A/N: Oh, I've thrown the proverbial monkey-wrench into the gears with this chapter. I just know I'm gonna get flamed for it, but I feel that it serves a purpose. So...warnings for this chapter...Kaoru's language gets a little coarse. Aoshi might have a very slight (cough-huge-cough) bit of OOC, but I'm taking a chance with writing him, because I don't know his character anywhere near as well as I do Kenshin, Sano, Yahiko, and Kaoru. Keep that in mind, and we'll be fine. Also, um, Kenshin and Kaoru don't make up in this chapter. So please, don't kill me. Actually, there are 2 monkey-wrenches in this chapter. If you feel the need to flame me, go ahead, I'm expecting it anyhow.
Legal Stuffiness: I dont' own Rurouni Kenshin.
Dodging Enishi
Chapter 3: It's Raining Confusion
It was raining. The sky was a very dark shade of gray, with the thunderheads rolling in, writhing outside the window. The droplets traveling down the glass made such interesting patterns that Kaoru found herself watching them with a kind of desperate concentration. Her mind wandered everywhere except the lesson, but it always ended up on the same subject. She glanced across the classroom at a familiar red-head. Unlike her, he seemed to be concentrating on the lecture. Honestly, how can history be interesting? The topic was the Meiji Restoration. If Kaoru had had the energy, she'd have rolled her eyes. Nothing could be more boring than this class.
Kenshin's eyes were fixed on the instructor, but now that she looked closer at him, his face had a glazed look to it. He was spacing out just as much as she was! As she looked at him, she brooded. He'd been avoiding her all week. Every time she came within ten meters of him, he found some reason to be somewhere else. She sighed quietly and turned her attention back to the window. Two particularly fat raindrops were racing each other to the bottom of the large glass pane. Kaoru's eyes closed for a moment as she wished the situation away. She felt like one of those raindrops. Like she was racing blindly ahead only to be splatted against the bottom of the window frame. If only she could talk to him!
There was a knock on the classroom door, and as the instructor went to the door, Kaoru looked at the clock. Only twenty minutes left of her Enishi-free school week, and she had not enjoyed even one moment of it. Suddenly, something landed on her desk. Blinking in confusion, she looked down. Kaoru frowned down at the crisp cream-colored envelope. For a long moment, she looked around, trying to find the person who had tossed it there. No one was so much as glancing in her direction. Especially not Kenshin.
Slowly, she took the thing off of her desk and opened it, holding it low so that the instructor could not see it. Inside was a card. Written in a handwriting she did not recognize, it read:
Dear Kaoru-san,
Would you please meet me this afternoon in the park the next street over from the school? Even on a day like today, it is beautiful, perhaps especially on such a day. I will be waiting.
Sincerely,
A FriendOne thing was for certain, and that was the fact that Kenshin had most definitely not put this on her desk. It said Kaoru-san, and no one really called her that she could think of. The whole thing was really odd. She didn't want to meet some potential psycho in the park! She knew all of the people in the classroom, and was still having a difficult time figuring out who it might be.
Up in the front, there was Soujiro, the far-too-smart-for-his-own-good kid who'd skipped three grades. It couldn't be him, because she knew that he was interested in some sophomore that she couldn't remember their name. Then there was that nerdy kid who sat next to Kenshin…no. Definitely not. After going through the names of all of the boys in the class, and then the girls as well, just for good measure, she still had no clue. There was only one remedy for curiosity. She had to go. That was all there was to it.
The bell sounded the end of the day, and she slowly packed her things, quite distractedly, so that she knocked her pencils and one of her textbooks to the floor, simply because she wasn't paying any attention at all to what she was doing. When she leaned down to get the fallen items, someone beat her to them. Looking up, Kaoru's eyes met icy blue, nearly veiled in thick black bangs. For a short moment, she blinked. He handed the things to her, and she said, "Arigato, Shinomori-san." He merely nodded politely and walked from the room with his usual cool civility.
Still just as distracted as she had been, Kaoru walked to her locker to replace some of her things, and retrieve others. She mis-dialed her combination three times, but finally got the thing open. As usual, the contents of her locker emptied themselves onto the floor at her feet. She really did need to clean that thing. Looking down at the mess at her feet, she found the things she needed, and then fished them out of the pile. After shoving the rest back into the locker, she slammed the door and locked it.
Outside, it was still drizzling, and a light mist had formed, hugging the ground. She took out her umbrella, and started walking. The entire way to the park, her thoughts were jumbled. Curiosity over whom she was on her way to meet battled with her exasperation at herself and the entire situation with Kenshin. Finally, five minutes later, she found herself standing in the middle of the park in question. The note-writer had been right. There was an odd beauty about the place in this sort of weather.
