-1Disclaimer: Tolanya doesn't own anything but her new YAOI my anti-drug shirt.
Date Posted: June 27,2006
Author's Note: Ahhh, it's been over a month! Dead internet. Yeah. Only on the computer where I keep this story though. Ah, this poor little cult favorite. XD Yes, you are a cult now. So um, back to Albel's insanity! My sister says this is the best chapter, so I hope it makes up for everything like dumb internet connections! Also, I'll go ahead and throw in chapter 6, ok? Alright, I better post this before the internet decides to die!
Another day dragged by, Albel and Luther and Fayt in the room together. The colors in Albel's mind only grew brighter, shining neon oranges and bright turquoises onto everything. He could see the tension between him and Luther, a bright blue streak through the air between them. He could see Fayt's pain and fear, a glowing red around him. And when he touched Fayt, there was a burst of hot pink, an emotion Albel didn't want to call love.
When Fayt woke up, it was worse. Luther would make sure he was ok, would worry about him like it was his lover lying on the bed, dying. And Fayt would seem all too aware of what was happening, his eyes sharply flicking from Luther to Albel.
It was midnight when things finally started to fall apart. Fayt woke up, his eyes slowly opening to reveal their strikingly green color. Albel looked up at Luther immediately with a low growl. Luther narrowed his eyes, hatred glinting in them.
Fayt tilted his head back, staring up at the headboard. "Why?" he asked, directing it at both boys.
They knew what he meant. Albel flicked his gaze over to Fayt. "Because he's trying to take you away from me."
Luther snapped back, "He's not your property!"
Albel's arms tensed, ready for a fight. Luther smirked confidently, leaning forward to meet Albel's even glare. A different sort of neon red, darker and glinting in sunlight somewhere in Albel's mind, was there. Not fear. It was anger. Jealousy. Hatred. Everything he thrived on.
"Albel, don't." Fayt's voice was weak, but firm enough for someone who was dying, Albel stopped, looked back at him. "Not now, Albel." He coughed, cutting off his words, then gasped for air. Albel leaned forward immediately.
"Fayt, are you alright?" He was surprised by how calm he sounded, taking Fayt's hand and leaning in, letting all the colors blend and mix freely into something he didn't know and couldn't name.
"Don't…." Fayt whispered, his voice trailing off. Albel nodded, crimson eyes studying Fayt carefully. "Don't let yourself."
He can tell… I need to kill Luther. What if Fayt gets stolen again?
"I'm sorry," Albel whispered back. "I can't help it."
Fayt's eyes begged him not to do anything, to sit and wait. And that was something Albel had never been able to do. He would rather kill Luther now and have Fayt to himself before he died than wait here for Fayt to die.
But it was Fayt asking him not to. And that changed everything. Fayt wanted them to be together as much as he did. And if he can sit around and wait, maybe I can. Maybe.
As Fayt drifted off into sleep again, Albel found himself less sure he could just sit and watch. Fayt was aware of the rivalry, and it was tearing him apart. He loves me. Luther is just in the way. Albel examined Luther carefully as the boy stared at Fayt. He wasn't as tall as Albel, but still taller than Fayt, though he was more well-built than Albel, whose body was thin, made for swiftness and not strength.
He's actually not that bad looking. He could give Fayt more than I could… After all, he has his whole gang. And around here, that's worth more than love. Fayt could leave me and he might be better off for it. He's a fool for sticking around when he could be with Luther. Albel glanced at Fayt. A fool, but I love him for it. God, he's beautiful when he's sleeping.
Luther shifted slightly in his seat, and there was a sparkle of neon colors near him. They all merged into a neon green; a sort of color that put Albel on edge. "Do you think," Luther spoke softly, "We're hurting him?"
"Of course you are, maggot," Albel snapped.
"Not me," Luther answered, his voice still calm. "Us. Fighting over him. Haven't you noticed how he is when we yell and fight? He doesn't want to be caught up in our fight."
