A/N: Wow, you'd think for the amount of time I took writing this chapter that it would have at least been a good one. But of course, that would just work out way too nicely. Yeah, I'm pretty sure this turned out like crap though I have to admit, it certainly has its moments. My only excuse for this kind of result is that my brain had been in "ultra tart mode" for the longest time now. You think it sucks reading the crap that comes out ofmy brain, just imagine how frustrating it is to own that abomination. Ugh. Poor me.
Chapter 3
Attack of the Doppelgangers?
The sun's harsh rays awoke Fai much too early for his liking. After all, he was having the most amazing dream; that he and Kurogane had spent the whole night snuggling and that he awoke to find the object of his affection still holding him close in his well-built studly ninja-arms. Realizing, however, that the sun would not be leaving him alone anytime soon, he groaned slightly and grudgingly opened his eyes.
It took a moment for Fai's still-hazy mind to grasp the fact that the amazing dream he had been having was actually the even more amazing reality. He and Kurogane really had spent the whole night cuddling and the object of his affection really was still holding him close in his well-built studly ninja-arms. Wow; sometimes life was fabulous enough to make up for all the times that it sucked ass. Feeling highly pleased with himself for being able to pull off such a feat as to sneak into Kurogane's bed, Fai decided to give himself a little reward: he ran his fingers through Kurogane's hair and managed to plant several kisses on his companion's face before the latter awoke fully enough to understand what was going on.
For a ninja who was supposedly notorious for having lighting-fast reflexes, this took a surprisingly long time. Kurogane's thought process looked something like this: Ugh. Light. In my face. Damn... It's too early for this…… There's something touching my hair. Who the hell would even think about touching my hair? The only dumbshit that might be retarded enough to try that is that magician… but that would be…… double "what the hell?" Something is touching my face now? Are those lips? …But who the fuck would…? I don't remember going to bed with any—oh…shit.
"WIZARD!"
Kurogane positively jumped out of bed, landed on the floor with a dull thud, scrambled back against the wall and attempted to dig his way through it even though he could feel the cold plaster against his back. His heart was hammering and he was breathing as though he had just run a marathon. Fai sat up, looked dazedly over at Kurogane (who was having a panic attack against the far wall), stretched and yawned leisurely in an almost cat-like fashion and looked back over at the ninja, a cheerful smile on his face.
"Good morning, Kurokuro!" he trilled.
"Wh…wh-what…" Kurogane stammered, pointing a shaking finger accusingly at Fai, "what the hell do you think you're d-doing!"
Fai tilted his head to one side, a look of polite puzzlement on his face. "Well, let's see… I'm sitting up, looking at you, and saying 'good morning'…"
"Don't give me that, you scrawny bastard!" Kurogane snarled dangerously. "It's waaaay too early in the morning for me to have to deal with your bullshit!"
The blond continued to look clueless although they both knew full well that Fai was just messing with Kurogane's head. "I'm afraid I don't understand what you mean, Kurorin."
Then Fai glanced over at the digital clock that sat on Kurogane's bedside table. "Hmm, I guess I should probably get up now, huh? Sakura chan said she'd make breakfast today but I want to be there in case she needs help with something… Now where are my clothes…?"
Fai got out of bed and looked around for the garments he had shed the night before. Spotting them on the other side of the room, he made his way over to them and picked them up before the angry warrior stopped him.
"DON'T JUST BLOW ME OFF AND ACT LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED, YOU ASSHOLE!" Kurogane shouted, attempting to jerk the clothing out of Fai's hands to keep him from being distracted by it.
Fai opened his mouth to give one of his usual calm replies when there was a light tapping at the door and someone pushed it open.
"Kurogane san," Sakura said timidly, "your breakfast is…Oh!"
The princess turned bright red at the sight of her two older traveling companions standing in the middle of the room together in nothing but their boxer shorts and apparently fighting over a pair of clothes. "I'm…I'm sorry! I—I shouldn't have invited myself in like that! Excuse me!"
She quickly shut the door and the two of them could hear her running down the stairs.
"Oh dear, it looks like you startled Sakura chan, Kurowanko," Fai said, though he didn't sound the least bit perturbed.