Kaoru pulled her rain-jacket tighter around herself as the wind picked up. Just as quickly as it had come, it died down. She walked along the path, watching her reflection go by in the puddles, and then stepped onto the grass. For some reason, she found herself wanting to take off her shoes and simply feel the wet grass under her feet. Rather than do something she might regret later, Kaoru folded her knees under herself, sitting on her heels. The grass was cool, and she ran her fingers through it. Then, she closed her umbrella and lay it down next to her knees, looking up at the sky to feel the rain on her face.
She had, in her little moment of bliss, forgotten all about Kenshin, the note-writer, everything. The air felt so clean now, it was almost as if she could breathe it in and wash away all of her worries. As if from far away, she heard a rhythmic tapping sound. Footsteps. Turning to see who it was, she only saw a figure shrouded in a coat, and obscured by the mist. Her little bout of euphoria began to fade, and nervousness replaced it. When she came to herself, she realized that she was still sitting on the damp grass. Kaoru got hastily to her feet, and tried to brush the mud-stains off of her knees. It did no good.
She looked up, and lo and behold, standing less than five feet from her was Shinomori Aoshi. "Shinomori-san?" She wondered if it had been he who sent the note, or if he was there by coincidence. A chance meeting was ruled out when he smiled at her.
"Kaoru-san," He said, his smile not fading. "What do you think of the park today?" He looked away from her, to the surrounding area, and seemed just as enthralled with it as she was.
"It's lovely. Ano, Shinomori-san—"
His eyes settled on her again, and she stopped speaking. "Yes, I did put that note on your desk. I'm sure you're wondering why?" She nodded. "I needed a…discreet way to talk to you. You seem distant as of late. Not your usual effervescent self. I was wondering what it was that was bothering you." So that was it? He was concerned about her emotional well-being?
"Shinomori-san—"
"Please call me Aoshi."
"Aoshi-san, this is a little awkward. I don't even know you. How am I supposed to speak to you about something like that?" Really, he had never shown any interest in her life before now, so why was he? He was the last person she would have expected to write such a note, or even show concern for her. His icy eyes regarded her in an expression of mildness that she had never seen in him before, and she regretted her thoughts. Was it that such looks weren't there before, or was she just not seeing them because she chose not to? He was, after all, Shinomori Aoshi. He was cold but civil.
"Walk with me?" He asked, and she felt compelled to comply. Taking up her bag and umbrella, she fell in step next to him. They were both silent for a few minutes, just watching the mist swirling around the trunks of the trees. "So, what has you so upset?" He was persistent, she'd give him that. Sighing, she began to speak.
"There are multiple things bothering me. You know Yukishiro Enishi?" Aoshi's eyes narrowed for a moment, and he nodded. "Then you should know how pushy he is. The other day, just before rehearsal in the music hall, Enishi tried to attack me in the hallway." Aoshi's eyes widened, and he stopped walking.
"Did you report him?"
She shook her head. "It wouldn't do any good. Besides, he's already been suspended." Aoshi didn't seem to like her complacency where Enishi was concerned. "The other thing that's bothering me is Kenshin." She explained the situation to him, even though she didn't know why she was doing it. He was very quiet the entire time, holding any questions he might have had until she was completely finished.
"So Himura-san has expressed his feelings for you, yet you feel that you can't do the same?" She nodded dully. Aoshi tilted his head from one side to the other. "I don't understand you, Kaoru-san. Either you are very, very complex, or you're hiding something." He looked down at her, his eyes coming to rest on her face. His presence was comforting and strange all at once, and she did not understand it. She found herself smiling. "Perhaps the both of you could use a bit of time away from one another after all, if for no other reason than to clear your thoughts."
Sudden panic rose in her chest. She had a hard enough time with him ignoring her for a week. What would happen if he decided he didn't want to be around her anymore? "But we've been best friends since we were very young. I've never been without him. He's always been there for me. Not having him around…it just isn't the same." Aoshi smiled at her in a very understanding way.
"What are you afraid of?"
Kaoru's mind tried to shut down at his question. What was she afraid of? She nearly laughed. But she answered him honestly. "Everything." Her agitation was growing with every passing moment. What was she going to do? She had to tell him. But how was she going to do it if she couldn't get close enough to him to even speak to him? Her thoughts were jarred aside as she felt Aoshi take her hand in his. He squeezed it slightly.
