The rain was beating hard against the window panes of the truck as we bounced along the muddy road. I could hear the tires roaring through the puddles and the splashes of water hitting us on all sides. It was curious in the fact that I felt as if we were driving underwater-- the truck itself like a tiny piece of sand pushed in and out in the tide. The sporadic and jerky movements of the vehicle did not bother me in the slightest, but it was a different story for my other two companions.

It made Zack restless. He paced up and down wildly through the cargo area of the truck where we were sitting as we were driven to our destination. On numerous occasions I had asked him to sit down, as his irritated state was in turn making me irritated. But he always simply shrugged and answered, "Can't help it, boss. All the flooding around here makes anxious. I mean, what if water comes down the road while we're climbin' the mountain and bowls us over? Not too much for swimmin', boss."

"lieutenant, you will contain yourself or I will force you to." I eventually snapped back at him.

After that, he simply cursed , sat next to Cloud, and let his knee bounce quickly up and down as his only form of release.

Cloud was an intermediate Soldier who happened to be Zack's best friend. Since Zack was my second, he would always accompany me on my missions, and would always request Cloud to be one of his bodyguards so they could stay together. At first I expressed concern for the situation; after all, I didn't want the pair of them along if they proved to be constantly distracted from the objective with social hour. But Zack had promised me early on that nothing would cause him to falter from his duty, and since then he has been true to his word.

Cloud was barely a sixteen-year-old. He proved to be practically useless in battle and he was constantly getting motion sick from any mode of transportation that we cared to take. At the moment he was clutching the railing of the back of the seat in a death grip, trying unsuccessfully to make himself be still despite the bouncing truck. On top of that, whenever I told him to do something, he could never answer me without stuttering. He could never look me in the eye, either. At first I couldn't tell whether this was insubordination or simply cowardice, until Zack enlightened me on the situation.

When I told him what I thought, I remember he laughed long and hard for a few moments, and when he finally had enough breath to speak he said, "You're his hero, Sephiroth. He grew up on war stories about you, just like everybody else in Soldier. Give him a break, will ya?"

Then he had continued to laugh. And I had not understood.

I had never been…around many people during my childhood. I had been told since the beginning that I was a special child and I was meant for great things, but in my heart I felt that I was not much different from anyone else. Then came the wars, and suddenly I wasn't so much of a secret anymore. My name was in every headline of every newspaper across the world. I didn't know why I was famous. After all, I had only killed hundreds of people because I was told to. My life's purpose was to secure world dominion and unity under The Shinra Company, so I really couldn't figure out why exactly I was so popular with the rest of the populace. Didn't they feel that I was stealing their right to choose? Their right to freedom? Even the monsters that I have killed to protect the people were caused by Shinra reactor malfunctions in the first place.

A guardian of mine gave her opinion to me on the matter when I explained to her how confused I was. She told me that the Shinra were trying to make me a hero so that even people who were against Shinra would be inclined to join them. I was a just, kind man in the eyes of the media. If I fought for peace and was also on the Shinra's side, then who could possibly say that the Shinra were bad?

So all the people of the world thought I was a hero because the media had told them that I was. How could I possibly be anyone's idol? If they only knew the truth, they would not think so well of me.

For many months now, I have found myself fixated on this idea. And for some reason, perhaps simply because the subject came up at the same time, I have decided convince Cloud of the truth. I consider him a kind of experiment, if you will. If I can get him to understand that all I have done in my life is take away peoples' choices to decide between being free or not, then perhaps I can have at least one person who knows the true me, instead of some sort of a heroic archetype. I long for this more than anything else. After all, when will I be able to start living my life for myself, and not for my superiors? Was that day ever meant to come for me?

Now was the time to find out.

