Title: Dearly Beloved
Summary: …Young man accused of the brutal murder of 17 year old Susannah Simon…
Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own ideas. Everything else is God :cough: I mean Meg. Please don't sue me, I have no money, I'm a musician.
Chapter One: Prophecies
I hate math. I hate math. I freaking despise math…
4. Triangle ABC is equilateral. What is the degree measure of angle y ?
Hmmm…how about we skip that one…
5. If a sack of dried dog food feeds 4 dogs or 5 puppies for one week, then 5 sacks of the food will feed 15 puppies and how many dogs ?
Well assuming that the stupid mutts eat every day…
I mean really, what if one day you decided not to feed them?
Would the number of bags change every week?
Or what if you killed off two puppies and, whoops, now you only have three?
Wouldn't that change the number of bags?
Now don't get me wrong, I like dogs. And puppies are so cute! It's just that these questions are so incredibly pointless…
Ha, I could just hear him. 'Now Susannah, you should get a jump start on these things…Besides, it will make the time you spend with Jesse much more…productive."
Seriously, that's what Father D said to me. Like I don't make the time I spend with Jesse productive. I mean we kiss, talk, watch movies, kiss (okay, so we like to kiss. Sue me. Actually please don't. I'm poor.) And now we study.
Thanks, Father D. Thanks a lot.
I looked up at the young man that Father D had just proclaimed as my tutor.
That's right you heard me. Man. Not ghost, because Jesse de Silva was no longer a ghost. His wonderful heart started beating again right before my winter formal.
I know what you're thinking, because I thought the same thing. Just in time.
I got the chance to show off the love of my life at the winter formal. How awesome is that…For once, God was on my side. And what do you know…Madame Zara was 100 right. One, about my "God-given gift" as Father D likes to call it. And two…
Well, about having one love that will withstand time.
I guess I should explain…
Hi! I'm Susannah Simon. Seventeen years old, currently a junior at Junipero Serra Mission Academy. I have three stepbrothers, Sleepy, Dopey, and Doc.
Really being Jake, Brad, and, my favorite, David.
Some time after my dad died, Andy, my stepfather, and my mom met in New York (where I used to live), fell in love, got married, and moved me to this little city of Carmel, California.
That's when I met Jesse. Ghost Jesse. Oh yea, that's right. My 'God-given gift.' You see I can communicate with the dead.
Communicate as in interact with: see, hear, talk to, touch, and even smell. In other words, choice f; all of the above.
Yea. Touch. Meaning, if necessary, I can kick the butt of a troublesome soul.
This apparently makes me a Mediator. Or Shifter, which Paul prefers. But we're not going to go there just yet.
Anyway, so I move here, and I find Ghost Jesse in my new bedroom. Boy let me tell you we definitely did not hit it off too well. But then he saved my life.
We've been through so much together…
And in a few months, I found myself falling in love with him.
Yes. Mediators can also fall in love with ghosts. Though it's not something that I recommend.
Yet, I digress. Over the summer I found out that he had feelings for me too. Then in the beginning of my junior year I found out that he loved me.
Then Paul had to go and try to ruin it all. And he almost succeeded in tearing Jesse and I apart forever, when suddenly it all went wrong.
I screwed up.
I brought Jesse back with me.
And that's when he almost left me for good.
That's when God, if there really is one, finally really helped me. Jesse came back to life.
Just in time for the Winter Formal…but I said that already. No need for me to get all redundant…
And now here we are. Studying for the SATs together. The most gorgeous guy in the world was sitting five feet away from me and all he wanted to do was explain postulates and theorems to me.
Thanks again to Father Dominic…Well, Father D and Jesse's 19th century manners.
Oh, that's right, I'm not being redundant.
And those manners I mentioned? Yea, they certainly don't stop him from kissing me. And when things get heated…They don't stop him from feeling me up.
Okay…whenever that happens he always pulls away and starts apologizing frantically, babbling about how he doesn't want to take advantage of me, and how he was being incredibly 'ungentlemanly.'
Guess that's the only downside of dating a 19th century guy. I couldn't make him understand that I want him to take advantage of me.
But I can look past that part…
…For the time being…
Juuuust kidding!
I blinked. Jesse was staring at me with a crooked smile on his handsome face; his scarred eyebrow rose questioningly. 'Susannah…? Is something the matter?' He quickly shot a glance over his shoulder. Please, as if I would be staring at anything else…'You have been staring in this direction for quite some time.'
I blinked again and let my emerald eyes focus on him. He knew that I had been staring at him. The laughter in his eyes proved that much.