"Everything will work out for the best, even if you and Kenshin are only meant to be friends." Lifting her hand, he brushed a light kiss across her knuckles. "Goodbye for now, Kaoru-san." He turned away, and walked back up the path. She stared after him. That couldn't possibly be the Aoshi she knew. Did she really know him at all? The answer to that was obvious enough. She didn't.
"Aoshi-san!" Kaoru ran after him. He stopped, allowing her to catch up. When she came to where he was, she bit her lip nervously, then hugged him fiercely around his waist. He seemed rather surprised. She looked up at him, and said, "Arigato, Aoshi-san. For showing me the park, and for making me talk to you. I guess I needed to." He nodded, smiling. For a moment, she tried to think about what to do next. After she let him go, Kaoru said, "What are you doing right now?"
"Going home, I guess."
"Would you like to come with me? I was going to go and find something to eat." Her curiosity about him was starting to gain strength. How was it that he appeared so cold all of the time, but had this side to him, as well? These were things she wanted to find out. He looked at her, an odd expression on his face.
"Kaoru-san, I'm not sure that it would be a very good idea."
"Why?"
"Because," he began, but stopped. What had he been going to say? "There are things you need to sort out in your mind. I don't want to add to the confusion." Too late! She was more confused now than ever. Why would he make her more confused (other than his odd statement just now)? He apparently sensed this, and took a step nearer. Kaoru suddenly noticed how very tall he was. His eyes held her on the spot, and she tried but was unable to say anything at all. His hand rose, pushing damp hair out of her eyes. What was happening? He was so close to her, so close that he was almost touching her.
A blush rose on her face, and she realized what was about to happen. But unlike with Enishi, she was powerless to stop it. Aoshi leaned down, lower, lower, and brushed a very light kiss over her lips. He looked her in the eyes, and said, "Are you confused yet?" Kaoru nodded vigorously. "Good. I'd be worried if you weren't. Because I know I am." She blinked up at him, uncertainty in her eyes. His voice was soft, almost a whisper. "I can't go with you. It would add to my confusion, as well as yours. You need to figure things out with Kenshin. And I need to back off."
With that, he stood to his full height, and bid her good night. She stood there, in the rain, watching him leave.
Kenshin stared. What had he just seen? He could hardly breathe. Why was this happening? Why, when he had finally told her how he felt about her, did he have to push her away and ignore her? Now, he had watched her with Aoshi, and he had seen him kiss her. There was a film of red over his vision for a long moment after that, and that little voice in the back of his mind kept screaming at him to run over to them, and drag Kaoru away from him. It told him to do all manner of things, none of which were pleasant.
The voice was firmly stamped down, and he had control over himself before long. She was still standing there, staring after the retreating figure of Aoshi. He was glad that it was raining. That way, no one passing by could see the tears that ran down his face. They simply mingled with the raindrops that slid over his skin and soaked him to the bone. Now that he had watched them, he felt strange. He wanted to go to her. He wanted to run away. He wanted to…did it matter what he wanted anymore?
At the moment, nothing mattered. He turned away, walking back the way he had come, silent tears still mingling with the rain. Thoughts swirled around his mind like the mist around his feet, and he ran his fingers over his scar.
When Aoshi was gone, Kaoru turned back to the entrance she'd come through. For a moment, she thought she saw a flash of red hair. Eyes widening, she ran after it, hoping to find Kenshin. Her rain jacket flapped around her, and she didn't care that she was starting to get wetter in the rain, which was beginning to get heavy again. She was sure he had gone this way, but he was nowhere to be found. She stopped, standing in the now-driving rain, wondering where he had gotten to. A realization suddenly hit her. What if he had been in the park? Had he seen her with Aoshi? Kaoru suddenly felt sick.
That sickening feeling only spread the longer she stood there, getting progressively worse. After a long moment, she caught her breath, and steadied her mind. Grim determination settled over her. Aloud, she said to the empty street, "I won't let you avoid me anymore, Kenshin." She turned east and headed directly for Kenshin's house. He might be able to avoid her at school, but if she went to his house, it might be a little more difficult. The more she thought about it, the more sure she was that her plan (such as it was) would work. Picking up her pace, she ran. For nearly half a mile, she was running full-tilt, but stopped suddenly when she turned a corner around a shop and ran headlong into something solid.
She was knocked to the ground, and sprawled on her back. The air rushed out of her lungs, and she couldn't breathe. There was a pain in the back of her head. Why did it hurt so much? Oh. I hit my head. That explains a lot…dizzy. The last thing she saw before she blacked out was a pair of very dark eyes. A voice was telling her to lie still. It was vaguely familiar, but where had she heard it?