"M-me! ME! THIS IS YOUR FAULT, YOU DUMB ASS!" Kurogane raged. "DON'T YOU DARE TRY TO BLAME THIS ON ME!"
Fai blinked at him a few times, zipping up his khaki shorts as he did so. Then he shrugged and said "Ok, Kuropyu. I won't." The blond stood on his tip-toes so that he could give Kurogane another peck on the cheek before coolly leaving the room.
The ninja just watched him go, his face scarlet, adorning a look of pure shock and disbelief. Then he shook himself back into action once more, though he could still feel an odd sensation rising in his chest. Kurogane may have been the most skilled ninja in all of Japan, but that didn't change the fact that Fai was, no doubt, a force to be reckoned with.
Fai and Kurogane entered the kitchen together to find Syaoran and Mokona at the table, already eating and Sakura finishing up her preparations of Fai's breakfast. When she saw the two of them come in, her face turned scarlet and she intensified her focus on her work so that she wouldn't have to meet their eyes. Likewise, Kurogane chose a seat with his back to her and kept his gaze fixed on his plate. Fai, however, greeted everyone just as cheerfully as ever, seemingly unabashed that Sakura had found him and the ninja in such an uncomfortable position.
Syaoran, noticing the tension between his fellow travelers, took the plate from Sakura and brought it to Fai, shooting continuous quizzical looks between them.
"So," the wizard said finally, breaking the awkward silence. "What's on our agenda for today?"
"Well… the money we had from Outo that we exchanged is running out," Syaoran said.
"That means everyone'll have to get jobs!" Mokona finished excitedly.
"Eh? Jobs?" Kurogane and Fai asked simultaneously.
"I talked to the guy at the Information Center yesterday and he told me that most places around here require recently-hired employees who are new to the country to get a physical exam before they start working," Syaoran continued. "Sakura chan and I got ours yesterday so that just leaves Kurogane san and Fai san that still have to get one."
Kurogane's frown deepened and he broke into a cold sweat; he had never really trusted doctors. As far as he was concerned, doctors were just highly overpaid guys that enjoyed poking around where they weren't wanted and chopped off any appendages that got in their way as they did so. The thought of getting an exam by one of these butchers sent a shiver down his spine.
"Ooh, Kuropuu looks nervous," Fai giggled, prodding the ninja's shoulder playfully.
"Kurogane doesn't like doctors?" Mokona asked with a note of fiendish glee in his voice. "Is Kurogane afraid?"
"Shut up, white manjuu!" Kurogane snapped. "I never said I was afraid!"
"It's really not so bad, Kurogane san," Sakura said consolingly. "The doctors we saw were really nice and they didn't hurt us at all."
"One of us could come with you if you're afraid to go alone," Syaoran suggested.
"I'M NOT AFRAID, DAMMIT!" the ninja roared. "AND I'M NOT A DAMN BABY! I CAN GO ON MY OWN JUST FINE!"
Having said that, Kurogane stormed out of the kitchen, leaving his companions behind in a stunned silence.
"Kurogane's afraid of doctors! Mokona said after a moment with an evil giggle. "I can't believe it!"
But Fai wasn't listening for it was at that moment that an extremely brilliant idea occurred to him… an idea that concerned a use for his next wish. He quickly dismissed himself from the table with some vague excuse and hurried up to his room where he could plot undisturbed. This was going to be one hell of an awesome day.
No matter how hard Kurogane thought, he couldn't figure out a way to get himself out of a visit to the doctor's office. His old self might have simply gone and threatened the doctors with his sword until they agreed to fill out the exam form without him actually having to take the exam. He might even have killed one of them just to show the others that he wasn't messing around. But this damn curse that Tomoyo hime had put on him prevented him from choosing that course of action.
There was nothing else for it; he would simply have to go to the doctor, get his exam and pray to God that Sakura was right about it not being so bad. Then there was the issue about whether he would go alone or take someone with him. He hated to admit it even to himself, but the thought of having one of his companions come along was somewhat comforting. Fai and Mokona were both out of the question, of course, due to amount of pleasure they got out of mocking him. And he couldn't very well take Sakura with him; she was a girl, after all. That left only Syaoran. Kurogane didn't mind Syaoran but the thought of having to bring someone with him because he was too scared to go by himself still made him want to dropkick himself.
