A/N: Ahh. Here's chapter four. You all better enjoy this one. I've got a headache, and I've been all choked up since mid-chapter. Oh, and it is a little shorter than the previous three, but I simply can't write any more right now. When a chapter is done, it's done. Warnings? Hmm. Aoshi has the previously seen OOC (don't say I didn't warn you), Tomoe's being devious, though we don't know anything of her plans just yet, and there is simply oooodles of angsty fluff. No, that's not an oxymoron, guys. Just read it, and you'll see. Thanks for all of your reviews! I love you guys. To juliagulia, I love monkey-wrenches too. Only one of the monkeys gets much "screen-time" in this chapter. The Battousai fans might like this chapter, too. While I refuse to actually have him snap into total Battousai mode, Kenshin does show some signs of Battousai-esque behavior. So anyway, grab some popcorn, a teddy bear, and a punching bag, and enjoy!

Legal Stuffiness: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin

Last time...

She stuck her head back in the door of the car so she could see him when he spoke. He had put the car in park, and slid across to the passenger side while she was putting her umbrella in her bag. Enishi took her by the shoulders, and kissed her again, very like he had at his house, although with more intensity. She hadn't thought that was possible. She thought she could now identify that feeling coming from him. Sadness. He pulled away from her, a sad smile on his face. Her mind reeled. She could still feel his lips. Why did he have to be so good at that? "Ja ne, Kaoru."

She could barely breathe. "Ja," was all she could manage. She straightened, and closed the car door. As she walked up to the house, she could feel him watching her. Her knees were weak, and it was all she could do not to trip on the sidewalk. How could it be possible for something to affect her like this? Kaoru opened the front door, and looked back to the street, where Enishi was sitting in the car, watching. His face was filled with a kind of sad serenity that was almost endearing. Aoshi had no idea what confusion was. She had a triple dose.

Dodging Enishi

Chapter 4: A Love That Scars

There was something going on he didn't know about. He could smell it. As Enishi sat across the table from his sister, he looked at her, and wondered about why she had made the offer. "What do you get out of this, Tomoe-chan?"

"What do you mean, Enishi? I get the satisfaction of knowing that my brother is happy. Even if it is with that little Kamiya twit." Her tone still held the same dark, brooding calm that it always did, but there was something else there, as well. His eyes narrowed at her. There were times when he didn't trust his sister. While Enishi preferred the 'direct' approach to most things, she was very tricky. Something like a snake with very good camouflage. You didn't know she was going to strike until it was too late.

"Then why help at all?" He cocked his head to one side. "I don't even need your help. She's starting to warm up to me." His sister only smiled. What was she up to?

--

In the window seat in his room, Kenshin sat and stared outside. He'd been sitting there since he'd gotten home. It was dark now, and Hiko was probably cooking dinner, but he wasn't hungry. Something inside him had broken a few hours ago, and he wasn't sure if it could be repaired. Leaning his head against the cold glass of the window, he closed his eyes, trying to clear his mind of all the images that flooded through it. They all centered around Kaoru. Kaoru being kissed by Aoshi. Kaoru when they were little kids, laughing and calling him "Kenshin no baka." He and Kaoru practicing music together, sparring together.

Then, there were the images he could only wish for, which kept ghosting around the edges of his mind. There was one of himself and Kaoru smiling and laughing together, holding hands as they walked down the street. He and Kaoru…kissing. But then that led him back to the thought that she had let Aoshi kiss her, and he gripped the windowsill, willing the image of them together from his mind. He couldn't take this much longer. He had to go talk to her. Kenshin opened his eyes. When he stood from the window seat, his resolve had strengthened to the mental equivalent of steel.

He would go, and he would talk to her. If he didn't, his mental state would simply degrade, and he would do something that he might not regret, but would definitely get arrested for. Shedding his school uniform, he rifled through his closet for something suitable to wear. What does one wear for such an occasion? Soon, he realized that he was rifling through the drawers of clothes with only one hand, because the other one was fumbling shakily along his scar. Clenching his left hand into a fist, he made a conscious effort not to do it anymore.

As he pulled on a pair of blue jeans and a long-sleeved dark blue t-shirt, he silently hoped that what he had seen was not what he thought it was. He hoped that she had not expected Aoshi to kiss her, and he certainly didn't want her to have enjoyed it. Kenshin grabbed his tennis shoes and ran down the stairs. "Hiko?" he found his guardian in the kitchen. "I need to go and see Kaoru-dono. I shouldn't be very long, but if I am, I'll call." The man nodded, and told him that he should be careful and bring an umbrella, since it was still raining.

Three blocks. It was the longest walk of his entire life. For three blocks, the equivalent of eight minutes of hesitant start-and-stop walking, he was in utter Hell. Now, he stood in front of the door at the Kamiya house, and couldn't bring himself to knock. Was there any place worse than Hell? Vaguely, he remembered something he'd read in a book on Greek mythology. There was a place under the Greek version of Hell. It was called Tartarus, and it was where those who had done something so horrible that they were considered unfit to be put in Hell by the gods had special tortures set up for them. Yep. That was what he felt like. He was in Tartarus.

