Sam

Dean Winchester's cell phone rang. Again. He looked at the number. It was Dad. Again. His voicemail envelope was still lit up from the last two times John had called. I can't talk to you Dad. Not after all this. He tossed the cell phone in the back seat of the Impala. I need time.

He had been driving for hours and his legs were starting to cramp. He saw an area where he could pull off the side of the road. Dean leaned his head against a signpost before wandering down a path that led away from the side of the highway. He followed the path down to a rather large pond. It was a nice, quiet spot where he could think.

First he kicked things, and then he swore. Finally, he backed against a tree, letting his weight draw him down to a sitting position, head in hands, trying to sort through the tangled web that his life had suddenly become.

He'd said so many ugly things to his dad. Things he hadn't even realized he'd felt. Things that brought tears to the eyes of the unshakable, unstoppable, fearless John Winchester. He'd tried to hide those tears, but Dean had seen them. Dean could hardly remember ever seeing his dad cry.

Dean knew the kind of pain he'd inflicted on his father and guilt rippled through him. Damn it Dad, why couldn't you trust me to handle it? I should have been the one to save them. Angel's my daughter, Lauren would have been my wife. I could have handled it. When are you going to realize that I'm a man?

He took a deep breath and looked around at his surroundings. Water. He remembered the lake that he and Lauren used to sneak off to when his dad was in town and had found the bottom of a bottle the night before, ensuring he'd sleep most of the day. Lauren loved the water. Whenever she needed to think, she would go to the lake and sit on the dock, sometimes for hours. Lauren needed peace, quiet, solitude to sort through her thoughts. Dean preferred noise, noise to drown out his thoughts, his doubts, and the dread that told him he couldn't protect everybody everywhere forever.

Ultimately, he thought of Angel. He had a little girl. She was beautiful and smart. She had a bit of an attitude problem and Dean knew she hadn't just inherited that from her mother. He smiled at the memory of her telling Sam to shut his cakehole in the car. Now that was classic. She was so damn funny. Dean hadn't ever thought much about being a dad. His job was dangerous and it took him away from anything that could resemble home. He didn't want any child of his to have the childhood he had.

At least Angel's life had been somewhat normal. If she was like Sam, she didn't remember the demon coming for her. That damn demon. The demon who took his mom, any shot he and Sam had at a normal childhood, and Sam's girlfriend. The same demon that used Lauren to send a message; the demon who tried to take his daughter. That son of a bitch was going to pay and Dean was the one who was going to collect.

Dean Winchester could list on one finger the things he was really scared of. He would go up against any man, spirit, ghost, beast, or demon, guns blazing, holy water spraying, whatever it takes. Until today, the only thing that really scared him was losing his family. But this wasn't any ordinary day. Today, he was a father, and the thought of it, of everything it meant, terrified him.

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John yelled to Angel to get inside the store as he whipped a sawed-off shotgun from behind the seat in his truck and took aim at the dark figure scurrying behind the building. His shot missed its target. He bolted out of the truck, running to where he had last seen Sam and his abductor, but was met by an empty alleyway. He ran up and down, but there was no sign of Sam anywhere. He had completely vanished.

"Damn it!" he screamed. He went back inside to find Angel. She was waiting behind the counter with one of the waitresses, visibly shaken. "Hi honey," John said to her, "I'm going to take you home."

"I'm not going anywhere with you. I don't know you!" she answered.

He hadn't thought about it, but this kid hadn't actually seen him since she was a baby. My only grandchild and I've missed so much of her life.

"I'm Sam's dad Angel. My name is John. I'm going to call your mom on my cell phone and she'll let you know what to do, ok?"

Angel looked at him, unsure, as he dialed Lauren's number. "Lauren, it's John. Angel's fine, but something took Sam. I'm going to bring her back to your house, then bring you back up here to pick up your truck ok? She doesn't know me, so I told her I would call you so she knew it was ok to come with me. Here she is," John waited for Angel to come get the phone from him but she refused to budge. He leaned across the counter to hand it to her.