As there was no backing out of this situation, though, he had no choice but to go and bring the kid along for…moral support. He heaved a sigh and reluctantly went to find Syaoran. The sooner they got this over with, the better.
Syaoran glanced at Kurogane as they stood out side the door of the doctor's office building. The ninja's hand was suspended in mid air, hovering shakily over the door handle.
"Kurogane san?" Syaoran said timidly.
Kurogane shook himself, realizing that he must look like a real sissy to be afraid to enter the doctor's office, and pushed pass the door. A burst of cool air rushed out to greet them, accompanied by the scents of various sanitizers, chemicals used by the doctors and what might have been old people. The things that caused the smells didn't matter to Kurogane; as far as he was concerned, the place smelled of "accidental" deaths just waiting to happen. He suppressed a shudder and stepped into the building.
Everyone who was sitting in the waiting room looked up from their magazines as the two of them entered and stared openly at Syaoran and Kurogane, both of whom looked quite pale compared to the natives of this country. The boy and the ninja did their best to pretend that they didn't realize that they were the center of attention and made their way up to the receptionist's counter.
The receptionist had her back to them but from what they could see of her, she seemed to be tall and slim, with short, messy blonde hair and skin that was even fairer than theirs. Kurogane thought he recognized her from somewhere but from where, he didn't know. As he was studying her, trying to place where he'd seen her before, he gave a little smug smirk through his nervousness. For a woman, she didn't have much of a form; her hips seemed to be missing, she had an abnormally flat chest (as far as he could tell from where he was standing), and a virtually non-existent butt.
Heh. Well, that's what you get for being hell's gate keeper, bitch, Kurogane thought haughtily.
"Um, excuse us," Syaoran said finally, tired of waiting for her to notice their presence. "We're here to see Kakei sensei for a physical exam—"
Syaoran stopped then, mid-sentence, his jaw dropped in shock. The receptionist had finally turned around, revealing her identity to them; it was none other than their own traveling companion, Fai Flowright. Kurogane's eyes were the size of saucers and he thought he felt his heart skip several beats. Sure, he had always thought Fai looked a bit girly but never enough to actually mistake him for a woman. It must have been partially due to the clothes he was wearing. True, it was only a white lab coat but the style looked distinctly feminine. He was also wearing a pair of small, wire-rimmed glasses which, despite Kurogane's unwillingness to admit it, made him look a great deal more clever and seductive than usual.
"F-F-Fai san!" Syaoran stuttered as soon as he found his voice again. "W-what are you doing here!"
"Oh, I work here," he said cheerfully. Then he looked both of them over with an expression of polite puzzlement on his face. "But do I know you two? You don't look familiar…"
Kurogane and Syaoran looked at each other, baffled. Then they looked back at the doppelganger Fai in front of them, speechless. Doppelganger-Fai simply smiled back at them before saying "You said you were here to see Kakei sensei?"
"Oh, y-yes," Syaoran said, trying to compose himself.
"And your name?" Fai asked.
"It's Kurogane," the ninja answered.
Fai messed around with the computer for a moment or two before coming back to them and leaning on the counter.
"Kurogane, huh?" he said slowly, looking the swordsman straight in the eye. "That's an alright name, I guess. But personally, I would prefer something a little…cuter. Hmm…oh! How about if I call you Kurotan?"
Kurogane was able to pull himself out of his astonishment long enough to allow his eye a twitch of annoyance.
"You don't like it?" Fai grinned. "Ok then, I'll call you Kuropii instead!"
Kurogane slammed one hand down on the counter, using the other one to grab the offending blond by the lapels. "NO! YOU'RE NOT GONNA CALL ME BY THOSE GODDAMN NICKNAMES! WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH YOU FUCKING STUPID MAGICIANS THAT YOU INSIST ON CALLING ME THESE STUPID NAMES!"
Fai simply laughed and pointed over Kurogane's shoulder, causing the ninja to look behind him. Every patient in the waiting room was staring at him after his outburst, their mouths slightly open in surprise and horror at his choice of language. Finally, a little girl who looked to be about five looked at her mother and said "That guy is a potty mouth, huh, Mommy?"
