CHAPTER 2

"So, Sophie and I have been thinking about it for a while and we came up with something" he paused, "I want you to write an essay about you, your life, your feelings, everything BUT it must be personal. I mean about what you've been going through in your respective life. Like Auggie you can talk about how it was like to be in a gang and what they made you do, Scott about sports, drugs and everything else going out at home maybe", he said as Scott looked sadly at his feet, "Juliette about how you perceive your mother, food, and how it makes you feel when you hurt yourself or why you feel like you need to do it", now it was Juliette's turn to look away, "Shelby you can talk about your life once you ran away from home and had to live on your own in the streets, Kat about how you felt when your sister died and why you feel responsible, etc, you get my point !" he said as everyone was now feeling bad and quite sad remembering a few things they didn't want to think about.

Peter looked at everyone's face to try to read them and see what they were thinking about his idea.

"I know it's not going to be easy and you probably don't want to remember those things but it's important that you share more of that with me and also with each other" he said trying to convince them, "You can't keep everything inside forever… I know you've shared a lot since you got here and I'm proud of each of you, you improved a lot and are getting better and that's a great thing but I think there should be more sharing. I mean there are things that you never want to talk about and I can respect that but in the same time it is important that you confront your feelings, what happened to you, what you've been going through, you need to realize how bad it was and how it really made you feel in order to grow up and learn from that.

"Also, we want you to write a poem about it. So we're asking you to write an essay and a poem showing more about your feelings. You can write as much as you want or need, you can vent, it's free, you can write absolutely everything you need. Write as long as you want" Sophie said as they all looked desperate.

"Oh, cool, so I can write 5 lines and then I'm done" David said.

"Go on like this David and you'll be the first one to be given a punishment tonight" Peter said giving him a stern look.

David shut up right away, for once.

"When is it due ?" Scott asked.

"Friday" Peter answered, "So you have three days to do it, please make it worth it"

"But I don't understand why we have to write about that, do you really want to hurt us even more than we already are", Juliette said in a strong voice as tears were filling her eyes.

Peter knew there was more than just that to upset her. She would never complain about an assignment, she would always start working on them as soon as she was given the right instructions. So he knew something was up, something had happened.

"What's wrong Juliette ?" Peter asked her.

"Nothing" she answered as she looked away not to meet his eyes.

"C'mon tell me what's wrong, I can tell there's something bothering you"

"You don't know me" she said coldly.

Peter was surprised to hear her say that, he would be if it was someone else saying that but not her. She was in a lot of pain and he could feel it. He needed to get her to share her feelings and pain but he knew it wouldn't be easy.

When a kid decided to not let you in and share how they feel there's not much to do and pushing too hard will do no good, Peter thought to himself.

"Juliette talk to me, don't hold it in, share with me, tell me how you feel ? Something happened recently ? What is it ?" Peter asked.

Stop it with your stupid questions, she thought, giving him a stern look that was also sad.

Good, I made a point there, Peter thought.

"So Juliette what is it ?"

She wouldn't tell him, she couldn't. She couldn't tell him what she did last night when they were all sleeping. She couldn't face him and the others and tell them that she used the blade she had hidden in the bathroom. She couldn't tell them she cut herself again. No, she couldn't. As everyone was silent they were all concerned about Juliette. She just offered them a fake smile.

"Everything's alright" she lied.

"No it's not Juliette, please don't do this, don't keep it inside, you need to let it out and we'll all deal with whatever it is" Peter said, "You know nobody's here to judge you !"

"Yeah what is it queenie ?" Shelby said as nicely as usual, "I'll bet our little princess here wants us to focus on her, she needs attention".

"Shelby !" Peter said giving her a stern look.

"What ? So Jules, tell us what it is, you have everybody's attention now so tell us your big secret, what is it uh ? Oh I'll bet you cut yourself again, right, or maybe you ate a bit too much and made yourself throw up, or maybe even both ?" Shelby said as Juliette got up wanting to leave.

"That's it Shelby" Peter said, "Kitchen duty for one week !"

