Disclaimer: Same as the last chapter! (Start listening to the song right about here...)

(Cloud POV)

It had seemed like this feeling had been a cage for me. Something that held me back and kept me trapped, completely and utterly inescapable. From the moment she and I had shared that special night on the Gondola ride at the Golden Saucer, I knew that there was nothing more to life than a flower and a smile.

I always knew of how Tifa felt for me, and this was something that tore at me every day. It was just one of those things where you get unsure about the decsions you make. On the one hand, I knew that I had a woman who was always there for me, and always believed in me. Not to mention she was as beautiful as any woman walking this planet. But on the other hand, I had the chance to be with someone who was equally wonderful, and maybe even moreso, in her own unique ways. I loved her smile and the quiet way she went about things. Her altruism and feminine ways. She was what she sold. She never tried to be anything more than what she truly was. She was a flower.

Tifa was so different. She was a tomboy, which was clever and cute, and yet she too had her vulnerable side. I remember that night where she asked me to be her hero, to come and rescue her if she was ever in trouble. Yet I never seemed to be able to. Whenever there was a fight, or even through all the tough times we faced while on the journey to defeat Sephiroth, there was a firey physical tenacity to her that always kept me from being anything more than helpful to her. Never that hero figure.

I loved them both, but I knew that I had to make a choice. Then one night, before she died, Aeris came to visit me while the others were asleep. She confided in me how afraid she was. How she felt as if something terrible was going to happen, and how as long as she could stop it, she was willing to do anything at all. I held her in my arms that night and cooed my reassurances to her. I kissed her and told her everything would be alright. If only I had known that I was so wrong.

I try not to think about those moments, they are far, far in the past. I can't ever forget the love that I had for her, nor would I ever be able to deny it. But I think myself a fool for not trying to move past it either. There was only so much I could do for her now. Aside from cherishing her memories and everything she had saved with her sacrifices, she was dead, and there was nothing I could do about that. I should have given it up.

I was a fool...I continued to pine for the love of a dead woman, and worse of all, while silently dreaming of her, I pretended to love someone else. I pretended that I had loved Tifa all along. This wasn't fair to the ghost I refused to give up, and this wasn't fair to Tifa.

I remember cold mornings where I would wake up to her smiling face and a tray with a cup of coffee, a plate of eggs with cheese and green onions, and whatever color rose she found suitable for the day. It made me feel so bad to know that her feelings were so strong for me, and yet here I was, unable to feel the same way about her. It was horrible to wish that I was waking up to Aeris. It was horrible to wish that Aeris had made my breakfast for me. It was horrible to look at the rose on the tray and only think of the flowergirl who had stolen my heart away with her charming smile and 1gil roses.

I swear I was mentally ill when I finally decided to lay all my cards on the table.

It was another one of those mornings where she had come in with another one of her brilliant breakfast platters...

"Good morning Cloud...did you sleep well?"

"...Huh? Oh, yeah. I slept fine."

"Here you go! Fresh outta the frying pan, with cheese and green onions-"

"Just the way I like it."

She sunned me with that quirky smile of hers and took a seat on the edge of my bed. It was do-or-die, right here, right now.

"Is something wrong? You haven't even picked up your fork. Tired of the same thing every morning?"

"No, yeah...kinda. Tif, there's something I need you to know."

She sees it coming...her eyes are cast down...her shoulders begin to sag.

"Yes?"

"I...I still think I can find her...somehow. I feel like she's out there, calling to me, and that there is a way I can bring her back to me."

"Cl-Cloud...I thought you said you moved past this! I thought you said we'd build a happy life here. Together?"

"I know that's what I said, and believe me, at the time I said it, I really meant it too. But I can't keep lying here every morning, eating your breakfasts, looking at you and wishing it was someone else."

"Are you saying you wished I was her every morning you woke up! Telling me that you're not tired of my eggs, but tired of me!"

"Tif, you're taking this the wrong way."

"No, I don't think I am. I understand. Sorry to dissapoint you by not magically turning into her after this many mornings. Sorry that you had to pretend that SHE had done all this for you, and yet waking up to me..."

"Don't be mad."

"I'm not mad...I'm more...dissapointed. What gave you the right to play with my feelings this way Cloud? Why couldn't you have just been honest from the start?"

"I didn't want to hurt you."

The words sounded dumb to me even as they came out of my mouth. I licked my lips.

"You know what I have to do, right?"

Her merlot eyes looked away from me and she sighed. A long, heady sigh that admitted defeat even before she did.

"Yes, I do. Go look for her. I hope you find her, and the light that she brought to your eyes. Promise me one thing though..."

"Hm?"

"Don't tell me when you go."

"...Tifa, that's...that's not right."

"Promise me."

"Alright. I promise."

I packed up all my belongings that morning, and just as I promised, I headed out the door without so much as a goodbye, or a thank you. Or more regretfully, even a sorry. I don't think I ever said sorry to her for all that I had put her through.

I carried on for months, going here and there. First to Cosmo Canyon, in hopes that one of the elders would have an answer for me. Next to Gongaga, thinking that maybe the hometown of the one man she had loved before me might herald something. I traveled ALL over the planet. From where the Temple of the Ancients used to be, all the way up to Icicle Inn. I stopped here and there and did mercenary work to make the money necessary to live by and keep on travelling, but it wasn't until I spent a cold, sickly night at Northern Crater did I finally come to my senses.

I was sick and slightly delerious. I had been travelling through the cold, dank recesses of the area for a while, and I hadn't had an Elixer for days. There was hardly anything to keep me going but the hope that I might find her here. Or find a key to her. I eventually found myself in the same cavern as Sephiroth's mako-entombed corpse. I walked up to it, and in my stupor, started pounding it like I could somehow damage the massive thing. I hit it and hit it and hit it, until I wasn't standing anymore. And somehow, it opened it's eyes and spoke to me.

"Foolish boy..."

"Shut up...what do you know you monster?"

"I know enough that I don't chase after dead dreams."

"You're dead, shut up, shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!"

"She's dead. As dead as I am foolish boy."

"STOP IT."

"Go back to the live one...before it's too late."

"What are you saying?"

"Wouldn't it be ironic, if all who loved you died?"

I somehow woke up outside of the Crater, nestled in the wing of my Chocobo.

"Come on. I think it's time to go back to Nibelheim."

And yet, when I finally returned to what had once been my home, I found that things weren't the same anymore. The girl who I had fallen in love with over the journey home, the girl I had learned to appreciate for her kindness and patience, the girl I had stomped on and done wrong to, broke her heart and yet she had begged for more...was mine no more.

It was great, it was great. I hope the tears in my eyes sparkled half as brightly as that beautiful diamond ring she now wore on her left hand. Did it start with a kiss for them too?