"Put a sock in it, kid!" Kurogane snapped.
The girl stuck her tongue out in response. Kurogane let out a low, dog-like growl and reached for his sword. Just as he was about to pull it out of the sheath, he felt a light, cool touch on his hand and he paused to see who dared to pull a trick like that only to find Fai's hand on his. Kurogane jumped and blushed, pulling his hand away as though he'd been burned.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" he spat.
"Kurochii didn't do a very good job being the adult in that situation," Fai scolded lightly, shaking his finger at Kurogane.
"You're the last person I wanna hear that from, you bastard!"
"Ooooookay!" Syaoran interrupted suddenly. "You have Kurogane san all checked in, right, er…Fai san? We'll just go sit in the waiting room now, ok?"
Syaoran paused nervously, wondering if he dared to try dragging the ninja away from the counter. In the end, he decided he'd better not risk it and instead just motioned him towards the waiting room, whispering "People are staring, Kurogane san…w-we should just go sit down."
Kurogane cracked his knuckles threateningly, glaring at Fai before turning to follow Syaoran to the far side of the waiting room. A giggle from behind him made him look over his shoulder to see the blond waving and blowing him a kiss. Kurogane snarled and made an obscene hand gesture at him before disappearing to a section of seats around a corner which Syaoran had chosen so that Fai couldn't provoke the ninja any further.
"Kurogane san?"
Syaoran and Kurogane both looked up to see a young woman in white holding a door open and scanning the waiting room expectantly. Kurogane squinted at her as he stood, making sure that she really was a woman this time and not another Fai duplicate. He was pretty sure this one was for real. At least she didn't look like Fai.
"The doctor will see you now," she said, snapping him out of his observations. Kurogane approached her slowly, looking over his shoulder at Syaoran. The expression he wore said "Aren't you coming? You can't just let me face these maniacs alone!" Syaoran smiled back apologetically in a way that replied "Ah, sorry. You're on your own. I'll just wait here ok? Er… good luck and, um…don't die…"
Kurogane's face paled but before he could do anything else, the lady who had summoned him was shutting the door behind him and leading the way down a long, narrow corridor. She opened one of the doors and ushered him in.
"Have a seat on the table. The nurse will be with you shortly," she said with a friendly smile though to Kurogane, it looked more like she was leering.
He nodded wordlessly and did as he was told, looking nervously around the room while the lady shut the door, leaving him alone with his overzealous imagination. As soon as she was gone, Kurogane allowed himself to release a shiver that he had been suppressing. He didn't mind nurses nearly as much as the doctors themselves but he certainly didn't like them either. After all, if the doctor was the Wicked Witch, that would make the nurse like the flying monkeys.
The sound of the doorknob being turned caused him to jump and fix his eyes on the entryway, waiting for it to open and reveal the person who would begin his torture session. When he saw who his nurse would be, he could have sworn he felt his heart stop.
There, framed in the doorway, dressed in a white coat and holding a clipboard stood…Fai.
"Wh-what are you doing here?" Kurogane demanded, pointing a trembling finger at him. "I thought you were the receptionist!"
Fai smiled. "Well, it's nice to meet you, too. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe this is our first meeting…"
"DON'T GIVE ME THAT BULLSHIT!" Kurogane snarled. "YOU'RE NOT FOOLING ANYONE, MAGICIAN."
"Your name is Kurogane, right?" Fai asked, looking down at his clipboard with an innocent grin. "I'll call you Kurorin, ok? Take off your shoes and step onto the scale, if you would please, Kurorin?"
Muttering angrily under his breath, he removed his shoes, glaring at Fai and stepped onto the scale.
The blond moved the sliding balance until beam was level.
"Wow, you're pretty heavy, huh Kurorin?" Fai marveled. Then he smiled and took the ninja's arm. "But I'll bet that's because of all this muscle, right?
Kurogane simply glared in response as he jerked his arm away and stepped off the scale. Of course he was heavy compared to Fai; that idiot couldn't possibly weigh more than a loaf of WonderBread.
"Ok, now take a seat on the table again so I can take your blood pressure," Fai instructed.