She was much lighter than he thought she would be. As Enishi carried Kaoru, he occasionally looked down at her. It was perhaps fortunate that he only lived a block from where she'd literally run into him. He approached the front door of the house. There was a bench nearby, and he put her there as he dug his keys out of his jeans pocket and unlocked the door. Then, he brought her inside.
No one was home yet. He had hoped to ask his mother what to do with her. However, since he didn't know exactly what to do, he tried to make her as comfortable as he could. Enishi pulled off her rain jacket, hanging it up in the laundry room. Her clothes were damp. After toying with the idea of removing them and putting dry things on her, he decided against it. Not only would she probably be upset, but his mother would clobber him for doing something like that. Not to mention what Tomoe would say…
He found the warmest blankets he could, and put them over her as she lay on the couch. Now he just had to wait for her to wake up. Sitting on the edge of the couch, looking at her, he tried to memorize the details of her face. Eyes that were equally beautiful in laughter and anger were closed, long eyelashes making small shadows on her cheeks. Her nose, slightly upturned, her high cheekbones, and lips that had to be softer than silk…Enishi found himself wanting to test that theory.
His hand drifted to her face, the backs of his knuckles running gently over smooth skin from her cheekbone to her chin. She seemed so fragile, as if she were made of porcelain. He felt drawn to her, though he was unsure why. There was just something about her that he could not get away from, no matter how he tried. After a moment, he gave up trying to understand. He simply leaned down and pressed his lips gently against hers, wishing that she were awake.
Kaoru's head hurt. It hurt, and she felt groggy. Her eyes fluttered open, and she willed her them to focus. That was difficult, because something was very close to her face. Speaking of her face...that something was pressed against her face. Once she finally got her eyes to focus, what she saw made her think that she was hallucinating. There was another face, pressed against hers, eyes closed, and kissing her. After a couple of seconds, she caught a glimpse of light purplish hair. Enishi? What the…Before she could push him off of her, he pulled away and opened his eyes. His surprise was evident when he saw that she was awake.
He bit his bottom lip. "Ano…Gomen?" She tried very hard not to laugh at the sheepish look on his face. Then, she realized what had happened to her, and where she'd been going when she ran face-first into Enishi and knocked herself out. She sat up, and threw the blankets off of herself. When she tried to stand, Enishi pushed her gently back to the cushions. "Kaoru-chan, you need to keep still. You hit your head."
Anger flashed in her eyes and she stared him down. "Look, I'm grateful that you took care of me, but I need to go. I have to be somewhere." Still, he would not budge. "Yukishiro, if you don't let me go, I'll make you." He seemed amused by that, which, of course, only made her angrier. She was being held against her will, and it was really getting on her nerves. It was amazing how soon one can be annoyed once they wake up. When she tried to stand again, he once again gently made her sit. He took hold of her hands, keeping them where they were. Perhaps he had sensed the fact that she was seriously considering punching him?
"Kaoru, please. I don't want you to hurt yourself." His brow was furrowed with obvious concern.
"Don't worry about me. I'll be fine. Now let me go." He still held her where she was. "Please?" Enishi shook his head. "Why won't you let me go? My parents are going to get worried. I at least need to go home so that they don't call the police." He didn't seem to be bothered by that at all. He did answer her, though.
His dark eyes burned into hers. "Kaoru, you're hurt. You need to stay still. The fact that I get to be alone with you is just an added bonus." She blinked as he smiled at her. Have all of the men gone crazy? I wake up, and this guy's kissing me. Aoshi kissed me. Kenshin won't come near me. What the hell is going on? Now, he was looking at her like he was going to kiss her again. The world seemed to be turned on its head. Things were the exact opposite of what they had been. All except for in her own head. To make things worse, her assumption had been correct. Enishi leaned closer to her, kissing her gently, almost sweetly. She blinked as her vision clouded over. Was it her head? Was she short on breath?
She was starting to think that she would pass out. Enishi had her pressed against the back of the couch, and he had let go of her hands. One of his hands was stroking her cheek, while the other one played with a long bit of hair that had escaped her ponytail. This was different than when Aoshi had kissed her. With Aoshi, it was the barest hint of a kiss, as if it were all he would allow himself. This was different. Enishi's lips were pressed firmly but gently against hers, radiating heat and some emotion she couldn't name. To her horror, she realized that it wasn't her head. He was just that good at this. Damn.
She made a small noise, half-whimper, half-groan, and put her hands on his shoulders, pushing him away. "Enishi, why did you do that?" Damn. I called him by his name. It had been something she had promised herself not to do.
"Because I like you."
"But I don't like you." Kaoru pointed out, just in case he hadn't really gotten the picture the last four times she'd told him to get lost.
