Doom the Homeland

Welcome, young and old, to another screwed up one-shot. I don't own Harvest Moon, which, if you read my other HM fic, is pretty damn obvious. BTW: If the part about the dog seems weird, my algebra teacher tells a similar tale…with squirrels.

Jack stared into the hazy pasture of his dead grandfather's farm. The once-lively ranch was silent, almost mimicking the death of his ancestor. All the horses and cows that once populated the land were shipped away in the blink of an eye.

Taped to a tree was a torn-up slip off paper with "To Jack" scribbled on the back. The young man ripped it savagely from the tree, leaving a bit still attached firmly to the tree.

Dear Jack,

Gotta write this quick—I'm on the run. Killed a CEO; long story. Since Grandpa died, I want you to take care of what's left of the farm. The place will be torn down for a new theme park in a year, but it's not like you can't make a few bucks of farming, (possibly for my bail…), eh? Go live there anyway. Seeya.

--Dad

Yes, of course Jack's father was in a mafia. The young man put his hand on his "Toy" baseball cap, which was stolen from a security guard from Toy Corporation. He even had to grow a ponytail so the police wouldn't recognize him as the son of a wanted criminal.

"Idiot," muttered Jack, crumbling the letter in his palm. "But I guess it is true. Eventually I'll need a place to stay."

Suddenly, he jumped up in shock. He heard mumbling coming from behind the old, abandoned barn.

Immediately, the farmer dashed around the farm. It could be the cops! What if his grandfather was also leading a life of misdeeds? What if this whole farm was just a place for the old man to hide drugs?

The boy finally reached the back of the barn, where a group of elves were gathered. Two were thin, one wearing a blue coat and the other wearing a red one. The other was obese and wearing a hideous yellow raincoat.

"What…? Oh no! I was right, and all the drugs buried on this farm are starting to make me hallucinate!"

But the young man refused to believe that he was a drug addict. Women don't date drug addicts… well, smart women, anyway. Jack placed his hand on top of an elf's head. The creature gasped, since he wasn't usually grabbed on the top of his skull by a giant.

"What? How can you see us?" The blue elf was shaking in terror.

"Could it be that this is the pure hearted young lad destined to save our home?" asked the red elf. "Or at least some idiot we can con into doing it for us?"

"Maybe. Or he's just on a lot of drugs." The other thin elf turned to Jack, who was kneeling to be at eye level with him. "You see, our home's going to be destroyed. As Harvest Sprites, we cannot be killed by the bulldozers' fury. But we keep our stuff in this underdeveloped little town, so we want it saved."

"I think he's a great choice," a melodious female voice added.

Everyone turned around to see a young woman with long, braided purple hair floating in front of them. She smiled and blinked her eyes, which were also purple.

"Hello," she greeted. "I am the Harvest Goddess. I live in the Harvest Goddess lake."

"Funny, I thought the Kappa lived there," Jack muttered sarcastically. The Harvest Goddess ignored him.

"Our home is in danger of being turned into an amusement park. I could always move somewhere else, but those employees have terribly dark hearts." The goddess's eyes filled with tears. "When I was five, I was on the bumper cars… and… and… the seatbelt was broken… AND THEY WOULDN'T FIX IT!" Waves of tears poured from her face. "Well, now that I've opened up some emotional scars, can you answer a few questions for me?"

"Um, sure…" muttered Jack. I hope none of the villagers hear me talking to these imaginary friends I've been plagued with…

"Okay, you just found an abandoned puppy on the ground. What do you do: take it home or ignore it?"

Before Jack could say he would take the puppy home with him, an extremely inconvenient flashback consumed his mind.

A young Jack was skipping merrily down the streets of a largely populated city. After passing several hot dog carts and hobos, he found a large, black, hairy dog sitting near a billboard. The dog approached him and began to beg.

The little boy searched his pockets, but there were no dog treats. The dog sniffed his pocket. Nothing. Angrily, the dog revealed a pistol clenched in his teeth.

The gunshot echoed through the city as Jack fell to the ground in pain. It would take four hours for somebody to notice him…

"That goddamn dog!" Jack shouted. "I hope it burns in-"

"Okay, I get it…" the goddess said, smiling despite his evil-sounding statement. "Next question: you find money on the grou-"

"WHERE?" the young man exclaimed, his eyes lighting up. "TELL ME! TELL MEEEE!"

"I guess you have no intention of returning it to the owner." The divine being floated over to her imp minions. "So, guys, what do you think?"

"This guy's a villain!" insisted the blue sprite, Nak.

"A real bastard!" Flak, the fat one, said. "He'll probably kill all the villagers and eat them!" He paused for a second. "Mmm… villagers…"

"Well I think he's honest," the Harvest Goddess argued. "JACK!" she shouted, causing him to jump up in surprise. "Are you thinking about whether or not you should save us?"

"No…"

"Are you just staring at my chest?"

"…Yes…" he admitted.

"That's blasphemy!" Nik, who, by process of elimination, was the red one, shouted. "We can't let him-"

"If he even wanted to kill everyone and conquer the land, he would admit it. He never realizes the consequences of being so honest."

"So you're praising his stupidity?"

"…" She ignored the sprite and resumed talking to Jack. "So, Jack, will you take the farm and the responsibility of saving the town along with it?"

The boy began to consider the task of resurrecting an old farm and saving the community from certain destruction. Then again, if he defied a being of incredible power like this Harvest Goddess, he would probably face certain destruction.

"Why not."

"Looks like you doomed the homeland…" muttered Nik.