As if the laughter from his mouth didn't…
I brightened up. 'I'm just fine thank you very much. And stop laughing at me!'
Jesse stood up from the window seat. 'But querida, you are so cute when you're mad…'
'Shut up.' I stuck my tongue out at him. Yes. I am 17 years old. And I just stuck my tongue out at my boyfriend.
I know. I'm so mature.
'Very mature, Susannah,' Jesse teased lightly as he sat on the edge of my bed. Yea, that's me and my Jesse. Always on the same page… 'If you needed help with a problem you could have just asked. You did not need to stare at me for 20 minutes hoping that I would notice you.'
Once more, the perils of dating a 19th century guy become all too evident. Oops, more redundancy. I really have to cut that out. 'I do not need your help.'
'Okay then. Show me what you have accomplished so far, querida.' Jesse snatched up my notebook before I had a chance to hide it.
Damn you Father Dominic. This is entirely your fault.
Okay. Maybe that was a little sacrilegious…
Stupid Father D.
Alright, fine! Silly Father D. Happy? Jeez.
I am so going to hell.
Here it comes…
Jesse sighed, 'Come now, Susannah. This is the rest of your life. You need to study and do well on this test in order to go to college.'
I had to think quickly. There wasn't much time…
'Your notebook should not be blank after 2 hours of prac-'
'Oh come on, I was doing them in my head. These things are so easy. I could do them in my sleep.' It was so hard to lie to those big, coco eyes, but it was even worse having them disappointed in you. 'Besides,'
The only problem with lying to Jesse is that he can always tell. No matter what. So I blurted out the first thing that popped into my head. '…it's a sin to exaggerate!'
Jesse gave me one of his "looks". You know the ones. 'And when exactly, querida, did I exaggerate?'
'I was not staring at you for 20 minutes! Try more like…5!' Well, maybe 10…
Liar.
Jesse rolled his eyes; a habit that he had picked up from me, 'Perhaps, Susannah. But the fact remains; it is also a sin to lie to your teacher, no matter how much he may love you.'
'Fine. So we're both going to hell then.'
'Fine.'
……………Grrr
'…I love you too.'
Stupid, Stupid Jesse. Stupid gorgeous, irresistible Jesse. I let my gaze travel to his mesmerizing eyes. I felt myself getting lost in that gaze the second our eyes locked.
For a moment that seemed to last forever, we gazed at each other. His eyes seemed to dance to music that I could almost hear.
That's the thing…"almost". To Jesse, my eyes are open books. One glance at them and he could read my entire soul.
But me? Jesse's eyes seemed impossible to read. They were these dark, liquid pools of brown that captured me in their gaze and entranced me. But I could never see what he was thinking or feeling.
Softly, Jesse reached out a shaking hand and cupped my cheek, his thumb gently tracing small circular patterns on my skin. He looked extremely…
Distressed.
…Oh jeez. I'm using Jesse lingo. Anyways!
I just wish I could read those eyes…
A moment passed. Another.
Then as quickly as it had come…it was gone. Jesse pulled away and laughed nervously. 'I'm sorry querida, you are right. It was rude of me to imply that you are a liar. I'm sure that it is much easier for you to do these problems than it is for me…'
My eyes went wide and I stole a look at the work that was sitting on my window seat. My mouth fell open in shock.
Jesse had finished the first SAT workbook and had already moved onto the second. I saw his neat, nearly perfect handwriting abruptly stopped on what looked to be a complicated trig problem.
I looked back at him. He was staring at the floor, still talking, 'I mean after all, you have been going to school almost your whole life. I'm sure that teachers taught you how to do these things in your head. It was completely out of line for me to say such a thing Susannah and I hope that you will--'
Okay. Jesse is babbling. And what's worse is that it's painfully obvious that he knew what he was saying was nowhere near the truth. Something is definitely wrong…
'Jesse!' I grabbed his hands and in shock he lifted his gaze to my eyes, 'Who are you kidding? I can't do this junk in my head. It's just that sitting here doing them is so boring.' I don't know what made me confess. If it were anybody else I'd be all like, "damn straight, and don't you forget it. Look here everybody, Suze Simon the genius mediator!"
Well…not really. But I'm sure that you get my point.
But Jesse isn't "anybody else." He's different. And at the moment he looked upset. 'But it's okay. We can keep doing it! I don't mind. I'll try harder, I promise.'
To make Jesse happy, I'd do anything. Sappy, I know, but true.
