Title - Fia'in Summer

Summary -Two lives being led by one person. Buffy Summers is the newly famous punk singer Fia'in Slayer, what happens when her friends find out.

Disclaimer - Not mine! All characters belong to Mutant Enemy and Joss Whedon

Rating - Pg-13, I suppose.

Chapter 14

I must have cried myself to sleep, because when I opened my eyes I was greeted by a fresh day. My eyes hurt from crying and I did not feel like seeing my friends today. However I knew that I would would eventually have to face school I decided to go. Even though my friends now knew who I was, the other students didn't and I had no intention in them finding out, so I dressed in my regular Sunnydale clothes. Knowing Giles was at the gallary already I didn't bother to fake a smile when I went downstairs.

I spent the morning flitting around the house, trying to bide my time before school. It wasn't unitl just before the bell rang that I arrived at the school. Acting as if nothing changed I entered the school and made my way to the locker to grab my books for English.

While grabbing my books from my locker I caught the first glimpse of any of my friends, and I was glad to see it was Spike and Faith. Last night they seemed to be the most understanding, even if they didn't say anything. However I still wary of them. I didn't expect them to be totally understanding that I lied to them, but I hoped that they may have been able to see it form my point, at least slightly.

Not wanting to seem to eager for them to talk to me I turned my attention back to my locker and books. Shutting the locker with a sound 'click', I turned to walk to class and came to face Faith with Spike standing not to far behind her. A soft 'squeak' passed my lips before I was able to stop it.

"Hey B," Faith answered while Spike simply nodded.

Maybe he wasn't going to be as understanding as I first thought. But I was glad to see Faith was at least willing to be a little friendly, and so I decided to start little and work to my bigger obstacles. Hopefully if I could get Faith to understand than at least maybe there was chance that she would be able to talk to the others.

"Hey."

Seeing the conversation wasn't going anywhere unless I prodded it along, I said the first thing that came to mind, "Guys...I wanted to explain."

"Explain what?" Spike asked with a gruffness that I had never heard directed at me..

Looking down at my books I mumbled, "about me being who I am."

"Well than you can explain to us at lunch," Faith answered quietly and with a quick glance up I could see Spike slightly nod in agreement as well.

My eyes started to tear up when she agreed so I simply nodded my head in agreement. It wasn't until they were partly down the hall that I moved towards the class. Just I was entering the English room I glanced up and saw Faith and Spike walking into their class. With a small smile on my face I turned and walked into English.

The smile soon disappeared when I saw Willow and Oz watching me. It was unnerving to be under such scrutiny from my friends, but I knew that it wasn't going to change until I had explained myself and made them understand why I did what I did, so I ignored their unwavering gazes and sat myself in my seat.

I was estatic that Faith was going to allow me to explain. This was going to be my way back into my friends graces, hopefully, and even Willow and Oz's reprimanding gazes couldn't destroy all my hope. So I spent the whole eighty minutes ignoring their, somewhat, converted looks.

Though their looks weren't hard to miss, I hoped my own glimpses at my friends throughout the first part of my day, were less obvious. When I wasn't able to watch them I could feel their gazes on my back and it disturbed me a little, but there was no way that I was about to ask them to cease and desist. After all they now had something to hang over my head, my identity.

Come lunch I was sick of stepping on egg shells around my friends and I just wanted to get my explaination over with. I made my way to the caferetia and stood outside the door ignoring everyone who passed me when the entered. It was about five minutes after the bell that I spotted Faith and Spike, so I gave up my post at the door and walked towards them. It wasn't until I was only feet away that I saw who else was also with them. Angel.

I didn't know if I should have been angry with Faith for telling Angel or raining kisses on her for getting him to listen to me explain. Sure I wanted Angel to understand but I don't know if I had the guts to try and explain to him again after his reaction last night. But I had no choice than to talk to him as well if I wanted Faith to understand and forgive me.

"Hey," I practically whispered when I got close enough for them to hear.

"Buffy hey," Faith was the only one to answer.

"Umm... so where did you want to go?"

I was still nervous so my voice didn't sound as confident as I would have liked and I wanted to kick myself for it. If I continued the way I was going they were going to think that I didn't want to do this after all they might just leave. God, why did my life have to be so hard.

"How about Spike and Angel," Faith pointedly looked at them daring them to say no to her, "go and get our lunches and then meet us out at the bleachers. Sound good," she pointed the question at me.