Albel crossed his arms and looked down at the floor. "I'm not backing down. Fayt is mine, and you can't take him away."
Luther sighed and shook his head. "That's not what I meant. Albel-" He cut off abruptly, staring down at Fayt. "That's exactly what I meant. We can't stop competing over him. He could be dying, and all we're doing is wearing him down more. Can't we settle this?"
"No," Albel answered, not looking up for fear his eyes would give away how much he cared. "We can only wait." The colors morphed into bright cerulean blue, ocean waves lapping at his mind.
Luther's voice, harsh and angry, broke the momentary thoughtful silence. "Don't you get it! Fayt is better off with me! Just leave and stop causing him trouble! That's all you ever do. You just cause him more and more problems. You're violent, you're too rough even with him, we both know you've taken enough lovers before him, you can't accept that you love him!"
Albel's head shot up, blood red eyes glaring at Luther. He didn't answer, he didn't need to. Fayt is different from everyone else. Maybe I can't ever love, but even I know that there's something between us. He was always different, ever since I found him… Something about the room made Albel remember everything. A blur of colors blocked out everything else, and he lost himself in the memory, knowing he couldn't avoid it.
It had been only around two years since they met. A slightly younger Albel was walking down a road, made soft by a layer of snow. Something by the side of the road caught his eye, and Albel looked around to make sure no one was there before walking to it.
It was a boy, badly hurt as if he had been beaten, lying on the ground bleeding. He looked to be around Albel's age, with messy blue hair and a striking face stained by a black bruise near his jaw. Albel smirked and bent down over the boy. Well, this could be interesting. He ran an absent hand over the boy's chest, partly exposed by a ripped shirt. Definitely worth keeping.
With that, Albel changed everything. He dragged Fayt back to his trailer and let him sleep there. It was only when Fayt woke up that Albel even began to realize he was different from the other boys.
He had immediately sat up and looked around, green eyes resting on Albel. "Who are you?"
Albel let his eyes wander freely over Fayt before answering, "I found you lying there. Brought you back here." He stood and walked towards Fayt, reaching out and running a finger down the boy's neck.
Fayt whimpered in a way that somehow didn't make him seem weak, and scooted back on the couch. Albel frowned slightly, reassessing him. He might be worth the wait. Let him get to know me. He does have a sort of way…. Albel smirked. He could be fun.
Fayt looked up at Albel, then shook his head. "I-I'm sorry, I should… I mean, you saved me… And around here…" Fayt stood up. "I guess I owe it to you. If you hadn't found me, someone else would have… you know."
He's cute. Albel thought about it for a moment. "You're already gay, aren't, you?"
"Y-yeah. I guess." Fayt shrugged.
Albel nodded. "What's your name?"
"Fayt," he answered in a small voice.
"Fayt… hm." Albel ran a hand up Fayt's side, mentally reminding himself not to get attached to him, not even to his body. Then he wondered, as Fayt shivered underneath his touch, if he would ever even see him again. "Ever been with anyone before?"
Fayt shook his head. Something in the back of Albel's mind told him to let the boy go, there would be plenty of others. He would really be a shame to lose. And since when have I cared if the boys are virgins or not? And still, something about Fayt was different. "I'll let you go this time. I won't take anything you don't want to give."
"But I offered-"
"Do you want to sleep with me?" Albel cut him off, one eyebrow raised as if slightly amused. "I definitely don't mind." He allowed himself another careful look at Fayt's body.
Fayt blushed and tried to speak, but couldn't find words. "Well, you… I…"
"Go on, you can leave if you want." I'm being too nice to him. I should have my way with him while he's still here.
Fayt nodded, thanked him quietly, and walked out the door, letting it swing closed behind him. Albel stood there for a moment, staring at the door. What the hell is my problem? Maybe if I can just sleep with him I'll get over it. And Albel threw the door open, calling out to Fayt, "Hey!" Fayt turned around. "If you ever want to stop by, you can. We don't have to do anything. You know how to get here?" Fayt nodded and walked off down a street, snow falling lightly over him.