Kurogane dropped sullenly onto the table and watched as Fai wrapped the gauge around his arm and began to squeeze the pump.
"Your muscles seem a little tense, Kurorin," the wizard commented as he continued to inflate the blood pressure contraption. "It's almost as if you were… I don't know…scared, or something."
His blue eyes glanced up from the gauge to look at the ninja, a smug little grin playing across his features. Kurogane ground his teeth but kept his mouth shut, knowing that Fai was just trying to get a rise out of him.
"Is that why you brought that boy with you?" he continued. "Because you were too afraid to come alone? Really Kurorin, how do you expect to be a good ninja if you're afraid of a little visit to the doctor's office?"
Kurogane growled at him and started to reach for his sword but Fai interrupted him.
"Hmm… your blood pressure looks a tad high, Kurorin. It's not good for your health, you know."
"AND WHOSE FAULT DO YOU THINK THAT IS, BASTARD!" the warrior snapped.
"I think it's that temper of yours," Fai said unconcernedly. "You really ought to learn to control it."
He unwrapped the gauge from his patient's arm before cupping the other man's cheek in his hand and caressing it with his thumb. "But don't worry; there are procedures that the doctor can perform to help with high blood pressure. It's painful but worth it in the long run. I'll suggest it to the doctor for you, ok?"
Kurogane's face went pale again, a thin sheen of sweat breaking out over his forehead. Fai just laughed at this reaction as he opened one of the drawers and produced a thermometer.
"Open up, now," he trilled.
Fai put the thermometer in Kurogane's mouth and then slipped the stethoscope into his ears so that he could listen to the swordsman's heartbeat. Kurogane's eyes widened as the nurse stuck the cold instrument under his shirt, holding it over his heart. Fai listened closely for a few seconds before moving the device to the ninja's back. A glitter of mischief in his eyes, the blond leaned forward in order to reach his patient's back instead of going around behind him as he should have, intentionally brushing his lips lightly against the other's neck. Once he felt the heat of Kurogane's blush, he quickly removed the thermometer and checked it.
"Oh dear," he said with fake concern, "your temperature looks a bit high as well. I'm afraid poor Kurorin has a slight fever."
Shaking his head in mock sadness, he made his way to the door. "My job here is done. The doctor will be with you shortly so wait patiently, won't you, Kurorin?"
Kurogane glared at him as he left, punching his fist into his other hand threateningly. That bastard had messed with his results! This would certainly lead to extra hassles once the doctor arrived. Then Kurogane thought of something; if that Fai was only a different version of him that lived in this world, then how had he known that Kurogane was a ninja? Kurogane certainly hadn't told him… But before he could consider the suspiciousness of the whole situation, there was another slight rattling of the doorknob, announcing the arrival of Dr. Kakei. Kurogane swallowed hard and straightened up, trying to look calm. After all, doctors could smell fear and it tended to make them a bit needle-happy. He held his breath as the doctor pushed open the door…
If it was possible for surprise to kill someone, Kurogane would have been stone-cold dead. Really, the doctor's identity shouldn't have surprised him so much with all the shit he had already been dragged through today. But in the ninja's defense, he had been told he would be seeing someone named Dr. Kakei. Regardless of what he had been told, it was Fai that stood before him, his outfit slightly different from before but still keeping up the general "white coat" theme. If Kurogane hadn't been so busy trying not to fall over dead, he might have noticed how good Fai looked in his doctor's getup.
"Hello, Mr., ah…" Fai consulted his clipboard, "Kurogane. It's nice to meet you. I'm Dr. Flowrite. I know you were told you'd be seeing Dr. Kakei but I'm afraid he was called in to perform emergency surgery and couldn't make it. I hope you're not too disappointed."
The wizard seemed not to notice the look of astonished horror Kurogane was fixing him with as he began to page calmly through the papers in his hand.
"But you were just…! So why are you…? Wh-what the hell…?" Kurogane sputtered, finding his voice at last.
"I believe that doctors should have a more informal relationship with their patients. It makes things less tense between them, you know?" Fai interrupted. "I hope you don't mind if I call you Kuromyuu."
"Yes, actually," Kurogane growled.
"Good! And you can call me 'Fai chan', ok?" he said, giving his patient a roguish wink.
