I could feel his tender breath on my face-- the smell of his sweat lingering in my nose, just like that day in the barracks. It was…a very calming smell.

I continued to kneel there in the mud, holding him, not sure what to do next. Zack stood next to us, half-smiling and looking downward. Cloud closed his eyes and his head rolled sideways towards my shoulder.

"Thank ye very much for helpin' us, strangers…pardon me, but are you the Great Sephiroth?"

One of the farmers was standing in the rain speaking to us. I wasn't listening to him. I was only paying attention to the restless beating of my own heart.

"Yeah, we're from Shinra to help with the monster problem." Zack answered the farmer.

"Oh please, then, come inside and have something to eat, won't you? The road gets really muddy when it rains. Not safe to drive." the woman replied.

"Your friend looks hurt. Do you have materia that can help him?"

"Yeah, but he's already used his limit for today. Too dangerous to expose your blood to too much Mako energy."

"Oh then, we can just clean im' up and you can cure him tomorrow when his level's down, eh? Come on inside. Its too cold out here in the rain."

The conversation was still going on when Zack kneeled next to me and put his hand on my shoulder. "Hey boss? Let's go inside, okay? Get something to eat. We'll start fresh tomorrow."

"Yes. Agreed." I finally said. Lifting Cloud carefully in my arms I told the driver to park the truck in the cottage's front yard and to come inside with us. Then we all huddled inside the small living room and were given blankets and towels to dry ourselves off with and stay warm. The lady offered me a bed to put Cloud on, which I accepted gratefully. She offered to clean him up for me but I still felt somewhat responsible for the situation, so I told her it wasn't necessary. I decided to do it myself.

Zack went out to the truck and fetched our bags for a change of clothes. After I threw on another pair of uniform pants and a black shirt, I quickly went back out to Cloud. I took off his boots and his shirt, drying off his wild, blonde hair in the process. Timidly I pulled off his slacks and quickly slid him under the covers so he wouldn't be cold while I searched his bag to find dry clothing. While I sat next to him rummaging through his duffle bag, I stumbled upon a small notebook. It was filled from cover to cover with poetry. It was still horrible poetry, but it was still in that same passionate script handwriting that he had used as he wrote furiously in the barracks. I treasured to read that handwriting.

Why had I never felt anything as undisciplined and wild as this? Why did I take no joy out of any activity in life like Cloud did? These were the questions I asked myself as I slipped the journal back in his duffle bag and retrieved a white undershirt to put on him.

The kind lady came in and handed me some cleaner and bandages for his hands, so I decided to take care of that before finishing everything else. Less chance of infection.

The blankets and sheets of the bed only covered up to the middle of his chest, and my eyes wandered his exposed flesh despite my wishes. They journeyed every curve of him like a mountain path-- though each crevasse, curve and rise. A sixteen year old boy. A boy. …Practically perfect skin. Slight farmer's tan. Tiny scars on his fingers from picking vegetables or climbing rocks or doing whatever it is that boys do. I wouldn't know.

Again my heart was beating faster than it should. I couldn't deny it. I wanted to touch his skin. I wanted to run my fingers through all the crevasses and curves and rises that my eyes had discovered. And not only that, but I wanted to push into his skin. I wanted to move it. But why?

Instinct had stolen away my actions again. After I finished cleaning his cuts and wrapping them, I began to massage his hands and his forearms. I watched hungrily as my thumbs and fingertips pushed into his flesh and displaced it. It fascinated me, the way his muscles moved under the skin. As my hands made circles into the surface, his tissue would also move in circles in rhythm with my hands…commanded by my hands.

We humans are such delicate creatures.

I felt him moving now under my touch. I could tell he was waking up. Undecided if I should pretend to be reading or try to quickly leave or do something else, I finally settled on staying where I was, doing what I was. I slowly came back to reality as Cloud awoke, gently opening those electric blue eyes. Such blue eyes that I have never even seen before.

I could hear Zack and our driver talking with the farmers in the living room, and the clang of pots and pans as the kind lady fixed us dinner in the kitchen. Cloud rolled his head a little to the left, then towards me, his voice groaning softly in his throat. Such a…perfect sound.

After he blinked a few times, his eyes focused on me. When he realized what was happening I felt his arm go tense and he tried to pull away from me; his face turned a bright crimson and he began to stutter again.

"Captain, sir…I-I…did I pass out? I'm sorry…"

I did not let his arm escape my grasp. I continued rubbing my fingers into him as if it were the most natural thing in the world. I didn't want to let go. I felt urgency- I felt alertness. I had to keep holding on to him no matter what it cost me.

"Don't be sorry. It was entirely my fault you got hurt. When you're ready we'll eat and then head to the hotel. Tomorrow we'll cure your hands and start fresh."

I felt him relax in my grip and he sunk back into the pillows. I watched his eyes very carefully-- they hazed over slightly and they became half-lidded.

"I don't want us to waste time just because of me, sir…" he whispered.

"Don't worry about that. To be honest…I'm quite tired myself."