She has Dean's eyes, he thought as she looked up at him while talking to her mother. His thoughts drifted to regret, but he snapped back to hunter mode quickly. As he loaded Angel into the truck, he dialed Dean's number. No answer. "Dean," he said when the beep to leave a voicemail sounded. "It's Dad. Something took Sam. Call me." He hung up. After ensuring Angel and Lauren were back home safely, John tried calling Dean again as he drove back to set about trying to find Sam.

He went behind the store again, this time picking up a trail of Sam's blood that he hadn't seen before. He hadn't seen because it was dripping down the side of the building. There was nothing on the pavement underneath. John climbed up a ladder and cautiously crept along the roof of the building, following the trail of blood that had been left behind as this thing had dragged Sam away. It ended just outside a small door that led into a large utility area on the roof. Gun poised, John opened the door.

"Oh God, Sammy?" he moaned when he saw Sam's body propped up in a corner. Whatever had taken him had apparently decided that it wasn't worth a battle and had fled. He checked Sam's pulse, but felt nothing. He pulled him out on the roof and began CPR. "Come on Sammy, breathe, damn it son! Breathe!" At last he got some breath sounds, but very shallow. He carefully got Sam off the building and into his truck. He called Lauren to let her know what was going on, then called Dean, leaving another message.

Lauren and Angel arrived at the hospital at the same time John was bringing Sam in. "What are you doing here?" John said as Sam was rushed off by the medical staff.

"This thing is trying to pick people off and you expect me to sit in that empty house? I'd like to have at least one Winchester at my side right now, thanks!"

"If it makes you feel any better, this thing wasn't the demon," John said.

"Angel said it was attacking someone in the parking lot and Sam tried to help him. Then it turned on Sam," Lauren told him.

More than two hours later, the doctor came out of the emergency area to speak with John. "He's in pretty bad shape. All we can do is wait and see." John's shoulders sagged.

Lauren took Angel's hand. "When can we see him?"

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Dean decided that what he needed was to get his mind off everything and everyone else in his life. The sun was setting anyway, so he found a bar and went in to drown his sorrows in alcohol and pretty ladies. The alcohol numbed his senses and the ladies were very pretty indeed. When he woke up at noon the next day, his cell phone was still in the back seat of the car.

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John didn't know what to do. Part of him was worried that something had happened to Dean too, but he didn't want to leave Sam in case the worst happened. He snapped the phone shut. Dean, you're a man now, I have to trust that you're ok. I have to believe that you're just really pissed off at me. Please check your voicemail. Get here son, Sammy may not have much time.

He took a deep breath and found Lauren and Angel in Sam's room. Lauren was on one side of the bed and Angel was on the other. Lauren held Sam's right hand in her left hand, and Angel's left hand in her right hand. Angel held Sam's left hand in her right. They both had their heads bowed and eyes closed.

"Any change?" John whispered to Lauren quietly, breaking her concentration. Lauren looked at him and shook her head no. Angel kept her head down and eyes closed. "What are you doing?" he asked Lauren.

"I'm praying. Angel is trying to help Sam in her own way," Lauren smiled.

"Thank you Angel," John uttered quietly. She opened one eye to look at him and mouthed, "You're welcome, Papa." John blinked back tears as the little girl's warm smile greeted him.

"Come on Sam, come back to us. Your family needs you." Lauren looked at John thoughtfully. "Your whole family." She squeezed Sam's hand firmly.

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Dean squinted against the harsh sunlight that greeted him as he pulled the motel room door shut behind him. He turned in the key and decided what he really needed was a steaming cup of coffee and break… he looked at his watch… brunch.