"Like hell I will, bastard."
"Now, let's get this exam started, shall we, Kuromyuu? The first thing I need you to do is take off your shirt."
Kurogane narrowed his eyes at him suspiciously before reluctantly removing his shirt. Fai watched him closely as he did so, an all too innocent smile on his face. Once Kurogane had his shirt off, Fai went around behind him and pressed his ear against his back.
"Take a deep breath for me, ok?" he instructed.
Kurogane obeyed grudgingly, trying not to look as though the contact was bothering him.
Fai closed his eyes as he listened silently and then drew away, shaking his head.
"Hmm, that doesn't sound good," the blond said, frowning slightly. He made a note on his clipboard. Then he put his ear against Kurogane's chest.
"Another deep breath, if you would be so kind, Kuromyuu."
Again, Kurogane obeyed, feeling heat rising in his face and his heart pounding in his chest.
When Fai was done, he was shaking his head again. "Not good, Kuromyuu."
"What's not good?" Kurogane asked in spite of himself.
The wizard didn't answer but made another note, looking slightly worried. Then he smiled again.
"Your heart was pounding pretty hard. Does it make you nervous when I put my ear against your chest?"
"N-No!" Kurogane stammered indignantly. "As if someone like you could make me nervous!"
Fai studied him for a moment before giving a shrug. "Alright, if you say so, Kuromyuu."
He checked his papers again before approaching Kurogane, his eyes glimmering in a way that, ironically, made Kurogane nervous. The swordsman braced himself for what was coming next, expecting something painful. He was surprised when he felt Fai's cool, slim fingers moving gently across his chest, slowly working his was up his neck.
"Wow Kuromyuu, I never expected you to have such soft skin," Fai commented.
"Whatever. Shut up," Kurogane growled.
"I mean it," he said. "It's really nice. I wonder if it would feel as nice against my lips…"
"Does this actually have a purpose in the examination or are you just taking advantage of your position to feel me up?" the ninja asked through gritted teeth.
Fai's expression became thoughtful for a moment, his fingers continuing to apply light pressure as they moved upwards to his collar bone, his Adam's apple, his lymph nodes... "It's a little of both, I suppose. I'm supposed to do it, just to check that everything is in its proper place but if I happen to get a bit of pleasure out of it… well, that's just an added bonus."
"You sick bastard. And you call yourself a doctor?" Kurogane spat.
Fai chose to ignore this last comment and made another note. "This isn't looking good at all," he said again.
Kurogane straightened up, attempting to see what the blond was writing but Fai quickly moved around behind him and began the same technique on his back. As the doctor's fingers moved up his back, Kurogane was unable to keep himself from closing his eyes and savoring the sensation. He hated to admit it, but Fai's touch comforted him in a strange sort of way that he didn't quite understand.
"Mmm, Kuromyuu seems to be enjoying this," Fai's voice said softly from somewhere very close to his ear. Kurogane jumped, his eyes snapping open.
"I-I wasn't enjoying it!" he insisted. "I was just…envisioning myself chopping you in half with my sword once you'd filled out my exam form!"
"Is that so?" Fai asked with a smile that suggested that he knew far too much. "Do you always blush when you imagine yourself chopping someone in half or is it just my privilege?"
He laughed as the color in Kurogane's cheeks intensified. Then he took a quick look in both of the warrior's ears and in his throat. Once he had finished, he sighed, putting his clipboard down on the counter, steepling his fingers and focusing a serious gaze on his patient.
"I'm not sure of the best way to tell you this so… I figured I should just tell you straight out," Fai began somberly. "After looking you over, I've discovered what may be the symptoms of a serious problem which could ultimately be the cause of your death. There are ways to fix the problem but… they tend to be quite painful and the success rate is… discouragingly low. I'm going to call in a few of my nurses just to make sure that I'm reading all the signs right, but to be completely honest… things don't look so good for you."
Kurogane stared at him, his eyes wide. Surely this was some kind of bad joke. After all, he felt fine! People with fatal conditions don't feel completely normal one moment and then keel over dead the next. It just didn't happen. Surely Fai couldn't be telling the truth about this.
