice something out of the ordinary was your diary. She just wedged them in between the pages without opening it. I wrote the notes, though, and I want you to know that I really did mean what I said, even if the wording wasn't at its best. I like you Angelina, and…and I'd like you to be my girlfriend."
After this rather blunt emotional statement the rest is somewhat a blur, but once I'd finished blinking stupidly for a while I was able to say "Fine. I mean — no, that didn't sound good — sure! I'd be happy to have you as a boyfriend, Andrew."
Anyway, we are officially an 'item' and I must admit that I'm really rather thrilled by the prospect. At first I was ashamed at the hypocrisy my excessive happiness seemed to contain, but given the madness my social life has endured in the past few months, I decided I've earned the right to a little giggling.
SoI was all feeling thrilled and giddy, and then, I felt guilty. I mean, the Weasleys and Harry are going through a tough time, and here I am dating. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't break up with Rimmer over this, I'm simply saying the irony, while not unappreciated, is somewhat ill-timed and cruel. Sad, really.
I mean, it's not sad because I'm happy — wait…yes it is. I can't even keep this all straight myself, all I know is I'm mixing teenage drama with severely shaken friends. Clearly I what I need is some form of redemption, something kind and understanding, concerned, sympathetic, yet characteristic of me and — ooh! A LETTER! How brilliant those are.
Right, I'm off to go sneak past Anna's (my sister) room, and send off my owl. My family will never know! MWHAHAHAHA. Unless I laugh like a lunatic, in which case someone is bound to wake up.
Authors' Note; Alright, so we've had our long disappearance and the blame lies solely on me. :gasp: That's right, I'm admitting to it. From now on Braids and Boils is going to pick up the pace, and my other fanfictions will be discontinued. It was a sad day when I found out too guys, and you can try to persuade her, but there's little hope she'll listen to reason. This chapter was probably our most co-written yet as I added all the dialogue scenes except for Katie's as well as all too numerous embellishments in between. But don't worry, Tev wrote the rest, and all angrysarcasticAngelinahumor credit goes solely to her, as does credit for the note, which made me grin.
So, you've all found out who the secret admirer is, and I am happy to say none of you guessed it in your review. So HA! HA HA! Well, Rimmer is in for a ride. :throws hands up in the air and shrieks in fright at the top of her lungs:
Review please, I miss all the reviews. AND SO DO I! I haven't seen one for weeks, months even…make our day, guys! Oh, and since you are all faithful Braids and Boils readers, you really should search for A Wizard's Guide to Fanfiction, another result of our co-writing and giddy IM conversations. Truly giddy; I went to bed at 1:30 A.M. last night, and I think we'd started talking at midnight or something. Since it has been a long break, as a reminder it is Tikvah Ariel in italics, and desipoplover13 QuidditchMoke! (methinks Tev is still in denial over that) in bold.
Jersey Princess; Glad you love it, which part did you enjoy most? Insanity, madness, chaos…it's all the same, right? Fred is a little physco at time, but we must make allowances for that. On behalf of Fred I thank you.
MyPreciousss188; Thanks for reviewing! It is always to nice to read a romantic fluffy now and again, and grin non-stop for hours :cough: HBP:cough: and I'm glad you like me and Proma's writing styles. We try to please. And when we hear that we have, it feels awesome. The humor part I mostly credit to Proma, I like to consider myself for the angry sarcastic humor part. Couldn't've said it better myself.
Dark Hermit Kaelin; The ninth graders, Wombold. You get my drift. I hope that you enjoyed the paperclip bit last chapter. … I know, I enjoyed the pathetic ness of Fred's life as well, makes mine seem better. And mine, especially since I've just sat at home rotting for two weeks since we got back from England. It's times like this that I almost wish I had a sport or something to do in the backyard…but note the word 'almost'. I suppose Wombold and Umbridge are similar, but its like an apple and orange, there both fruit and can be made into juices, but they are different. Excellent simile, I'm using that!
Venus725; I'm sorry your confuzled, when its all done I'll have Proma e-mail you the timeline and our brainstorming sessions so you can understand it all. That, and they're quite cool. Insane, but cool. I too get confused, which is why I wrote the timeline. And why I saved the brainstorming sessions. Glad your still reading though! Pirates! OMG I completely forgot about that fic…must check for updates during one of my monotonous and lethargic spells this week…
Funny Cide; Thanks for the compliments, sorry for the long update wait, and you are just in denial about the muskrats. By this time you are probably out of school, if it helps I start on the seventh. Myeh, I start in TWO DAYS! Somehow I feel I haven't quite taken advantage of Fanfiction Season A.K.A. summer as well as I could have. Darn. Blah, anyway, thanks and keep reviewing!
The Mysterious M; Umbridge made me mad too, although her character brought something to the series, and that new teacher in Prince annoyed me more. I hate Umbridge, but I love the effect she has on everyone. That feeling of everyone in the school, from Harry to Snape (pretend the Inquisitorial Squad doesn't exist) united against a common goal: EAT DUNG, UMBRIDGE! I love all the rebelling, be it from the teachers or students, the twins or Peeves. But yes, I agree with you, Slughorn was quite annoying. Odd, yes, but that's the way the world spins. You said you knew who broke into her diary, still think your right? Don't pass out, I want you to feel good enough to review! Yes, I sent you an email, but we just couldn't wait to post so you better be honest! I've got a cyber Secrecy Sensor!
Moonbugg; Yes, I loved the bin thing too. Looking back I guess I could've made it "Only Weasleys can call the Burrow a bin!", but it just doesn't have the same effect, you know? I agree, I probably could've emphasized his anger towards Malfoy more, but I kind of felt that that was very in-the-moment. Not to say that the anger left him, but it was at its peak when Malfoy was speaking, and after the fight, all any of them could really feel was bitterness and numb disbelief. The paperclip bit was for Dark Hermit Kaelin, whom I know in real life. Blame her for its randomness. I can work in some requests. I need to go back and read this paperclip bit; it's popping up everywhere! I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter, I liked it as well. :feels special: Freds' other emotional sides haven't much been explored, but with what is happening with his dad soon (you have read OotP, it isn't a spoiler), we will see a more versatile him I expect. You expect…correct. But of course, only I know his true thoughts…MWAHAHAA! I love good sized reviews! Me too, because then we get to rant and have good-sized responses! Ridiculous sized, really, but whatever. I said what I said.
Nikki; Glad your loving the story! I hope you enjoy this chapter as well. Ditto over here…GYAH! I need to beta your story! Good lord, I'm horrible, you can get a new beta if you want because this is just dismal.
Silver-pensieve; My apologies for the long wait for an update, hopefully this chapter makes up for it. Glad you like it though, and thanks for the cherry!