He raised his hand to knock on the door. After he did, he waited. Not long after, Kaoru's mother came to the door. "Kenshin? Isn't it a little late for you to be—" Kenshin cut her off.

"Gomen, but I must see Kaoru-dono. May I?"

"I'm sorry, Kenshin. She's resting after her accident. You can come and see her tomorrow once she's awake." His eyes grew large as she said this. Accident? His heart stopped for a moment. Kaoru was hurt? Without thinking, he pushed past her, and tore through the living room, ignoring the protests of the obviously upset woman, as well as the startled cry given by Kaoru's father as he ran past him and up the stairs. Second door on the right in the hallway. That's her room.

Panting for breath, he threw the door open. He found Kaoru. She was lying in bed, the covers pulled up, sleeping. Kaoru's mother came up behind him, and tried to pull him out of the room. Kenshin wrenched away from her, and walked to the bed. Sitting on the bed with Kaoru, he pushed messy black hair from her face. After a moment, he turned to the woman in the doorway. "Can I please be alone with her? I need to…" There was a pleading note in his voice, mixed with desperation and so much pain that she blinked at him. Finally, she nodded and retreated from the room, closing the door.

For a long time, what seemed like hours, Kenshin simply stared at her. Then, he toed off his shoes and lay down next to her, atop the covers. "I'm sorry, Kaoru-dono. I wasn't there to keep you safe. I'm sorry." Burying his face in the pillow next to her head, he began to cry silently, gripping the coverlet in his hands so tightly that he nearly ripped it. He stayed this way for a long time. What had happened to her that she was unconscious? Had she been hurt that badly? Not knowing was driving him insane, but he didn't have the strength to try to wake her up.

Finally, he felt Kaoru stir next to him, and raised his head. Indigo eyes stared questioningly at him, then widened. "Kenshin?" She sat up, and leaned over him. "Kenshin, are you all right?" Kenshin closed his eyes, breathing a deep, relieved sigh. When he opened them again, she was looking worriedly at him. The coverlet had been dislodged, and she hand one hand on either side of his shoulders. Her eyes searched his face for any sign of why his eyes were filled with tears that were still falling, no matter what he did to stop them.

He reached up and put his arms around her, pulling her down to him and holding her. "I'm sorry, Kaoru. I'll never leave you alone again." His voice was a fevered whisper, and it didn't stop. "Never. Never, never, never." She moved so that she was not crushed to his chest, so that she could be able to see his face. There was an indescribable expression in her eyes as she looked down on him, her hair tickling his face.

"Kenshin, why are you crying?"

His hand traced the curve of her cheekbone. "You were hurt. I wasn't there."

A sudden anger flashed in her eyes. "I got hurt because I was running after you, baka. How do you disappear like that?" He started. She had seen him? How had he not known? " I lost you, and when I was on my way to your house, I ran into someone and fell down. Smack! Just like that. I got a bad lump because of it. It was actually kind of lucky that the person I ran into was nice enough to take care of me for a little while." He brushed his fingers against her cheek, but she looked away from him. "I know you saw, Kenshin." There was a frown on her face, and something that looked like guilt. "I didn't mean for it to happen. He just kind of…did it."

"You don't have to explain yourself to me, Kaoru. All you have to do is decide what it is you want." His voice came out colder than he had wanted it to. She looked hurt, and angry.

"Kenshin…I don't like Aoshi that way. He might make a good friend but—"

"What about me, Kaoru? You keep ignoring this—" he gestured to the space between them with his hands "—and it isn't making things any better." He frowned. "I just want to know what I am to you." His voice became quiet. When she looked at him questioningly, his voice dropped to the tone he'd been using more often than he liked lately. "I know what you are to me. I just want to know the same from you."

"What am I to you, Kenshin?"

Finally having enough of whatever game she was playing, be it feigning ignorance or trying to seem coy, he grasped her wrists and reversed their positions. Kenshin's voice became the aggressive growl that showed the part of himself that he tried to control. He was unable to hold it back. "That's enough, Kaoru. You know. I know you do. You know I've loved you since the first time you smiled at me, the first time we met. I know you do. You know I would do anything to protect you. You know that every day when I say goodbye to you it rips my soul in two. I know that you know." Tears were blurring his vision again, and he blinked them away. He was too angry to cry. He wanted her to tell him, and he wanted her do tell him now. "You ignore it. You look the other way. I won't let you anymore. I know that you know exactly how you feel, so don't lie to me anymore. You know. Now, tell me. What am I to you?" Her face was white with shock, her mouth hanging open. She didn't seem to be breathing.

