Aftermath

Lauren suggested that Dean pick up Sam, feeling that it would be dangerous for him to be alone, especially if they got close to finding Meg. She had already taken advantage of the family being separated once to take Angel. Dean wanted John to come too, but he thought that would be too enticing for BigBad and insisted they weren't ready for that confrontation yet.

Lauren said she couldn't face going home yet and was going to stay at the cabin. Sam still had three weeks before semester break, so they agreed that Dean would drive back to Tampa to pick him up when class let out. He didn't like it, but Lauren promised him she would be at the cabin when he returned.

"Are we going to talk about them," Dean finally asked Lauren after two days.

"Talk about what," Lauren asked.

"The nightmares," he replied. "Same time every night, 2 am, you wake up from a nightmare. And you're not sleeping well to begin with. Talk to me."

"Dean, Angel died at 2 am," Lauren said quietly. Dean's shoulders slumped. He hadn't put it together. He felt like an idiot. "I didn't realize you knew about the dreams," Lauren continued. "I told you I wanted to sleep in the other room."

"That's not going to fix anything," he said.

"It might help actually. I don't like hurting you Dean, but I just can't be with you. I don't know if I'll ever be able to go back to what we had. Wouldn't it be easier if…"

"No, it wouldn't," he said, cutting her off. "Tell me about them."

"Come on Dean, our daughter died. That's enough to give anyone nightmares," she said.

"I'd buy it if you didn't keep calling out 'Mom' or 'Dad' over and over again when you're having them," he said.

Lauren was stunned. Is that who I'm dreaming about? They didn't die in a fire, Dad was killed in a car accident and Mom had a stroke. "What?"

You keep saying "Mom No!" and "Dad No!" in your sleep before you wake up," Dean answered.

"Dean, I don't even remember the dreams when I wake up," she said, looking away from him.

"You're not being honest with me Lauren. You've got to talk to me about this, let me help you!"

"You can't help me Dean, I just need time. I've been through a lot, so have you. Everybody handles things differently. I just need time," she turned away from him then and walked out to the lake.

Dean sighed. He didn't feel right having to leave her there, but it wasn't fair to force her to go back home after what had happened there. He couldn't be two places at one time, and it was weighing on him. He would feel much better when all three of them were together and he could protect them both.

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Lauren had taken to her "training" like a pro right from the get-go. She had handled guns before and she was as good as Dean in computer skills so he just had to give her a few clues on search terms. They agreed they would start with "smaller" stuff. The kinds of things he and Sam had hunted while they were searching for John after Dean got Sam out of school.

The weight training was tough on Lauren. She had lost so much weight in the weeks following Angel's death that a lot of her muscle had gone with it. Dean hadn't suggested the weight training. That was Lauren's idea. She didn't want anything getting the upper hand on her, thus endangering Dean, Sam, or anyone else, because she wasn't strong enough.

A nice side effect of the physical training was the pain. The pain kept her from thinking about the other things which tried to get her attention. The nightmares and lack of sleep were starting to take their toll on her body, but the pain helped her focus. The pain kept her going.

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It was time for Dean to go get Sam. He eyeballed Lauren as she sat cross-legged at the table, glued to her laptop screen once again.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, just tired," she replied.

"Computer screen can't be helping any," he feigned a smile.

"I'll be fine. Get out of here, go get Sam so we can get started on the real thing," she almost smiled and there was a hint of light in her eyes as she'd said it. Dean could tell she was going to be good at hunting, it just scared him. But the best way for him to protect her was to not let her out of his sight and that's why he hated leaving her. He would give up hunting forever if it meant keeping her, Sam and Dad safe. But he knew that hunting would never give him up. Something was always going to find him. He was a target now, his whole family was. And it ate away at him.

He was giving her instructions as he walked to the door so she'd walked with him. She saluted him and said "Yes sir," as he opened the door.

"Hey, this stuff is important Lauren…. Jesus, I sound like Dad!" he said. He looked at her now, glad to see some of her color had returned and she was putting a little weight back on, albeit not much. "Be careful," he said. "I'm driving straight through and back. I should be back in three days."

"OK, three days," she said.

"I love you," Dean said. She said nothing, giving him that same I'm sorry look she always did when he told her that anymore, and cast her eyes downward. He turned to head for the Impala.

"Dean?" Lauren said behind him.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for leaving the journal so I can study up while you're gone."

"No problem," he said, turning again to walk to the car.

"And Dean?" she said again.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for not giving up on me," she said.

