A/N: Just so you know, future chapters will be longer than this. And this begins in 1977--I looked it up on the Harry Potter Lexicon. Dead useful site, by the way.

And I hope and tried hard to make this NOT a Mary-Sue. Please tell me how I've done.

8/27/77

This is a new diary, so I suppose I'll introduce myself.

The name is Genevieve Smith, and witchcraft is my game. As in, I wave my wand and say an incantation and a feather levitates (if I want it to.)

I'm a Hufflepuff seventh year at Hogwarts. I'm in the same year as the infamous Marauders and Lily Evans; all of whom (I hate to say it for the Marauders) are going to be great someday. I probably won't, since I'm kind of short and pudgy and not great at actual spells and stuff.

I'm also a chronic diary-writer. Can you tell?

Actually the Sorting Hat was definitely leaning toward Ravenclaw for me, and I hang around with a bunch of Ravenclaws; love to read, but I hate to study. So here I am, stuck in Hufflepuff…haha.

I'm not really interested in great things, though I suppose I am interested in Ravenclaw things. I want to be a folklorist when I grow up. Going to be lots of fun!

Yeah. A folklorist. A story collector. In the wizarding world, it's called a Tale Master.

Got a problem diary? Huh? HUH?

The folktales of the wizarding world are fascinating. You can learn so much from them – they have ancient spells and have information hidden in them. I enthuse.

Yeah.

Going back to Hogwarts in four days. Or is it three? I can never get these things straight. Do you count from the day that you're on, or tomorrow, or what?

8/28/77

I forgot to say anything about my family. Sorry. It was a bit late last night.

My family is loco. Crazy. I guess you could say I'm crazier, but then I'm a Hufflepuff and we're known for being flaky.

But yeah. My parents are hippies--very, very, very weird--and have a freaking threesome. I have two mothers, one father, and two older brothers. It's a little creepy…very creepy…and illegal…so I have two moms and a dad. Funnily enough, I like Mum (my non-biological mother) better than Mama.

They're all muggles so that makes me muggleborn. Though that last bit is relatively easy to figure out.

Even with all the prejudice directed at muggleborns, I have enough friends, a best friend (Lily Evans, even though she's in Gryffindor) and many other very good friends.

Three more days (or is it two?) (or is it four?) until Hogwarts.

8/29/77

EL POLLO DIABLO HAS COME!

PURPLE GERBILS UNITE!

PURPLE GERBILS UNTIE!

FAREWELL TO ALL FUNNY FUZZY ANIMALS!

IF LIFE THROWS YOU LEMONS, THROW THEM BACK AT THE FUCKER!

I'M A TURD MASQUERADING AS A RAISIN!

LOSERS ALWAYS WIN!

QUIDDITCH IS A TESTOSTERONE POISONED SPORT!

DOWN WITH PHYSICAL EXERTION!

I'm a little hyper. And trying to decide which one of those would make a good motto for me. I think I'll have to email Lily.

Later

Just heard from Lily that Black the Elder (Sirius Black) moved in with Potter the Prat (James Potter, Lily's long-time crush, not that she'd ever admit it) because he (B the E) ran away. Weird.

But that reminds me. Black is really annoying. So are all the Marauders. Conceited, stuck-up, holier-than-thou little shits are always embarrassing someone or something. Humor! That's what they call it! Humor! That's not humor, it's alice.

Wait, I wrote alice, not malice!

Ha!

I'm such a ditz.

Day after day after tomorrow is Hogwarts.

8/30/77

I've narrowed it down to EL POLLO DIABLO HAS COME! and PURPLE GERBILS UNITE! and DOWN WITH PHYSICAL EXERTION!

The others can be my back-up mottos, though. Good for shouting in the common room—which is painted a really ghastly combination of yellow and black.

Please note, diary, that I just shuddered.

No more updates on Potter and Black. Not even from Remus, who's my friend, because he's not an utter prat like the rest of them. He's a werewolf.

I like Peter too, actually. He's rather sweet, when not around B the E and Potter the Prat (or, P the P).

This is really annoying, explaining all this to you, diary. Blech.

On another, random, note, I think I'm descended from a werewolf. I eat a lot of bloody, almost raw steak and I love it.

But wait – ! They cannot have children – ! It's all me!

EL POLLO DIABLO HAS COME!

Day after tomorrow is Hogwarts.

8/31/77

Know what? I'm going to leave off the year part of these dates. It sucks having to remember the year. I was never good at it.

Haha.

But today is a Saturday so we go on the Express on a Sunday, which means that the very next day we have classes. That sucks like a big, huge, bucket of ticks.

About Lily: she is having troubles with Petunia again, her sister. Petunia thinks Lily's a 'freak' for being a witch, and is an absolute 'witch' in return. You know what kind of witch I'm talking about.

But I sort of know how she feels because Tommy (my oldest brother) was being downright annoying. I wanted to use his record player and he wouldn't let me.

Pissing me off.

PURPLE GERBILS UNITE!

TOMORROW IS HOGWARTS!