I really didn't want to keep doing it, but if he wanted to keep going then I should at least try, right?
Guess Jesse had a better idea. Ever see a hyper active five year-old on Halloween? Yea, that's what happened to Jesse in a matter of two seconds. Totally out of nowhere. I saw him cast a glance at my clock as he smiled. 'Your family is going to be home soon, right? Come, let's go out. You should dress more warmly, I will wait for you downstairs…'
Before I had a chance to respond, Jesse pulled me into his arms and kissed me softly but urgently, almost as if my lips were the only thing that was keeping him on this earth. It was certainly a surprise. Being kissed like I was the only thing that mattered to him.
Shock. Shock.
When he broke the kiss we were both breathing kinda hard. But I guess that that was understandable. That was one heck of a kiss…'I'll meet you downstairs…' He tenderly pushed a few strands of my hair behind my ear. My breath caught. It felt like he didn't ever want to let go of me; like it was painful to end the moment.
Okay. Something is definitely up.
'Sure.' Great. I squeaked. Very sexy Simon. Even in the midst of problems, he somehow still manages to have this effect on me.
As Jesse walked out of my room I turned to my closet. Something warm…I quickly traded my baby tee for a soft, black, off the shoulder sweater. I also traded my bra in for a strapless one. I found a comfortable pair of Mudd jeans that had some rips in the knees. But they were cute and hugged my figure so I figured that they would do.
I saw my Jimmy Choos sitting in the back of my closet and laughed. I've broken them in since then, so they don't blister my feet anymore, thank god. That wasn't a pleasant memory. Except the whole, "At last I have you where I want you…" bit.
I decided on a pair of white Nike sneakers. Not stylish, I know, but comfortable. I mean, I have no idea where Jesse wanted to go, so I might as well be comfortable.
As I changed I thought about what could possibly be the matter with Jesse. He had been babbling. Either he spends way too much time with me or something is seriously wrong…
Oh.
My.
God.
What if he and Father Dom are plotting something behind my back again! And Jesse is just feeling guilty about not being able to tell me!
What if he is spending so much time with me that now he wants to break up with me because he realizes how many of my stupid, annoying habits he has started doing!
Gasp! What if he and Father D are waiting for the perfect opportunity to get me on my back?
… … …
Ewwww!
Get me defenseless. Definitely less…eww…
But if he wanted to break up with me then why would he be sad…And shaking? I mean…come on.
Whoa…Back up Suze. Jesse was shaking. Something must be wrong.
I slipped into my bubble jacket and headed toward the stairs. I could swear that there was something else in his gaze besides sadness. Something familiar…something I should have remembered. But for some reason I couldn't place my finger on it.
As I saw Jesse pacing back and forth running a hand through his thick hair, it hit me like a ton of bricks, only a lot less painful…
Fear.
Jesse is afraid of something.
That scared me. A lot. Fear is not an emotion that Jesse feels often. Actually I've only seen him afraid once before…
I saw Jesse turn around to retread the same five feet that he had been pacing in, but when he saw me standing halfway down the stairs he abruptly stopped. 'Querida,' He breathed, 'you look beautiful.'
I looked down at my ordinary ensemble. Sure I looked pretty…but it was nothing spectacular. It wasn't like I was trying to elicit a "You're the most beautiful woman…" bla bla bla kind of reaction.
Okay Suze. Let's shut up now; stop reading into every word that comes out of the poor boy's mouth.
Omigod, I'm blushing! I could see it in all of the pictures that Andy and my mom had hung up on the wall. I tried to give a normal smile. 'Thanks…'
Why? Why do I have to squeak? You'd think that by now I'd be over that phase of the relationship, but no. Once again, the greater being(s) are laughing at me.
Jesse smiled and shot another quick look at a nearby clock, 4:45. 'Lets hurry, I do not want to miss it…'
'Miss what?' I inquired.
'You'll see, mi querida.' He shot a little grin at me and motioned for me to follow as he walked out of my house. 'Quickly now, we do not want to be late.'
'Late for what?' I was getting really curious, but, of course, Jesse was too stubborn to give in.
Ohhh. A mysterious Jesse. How…
Enticing.
Down girls. I'm kidding. Jesse wouldn't plan anything like that…
Would he?
Suddenly, I really wanted to know what was going on...So much, in fact, that I was practically pushing him out of the house.
I know, I know. Very feminine…
We briefly stopped by Jesse's car to pick up something very large that he wouldn't let me see.
Now that I'm thinking about it…it looked like a bag.
What the hell?
A bag with what?