Before Kurogane's brain could formulate any kind of response to the doctor's claim, there was a soft knock at the door and several people filed silently into the room. For about the third time that day, the ninja received another extremely nasty shock though this one outdid them all by far. Four people had joined them just now, all wearing similar clothing and grave expressions, all sporting exactly the same haircut, the same eye color, the same skin tone, the same height and build.
Kurogane rubbed his eyes frantically before looking at them again; either his vision was playing tricks on him or he was going insane. Only one thought could penetrate his numb brain: My god, I've died and gone to hell. That was the only possible explanation. Nowhere but in hell would he be able to find himself surrounded by five nearly identical copies of Fai. One Fai was bad enough but five? That was more than any mortal man could hope to withstand.
Kurogane pinched himself hopefully; maybe he would get lucky and wake up back at the house to find that this had all just been a terrible nightmare. No such luck; the pinch hurt like a bitch and there were still five Fais standing in front of him. Realizing that his circumstances were hopeless, Kurogane switched his attention back to the situation at hand. If he was going to live through this experience, he would need to have his wits about him.
The Fais were gathered in the far corner of the room, their heads bowed in whispered conversation. Kurogane watched them suspiciously, straining his ears to catch what they were saying. The Fai who Kurogane and Syaoran had met at the reception desk looked up at him from the huddle and started giggling like a little girl. His fellows quickly shushed him, but not before allowing themselves a snigger first. Kurogane rolled his eyes; he'd never been to a young girls' sleepover party but this was what he imagined them to be like. Disgusting.
Finally, after what seemed like forever, the Fais dispersed from their huddle, their expressions grim once more. The main doctor Fai stepped forward.
"After looking over the results, my colleagues and I agree that performing the operation on you is your only chance of survival," he said seriously. The other Fais nodded their heads simultaneously in agreement. "I'm afraid it will have to be done immediately. One of my staff will inform your young friend in the waiting room."
One of the other Fais broke free from the group and left the room at these words, presumably to tell Syaoran that Kurogane was about to go into surgery.
"N-now wait just one minute!" Kurogane demanded, his hands balling themselves into fists. "Y-you can't operate on me without my consent!"
The remainder of the assistant Fais approached him menacingly as he spoke and Kurogane began to reach for his sword.
"I'm afraid we can, since your life isin jeopardy," Dr. Flowrite said coolly.
The assistants sprang forward, pinning the ninja down to the table before he could take action.
"Hey! Let me go, you bastards!" Kurogane shouted, trying to worm out of their grasp. But just like the Fai he knew, they all seemed to have grips of steel.
Dr. Flowrite regained his smile as he too approached, holding a rather sinister-looking syringe. In reality, the needle was no longer than an ordinary sewing needle but to Kurogane, it looked to be almost as long as a bus and twice as wide. A little voice in the back of his head, sensing that it was the worst possible moment to make its appearance, spoke up at that point; How ironic that you're afraid of a little needle when you have to face long, deadly swords every day in your line of work. If Kurogane hadn't been so panicked right then he probably would have told that little voice to go fuck itself, but at the moment he had more pressing issues to deal with.
He struggled with all his might but the group of Fais that were holding him just tightened their grip painfully. Dr. Flowrite paused at his side and leaned in close, stroking Kurogane's hair.
"Don't worry Kuromyuu," he cooed. "It will only hurt for a moment."
"Oh, thanks a lot… you bastard…!" Kurogane panted. "That really…makes me feel… a hell of a lot…better…!"
Dr. Flowrite giggled. "Good night, Kuromyuu," he whispered, giving the ninja a kiss on the forehead. Kurogane's eyes widened as he felt a sharp sting in his shoulder and all the Fais that had been holding him down let go of him. He tried to use his arms to push himself into a sitting position but his limbs felt impossibly heavy.
"Now, someone take his pants off," one of the Fais instructed cheerfully, his voice sounding as though it were traveling through water.
"Ooh, dibs!" another Fai shouted eagerly.
Kurogane began to see big black patches appearing at the edge of his vision and his thoughts moved very slowly. He could feel someone loosening his belt…and then unbuttoning his shorts…
Fai glanced up at the clock that hung on the office wall once Kurogane stopped struggling. It was now five o'clock, which meant he only had two and a half hours before his duplicates disappeared.