He flashed a brilliant smile, and said, "Hey, I figure persistence pays off. I'm sure if you got to know me, you'd like me better." She blinked. Could he possibly be serious? Kaoru shook her head, trying to get her thoughts to fall into place as she needed them to.
"You know, if you wouldn't do such stupid things, I might have wanted to get to know you. I might even have wanted to be your friend. But what you did last week was…shitty." He looked at her as if she had slapped him. God knew she wanted to. He would have deserved it. But the look on his face was very near pitiable.
He muttered darkly for a moment, and then said, "I thought that I hadn't made it obvious enough that I was interested in you."
Kaoru's face went completely blank. Her voice was filled with disbelief as she said, "Are you kidding? You cornered me multiple times, asking me out. How is that not obvious? I thought I made it pretty clear that I didn't want to go out with you. And don't start with that crap about persistence. With me, all it accomplishes is pissing me off." She eyed him suspiciously. He was shaking. She wondered momentarily if she had gone too far.
"What am I supposed to do, then?" He asked, looking away from her. "I have these feelings, but no way to deal with them." Enishi was very distressed. "You don't think you could ever learn to like me?" It was like talking to a small child who felt the need to negotiate. His voice took on a pleading tone. "Kaoru, please. Tell me what to do. I don't understand this. There's this...this horrible pain, and the only time it's not there is when you're around." She blinked. There was nothing that she could possibly say to that. His eyes were still locked with hers. There was no looking away. The intensity she saw there frightened her.
"Enishi…I—"
"Enishi? What are you doing?" Both Kaoru and Enishi turned to look at Tomoe, who had just come in the door. She raised an eyebrow at her brother.
After he explained about Kaoru getting hurt, he asked if he could borrow her car to drive Kaoru home. She tossed him the keys and gave him a look that Kaoru could not read. He told her to stay on the couch and he went to get her things from the laundry room. When he had given them to her, they went to the car. Once he had her inside and safely buckled in, he went to the driver's side and slid in next to her. He put on his seatbelt as well, and started the car. The engine made a purring sound as he backed out of the drive, and then he shifted gears and they started down the street. "Kaoru?"
"Yes, Enishi?"
"I…I'm sorry." He was keeping his eyes forward, intentionally not looking at her. The rest of the drive was spent in silence, and Kaoru stared at him the entire time. Why were the men around her so complicated and hard to understand? In less than two weeks, she'd had three guys inform her of their feelings, one of which she might be interested in being friends with, one that she wanted desperately to talk to, and then there was Enishi. He seemed like he was on the edge of breaking. If she were sadistic, she would find this fun. Since she wasn't, she had no idea how to feel about the situation.
He wasn't trying to act cool in front of his friends, or venting his hormones. This was real, true, desperate emotion, and she didn't know how to feel in return, or what to do about it. The best she could do was start over. Maybe if he acted like a decent human being, they may eventually be friends. As things stood at the moment, she just didn't know.
When they came to her house, she unbuckled her seatbelt. "Enishi, thank you. For taking care of me. I really appreciate it." He smiled slightly.
"You okay from here, or do you need me to walk you in?"
"Thanks, but I'm okay." She opened the door and got out, making sure she had all of her things.
"Kaoru?"
She stuck her head back in the door of the car so she could see him when he spoke. He had put the car in park, and slid across to the passenger side while she was putting her umbrella in her bag. Enishi took her by the shoulders, and kissed her again, very like he had at his house, although with more intensity. She hadn't thought that was possible. She thought she could now identify that feeling coming from him. Sadness. He pulled away from her, a sad smile on his face. Her mind reeled. She could still feel his lips. Why did he have to be so good at that? "Ja ne, Kaoru."
She could barely breathe. "Ja," was all she could manage. She straightened, and closed the car door. As she walked up to the house, she could feel him watching her. Her knees were weak, and it was all she could do not to trip on the sidewalk. How could it be possible for something to affect her like this? Kaoru opened the front door, and looked back to the street, where Enishi was sitting in the car, watching. His face was filled with a kind of sad serenity that was almost endearing. Aoshi had no idea what confusion was. She had a triple dose.
A/N: Ok, please don't kill me. (runs and hides from Kenshin/Kaoru fans) Aoshi/Kaoru and Enishi/Kaoru fans, save me, please! I dont' think anyone should get too comfortable with any of the pairings in this chapter. Just so you know, this is still based on the events of my life, so you're just going to have to wait and see what happens. Love you guys, and if you feel the need to flame because of the pairings and craziness, please don't use any profanity. It's the worst thing in the world to have R-rated reviews.