Chapter 12: McKinley's Got Talent

April 1984

Music: Queen "We Will Rock You"

The crowds were filling the auditorium for the annual McKinley High Spring Talent Show. Bill and Cindy ran into Sam, Maureen, and Neal outside of the entrance to the projection room. Bill and Sam would be running lights and sound for the show, while Cindy would be the emcee. Neal was one of the acts.

Cindy looked at the suitcase next to Neal, "Is Morty in there?"

It sounded like somebody was banging on the inside of the box, while a muffled voice cried, "Let me out, let me out!" Neal had been practicing ventriloquism for years.

Bill said, "That dummy gives me the creeps."

The suitcase quipped in a muffled voice, "That's funny, Cindy was saying the same thing about you last night."

Everybody laughed, except Bill. And when the geek turned jock glared at the case instead of Neal, everybody started laughing harder.

Cindy then said, "OH! We have news."

The other three looked nervous. When a high school couple said they had news, it usually meant that they were going to be more than just two.

Cindy then gushed, "I got into Stanford. Yes, Princeton was my first choice, but Stanford has a great pre-law and law school. It will also look good when I run for senate."

Neal said, without too much enthusiasm, "Oh that's just great."

Bill added, "And I accepted an basketball scholarship to UC Berkeley. I have a feeling Mr. Rosso's recommendation helped me get in. That way Cindy and I can be close and visit on weekends and some evenings."

Neal whined, "Oh how wonderful. I can't believe this."

Cindy finally told Neal, "I'm sorry you didn't get into a good school, but that's no reason to be a killjoy when we give out good news. What cow college accepted you anyway?"

Neal moaned, "Stanford University. I originally was going to go to UM, but my dad reminded me a big name school would help me get into a good medical school. I figured, what the hell, I'd go to California and get away from my family and start over fresh."

Sam and Maureen laughed at the idea of Neal and Cindy going to college together, with Bill Haverchuck popping in. Soon the other three joined in.

Cindy asked Sam, "Did you get into film school?"

Sam said, "Yes, University of Michigan. It wasn't my top choice, but I listened to Rosso and had a couple back ups. This way I can get my film degree without coming out of college under a mountain of debt."

Maureen added. "And I'm going to study science education at UM. Somebody's got to keep girls interested in science."

Neal observed, "Sam and Maureen are going to college together," which got an "awwe" from Bill and Cindy.

Ken, Amy, Millie, and Lindsay were just arriving in a borrowed car from UM. They definitely didn't want to miss the talent show. As they were walking up to the auditorium Ken started singing, "Off we go, into the wild blue yonder…" Up ahead was Nick Andopolis in his Air Force blues.

Lindsay said, "Hey Nick, out here scoping out new recruits?"

Nick replied, "Nah, I'm not recruiting anymore. I just figured I'd come to the old school one more time before I ship out."

Ken asked, "Where they sending you now, Beirut?"

Nick laughed, "Close. Texas for four months of Air Force band school."

Lindsay's exclaimed, "You made it in the band! Congratulations!"

Amy added, "Yeah, Nick congratulations." Millie also gave her congratulations.

Nick said, "Thanks, and thanks for helping me Amy. My dad wasn't thrilled about the band idea at first, but then he said 'at least you'll still be in the Air Force.' I did feel some vindication for all those years I spent practicing the drums while my dad said it was a waste of time."

Mr. Rosso came up and said, "Well here's a blast from the past. Keeping up with those drums, Nick?"

Nick replied, "I'm going to be in the Air Force Band, Mr. Rosso!"

Rosso said, "Outstanding, now we have two musicians and two political science majors in the gang."

Ken said, "Actually, I switched to finance last year. No money in poli sci."

Lindsay said, "And I'm going to major in Environmental Science."

Rosso seemed disappointed, and seemed to notice Millie for the first time, telling her, "Let me know when you're ready to do your student teaching, Millie.

Millie replied, "Sure thing Mr. Rosso." The five friends laughed and went in to find their seats.

Music: Pink Floyd "In the Flesh."

The talent show went smoothly. Sam and Bill were right on the sound and light cues. Neal's ventriloquism act went off without a hitch. A few minutes after Neal's act was over while the fifth garage band for the evening was on, there was a knock at the projection room door.

Sam said, "Bill I have my hands full, go get the door."

Bill was surprised to see it was Neal. Bill asked, "What are you doing here?"