"Alright now, everyone," Dr. Flowrite, the original Fai, said. "That's enough, I think."
"Awww…" the copies moaned in disappointment.
"But can't we at least finish up here?" Receptionist-Fai asked hopefully.
"I'm afraid not," Dr. Flowrite said with a sardonic smile. "My mission was simply to have a bit of fun with Kurochan; not violate him."
All of the Fai duplicates hung their heads.
"But don't worry, our fun isn't completely over," he reminded them. "We still have to carry him home, remember."
That made everyone perk up a little.
"Fai san!" Syaoran said worriedly when he saw the wizard enter the waiting room. "Where is Kurogane san? Will he be ok?"
"Kurosama will be just fine, Syaoran kun," Fai assured him. "And don't look so panicked; I didn't do anything to him. He's just sleeping, that's all."
"I'm glad," the boy sighed. "Will you be bringing him home on the bus?"
"Actually… I had something else in mind…"
Syaoran's brow furrow quizzically.
"Besides, if we brought him back like this on the bus, it would look a little strange, right? You go ahead and take it anyway. Kuromin and I will be along shortly."
"…Right."
The younger traveler began to leave but Fai stopped him.
"Oh, and Syaoran kun?"
Syaoran turned back to him.
"When Kuropun wakes up, he won't know that all this wasn't just a dream. I'd really appreciate it if you'd let him keep thinking that, ok?"
"…S-sure…"
"Thank you, Syaoran kun. Be safe on your way home."
"I will."
Fai watched Syaoran push the door open, throw him a curious glance over his shoulder and disappear into the desert heat.
Kurogane opened his eyes slowly and blinked several times, his mind still feeling somewhat foggy and gelatinous from his unnatural sleep. It took a few moments for the day's events to roll over on him, but once they did, he sat up quickly and looked around.
"Oh, Kurotan's awake now," Fai commented cheerfully. "Did you sleep well? Are you feeling better?"
Kurogane frowned, fixing Fai with a wary gaze. Had all those things at the doctor's office really happened or was it all just a bad dream?
"What…happened?" he asked uncertainly.
"Sakura chan came upstairs this morning to tell you breakfast was ready but you wouldn't wake up," Fai lied. "We figured you must've been tired from this heat so we decided to let you sleep in. When it got to be noon and you still weren't up, we got a little worried that maybe you were sick so I came up here to look after you."
Kurogane continued to watch the blond disbelievingly, searching for any sign that he was lying. He was highly suspicious though the day's events seemed far too strange to have been for real. But if it had all been just a dream, why had he been able to feel it when he pinched himself?
"Now that you're up, I'll bring your supper up to you, ok?" Fai offered.
The wizard left before Kurogane had a chance to ask any questions, leaving the ninja alone with his confused thoughts. Gingerly, he prodded the area where Dr. Flowrite had given him the sedative injection to see if it was sore. He winced as his fingers found the tender spot and he ripped back his sleeve to examine the area. There was a bruise there. How strange; an injection wouldn't have given him a bruise. Maybe he had hid his shoulder on something while he was sleeping which had caused his brain to create the injection situation in his dream?
He put his head in his hands and closed his eyes; this was all so confusing. Whether or not that whole doctor's office thing had really happened or not, it opened up the way for some semi-disturbing possibilities. If it had been for real, then what had Fai done to him after he had blacked out and why didn't that uncertainty bother him as much as it should have? If it had been a dream, that would make it the second one he had had about the mage in two days which was something he found a bit unsettling. Why was that damn guy on his mind all the time?
Fai entered the room, carrying a tray on one hand. Kurogane decided he would push all these questions aside for consideration some other time. He simply didn't have the energy to explore all the "what if's" for now.
A/N: Hmm, something tells me I'd better run like hell if I don't want all my readers to shoot me. Yeah, I'm outta here. My sincerest apologies and er… I hope as much as you do that the next chapter turns out better than this unpleasant bit of poo.
P.S. If you're wondering about that somewhat random insertion of the word "gelatinous" up there, one of my friends requested that I try to work it in to this chapter of the fic. I hope she's happy, the jerkface.