C.J. and Leo sat down in her office, and Leo was unsurprised when C.J. began to speak in her usual voice. He was also, however, not surprised to see that tears kept slipping down her face as she talked. She filled him in on everything Josh had told her, and then they just looked at each other.
"Leo, he's going to have a really hard time with this. You know the relationship he had with Donna… and, well… you know the relationship he could have had with Donna."
Leo nodded, his face twisting in an expression of sympathy for everything he knew Josh would be experiencing.
"Yeah, C.J. I know. I also know that there's one person we need to get here as soon as possible. The only person who could possibly comfort Josh right now."
And then she knew. And she wondered why she hadn't already thought of this.
"Sam," she said simply. Leo nodded, and she picked up her phone. "Carol," she said and then had to clear her throat and start over. "Carol, will you get me Sam on the phone immediately? Tell him… tell him it's an emergency." She hung up, and they looked at each other steadily.
"Will you tell the president," she asked softly, and Leo nodded.
"I don't know how he's going to take this," he muttered. "He's been having a hard enough time dealing with the fact that he was the one who asked Fitzwallace to go. This could push him over the edge." He shook his head and stood up. "Listen, C.J. When you talk to Sam, tell him to get here as soon as he can. It's going to be hard for all of us to deal with this, but Josh … well, just get Sam here."
She nodded. "Don't worry, Leo. I know how important this is. We're all worried about Josh."
He walked out just as Carol called in, "C.J., I've got Sam on line one."
Taking a deep breath, C.J. stared at the phone and finally picked it up. "Sam, it's C.J. I'm sure you've been watching the news…"
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Josh was still staring at the top of his desk. He hadn't moved since everyone had left him alone seven hours earlier. C.J., Toby, Leo, Will… they all had come in asking him if he wanted dinner, if he'd called the Mosses… but he just couldn't bring himself to answer. He didn't know if he'd ever be ready to talk to any of them ever again. He couldn't imagine, now, how the president had felt when Mrs. Landingham had been killed by the drunk driver. But he knew he was only fooling himself. His feelings for Donna… well, he had more than he'd ever been willing to admit even to himself. And now he was afraid of how much it would hurt if he accepted how much she really had meant to him. So every time thoughts of Donna floated through his mind, he banished them with the numbness that seemed his only recourse. Until Leo came to tell him that the president wanted to speak to him. He knew he couldn't refuse, so he quietly followed Leo into the Oval Office.
Jed Bartlett was sitting on the couch, and he looked like he hadn't slept in days. He looked at Josh when he followed Leo into the room, and then he nodded for Leo to give them a minute. Once Leo had closed the door behind him, the president leaned forward.
"Josh, I want you to know how upset we all are about what happened in the Middle East. We are all going to miss Donna terribly. If you need to take any time for yourself, that's fine. I know this is going to be especially hard for you." He didn't say anymore because Josh barely seemed to register any of this. Bartlett sighed and stood up.
"Josh, why don't you go home now? Lie down, relax as much as you can…"
At this, Josh did look up. "No, it's ok," he mumbled. He stood up too. "I'm ok. I'm going to go back to my office. There are arrangements to be made…" he trailed off, and the president nodded, resigned.
"Ok, Josh. But go home soon. You need a break."
"Thank you, Mr. President." He walked out and somehow made it back to his office without bumping into anyone who tried to make conversation with him. Once the door was closed behind him, though, he sank, deflated into his chair. He didn't know how he was going to do this. He didn't know how he was going to do anything without her.