Albel didn't think he would ever show up again. He wasn't too surprised when a few days went by without him even seeing Fayt. It was too cold to be out anyway.
And then after five days, he just showed up one day. Nothing happened between them, but Albel could tell the boy wanted it, or maybe he was infatuated with Albel. Either way, things slowly started to happen between them. It was unspoken and subtle, but there. Fayt would lean against Albel for a moment too long, or they would sit just a little too close.
One day Fayt stopped by, and Albel let him in as usual. He turned to Fayt, and without a word kissed him. Fayt didn't try to stop it, and Albel knew this was his chance to get Fayt. He slept with Fayt that night, and he was sure he would finally be able to forget about him the next day. Instead, he laid awake all night, holding Fayt, and thinking. It'll hurt him. If I just sleep with him and never talk to him again…. Since when have I cared? He's not just another boy, but I don't like him any more… Albel bit his lip. Do I? Am I just lying to myself?
In the morning, he was sure. Fayt was something different. Maybe because Fayt didn't think of Albel as just a boy to have sex with. And somehow, now, Albel felt more attached to Fayt than before.
He tried to fight it over the next months. Albel did his best not to like Fayt. Even to make Fayt not like him. But Fayt somehow must have seen through it, because he never left. Albel would yell at him, only to take a look at his eyes and kiss him viciously, almost regretting getting mad. He never apologized, but it seemed to be enough for Fayt.
Eventually, he started to wear down, tired of denying. And one night, sitting on the floor with Fayt leaning against him under one arm, and a beer in the other hand, Albel just spilled out his life. He would say later that they were both drunk, Fayt for the first time, and neither was thinking right. But when Fayt didn't leave him, even knowing Albel killed his own father, he knew whatever they had was going to last a while. He couldn't accept that he might love Fayt, but things changed.
And slowly, so very slowly Albel knew he felt something for Fayt, maybe love. Fayt accepted it all easily, though Albel knew he had felt that way the whole time.
But it wasn't until at Luther's that I really knew it. Me and him, we're in it till the end. Albel stared at Fayt's sleeping body, still partly lost in memory. Maybe I knew it from that first day, and it took me two years to accept it… Doesn't matter now. We're both here.
The memories had brought new colors, blindingly bright purple that somehow reminded him of Fayt. And somehow, it was a color he didn't mind. Maybe he was used to the colors, and he didn't mind them anymore. Maybe it was just the color. I'm losing it.
The day dragged by, colors intensified. Albel accepted them without questions, if it meant he was going mad, he didn't care. As long as Fayt survived, nothing else mattered. Albel's mind was fixed on Fayt, Fayt and Luther, who was between him and Fayt. Luther left the room once, came back with food, though it had no taste to Albel, colorless in his mind.
Everything was nearly perfectly silent, and when there was noise or movement, it only barely moved the colors. At midnight, it was Fayt who broke the silence. He suddenly let out something between a yelp and a whimper in his sleep, followed by muttering nearly incoherent. Luther reached out and put a hand on Fayt's shoulder, but the boy, still asleep, whimpered again, this time speaking more loudly. "I don't want to…. No….. I want Albel!"
Bright red fireworks, passion and love and possessiveness exploded. Albel leaned over Fayt, hugging him. "Shh, Fayt, it's ok, I'm here."
Fayt was suddenly awake, whimpering quietly. "Albel! You're here…." He glanced to the side at Luther, fear in his eyes. "Albel, he wouldn't stop, and I was so scared…"
Albel wanted to hold Fayt, to kiss him and tell him it was just a bad dream. But he didn't know how much of what Fayt dreamt was only dreams and how much was nightmares of the past few days. Instead, he bent his head into Fayt's neck, kissing it lightly. "I love you, Fayt. You know that, right?"