"Never!" he replied, smiling a little, coming back to the doorway and kissing her forehead, cupping her cheek in his hand. His breath caught when she put her hand on his own and held it for half a second. It was such a small thing, but he knew it was huge for her. "And I'm not giving up on us either," he said, making eye contact with her then and holding it so that she knew he meant what he was saying. "I know you still love me Lauren, I can feel it. Even if you can't."

She deflected this by rolling her eyes at him, then sighed and said, "You just want down my pants, Dean Winchester," giving him the first real smile he had seen since Angel died, winking despite herself. He'd thought he would never see that smile again.

"Best I ever had," he smiled back at her.

"That's a real compliment considering your history," she said, trying to sound serious but he could tell she was teasing him.

"Ouch," he said, putting his hand over his heart, taking a step or two backwards like he'd just been hit with something. "It's still true!" he said, winking back at her.

She shook her head, put her hand on his face, and pushed him out the door, closing it behind him as he walked to the car, grinning all the way.

After closing the door, Lauren sat down, smiling for a moment before putting her head in both hands and running them through her hair. She sat there for several minutes without moving.

No rest for the wicked, she said to herself finally, digging her cell phone out of her purse in the bedroom and then dialing in a number. A man's voice picked up.

"Hey, it's me. I don't have much time. What have you been able to find out?" She wrote down some information in a note pad she had tucked inside her laptop case, and then flipped through the journal Dean had left. "I thought so," she said finally. "OK, let me know if you find out anything else, ok? Thanks."

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Sam tossed his bags into the trunk of the Impala before climbing into the driver's side so that Dean could get some sleep.

"What happened with Lauren," he asked as Dean leaned his head back.

"Nothing really," Dean replied.

"Are you guys…"

"No Sam, we didn't get back together. She said she needs time," Dean said a little stiffly. He didn't want to answer "relationship" questions right now.

"How's she holding up?" Sam asked.

"She's still having nightmares every night. Hers are a lot worse than the ones I had in the beginning," he said.

"I didn't know you were having nightmares, why didn't you tell me?" Sam said, a little angry.

"What good would it have done? Our kid just died Sam, I knew I'd have to process it and thought it was natural," he said.

"Are you still having them?" Sam asked.

"Nope," Dean answered.

"Dean?" Sam said.

"Seriously man, they stopped."

"When?" Sam asked.

Dean thought about it for a minute. "The day I found Lauren at the lake." Hmm, that's weird. He settled in against the window to get some sleep.

"Dean?"

"Yeah Sam?" he answered.

"I don't think Lauren should be part of this. It's too dangerous," Sam said resolutely.

"I agree," Dean said.

"Then why did you tell her she could help?" he asked.

"Because if I didn't agree to help her, she'd call Dad. Worse yet, she'd go off on her own. She's no match for Meg. So we train her, take her out on some hunts; let her feel like she's doing something productive. I know how she feels about this Sam, I don't blame her. This will help keep her mind busy while she's working through everything that's happened."

"What about Meg and her father?" Sam asked then.

"Trust me," Dean said. "When it's time for that fight, Lauren won't be anywhere around. I'll make sure of it. In the meantime, I can keep her safe. Once I've taken out Meg and Big Bad Daddy, Lauren can finally have some peace."

"Don't you mean you both can have some peace?" Sam corrected him.

"Yeah, we all can have some peace then Sammy," Dean said, his voice drifting off as sleep tried to take its hold. "Wake me up when it's my turn to drive."

Starting Over

Lauren was surprised at how lonely she felt after Dean had left to go get Sam. It was like the hole in her heart had just opened up again. She used to love spending time alone. It didn't matter now, she had to focus. She had three days to try to figure out what the dreams meant. She knew they had to mean something. She spent her time doing research, training, or sitting by the lake, which was the only source of peace that she had. She felt a connection to Angel there somehow, looking out over the water. She'd always wanted to bring Angel there, to where she and Dean had fallen in love, where Angel had been conceived. It seemed right that she would feel closest to their daughter here.

She walked back into the house to make something resembling lunch, tripping over the laptop case as she'd walked past the table in the living room and stubbed her toe. Dammit, she cursed silently to herself, stupid case! And that's when it first happened. The laptop case slid across the floor like she had kicked it, but her foot was nowhere near it when it happened. She stood motionless for a full minute. It's official; I've lost my mind!