Looking for something to say, I looked out the window briefly. "Its stopped raining." I said.

Cloud smiled. "That's good."

His face was now a little less crimson, but it still maintained a slight blush. As I hit a tight nerve in his knuckle, he groaned with closed lips and closed his eyes entirely.

"Thank you sir. That feels…m…good. But you don't have to do that if yo--"

"I want to."

For a long time he did not answer. His blush deepened every so slightly, but he was smiling.

"Thank you, sir."

Dinner was served not long after our conversation had ended. I had left Cloud alone so he could get dressed, and we all met in the dining room for an excellent vegetable stew.

"So, are you in town long, sir?" the kind lady asked me half way through the meal.

"Only until the town's problem is neutralized." I answered absentmindedly. I had been staring at Cloud the entire time, making sure he was alright. I could tell he was wincing every time he clutched the spoon with his hand and lifted it to his mouth, but he was trying not to show it. Zack sat next to him and occasionally rubbed his back affectionately. Cloud always smiled in a painful sort of way and continued to eat.

"They've given us seven days, so we'll be here that long at the most." Zack added to the kind lady's question.

"Are you going up to the reactor?"

"Eventually, yes."

"Ah, you should take a guide up the mountain, sir. It's a treacherous climb."

"I shall bear that in mind, thank you."

"And how are you doing, young man?" the kind lady asked Cloud.

Zack laughed and patted Cloud on the back. Cloud looked as if he had swallowed something very foul.

"Ma'am, you couldn't of called him anything worse." Zack said. "He hates being babied."

The kind lady looked amused and put her hand on top of Cloud's. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart. I didn't meant to offend you."

"Hey, perhaps you know each other? You know this is Cloud Strife? He used to live in this town."

"I know you, Mrs. Terrace. You used to be my teacher in middle school."

"Cloud…Strife…? Oh yes! Cloud! The short little boy who was always getting teased by the other children. Dear, I heard you went to go join Soldier years ago! You actually did it?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Well, I'm so happy for you, dear. But if you don't mind me saying so, it's a good thing the Great Sephiroth was there today to look after you, otherwise your mother would be heartbroken, am I right?"

Clearly embarrassed, Cloud looked at Zack, then at me. His gaze at me lasted much longer.

"Yes, ma'am. But one day, I'll be much, much stronger."

For yet another reason I couldn't explain to myself, it pained me to see Cloud humiliated like that. So quickly I excused ourselves and we loaded into the truck. After a very warm thank you we drove off and down the road for ten more miles until we reached the city limits. Zack sat across from me, sleeping, and Cloud sat on my right. He kept his eyes closed the entire time, perhaps from the motion sickness. That seemed to be the most logical answer.

I didn't want to think of an excuse. Nervously I pulled one of his hands over to me and unwrapped it slowly so I could examine it fully. He looked at me like a wild animal with a gun in its face. I could feel him shaking violently at my touch.

Was I making him nervous? Was he angry that I was touching him? I assumed not. Assuming is never a safe thing to do, but I wanted this. For once I didn't care what others thought.

"Definitely would need stitches if we didn't have materia." I blurted out. Then I wrapped his hand again but did not let go of it. I let it rest in my grasp on my knee, and slowly I felt his smaller fingers entwine around mine, asking permission without a word. I replied by softly massaging his fingers, absentmindedly.

I had no idea what I was doing.

It wasn't long after that before we were pulling up to the hotel and unloading our bags. The sun was just preparing to set, and there was a hazy cloud of orange over the air.

"I'll carry those for you, buttercup." Zack said, yawning.

"No, that's okay. Thanks Zack." Cloud replied. I saw him gritting his teeth as he picked his bags up, but I let him do as he wished. I respected him trying to prove his worth, though in my eyes, he had already proved it. There was no doubt in my mind at this point that my initial opinion of Cloud was very, very wrong.

Thankfully the hotel had followed my directions and kept our arrival very quiet. I didn't want a bunch of cameras and incessant questions nagging at me at the moment. There was even a waiter with a glass of gin waiting at the front door, just as I had requested. Taking the glass, I sent the other two ahead upstairs as I checked in at the desk.

"Everything is ready for you, sir." The innkeeper said to me as he handed me four keys. I looked carefully at the tags on the keys.

"These keys are for only two rooms. I specifically requested four separate rooms for our party. Why are these to only two rooms?" I asked angrily.

I could tell I had intimidated him. "I am so sorry, Sir Sephiroth, but please try to understand…we are a very small inn. We only have four rooms, and two of those are occupied…"

"We are from the Shinra Company." I barked. "Make accommodations."

Practically livid, I downed the glass in one swallow, slammed it on the desk, stormed up the stairs and opened one of our doors. I took Cloud's bags from his hands and put them in the room, then I took my own from the hall and put them in the same room. They all stared at me, clearly confused as I handed Zack and the driver their set of keys, then Cloud his key.