"Eh that's not fair, I'm just trying to help here, you guys want her to talk so I'm trying to"

"Oh yeah" Auggie said mad at her for the way she always treats his girlfriend, "By pushing her to leave, is that how you do ?"

Shelby didn't know what to answer. As Auggie wanted to get up to follow his loved one Peter told him to stay there as he followed her himself. He found Juliette crying outside.

He came to her and nicely put his hand on her shoulder to reassure her and show her that she wasn't alone and to try to comfort her and invite her to talk.

"What's wrong Juliette, please talk to me" Peter asked in a soft voice.

"Nothing, I'm fine" Juliette said once again between sobs.

"Okay, then if you're fine why are you crying ?"

She didn't answer. She just walked to her dorm and Peter knew that he couldn't get her to talk tonight.

Hopefully she'll open up to Daisy or Kat or Auggie or someone, he thought.

Once in her dorm, Juliette, still sobbing, went to the bathroom, found her hidden razor blade, took it in her hand, smiled at it knowing that it was the only thing able to understand her and make her feel a bit better for a moment, a too short moment. She also knew that she would feel bad again after but she didn't really care. She needed it, she needed to do it now, to hurt herself, to cut her skin, to bleed, to ease her pain she can't face… She could hardly breathe, she was shaking a bit, she needed it. Without thinking too much about it she violently cut herself, her upper arm, and watched the blood hitting the ground. She then waited for the new pain she needed to focus on that only and forget about the rest. She was looking for her release. She soon felt that well known feeling of well being; she shut her eyes as she dropped the blade. She was able to breathe again. A few minutes later she heard some noise in the dorm, the girls were coming in, she quickly cleaned the mess she had made and went to her bed. The others tried to ask her what was wrong but she didn't even look at them and just went to bed.

In the guys' dorm they were all worried about Juliette. All but David who was making stupid jokes as usual.

"I'm worried about Jules" Auggie said.

"I know" Scott said trying to comfort his friend, "Don't worry, I'm sure she'll come to you once she's ready to talk about whatever's bothering her".

"I know… but she always shares everything with me, so why not now ? What is it that she has to hide from me ? I thought we had no secrets for each other" Auggie said in a sad voice.

"Well, think about it Auggie, what could she hide from you ? Another guy maybe" David said savoring how he was trying to torture his friend.

"Shut the fuck up !" Auggie yelled at him, "How dare you say that ? Come over here" he said inviting him for a fight.

"Eh calm down Auggie" Scott said trying to calm him down, "He's just trying to get on your nerves like always", he said giving David a stern look.

"Don't you ever talk about my girl that way ever again !" Auggie yelled as David was laughing.

Hearing the noise Peter came in their dorm wondering what was going on.

"What's up guys ?" he asked angrily.

"Nothing captain" David said.

"David !" Peter said not really knowing how to continue his sentence or what else to say.

"What now ?" David said faking being mad, he just wanted to annoy Peter and everyone else.

"Kitchen duty for two weeks !" Peter said with a big smile.

"Why so long ?" David asked, "I've done nothing"

"Want three ?" Peter asked knowing this would shut him up.

Peter looked at him and David was silent. He then tried to reassure Auggie who he could see was in a lot of pain worrying so much about Juliette.

"Listen up guys, I don't know more than you about what's bothering Juliette now" Peter said.

"But isn't it your job ?" Auggie asked angrily.

"Look Auggie, I'm doing my best, I just…"

"I'm sorry Peter, I didn't mean to say that… I know" Auggie said realizing what he had said.

"I know Auggie, don't worry"

"Wow, so he can insult you pretending you don't know how to do your job and you don't give him a punishment but when it's me… it's different" David complained.

"You're so wrong David" Peter said, "Just try to…"

"Whatever, I don't care" David said as he went to the bathroom not to be around them anymore.

Peter let him go. Once he was done trying to reassure Auggie he told them to go to bed and to work on their essay and poem tomorrow already. He left the dorm and walked towards the girls' dorm to listen if there was any noise or if they were sleeping already. It was calm so he guessed they were sleeping and he went back to his office where Sophie would be waiting for him like always.

…