He was relieved to not have Sam complaining about having to find Dad and finding the demon and I want to go back to school when this is all done. He finished his eggs and bacon and gave a cheerful smile to the waitress as he left. Ah hell, Sam would be worried about him. He searched his pockets and then remembered that he had tossed his cell phone in the back seat. He fished it off the floor and looked at the display. 17 missed calls. He began to scroll through them: Dad… Dad… Dad… unknown… Dad… Dad… Sandy (grin)… Dad… Dad, etc. "Freak!" he muttered to himself as he saw all but two of those calls were from his father. He found it odd that Sam hadn't called. Sam had to have known by now that he and Dad had a fight. He rolled his eyes and dialed his voice mail. His facial expression quickly changed as he went through the messages one by one before jumping into the car and speeding back to Tampa.

Who's Your Daddy?

Dean came flying into the emergency room entrance for the hospital, pausing only long enough to find out which room his brother was in. When he got there, he found John hovering over Sam, looking anxious.

"How is he?" he asked quietly.

John looked at him, disappointment written all over his face. "He'd be a hell of a lot better if you'd done your job and looked out for him. How could you just take off like that, and then not answer your phone? What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Sorry Dad, I was a little wrapped up. Kinda just found out I was a father and all." Dean said with more than his usual snark.

"Well, give the boy a medal! He abandons his child and her mother as soon as he learns the news. Your brother had to pay the price for your temper tantrum!" John practically exploded.

"Take it outside," Lauren said, entering the room.

"What are you doing here?" Dean asked angrily.

"Sam needs his family," she replied.

Dean's jaw dropped. "That little girl out there," he said, pointing to Angel standing just outside the room, "is his family. You're not!"

"Dean!" John said, raising his voice again.

"No John, it's ok," she said. She looked at Dean pointedly. "But that's your brother Dean, the person you love most in this world. He's done nothing wrong. He needs peace. He needs rest. But more than anything else right now, he needs you." With that she left the room.

Dean and John glared at each other but neither said anything. After Dean's fifth loud sigh, John finally took the hint and went for a walk. Alone with his unconscious brother, Dean was able to let his walls down a little. He felt the tears sting his eyes as he took Sam's hand in his own, willing him to get better. "I'm sorry Sammy, I should have been there. I know I let you down. I'll never do it again, I promise. You have to pull through this Sam. I'm going to be selfish here. I need you." He looked toward the door. "I don't know if they told you, but you're an uncle. Angel's my kid, can you believe that? Sam, I don't know how to be a father; I need your help here. I can't do this. Come on Sam, open your eyes, tell me I'm an idiot, make fun of me, something!"

He didn't move from Sam's side until his father came back in several hours later. "Why don't you take a break, I'll sit with him for a while."

"He's my responsibility," Dean said.

"Little late for that now, don't you think?" John replied.

Lauren was right about one thing; Sam didn't need them fighting right now. Dean left the room, grabbing a cup of coffee in the cafeteria before walking into the waiting room. The lights were dimmed. He noticed someone lying on the couch. Dean looked at his watch. It was late. After his eyes adjusted to the light, he realized that it was Lauren, with Angel on her chest, both asleep. Dean moved a little closer, careful not to disturb them. He stared at Angel, arms wrapped around her mother's neck, a wisp of hair across her peaceful face. He reached over and pushed the hair back in place, letting his hand rest on her head for a long moment. I'm sorry Angel. I know I let you down. I've let everybody down.

He went back to Sam's room and he and John sat there in silence, alternating between staring at each other in disgust and staring at Sam, willing him to live. The next morning, Angel walked into the room alone, asking to sit with Sam. John helped her get up on the bed, and she took hold of Sam's hand again, like she had Lauren's before. John left the room, motioning to Dean to leave them alone. Dean shook his head no.

He stayed, watching Angel and Sam together for a few moments before walking out into the hallway. Lauren was staring out the window, with John behind her. Neither of them saw Dean standing there. "You're as much a part of this family as any of us Lauren," he said.

She shook her head, "No I'm not, Angel is. Dean was right about that."

"You're her mother, Lauren. You raised her from birth, all by yourself. You never asked for anything from this family. You've sacrificed over and over again for her. Angel's family by birth, but you're family in every way that matters."