Two days later, she was reading and reached for the iced tea she had left on the coffee table, tipping in her chair. She could reach the end of the table, but not the glass. She didn't feel like getting up and was frustrated. Suddenly, the glass moved across the table to her hand. Of course it ended up on the floor, along with herself and the chair because she was so freaked out by the whole thing that she jumped, the weight shifting in her chair enough to tip it over and dump her on her butt. She'd chalked the other day up to lack of sleep and just not realizing she had kicked the case and convinced herself it hadn't really happened. This was unmistakable. That glass had really moved. Ok, maybe there is a supernatural force at work here, a presence in the house. But deep inside, she knew that wasn't the case.

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Dean was relieved when he pulled up to the cabin and saw Lauren's truck sitting there in the drive. He had been a little worried that he would come back and find her gone.

"Lauren," he said as he entered with Sam on his heels. "We're back," he looked around the living room and poked his head in the bedroom. "She's probably out back," he said as he started for the back door.

Sam had followed him out. Lauren was sitting on the dock staring out at the water with her back to the cabin. Dean wasn't kidding when he warned me about how thin she is. His eyes went from Lauren's back to Dean as he caught the slump in Dean's shoulders after seeing her there.

"Mind if I go talk to her?" Sam asked.

"Go ahead," Dean said resignedly.

"This has to be a mistake, it can't be me; I'm not strong enough" Lauren was mumbling quietly and shaking her head as Sam approached. She stopped talking suddenly, with her back still to the cabin. "Hi Sam," she said.

"Lauren, how did you know it was me?" Sam asked.

Lauren hesitated for a minute, thinking. "I don't know; I just did."

"It's getting cold out Lauren, why don't you come inside and get warmed up," Sam said, noting the goose bumps on her arms.

"In a little while," she answered.

Sam walked around her then, sitting down in front her, sliding his legs under hers so they were like two pairs of scissors, edging closer to her, creating a diamond shape between their two torsos.

"Glad I'm wearing jeans," Lauren said sarcastically. "When did your legs get so long?"

"You remember this?" Sam said.

"You're hopeless, you know that Sam?" she said shaking her head.

"Yeah, but you love me," he smiled at her.

She remembered when they first met, before he went away to school. Whenever Lauren was upset about something and would clam up, Sam would sit with her like this, and pull her chin up, invading her personal space and giving her that look until she told him all her troubles.

"It's beautiful out here Lauren; I can't believe I lived in this town and didn't know about this place," Sam said then.

"Yeah, it is. Dean and I used to come out here a lot…" her voice trailed off and she was quiet again. Sam pulled her chin up now and looked her straight in the eyes, expectantly.

"Good God, you've perfected the puppy eyes," she said after about ten seconds. He smiled then.

"I'm your friend, I always have been," he said.

She looked away from him then and back at the water. "I know you are Sam." She took a deep breath. "I talk to Angel out here a lot," she said.

Sam nodded. "I know it's hard Lauren, but…"

"She answers me Sam," Lauren said suddenly, standing up then and walking to the edge of the dock.

Sam's brows furrowed. He got up and walked over to stand behind her, quiet and waiting for the rest.

"I'm going insane! I can feel my mind just slipping away Sam," she said. Sam put his hands on her shoulders, running them down the length of her arms to rest his hands on hers. "I don't know what to do anymore. Something's happening to me and I don't know what it is." She leaned back against him now as silent tears ran down her cheeks.

"You're not going insane Lauren," Sam said, squeezing her gently and reassuring her. "You've just been through hell."

Dean looked on from a window inside the cabin, trying to fight the hurt that he felt that Lauren would feel like she could be more comfortable with Sam than with him. Don't be stupid Dean; at least she's talking to somebody.

He watched them there for a few minutes, then saw them walking back up the dock toward the house holding hands and had to remind himself what good friends they had become before Dean had gotten involved with her and again after they'd all moved in together, when he'd shut her out and she was hurting so badly about it. Sam might be exactly what she needs right now. When they walked in the door, he could see that she'd been crying. She surprised him by walking past him, pausing long enough to whisper "I'm glad you're back," her lips lightly brushing his ear as she got close, leaving goose bumps in their wake.

He looked at her then, curious, as she walked into the kitchen. "You guys must be hungry," she said. "I'll make dinner."

Dean looked at Sam after she disappeared around the corner. "Well?" he asked.

"She's a little unsure of herself right now, but I think it's to be expected," Sam answered.

Dean started tapping his foot, thinking.

"What?" Sam asked.

"Nothing," Dean replied.

"What?" he asked again.

"It's just," he sighed, "I wish…"

"You wish she could talk to you more, not confide in me?" Sam said, striking Dean with how perceptive he was. Dean shrugged.

"She doesn't feel threatened by me Dean. She just needs a friend, a real friend that she doesn't feel pressured to give something that she's not able to give right now," Sam said matter-of-factly.

