The next day passed in a blur of activity. No one could understand how or why Josh was still coming to work, but he knew that if he stayed home, he'd be alone with his thoughts, and that was something he just wasn't ready for. He also didn't want to deal with the phone calls he'd been getting from his mother every hour. He could avoid her calls more easily at work than he could at home. If there were anyone who could get him to think about things he didn't want to think about it was her. He hoped she wasn't serious when she said she was coming for the funeral. He was pretty sure he could keep it together just fine as long as she didn't show up. As far as he could imagine, no one else posed that same kind of threat.
The outer office buzzed with its usual activity, but Josh stayed in his office with his door closed until it was time for senior staff. He wasn't doing anything, exactly. He was just… not dealing with anyone. It seemed like an unnecessary hardship. He was sitting and staring at the clock when he suddenly realized his meeting was about to start. Grabbing the one folder whose whereabouts he actually knew, he headed straight for the Oval Office, head down to avoid any sympathetic looks or quick expressions of sympathy. He didn't get it. If he hadn't figured out his real feelings until now, how did everyone else seem to know that he was the one who was hardest hit? Or was it just that obvious from his complete disconnect from the rest of the world? He wasn't about to ask.
He stopped in front of Debbie's desk, being careful not to look at Charlie, and waited for her to wave him in. Without a word, but with a long, searching look, she nodded for him to go ahead.
Josh still wasn't seeing his surroundings entirely clearly, so he didn't get the complete sense of who was awaiting him when he walked in the room. The only people he noticed were Leo, the president, Toby and C.J. He nodded at them and took a seat on the end of one of the couches. He was so busy staring at his folder to avoid any eye contact that when the cushion next to him shifted as someone sat down, he didn't even look up. He just assumed that everyone was joining him to start the meeting. But when the silence persisted, he forced his eyes up… and his mouth dropped open.
Sam was sitting there, looking at him with some of the saddest eyes he'd ever seen, and the proximity of his closest friend combined with the sympathy he was generating released something in Josh that he'd been holding onto with all his might.
He shook his head at Sam, trying with that gesture to keep back the sob that was trying to force its way out of him… had been trying to come out for the last few days, for that matter. But Sam wasn't releasing his gaze for anything, knowing Josh needed this more than he was resisting it. He shifted over, so he could put his arms around Josh, and although Josh still hadn't stopped shaking his head, he submitted to the hug… and that was all it took. A strangled sob escaped, and C.J.'s eyes filled with tears as she watched his shoulders start to shake. Sam kept his arms around him, and the rest of the staff looked at each other miserably.
"Shall we?" Bartlett asked softly, motioning for them to go Leo's office. It was a gesture that spoke volumes about this president who always put others' needs before his own. In this case, though, they all understood that Josh needed this, and they willingly walked out of the Oval and into Leo's office, leaving the door open a crack, so they would know when it would be ok for them to go back. They settled on the couches, though, trying to make themselves as comfortable as possible. They weren't going to rush this, and they were willing to wait as long as it took.