I often asked myself if I had special interest in Cloud, seeing as he was the target of my first attempt at the experiment. Did I really want him to be the first one who knew me? Did I care for him that much? As I have hinted before, I never much cared for Cloud until one day, whilst I was walking through the barracks of the Soldier training camp near Kalm, I saw him there, sitting by the screen door and writing something furiously on a piece of paper.

I decided to watch him quietly.

It was also raining that day. The sky was a chalky gray and it was miserably humid. All the rest of the first level soldiers that were also training there were taking their free time to sleep or play cards. But not Cloud. He only kept his hand to that piece of paper and kept writing, as if it were the only thing he knew in this world.

Finally, he picked up the paper and held it up to the light of the door a little more. Then he recited what he had written:

"Skies of gray, though you cry, do you feel sadness?

Skies of blue, though deep and rich, do you feel happiness?

Though I am not as blue as you, I want to be happy.

And though I am not as gray as you, I want to be able to shed my tears."

"What tears do you have to shed?" I had asked him, aware that I was rudely interrupting a very private moment. But at the moment I had been touched by the passion with which he had scribbled on that piece of paper. It was a terrible poem, but I loved how he had hunched over it and hardly blinked as he poured his mind into ink on the page. I…don't think I've ever felt such passion for anything in my entire life. Is that what makes someone alive?

He had jumped so quickly that he knocked over the tiny stool he had been sitting on. He then tried to salute but he dropped the pen and paper. When he tried to pick them and the stool up, he turned in circles several times, not sure what to do first.

"I'm so-sorry sir. Captain, sir. I didn't see you there."

Unaware if I should apologize or simply leave, I decided to do neither and I walked up to the screen door and watched the rain. He soon joined me and we stood there together, for many long moments. The smell of the humidity and his sweat were mingling in my nose.

"I asked you a question, Soldier."

"I'm sorry sir."

Still he refused to answer, even though he knew what it meant to refuse information to me. But I suppose it didn't matter. It was a personal question.

"Keep writing." I finally said as I walked away.

"Yes sir." he whispered to my back.

We had not been alone and had not exchanged private words for some time after that.

My gloved fingers shuffled through the papers I had in my hand while there was awkward silence throughout the truck. Finally the driver called back to us:

"About ten miles, Captain."

"Thank you." I called back. I saw out of the corner of my eye Cloud put his head between his knees.

"Will you brief us now, boss?" Zack questioned. "You said you would when we got close."

"Very well." I sighed, tossing the papers to the side. "Apparently, there have been reports of several mutated beasts coming from the Mako Reactor. These mutations have been attacking the townspeople and must be neutralized. Our objectives are to eliminate every last one of them, find the cause for the mutations, and then fix the problem. Understood?"

"Sure, boss. Got it." Zack smiled with a wink.

"How are you feeling?" I asked Cloud, trying to make warm conversation (a skill which I have never been very good at).

The sound of my voice directed at him made him even paler than he already was. I felt slightly guilty about it, but his attempt at a smile in my direction made me feel slightly better.

"Oh, I'm fine, sir. Really." he lied. "A-are we um…close to ho--I mean, the target destination, sir?"

Zack laughed and put Cloud's head in a harsh head lock.

"You excited about seein' mommy, buttercup?"

"Sh-shut up, Zack!"

"Mother?" I asked calmly, interrupting the childish banter.

"Buttercup here's got family in Nibelheim, boss. Its his hometown."

"Really?…Interesting."

They both stared at me as I dove into deep thought.

"Do you have a hometown, sir? Where do your parents live?" Cloud asked.

"…No. I don't have a hometown. My mother was Jenova. She died giving birth to me. My father…."

I laughed out loud suddenly, much to their surprise. This subject for me was of a somber character, and I didn't really wish to speak of it anyway. Perhaps I had only answered it because it was Cloud who had asked.

"What does it matter, anyway? And as long as we're on the subject, what city, pray tell, did the lieutenant plague with his birth?" I asked, attempting to make a joke.

Zack apparently understood the nature of the question and laughed, but Cloud simply looked puzzled.