"She told you that?" Dean asked; he had done his best not to pressure her.

"No, but she knows how you feel. You guys pretty much talk to each other without saying a word; it's like you have this mental connection or something. It doesn't go unnoticed," Sam smiled. "I think deep down she wants to reconnect with you, she's just not ready."

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A week later they went on their first hunt as a team, a spirit of a teenage girl who had been murdered by her cheating boyfriend after she'd told him she was pregnant.

Dean was so worried about where Lauren was that he walked right into a hallway without looking first, checking behind him to see where Lauren had gone off to. The spirit was right there and promptly knocked the gun out of his hand. He heard, "Drop!" from his right as the thing took a swing at him and Sam took it out in one shot.

Lauren walked over to where Dean was on the floor and reached down to help him up. "Dumb ass!" she called behind her as Dean was still dusting himself off.

"Saved your ass again!" Sam smirked as he and Dean fell in behind Lauren on the way to the front door.

"Shut up Sam," Dean said, more than a little embarrassed.

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She was a natural, and with every hunt, a little more of the old Lauren started to show itself. A smile here, a laugh there, mostly when she saved one of the brothers after they did something stupid. This was exactly what she needed.

But the dreams never left. They still haunted her at night. And she still got up each night at 2 am, sweating and scared and unsure of herself. Dean knew she would go somewhere quiet, log into her laptop and sit there until dawn, looking for the next hunt, researching.

They were closer now, starting to rebuild what they had before, but it had been a slow process. It had been nearly eight months since Angel's death and Lauren was just now able to start to be affectionate with Dean again, mostly in spontaneous moments when she wasn't really thinking about it. A wink here, a flirty smile there, a kiss every now and then, and the sarcastic comments were flying freely like they used to.

Sam tried not to say anything, afraid of jinxing it for Dean. He was happy again, and Lauren seemed to be getting her self-confidence back. They had brought beer back to the room after finishing up their latest hunt and Lauren hadn't built her tolerance all the way back up again, so she was a bit tipsy after only two. They had been going through their teasing thing again in Sam's hotel room (they had adjoining rooms) while he was trying to catch up on his e-mail.

"Will you two get a room already?" Sam finally said, exasperated.

"We already have one!" Lauren laughed. Dean looked at Sam, cocking his head to one side and half chuckling as he shrugged his shoulders. He'd had enough beer at this point that he was starting to hit his groove. Lauren stepped through the doorway to the room she and Dean were in, poking her head back through and pointing at Dean with her index finger, crooking it back to motion him into their room with a "come hither" look on her face.

Dean smiled and got up, then caught himself. "I couldn't take advantage of you in this situation," he whispered in her ear quietly after thinking about it.

"Screw that," she said, grabbing his arm then. "You need to learn to have a little fun in your life Dean!" He pulled away long enough to grab two more beers from the fridge, raising his eyebrows at Sam as he allowed Lauren to drag him into the next room again.

"Goodnight Sammy!" he said, winking as he started to close the door behind him, his eyes lit up in the biggest grin Sam had seen since Angel's death. Damn you Meg!

"It's about time!" Sam called after them as he slung a pillow at the doorway, laughing.

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A few weeks later, Dean got up one morning to find Lauren sitting at the little coffee table in their motel room, laptop open, rubbing her temples forcefully. The fact that she had quickly switched screens when he sat up in bed had not gone unnoticed.

"Another headache?" he asked, then heard a knock at the door.

"I'm fine," she answered, getting up to greet Sam as he came over for morning coffee. Sam always came over to their room as soon as he woke up.

"Hi Sam," she feigned a smile as she headed out the door. "I'm going for a run," she called over her shoulder to Dean as she left.

"What's wrong with her?" Sam asked Dean as he closed the door behind him.

Dean sighed. "She says nothing."

"That wasn't a real smile, you guys have a fight?" Sam asked.

"Nope," Dean answered, "but she's hiding something. How are your computer skills these days little brother?"

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Lauren came back in about an hour later dripping sweat. Dean and Sam were sitting at the coffee table in front of the laptop.

"I'm going to get in the shower. You boys find something for our next job," she asked, taking the ponytail holder out of her hair.

"Not sure yet," Dean said. He seemed angry.

"What's up?" Lauren asked, walking back over to where they were sitting, as Dean turned the laptop screen so that she could see it.

"Mind explaining this?" Dean asked evenly, as the screen revealed an old newspaper article with a picture of a baby wearing an amulet exactly like the one she had given Dean.