"I know," Fayt answered, his eyes filled with happiness suddenly.
Neon blue, not turquoise, danced across Albel's vision, strumming with electricity. It was a good color; all he wanted was to see Fayt happy, no matter what the cost.
"Fayt." Luther, from across the bed. His eyes were hurt, confused. "I… don't mean to hurt you. I know our fighting puts more stress on you, but please, don't hate me."
The blue-haired boy shook his head, but didn't say anything. He just reached his arms up and clung to Albel, his arms cold even through Albel's shirt. Luther leaned back, hatred blazing in his eyes. Fayt's fear was tangible, a nervous wave of confused oranges and greens, so bright Albel had to close his eyes and try to clear his head. But the colors, they were all in his head anyway, and they were taking over. He couldn't say if they were real or not, if he had always seen them.
"Albel… I love you," Fayt whispered, before letting Albel go and falling back onto the bed, closing his eyes. He looked nearly dead, with skin that was snow-white in it's sickly paleness.
As soon as Fayt was lying down again, breathing in and out with obvious effort like they were used to, Albel let go of him and faced Luther. "Luther, get over here," he commanded in a low, malicious voice.
Luther glared back and met the challenge, walking to Albel. Albel immediately took the blonde boy's wrist and led him out of the room, out of ear shot of Fayt. Several eyes of late-night workers and visitors followed them, and Albel dragged Luther into a bathroom, dropping his wrist and kicking all the stall doors to be sure they were alone.
"Albel, if you want to fight-"
"Shut up, Luther!" Albel cut him off in a low but urgent voice. "What the hell was that about!"
"What was what..?" Luther looked confused, and it only served to annoy Albel more.
Albel rolled his eyes and kicked a stall door violently. "You know what! Whatever the hell Fayt was dreaming about. He was scared as hell! Don't lie, I know it was something about you." He paused. "What the hell happened between you two? How far did you get before he let you fuck him because of me?" Luther thought for a moment, and Albel leaned in, stepping firmly on his foot. "Don't you dare fucking lie."
"I didn't rape him, Albel, you know I wouldn't! I mean, I kissed him and touched him-"
"You think he wanted you to do that!" Albel half-yelled.
"We both know he's better off with me, without us fighting!" Luther pushed Albel away.
Albel caught his balance again. "I know," he answered, more quietly but not without edge. "You can protect him, and you might want him more than he'd like, but you don't play rough like I do. You're the one he should stick with."
Luther seemed caught off-guard. "Albel, we both love him."
"I'm leaving," Albel said suddenly. "If the infection isn't killing Fayt, we are. He only wakes up once a day, and he wakes up to us fighting. It's not good for him, we've both heard the doctors talk about stress hurting him, making him not want to wake up…. I just want him to be happy."
The blonde boy nodded slowly. "He's all mine then?"
"Damn it," Albel muttered. "If you fucking touch him and he doesn't want it, I will find you and kill you, got it? If he does fall for you, don't you ever, ever hurt him." Blood colored eyes assessed Luther, and for once Albel hoped Luther really did love Fayt.
It hurts to leave him. Damn it, it hurts. Who knows, maybe I'll see him again someday. Maybe I'll drown in colors. I love him, really love him, and I'm leaving.
"I'll take care of him, better than you did."
Albel threw a punch at Luther before he knew what he was doing, streaks of shining orange encouraging him. Luther was quick to respond, trying to jump back, but Albel's foot was behind his, tripping him. Albel fought with mad strength, knowing he may never have another chance to hurt Luther. He dropped to the ground and punched Luther firmly in the jaw, then kneed him in the stomach as he stood.
"Pathetic fool," Albel spat. "If you think you can protect him from whatever the hell happens, you better have good people."
Luther managed a smirk. "Oh, I do. The best."
"Tell Fayt… I love him," Albel said simply. He refused to show emotion, not even if he was admitting he loved Fayt.
"Do you?" Luther questioned.