"I will personally look after Cloud." I stated in a manner that made not a single one of them want to question me. "lieutenant, in one hour you and I will have a meeting downstairs in the lounge. We will then go over possible causes for the mutations and possible locations of the monsters. Moray," I turned to our driver, "You will take the first watch shift. As for Cloud, you are dismissed until 20:00 hours to visit your family and friends if you desire. I expect you back here exactly on time. Is everyone clear?"

"Yes sir." They answered me in unison. And off we all went in our various directions.

I slammed the door behind me and paced one time around the room. Then I opened the door and yelled "GIN!" down the staircase. About thirty seconds later the innkeeper came up with an entire bottle of gin on a tray for me, along with a clean glass. I snapped at him, asking him what had taken him so long, then slammed the door in his face and paced around the room a few more times.

I opened the door once again and screamed, "TONIC!"

A few seconds later, the innkeeper came up with a very large bottle of tonic.

I snatched it and paced a few more times before repeating the actions once again, only this time screaming, "ICE!" but the innkeeper was already standing in the doorway with the ice bucket and tongs, so I had actually simply yelled in his face. A little embarrassed, I murmured a 'thank you' and slammed the door.

Taking a large swig from the bottle of gin, I yanked open all the curtains and found a lovely view. Nothing but tall, shady trees blowing softly in the breeze, slowly shaking each drop of water from the previous rain off their leaves. That helped some. So did the Gin.

I flopped down in a chair and ran my fingers through my thin hair. What was this feeling? Why did it bring me joy and frustration at the same time? I hadn't felt his way yesterday…or the day before that…

Then again, I hadn't seen Cloud in several months.

I had to think of the implications of this thing. If you aren't satisfied, man, you're going to have to ask him if you can pursue it further. That's all there is to it! But even if he says yes, he's your subordinate. Think what it would mean to the company!

To hell with the company. They would let me do pretty much whatever I wanted anyway. Its not like they can say no. I mean look at all the completely-against-policy things that happen between Scarlet, Heidigger, and Palmer…

But you've always thought of yourself as that archetype, haven't you? The hero. The one who follows the rules through and through. Much like Tseng. Well man, its not like you've had much else to base yourself upon , is it?

But why the hell not?

Ask yourself truly. This is the only thing you've ever really, really wanted. You've studied. You're educated. You could probably recite the entirety of old continent art history in an hour! But did you really feel anything about learning those things? Did they ever make you feel like this…? As if rules and regulations and all of it mean nothing at all in the light of this feeling?

And what is this feeling, anyway?

Let us try our best to describe it…

I feel…heat…in the pit of my stomach. Like all of my lower insides are pressure cooking and are about to explode. When I see his skin, there is an…urgency to touch it and keep touching it no matter what happens, as if I can't stop. Whether he wants it or not I want to push myself against him and feel the entirety of his body with the entirety of mine.

I brushed my fingers against my own lips, hoping perhaps to taste Cloud's sweat and smell on them.

You should talk to him.

I hear a knock on the door.

"Boss, you want to start the meeting? Its been a little over an hour."

I'm late? I've never been late for anything in my life, especially something that I myself have planned. What a day.

"Very well. I'll meet you in the lounge shortly." I called out from behind the door.

I could hear Zack's hesitance. "…Whatever you say, boss."

His footsteps echoed down the hall.

I yanked the door open and yelled after him, "And order me some good gin, for Gaia's sake. Not water in a gin shaped bottle."

For over an hour Zack and I poured over maps of the town and reported sightings and observations of the monsters by the townspeople in the miserable, dark lounge. We mildly concluded that the mutations were probably being caused by some security in the reactor shutting down and animals wandering into it and getting infected by something. I decided to leave it at that. The meeting was very dry and both of us weren't in much of a mood to discuss it in detail. Besides, it was getting close to eight o'clock, and I wanted to be back in the room by the time Cloud arrived.

As Zack and I walked up the stairs, he touched my arm and stopped me just as we were about to enter our rooms. I turned towards him and looked intently, waiting.

"Uhm, boss…" Zack began. He rubbed the back of his head and nervously propped himself against the door. It wasn't like Zack to be nervous or timid about anything.

"I dunno if I should tell you this, considerin' I don't really know how you…ya know, feel about um, guys n'all."

"What on Gaia are you talking about?"

"Look, all I'm trying to say is that…ah, please don't tell him I told you but… you're more than just Cloud's hero, boss. He wants to…be with you."

"He is with me. And you. And Moray, and…"

"No, boss, you don't understand what I'm sayin'." Zack continued. Then it dawned on me.

"Look, all I'm sayin' is that he…really cares about you, okay? So you might not want to be too friendly with him. It'll break his heart. Ya know?"

"…Your advice will be duly noted." I said calmly. All the anger had suddenly left me.

Zack finally cracked a smile. "Thanks, boss. Sorry I had to bring it up…to be honest I thought ya'd kill me or something, but…it needed to be said. Thanks for listenin', boss. Oh, and uh…don' t tell Cloud I said anything, will ya?"

"Very well. You and Moray are on watch tonight. Take turns at three hour intervals."

"Yes sir. G'night, sir."