Neal said, "Cindy sent me up here. Her highness wants you right away."

Bill protested, "But I'm busy here."

Neal said, "That's probably why she sent me to get you, so I can cover. Dude, she's your girlfriend."

Bill practically ran out of the room. Shortly after he left, there was another knock on the door. Sam answered it. It was Maureen.

Sam asked, "Do you have it."

Maureen smiled and produced a Super 8 film reel. Sam took the cover off the projector in the room. Underneath was the Super 8 projector he and Neal had swapped for the school's 16 mm earlier in the day. While Sam loaded the film, Maureen locked the door.

Bill came up to Cindy, "You needed me?" He asked breathlessly.

Cindy replied to a confused Bill, "No, and I'm about to go back on."

Cindy walked on stage and addressed the audience, "Now that's all of our acts. Please remain seated while the jud."

In the booth Sam ordered, "Cut stage mikes."

In his Captain Kirk voice, Neal said, "You have control of the ship."

In a microphone from the booth, Sam announced, "Do not attempt to adjust your microphone, we have control of the assembly."

Jean Weir asked, "Is that Sam?"

Harold replied, "What is he up to now."

Sam continued, "We can control the light, making it from pitch black," On cue, Maureen hit all the house lights, Sam went on amongst audience whistles, "Or make it bright as day." Maureen flipped every switch she could see. They could hear people yelling all the way from the front row.

Cindy told Bill, "Stop them."

Bill said, "Sam has the key to the room. They have control over pretty much everything from up there." Cindy gave Bill a look and he went running to the projection room.

Sam kept to his script, "We control sound, and can make it a soft whisper, or a loud shout." People were holding their ears after the last part.

Sam completed his monologue, "So sit back, relax, and for the next few minutes enjoy the awe and mystery that is McKinley High School"

At that, Sam started the movie projector. The film started out at basketball practice. It showed cheerleaders and players. Sam's narration of the film said, "We have a message for the beautiful people of the world. The jocks, the cheerleaders…" The focus then went away from practice to bully turned burnout Alan White and friends, and the music switched to Van Halen. The narration continued, "There's a lot more us than there are of you. The freaks, the geeks, the nerds, the burnouts. We are the real students of McKinley High."

That line received an unexpected round of applause. Along with the applause, Sam, Neal and Maureen could hear Ball banging on the door to the Projection room.

The film then showed spring picture day, where indeed the 'beautiful people' were in the minority. The song playing on the soundtrack was Joan Jett's "Bad Reputation." Credits read 'Freaks and Geeks: a film by Sam Weir The film showed people showing frustration using various forms of technology to the tune of Styx's "Mr. Roboto."The narration continued, "Without us, you wouldn't be able to turn on a VCR or use make sense of your computers." The shot then went to a freak garage band, "Without us, your music would consist of Debbie Gibson and Tiffany." The next scene was of Model UN, and the narration concluded with, "We are the future, we are the champions." And the soundtrack played, of course, Queen's "We are the Champions."

Sam got back on the projection room mike and said, "We now return control of this assembly back to you, until the next time the control voice takes you back to… reality."

What happened next surprised everybody, Sam most of all. The crowd gave the film a standing ovation.

Maureen kissed her boyfriend and said, "Sammy, sweetie that was awesome!"

Neal shook Sam's hand, "And said, I'm not going to kiss you, but I agree that was awesome, my man."

Cindy looked very pissed. She tried the mike, and to her relief, it worked. The student body president then announced, "I'm sorry about that little disruption. I assure you it will be taken care of. It looks like the judges have made a decision."

Mr. Rosso, the head judge, gave Cindy an envelope. The cheerleader said while opening the envelope, "And the winner is…" Reading the paper Cindy stopped. She looked at the judges and said, "This can't be right. Do all of you agree?" She paused and continue, "Very well, the judges have spoken. The winner of the 1984 McKinley High Spring Talent show is Sam Weir for his original short film Freaks and Geeks.

The audience gave a thunderous round of applause. Sam ran out the door of the projection room.

Sam said, "Hi Bill"

Bill didn't look near as angry as Cindy, in fact he said to his friend, "Congratulations, Sam."

Sam yelled over his shoulder "Thanks." as he made it into the Auditorium. Sam ran up on stage to accept his award; where he could see all of his friends, as well has his parents, and sister cheering very loudly for him. This was definitely a memory Sam Weir would keep for a lifetime.