Thanks to Silent-Voices that helped me figure some mistakes out.

Dedicated to the girl that'll actually never know.

She'll never know

The most important thing in my case, was, that the girl I fell in love with, the perfect girl by the way.

Had no idea. There was no 'Zing'or 'POW!' moment. It was little by little. Bit by bit. And after I actually fell in love, all I could do, was take all my courage and face up to it like a- well, not man, and not a woman, but certainly a Gryffindor!

Then again, even when I did come out,(and oh yes, believe me, I did big time!) Tell my mum, and everybody knows…!

All either tried to act so calmly, or accepting around me, as a token of not minding? Ortried to ignore it like if they brought the subject up, they'd become infectedwith the dreaded sicknessknown as 'GAY!'.But they still wouldn't get so close to me that they thought, I could fall in love with them by accident. Not that I could. Even though at times, I whished so severely, (and still do) that my affection, could just go away, or rather turn itself on someone else.

You see, I love her. Everything about her. I love the way she smiles, the way she talks so passionately, for example about the houseelves. The way she cares about everyone. (but Malfoy of course) The way that when I came to her and said, "Mione, I eh… I'm a lesbian," All she answered was "Yeah" Then blinked at me, and hugged me. I've always wondered if it was because I dated Cho, and that bitc- girl, can't keep her mouth shut, or if she knew it was her all along. Though I doubt the last option.

Or rather, she didn't know. I'm rather bad at acting, so I never told anyone, that it's Hermione on my mind. Hermione that's walking all over my brain, like it was her personal living room.

A little while after my 16th birthday, we were at the same party. And Hermione, being Hermione, obviously isn't that good at drinking. She immediately got very drunk, and ended sitting beside me, in a corner, most of the night, telling me about Ron in bed, though I have no guy to compare with, or the willing urge to tell her she's in fact, the object of my desire in bed, I nodded and listened. (Though the whole Ron thing grossed me out.)

After telling me how she had had the biggest crush on Harry in her 3 year, she looked at me, "A' on' time I tho't you fancied me in 4th or 5th year." She grinned at me, and I just smiled not knowing if she should know that crush was still current.

"But anyway-" Hermione continued, though I turned her out, I know it was mean, but it gave some time to think.

I could do something about my longing, or just watch her be with another.

So I leaned in and kissed her. She didn't even flinch, and she kissed me back. But after a good 5 minutes, she stopped me, saying "List'n, Ih'm no-"

That's when the fire whiskey kicked in, and I knew in my gut, that she'd have forgotten this my the time she woke up. I guess I put this on myself.

I love her too much to cause her the pain of knowing. Not wanting her to know what I'd like to do with her. And to her. I know she's not a person that would 'disown' me if I told her. Though I know our friendship would be down the drain, kind of strained, and in comes the awkward moments. Currently she's my best friend, and I wouldn't want to screw it up.

I absolutely hate this. But she's with my brother. He's also my best friend. One of the first I told I was gay to.

I'm in love with best friend's girl.

I know it's wrong, and I shouldn't ever have acted on it. But I did, and now I can't ever forget those lips. Those gentle lips on mine.