"Yeah they can meet us out there," I agreed because it was probably the most secluded area of the whole school. Once I agreed I looked towards the guys and said, "don't worry about anything for me I'm not hungry."

I could see Angel's look of disbelieve but I choose to ignore it. After I was finished talking with them I would simply get something from the vending machine. There was no sense in oweing anyone anything if this conversation didn't work out the way I hope it was going to.

"Don't lie Buffy, you eat more than Xander at times and you haven't missed a lunch since you moved here." Angel contradicted me.

Taking a deep breath to tamper my ire I answered him, "I'll get something to eat later, if I get hungry."

Angel stood and said, "I'll get you something to eat."

I tried to argue more but they were already gone and Faith was pulling me towards the bleachers. Knowing that there was no use in being stubborn on this point I let it go and followed Faith outside.

We only had to wait for a few minutes on the bleachers until we saw Spike and Angel walking towards us with a tray of food in each hand. I smiled a small smile, when I saw that Angel hadn't listened to me and had in fact gotten me full tray of food. It filled me with hope that he was still willingly to look after me even after what I had told them.

When they finally step onto the bleachers Angel handed me my lunch and took a seat by Faith and Spike who were seating slightly higher than me. I waited until they were seated and had started eating, before I began to talk.

"I know you're all angry with me but you have to understand I didn't think there was anything else I could do." Angel snorted in disbelieve and I closed my eyes in an attempt to steel myself from his disapproval. "Really, I had kept it from you all for so long I didn't think I would be able to tell you who I was and still have our friendship intact. I was right wasn't I. My secret was told and now my friendships with everyone is one the verge of crumbling." I was on a role and couldn't seem to mind that my voice was rising with each sentence I finished. "You sit there and simmer in your rage and MY SECRET YET MY REASONS FOR NOT TELLING WERE LIGITEMATE."

I jumped as Faith set her hand on my shoulder, "B, calm down."

It was then that I noticed I had stood up during my speech and was talking down to them, literally. It was so embarassing, here I was supposed to be explaining to them why i did what I did and instead I was yelling at them and most likely increasing their anger towards me. Now that all the wind was out of my sail I lightly sat down on the bleachers again.

"Sorry, I got worked up and I shouldn't have."

"Don't worry about just continue," Faith encouraged me while Angel sat watching me quietly.

"My first year here I didn't know who to trust. I was new I had no friends and I didn't know who were going to actually be my friends and who weren't. Leaving LA was so I could live my life as normally without be bothered by the media, and so I didn't exactly want them to find out I had only moved hours away instead of across the ocean."

"What about the second year? You knew who were your friends and who weren't." Spike spoke for the first time, but it still held an edge of uncertainty.

"My second year, believe it or not i was planning to tell all when I returned."

"Why didn't you." And it was the first time I could hear the betrayal in Spike's voice.

"I returned and you were all happy to see me. I was worried about you guys deserting me, and didn't want to chance it anymore by telling you that I was Fia'in Summer. There really is no reason that I couldn't have told you that year except my worry that you would despise me and I was still insecure from being new."

"My third year was simple. I didn't think you would continue to be my firends if you found out who I was really. Especially since I had known you for three years I didn't see how you would have been okay to find out that I was the hottest new singer on the charts."

I could see that Angel was silently agreeing with me one that one. Faith seemed to be fine with it so far and I hoped that I had made her understand my reasonings, because out of my firends she was the most like to let bygones be bygones.

Angel quietly asked, "What about this year? Would you have even told us if you hadn't have had Wesley following you?"

I shook my head in guilt knowing that I wouldn't have told them until the end of the year.

"No. Jesus we would have graduated and never have known," Angel snapped in anger.

"No would you listen. I would have told. I would have, just not this soon. I was going to tell everything closer to the graduation. i want this year to be stress free as possible and I knew that if I let who I was resally out that I would have to deal with the anger of my friends. Tell the truth I was hoping that one or two of you would have understood why I kept this all a secret."

I was close to tears now, and knew if I stayed near them I would breakdown. I started to leave when I felt a warm muscular hand grip my elbow stopping me in my steps. Slowly I turned to make sure I was right about who it was that had grabbed me. To my great elation it was who I hoped it would be. Angel. Angel had stopped me from leaving and it looked like he understood, if not all of my reasons and least some.