Disclaimer: I still do not own CSI : (

AN: Ha! managed to update sooner as I thought I would: ) Sorry for this chap being so short, but I felt as if I wrote everything that I wanted to be written and so I am somehow content with it : ) enjoy!

Many thanks to Myra for beta reading :)

BTW, if you like angst, read my other WIP "shattered hearts and resurrected dreams" : ) and if you've been a fan of "the favor" then you might want to read the sequel I just started called "home, sweet home" : )

Summary: ...the chalk scene... -sigh-

chapter 5

"You want to take a walk around the block? Get some air?" She asked her eyes never leaving him.

He sighed. "No." He answered shortly.

"Clear your head ..."

"I'm fine." He interrupted her.

"Okay." She knew why he didn't want to go for a walk, she knew why he did not want to go for a walk with her. Somehow it was frustrating that, although he obviously felt the tension that was there between them, he did not act on it, seemed to do everything he could to be able to ignore it…

But she couldn't just ignore this. She wanted him since the first day that they had met, she had still wanted him after he had left her apartment after telling her that they could never be more than friends, she just couldn't, could never stop wanting him.

And suddenly she lost the control over her actions that she so barely had been able to keep before. She slowly reached out for his cheek, her hand slowly and softly caressing it. Right then she realized what she was doing.

And she noticed that Grissom was as surprised about this as she was. Their eyes met and she quickly pulled away from him. Searching for an excuse for this. She shrugged. "Chalk ... from plaster." Great, what an excuse. I could have made up something better.

"Oh."

She felt a knot in her throat as Grissom almost immediately wiped over his cheek with the back of his hand. She could feel her heart beating hard and fast and she wished that she could have controlled herself better.

He stared at the back of his hand for a second or two and then his eyes found hers. She knew that he sensed that there hadn't been chalk on his cheek and the tension, that filled her body while he stared at her in that moment, drove her insane.

Silence, for a second that seemed like an eternity. She couldn't stand this anymore. Him knowing so well that she touched him because she hadn't been able to bear up against the tension and feelings that had been rising up in her, and not because there was indeed chalk on his cheek but not doing anything about it, drove her insane.

She broke the contact of their eyes and turned her face away. "Better go wash up." She told him gently. Then she left him standing there, a soft smile building up on her lips because there was one thought running through her mind over and over again. If he wouldn't have liked it he would have showed me.

He had neither pulled away nor told her that there hadn't been chalk on his cheek. He had jumped on the train and had pretended to believe her. This would be their little 'secret', only a little secret that followed the big secret behind them but maybe this was a start.

The whole time there had been this tension between them, since they had been in the former suspect's apartment, searching for the source of the flies in the darkness. When he'd been standing with his back slightly touching hers, her heart had been beating up to her throat. And for a second, she swore, she had been able to feel him leaning against her. It had only been one second, one tiny, tiny moment but it had sent showers of sensations through her whole body. It hadn't been easy to not gasp, to not let him know how surprised she was.

Being close to him always was like a little challenge inside of her. The rationalism in her and the feelings her heart felt for him were battling against each other every single moment.

She had hoped for a change after what had happened before, during and after the decoy operation a couple of months ago, but nothing had happened. She wondered if she'd been wrong about what she'd been so sure of. She had felt that he had been jealous of Culpepper. She had felt that he was still feeling something for her… why didn't he act on it?

And still she felt that there was more between them. There definitely was something and even though she could not put it into words, she was sure of it being deeper than friendship, much deeper.

She didn't know why he was fighting it, why he denied it… maybe he still held on to what he had told her years ago… that his priorities were his job and the science. That she did not deserve to only be the number three in a man's life.

Ever since he had told her this, she had wondered if he had said it because this was what he really felt or if he had just told her this because he wanted to fob her off with a lame excuse because he thought she'd believe it, because he thought that she was naïve enough to believe him.

Tonight she had her proof that it had not been a lame excuse. She couldn't explain why, but she just felt, that if he'd not believe that she'd deserve better, he wouldn't have been able to resist the temptation.

The tension between them had been almost unbearable for a couple of seconds and especially in the moment right after she had touched his cheek. And also before the tension between them hadn't been ignorable.

But he had been able to control himself and Sara just couldn't help but feel that the only thing that gave him the strength to do so was the fact that he still strongly believed that he wouldn't be able to make her happy.

On the one hand and in a weird way this filled her heart with warmth. He did feel something for her and no one could take this away. But on the other hand he would not act on his feelings until he would realize that he could indeed make her happy. And she didn't know how to feel about this. It made her sad because she didn't know how to prove him that he could make her happy. But she knew that if he would realize it one day it would happen in the right moment and exactly when she'd need him the most. She didn't know when this would happen but one day it would and that was something she was definitely sure of.

And that was also why she was smiling in the moment that she went back into the house. One day he would know and then he would stop controlling everything he does. He would stop pretending and he would stop holding back his feelings.

She would hope every morning that this new day would be the day, that he would realize it, finally. Until it would happen she would watch the sun rise and would secretly pray that he would just know it from one second to the other.

TBC