"Gongaga, boss. South of Costa Del Sol. Real small town- I'd be surprised if you'd heard of it."

Then, suddenly, a large thwapping sound accompanied a severe hit to the side of the truck. My instinct told me to reach for my sword, which I did. I always taught myself to follow my instincts.

I heard fragments of the driver violently turning the steering wheel to the left away from whatever hit us and cursing.

"What the hell was that?"

"Cloud, hey, buttercup, you okay?"

"Yeah, I just hit my head…"

"Boss, hey boss!" Zack yelled at me. "What was that?"

I yanked open the back door to the cargo hold and jumped out of the truck. Quite an unusual site greeted me as my eyes adjusted to the bright gray light of the sky and the droplets of rain falling on my face.

A monstrous green lizard, about ten feet high, was walking along next to the road, heading towards a small cottage. Two men with pitchforks and various other farm tools were trying to fend the beast off from the cottage while a woman screamed on the small porch. Zack and Cloud jumped out of the truck and stood next to me. Thick mud and tiny streams of water made up the road we stood on-- our shoes sinking slowly into the sludge. The three of us unsheathed our swords.

"That…would be one of our monsters." I said calmly.

"We can take it." Cloud said as he began to walk towards the scene. Without a second thought I grabbed his arm and held him next to me. A wave of something I could not explain flooded into my heart-- the best way I could explain it was a protective feeling towards Cloud. I didn't have time to contemplate why exactly I felt this way-- the thought occurred to me briefly that I was in charge and I was simply making sure that there were no unnecessary injuries in the group, but that didn't feel quite right. I promised myself I would think on it later and I handed Cloud his machine gun.

"You cover us, Cloud. Keep away from it and get in a shot when you can. Zack, let's go."

"You said it boss."

Immediately we both ran towards the creature and attacked it from the rear, hoping to distract it from the farmers. When they saw us they immediately ran back into the cottage, perhaps understanding that we could take care of it far better than they could, and they would just be getting in our way. I sliced the Masamune through one of its hind legs and it roared in response. If Cloud had anything going for him, it was that he was an excellent shot and he had already hit it three times close to the eyes. At this rate, the fight would be over before it really began.

Zack jumped upward and came down on it swiftly to give it the final blow. Its head rolled away from its body only to rest in a large puddle of mud. It bled a greenish color and it splattered over the both of us. Zack cursed.

"Damn, that's nasty…" he growled as he shook his hands off. In my observations of the body, I surveyed the number '146' tattooed on the sole of the monster's back foot. Very curious…

I was just about to say good job when I heard a loud roar and a sound of steel cutting into flesh from behind me. I immediately turned around to see Cloud desperately blocking with his sword the giant claws of yet another lizard monster, who was bearing down practically all its weight on the trapped soldier.

"C-Cloud!" Zack yelled. Again in simple instinct I ran to the monster and jumped up on it's back, driving the Masamune strait down into it's neck and killing it instantly. I managed to pull it to the side so it would not fall on Cloud, and when I climbed off of the great hulking body, I saw Cloud lying in the mud, breathing heavily.

Zack and I both ran to him but I reached him first. I felt no awkwardness holding him in my arms-- I felt only concern. A deep, heavy concern that bared down upon every other emotion that I had at the time. Why this was I still didn't know.

His eyes were open and he looked alright to me. The back of his blade had been pushed so deeply into the palms of his hands that they were bleeding profusely, but it was easily fixable. Cloud had always been a very brave soul, but I had never seen anyone take on something as large as that without screaming out in fear or pain. And from the look of his hands, he was in a great deal of pain.

"Captain, sir…" he whispered to me without stuttering. "I'm glad we stopped moving."

I felt myself smile. My God…I was smiling. When was the last time I smiled? I thought to myself.…Ha. I couldn't even remember.

"You did very well." I said, at a loss for anything else to say.