John's hand was on her shoulder now and Lauren placed her hand on top of his. "That means a lot to me. But it doesn't change the past, it doesn't right the wrongs, it doesn't undo the hurt. Have you known me to be anything but a straight shooter?"

John chuckled lightly, "No, you pretty much say exactly what you feel and to hell with what other people think about it. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you had Winchester blood in you. What's on your mind?"

"Go easy on him John," she said. "We've had years to make peace with everything that's happened. This is all new to Dean. What you said to him wasn't fair."

"Still the eternal peacemaker I see," he replied.

"I missed them all these years, John. I wish we could go back to the three musketeers thing we had going on, but those days are gone. We're all grown up now. I love all of you, but you were unfair to blame him. You made Dean believe that what happened to Sam was his fault. It wasn't, and you know it. You can't tell me that there is not a point in any given day where the two of them are not together. Sam wasn't targeted, he got hurt trying to help someone else, and that's all. It's terrible and scary, but it's not Dean's fault."

Dean slipped down the corridor before either of them knew he had been there. When he came back, he saw John still standing by the window. He glanced into Sam's room and saw Lauren and Angel standing by Sam's bed, laughing. He didn't hear John's approach.

"He's awake Dean. He's going to be ok. Angel must have gotten through." Dean looked in on his brother and felt a huge wave of relief sweep over him.

"Does Sammy know?" he asked.

"That he's an uncle? Not yet. Lauren wanted to wait to talk to you. Although I guess Angel overheard us talking and figured out that I'm her grandfather. I don't think she's connected all the dots yet."

The next day Sam was released and Lauren invited them all to stay at her house. "There's plenty of room," she'd said. John said he had gotten a call from one of their contacts about something going up in Kentucky, but Lauren had a gut feeling that he was just leaving so that Dean would have some space. Sam agreed to stay at Lauren's but Dean decided to stay in a local motel instead. He'd come to see Sam during the day and leave in the evening. He refused to speak to Lauren at all.

A few days later, Sam opened the door to get the morning paper and found Dean about to knock on it. He let him in. Lauren and Angel were in the kitchen and Dean started to walk in to grab a cup of coffee when he overheard them talking.

"I hope Dean doesn't come by today Mommy," Angel said. Dean's brows furrowed as he stood in the doorway outside the entrance to the kitchen.

"Why would you say something like that Angel?" Lauren asked.

"Well, when he's here, you're sad. And I don't like the way he looks at you; it's mean. Why does he hate you?" she asked.

"I don't think he hates me honey. Sometimes grown ups get their feelings hurt. We're not like you kids who are really smart and know that the most important thing is…"

"Your family and friends. You have to show them how much you love them everyday because one day you may not have a chance to do it anymore," Angel finished for her.

"I see one of our talks has finally sunk in," Lauren smiled at her. "You see, we grownups aren't always that smart and it takes us a long time to let go of the things that hurt us. It's hard for us to focus on the important stuff when we hurt."

"So Dean's mad at you because you hurt him?" Angel asked.

"I didn't mean to honey, but yes, I did. I lied to him about something very important a long time ago. He just found out about it, and he's having a hard time understanding it. Don't be mad at him; he has every right to be mad at Mommy." Dean was surprised at the candor Lauren used with Angel. No wonder the little girl was so intuitive.

"Do you miss my Daddy Mommy?" Angel asked.

"Every day of my life honey," Lauren answered sadly.

"I know you said my daddy died. Do you think he loved me?" she asked.

"If he'd had a chance to know you Angel, he'd have shown you every day just how much he loved you. And I know he would be very, very proud of what a brave, smart young lady you've grown into," Dean heard Lauren's voice crack as she said the words.

"Mommy?" Angel asked again.

"Hmmm?" Lauren replied absentmindedly, her thoughts drifting to Dean then.

"If I could pick anyone to be my Daddy, it would be Sam."