I'm terrified to live at the moment… Gunnar could be anywhere, and I'm too afraid to tell anyone what happened in the lab… would they believe me, anyway? I took the day off today. So far, I've just sat by the radiator, huddled under a blanket, and rocked back and forth while staring at the snow. Memories… so many memories are flooding back. Like the night before Angel's kidnapping.

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I bit my lower lip as I stared at my pale face in the mirror. I was 14, ugly, awkward looking. Tears welled up in my eyes as I thought of my life… how alone I was, how no one seemed to love me. My parents were asleep. I snuck into the kitchen and silently pulled open a drawer. With shaky breath, I pulled out a small knife, slid the drawer back shut and went into my room. I stared at my wrist. Sobbing hysterically, I placed the cool metal to my wrist. I pressed down hard and was about to draw it across my vein when I heard someone move at the door. Frantically, I threw the knife behind me and turned to look at my door. Angel stood in the doorway, an overlarge shirt hanging from her small figure. Her eyes were filled with hurt questioning.

"What are you doing, Alexis?"

"Nothing, Angel. Go back to bed, you have school tomorrow." She walked towards me, looking like she was about to cry.

"Why would you do that Alexis?" Dammit, she had seen me.

"No one cares about me… I'm so stupid, so fucking ugly. No one will ever love me, don't you get that!" She climbed onto my bed, wrapping her small arms around me.

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, Alexis. Someone will love you. I love you. You're my sister. I love you with all my heart. And I think you're smart and pretty." She placed her palm on my face, staring into my eyes. "Okay?" I nodded, choked up. She nodded back and slid off my bed. Then she turned and grinned at me like nothing had happened. "I love you, sis. Goodnight."

I waited until she left the room, then I picked up the knife again. I started to place it to my wrist, but then I realized my heart wasn't in it anymore. I put it back in the drawer and slid under my covers, thinking about what my brilliant baby sister had said.

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Gunnar's face flashes into my brain again, interrupting my last night with my sister. Those cruel green eyes… I feel like I've seen them before. I try to shake that image out of my head, but then another comes… Sam. Sam and stupid San Francisco… how could I have ever been so blind? I refuse to let myself dwell on it… I wipe away my tears and force myself up off the floor. The snow is still coming down in huge flakes, but that doesn't stop me from letting the door click shut softly behind me.

My breath mists in front of my face, and my toes seem like they're going to freeze off. I could have at least grabbed some shoes. But no, I'd rather wander the snowy Vegas streets in nothing but a bra, a nightgown, and a robe. The end. Hugging my arms around myself, I walk. I'm not really sure where I'm going. I don't think it matters.

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When I finally get home, my eyes are swollen from crying, my feet are numb from the cold snow and I can hardly breathe. God knows how many colds I caught out there. I pick up my phone and hear that there are messages. Shivering, I enter the code and listen again.

"Alexis? It's Greg. Listen, I'm worried about you. Sara said you seemed really freaked out yesterday, and I wanted to come over but Grissom said you were sick and he couldn't have anyone else get sick… look, I don't know what's going on…" his voice trailed off, and Alexis grinned. "I'm rambling! Geez. Okay. Well, please call?" there was a click, and Alexis saved the message. The next one started playing. There was no voice… just music… her breath caught in her throat as someone started singing to the music.

Shut up
I don't ever wanna hear you say that again
Baby, I'm not goin nowhere
Look at me, you understand me?

What gave you the silly idea...that I'm about to leave,
Girl, who you be listenin' to...they must be crazy.
Look back and see our past and all the shit that we've been through,
I'll be damned if I'm gonna let this bull crap take me away from you.
Cause I've vowed to give my all and girl I'm a man of my word,
And on that word I'll stand tall bein' without you sounds absurd.

You never have to question the love I have for you,
Girl, I will put my life on bended knees for you.
Ask all my friends they'll tell you you're all I talk about,
Even when I go to sleep you're the only one I dream about.
See I'm your picture, girl and baby you are my frame,
That's why I know our love will stay the same.

So dry your weeping eyes weeping eyes girl I'm by your side,
Just trust me I'm that guy I'm in it for the long ride.

I will never leave, no
You don't have to worry, girl I'll be right there for you
I will never leave, no
Baby, can't you see that I was born to be with you
I will never leave, no
God put us together nothing can't take that away
I will never ever leave, no
Now until forever I'll be with you the rest of my days

Alexis' eyes were wide with fear. He had found her. Even from goddamned jail, he had found her. She hurled the phone against the wall, not caring the slightest bit when it shattered. Tears blurred her vision and she whirled around to lock her door. As she was fumbling with the deadbolt, a loud knock came from the other side. Alexis breathed in sharply.

"Why can't you just leave me the hell alone! You got what you wanted! Leave me alone!" She firmly locked the deadbolt and fled into her bedroom, sobbing hysterically on her bed.

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Greg's eyes were watery and wide. He just stared, disbelieving, at Alexis' door. What had he done wrong? Alexis had screamed at him like he was attacking her! Not allowing himself to cry, Greg let the bouquet of roses drop to the ground and he dejectedly got in his car and drove home.

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Alexis had dozed off without meaning to; tears still lay wet on her cheeks. The sun was just coming up outside, and cautiously; Alexis unlocked the door and reached out to grab the newspaper. But there was more than the newspaper waiting for her. A bunch of red roses and beautiful lilies had withered on her doorstep as she slept. Her heart clenched at the sight of them, and she withdrew once more into the haven of her house, feeling guilty for reasons she didn't know.

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A/N: The long awaited update. Sorry it's so short... I don't own that creepy song... shudder... I'll update soon!