"I said tell him, not ask me," Albel snapped. His vision was blurring in and out with colors and emotions, emotions he could see and taste.
"I will," Luther answered. "Think you'll come running back anytime?"
Albel snarled at Luther and turned to leave. His own footsteps echoed in his head as he threw the door open and stepped out into the hospital, nearly empty save for sleeping patients. Everything felt oddly sharp, painfully bright, all the colors finally mixed into one blinding, clear picture of the world around him.
He didn't really know where he was going once he left the hospital, but as Albel walked out the spinning door, he didn't hesitate. Something compelled him to keep walking. Something told him he had to avenge Fayt, to do something about this. And there was nothing.
Whose fault is this anyway? Mine? Luther's? Albel looked up at the sky, pitch black. No moon shone down, streetlights illuminating the way alone. And everything was sharp, so sharp. Albel just walked, letting lights fall down on him, letting the groups hanging in the shadows study him and decide he wasn't worth mugging.
Albel finally came to a street corner, abandoned, with a bus stop consisting of a bench and a canopy. Good as anywhere. He knew he couldn't sleep, not with everything so sharp and clear, piercing through his eyes. And so he just sat on the sidewalk, leaning against a brick building, staring out at the road.
Fayt's gone… he's Luther's now. The thought disgusted him, and Albel wondered if Fayt had woken up yet, been told he had left. It was best for him. If I stayed there and fought with Luther over him, Fayt wouldn't have been able to take it anymore.
And I don't think I can take being away from him. Albel leaned back, decided he would spend the night here, even if he didn't sleep.
He didn't. The colors were gone now, but replaced by something that put him on edge, left him with thoughts of nothing but Fayt and revenge. And the refrain in the back of his head, I need to kill something, I need to kill something, I need to kill something.
Night slowly faded into morning, and Albel hadn't moved. He just sat, watching the sun rise. Eventually, people slowly started to come out onto the sidewalk, one by one. And then a group came, obviously a gang of some sort that had probably been up all night drinking.
The urge to kill something was growing stronger in Albel, coursing through his blood, begging to be let out. Because Fayt is with Luther. Fayt is with Luther. My Fayt, mine, with Luther. And with sudden force, Albel leapt up, yanked out a pocket knife and drove it into the back of one of them.
The others, of course, turned around and went after Albel, but madness, the need to kill, drove him. He pulled the knife out, turned on another one and slashed his throat open. More blood gushed out and still it wasn't enough for Albel. The color, brilliant red, set the clarity of his world on fire with it's sharpness.
Somewhere, he could hear the scream of a little girl. Albel's mouth twisted into a smirk, and he cut through another boy's neck, left with only two now. One tried to run, and Albel threw the knife into his back. The other was a girl who ran to him as he fell, and Albel could tell instantly they were lovers. Before she could take the knife out, Albel stepped on it, driving it through the boy, then bent and yanked it out.
She tried to knock Albel over with a swift kick to the knee, but Albel leapt to the side, and slid the knife in between her ribs easily. He pulled it out, and the girl clutched at her side, dropping down. Albel knelt, slammed her into the ground, and slid the knife over her neck, feeling the flesh split beneath it.
And then he just stayed there, on the ground, looking down at the bodies and the blood. Must avenge Fayt- I will avenge Fayt- Everyone will die because I left him- This is the end- Albel's thoughts were all chopped into pieces, pieces he could barely understand.
Somehow, he could see Fayt, kneeling beside him, holding out his hand. There was a ringing noise in his ears as he stared up at Fayt. "I'm sorry," he whispered hoarsely, "It was for your own good."
Fayt didn't move. He just knelt there, staring intently at Albel, hand still outstretched. Albel reached out, tried to take his hand. And Fayt just faded away, leaving Albel grabbing at air.
The rest was a blur. There were lights, sirens, police officers, and he was in a jail cell. That was when he knew. I killed five people. I'm going to get the death penalty for this. Fayt is gone for good…