OHMIGOD. What if it was a bag full of condoms? Oh come on Suze…think realistically. No one could last THAT long.
Right…?
Well…it had been 150 years since…naaahhhhh.
'Susannah?...Wanna hammer?' (A/N: I'm sorry, that's all Lolly, it was just so funny that I couldn't resist… Sniff My Butt: F L A S H L I G H T chapter 7.)
Again with the squeaking, 'WHAT?…!' (See…that was barely audible…) Omigod, it's really going to happen!
OMIGODOMIGODOMIGOD. The world is c l o s i n g i n…..
'JessethisisallsosuddenImeanit'sreallycoldouthereandreallyImeanthinkofalltherepercussions!Butwait,IdontwantyoutothinkthatIdon'twanttocausethatstotallynotthecase!'
Jesse doubled over in laughter. Gee…I hadn't realized that I'd said anything funny, but, whatever.
'Susannah,' He came up gasping for air, 'I've told you before, you have to breathe once in a while between words. Otherwise, you say everything much too quickly for me to understand. In answer to your first question, I asked, "what's the matter," and as for the rest you'll have to repeat yourself…'
Well this brought back interesting memories! I noticed that his voice was still a little hoarse at the same time I noticed that I was blushing. 'I said absolutely nothing.'
Apparently, my mini freak-out had caused us to stop walking. Jesse had his scarred eye-brow raised oh-so-adorably.
'Nothing, honest. Just vastly curious as to the contents of the bag.' I dazzled him with an enormous 100 watt smile.
Jesse nodded distractedly as he continued walking, motioning for me to follow. 'You'll see.'
Again with the, "you'll see." WHEN!
WHEN WILL I SEE?
Can you tell that I'm a girl of very little patience…?
'Just a little farther now.' With all the talk and…thoughts… I hardly noticed how far we had walked in so little time. By my cell phone's clock it was still only 4:52, but here we were just a hop, skip, and a jump from the beach.
Awwww…I love the beach. Especially at sunset. It's so…
Beauti----OOOOHHHH…!
Wow…I'm an idiot…
We slowly entered the grounds of the beach. Jesse led the way to a small patch of sand where he dropped his bag and smiled, 'This will do. Yes, this will do nicely.' Seemingly from nowhere, Jesse pulled out an extremely soft blanket that seemed to stretch for miles.
Aha. The thing in the bag.
I was speechless. Everything was so…
Perfect.
As we sat down on the blanket, I curled up in Jesse's arms. We laid there for what seemed like hours gazing into the deep red and yellow colors of the sunset.
I swear that I only blinked for a second. 'Wow, that's impressive. I've never seen it get so dark so quickly. Bet CeeCee would have a field day with this…'
Once the sun fell below the horizon, the sky turned an eerie shade of dark blue, as if it was already midnight. I got the strangest feeling. For being so dark it was awfully bright. I tried to find the moon but couldn't. But the stars…boy did the stars ever catch my attention.
I practically jumped out of Jesse's arms, 'Whoa, check that out!' I'd never seen so many stars, but three in particular just seemed to jump out at me, 'Look at those, Jesse,' I said, beginning an impromptu stargazing session.
Three bright red stars gave the illusion of being wreathed in flames. 'Isn't that beautiful? I've never seen anything like that before.'
Time just seemed to stop, suddenly. Where before I could hear Jesse's heart beating softly in his chest and the waves crashing on the shore, now I couldn't hear anything.
It was so quiet…
'Jesse?' I tore my gaze away from the dazzling night sky and looked at him worriedly. At some point he had stood up to gaze at the sky in shock. 'You okay?'
No answer. Well that was unusual. I pulled my jacket tight around my body. 'Haha, Jesse, very funny. Joke's over now though. You can respond.' I knew I was whispering, but it sounded like I was shouting. That's how…
Silent it was.
'Susannah,' Jesse seemed shaken, 'You can see them?'
'See what?' I snapped, 'The stars? Of course I can. I wasn't blind the last time I checked…' My temper seemed to flare from out of nowhere. It was so sudden that it even shocked me.
I hate feeling left out…And that's the feeling I had. Like I was missing something important and no one wanted to fill me in.
I was afraid…
I hate feeling afraid because I feel helpless.
So I began turning that fear into something that didn't make me feel so vulnerable.
Anger.
Yet as angry as I was, something happened in that single moment that shook my own little reality right off its hinges…
Hector De Silva, my Jesse, broke down and started to cry.
A/N: This is my first fanfic ever…
So, review? Please?
Nikki