CHAPTER 3

The next day the cliffhangers went to class and had some activities like usual but nothing too hard or tiring, just small things to keep their mind off the bad things. Juliette still wouldn't talk. Even though she tried to behave in a normal way, including laughs and everything, Peter wasn't stupid. He could feel her pain, that nothing had changed during the night, she was just trying to hide it, that he was sure ! He wanted to see her in one-on-one therapy to try to get her to talk today.

As they were outside, on a break between two classes, he called her.

"Yes Peter" she said walking towards him.

"How are you doing Juliette ?" he asked.

Great, he's gonna start again, she thought, time to wear that mask better and fake a huge smile hoping he buys it.

"I'm fine, thanks, and you ?"

"I'm doing fine, thank you. Umm I'd like to see you for some one-on-one therapy" He said wondering how she would react to that.

Great that's what I thought, she thought, he didn't forget and now he's about to try to force me to talk again. Be strong Jules, she told herself.

"Sure, no problem" she said lying to him, offering him a fake smile, "When ?"

"How about now ?" he asked.

"Well, in case you forgot I have another class in a few minutes" Juliette said.

"It's ok, I'll tell your teacher why you're not in class"

Too bad, she thought, no way to avoid this therapy thing now, she thought still faking a smile as she followed him to his office.

The rest of the cliffhangers were looking at them, trying to picture what was going on and where they were going. They hated not to know, they were all curious, and some, like Auggie, Scott and Kat, were really worried about Juliette.

"Where are they going now ?" Auggie asked out loud.

"I'll bet they're going to have a one-on-one therapy" Shelby said not really worrying about her friend.

Peter invited Juliette to sit down, which she did. She never let her fake smile drop to a sad face around others today. Peter knew it was fake. Just like he knew that she didn't want to have some therapy now. And he knew that it would be hard to get her to open up but he wanted to try once more.

"So, Juliette, tell me what's on your mind right now ?" He asked an unprepared Juliette.

She usually knew how to deal with questions, especially his, and how to not answer them or be vague in her answers but this time she wasn't prepared for that one. She had to think quickly and Peter noticed.

"Umm, well, not much" she said faking that same smile.

"That's not an answer and you know it" he said, "Everything good between you and Auggie ?"

Juliette didn't like it when someone would ask about her private life, even though here at Horizon nothing was really private. Living in that special school or center or whatever you wanted to call it wasn't like a dream. They would always search your clothes, bags and everything and they couldn't have any intimate moments with their lover unless they would slowly get up at night and meet in the shed or something with the risk of being caught by one of the guards and then be punished by one of the counselors themselves or even Peter on the next day, but it was worth it !

Then, for some reason, Juliette remembered what happened the other day and last night again, how she had used her blade one more time, how she had bled once again, how she now had to hide. That almost brought tears to her eyes but as Peter noticed she was deep in thoughts and called after her she quickly tried to forget and smile again.

"What's wrong Juliette, I felt like you weren't with me anymore for a while ?" Peter said.

"Nothing's wrong" she said with the same smile.

"Has something happened ? You know you can tell me" he said trying to show her that he truly cared and wasn't just some shrink doing his job like most of them who care about the money and that's it and consider people sick and not human beings. Peter truly cared for those kids and he often saw them as his own kids, his family, he loved them all, he wanted to be there for them always. Also, he was like the big brother, the father, they never had.

"Nothing happened" she simply answered.

"Don't lie to me, please, I can tell there's something, why don't you want to tell me ? Don't you trust me anymore ?" He asked in a hurt voice.

She hated seeing him that way, she felt guilty for not talking to him, but she just couldn't, how could he understand anyway ? How could he understand that she couldn't help it, that she needed to cut herself again ! And she was so ashamed ! And feeling disgusting.

Then as she would look away to stare at the ground he thought about what she might have been doing ? He just wasn't sure how to bring that up, he knew that communication was really important and right now it seemed to be broken.

"Did you do something wrong ? Something you regret ?" he asked trying not to mention the words, not to freak her out knowing that confronting someone to their cutting was always something delicate to do as people never want to talk about that and are just ashamed and disgusted and just fear others' judgment. He knew how it was like. He knew she'd just try to deny. He knew he had to find another way to bring that up and get her to talk about it.

She just didn't answer, she was starring at the ground, tears in her eyes, she could feel them but tried hard not to let them fall down her cheeks. But Peter noticed. He decided to tell her nothing. At least she's showing some emotions, he thought. He wasn't sure whether she had been cutting again or making herself throw up again but he definitely knew that there was something. She wouldn't open up to him, that he knew, she would deny everything and that would do her no good, she'd only feel worse after that and bad for crying if she couldn't help it.

"Ok, Juliette, you may go back to class" Peter said giving up but for now only, then he had a look at his watch "Oh, your class is over, it's lunch time, now" he said, "So go eat and don't forget to work on your essay and poem, ok ?"

She didn't even dare look at him and just left his office.

Lunch time, great, she said to herself, they can put their damn food where they want, I don't want it !

Once outside she waited for everyone to be inside to eat and she stayed alone outside for a bit, resting her head against a tree.

After doing some more thinking, which brought tears to her eyes once more, she decided to go to her dorm to take a nap or something.

But before that there was something she needed to do… again.

She rushed to the bathroom and looked for it, her blade. But to her surprise it wasn't where she had left it, hid it.

"Oh God, no" she said out loud, "Where is it ? Where the hell are you ?", she said talking to her blade as if it was a person.

"Is it what you're looking for ?" a voice asked showing her the blade.