He felt her hands on his face, wiping the tears away. Kenshin felt himself relaxing into her touch, enjoying the feeling of her hands on him much more than he had any right to. She swallowed audibly. "I…" Now it was his turn not to breathe. She steadied herself, it seemed, and looked into his eyes. "I'm not good with words."

"Try."

Her hands stilled on his face, one resting flat on either cheek. Then, the one on his left cheek traced his scar. She stretched up to him, and kissed the cross-shaped pinkish area. "You are very important to me…" She said softly, right next to his ear. "You are my best friend, the one who is always there. When did this happen to us?"

His breathing quickened, and he became even angrier. She was dancing around the question. "Stop toying with me. Tell me how you feel about me." He hissed, and grasped the back of her neck, holding her there so that he could look at her, his face mere inches from hers. "I love you, Kaoru. I love you so much it hurts me. More than any wound ever could. It has left scars deeper than any of those on my skin. I'm being honest with you. Why can't you be honest with me?" His voice cut off, cracking. In a hoarse whisper, he said, "Why?"

Again, Kaoru's face held a look of shock. Then she said, "Fine. You want to know? Do you?" Her eyes were suddenly like dark blue pools of flame, staring into his. Before he could answer, her hands, which had been resting at her sides, shot up to his face. She grasped his face, and used his position as leverage, drawing him toward her, then pressing her mouth against his in a fierce but somehow gentle kiss. His head reeled, his breath caught in his throat, and before he could relax into the sheer bliss of Kaoru kissing him, she had pulled away. "Do you know now, Kenshin no baka? Or do I need to say out loud that I love you? Do you really need to hear how I was in agony this week while you ignored and avoided me? Is it necessary for me to say that every time you look at me, I feel like I'm going to die, but I don't care because I have you near me? Yes, I love you, Himura Kenshin. There. You happy?" She huffed, and pushed him away. "Now get out."

"Oro?" Shock. Bewilderment. Utter incomprehension and disorientation flowed through him.

"I said get out."

"Why?"

"Because you're a baka." She crossed her arms under her breasts. "I don't want to look at you right now."

Smiling, he reached out and used two fingertips to close her eyes. Leaning close to her, and whispering he said, "Then don't." A small shiver moved languidly through her slight frame at the feeling of his breath across her lips. He closed the three-centimeter gap between his lips and hers, feeling her soft, warm lips against his. A sound that reminded him of a whine escaped her as he tilted her chin upward. His eyes slid shut, and he was lost. Kenshin's arms found their way around her, moving of their own accord. One of his hands buried itself in her unbound hair, feeling it flow through his fingers. The other clutched at her back, trying in vain to press her closer to him, make her part of himself.

Kenshin could feel his heart swelling. He couldn't remember being so happy. Then, he felt Kaoru's arms encircle his neck as she returned his kiss to him with emotion equal to his. He felt his lungs begin to burn, needing air. Did he care? Kenshin felt like he could die at this very moment, and it wouldn't be a bad thing. He had his Kaoru, and she had him, and nothing could ruin the moment.

"Ahem." Two pairs of eyes snapped open, and both Kenshin and Kaoru looked toward the door, from whence the sound had come. There stood Kaoru's mother, arms crossed under her breasts, one eyebrow raised. Kenshin swallowed audibly. "If I'd known that you were going to molest my daughter, I would have made you wait." The horrifyingly angry look on her face melted into a grin, and she giggled. "You two…if you could have seen your faces just now!"

Kaoru screeched in rage, taking up a pillow and hurling it with deadly accuracy at her mother, who merely caught it. "Okaa-san! For crying out loud, don't you know how to knock?"

Her mother stopped laughing momentarily and held the pillow against her stomach, smiling devilishly. "How was I supposed to know that anything untoward was going on in here? For all I knew, the two of you were playing shogi." There was an evil glint in her eyes. She was enjoying drawing out their embarrassment.

Kenshin swallowed his annoyance, and not a little of his pride, and said, "It's time for me to leave, anyway." He rose from the bed. Just as he started to walk to the door, Kaoru's mother shook a finger at him.

"Oh, no, young man. You're staying right where you are. Dinner is going to be served soon. Call it blackmail." His eyes widened. This woman was devious! Finally, he nodded, giving in. "Now, I'll call Hiko and tell him you're staying for dinner. Should I say you'll be sleeping over as well?" The woman was incorrigible…she was doing this just to get a blush out of him. And it worked. Finally, she relented. "Okay. I'll stop now. You two try not to do anything above the PG level, ok?" With that, she threw the pillow she held back at her daughter and winked conspiratorially at them before closing the door behind herself.

Kenshin's knees gave out, and he crumpled onto the bed. "I don't think I've ever been so embarrassed in all my life." He buried his reddened face in his hands.

Kaoru laughed, and said, "Welcome to my world, Kenshin no baka."

--

"What is it, Okina?" Aoshi cracked an eyelid. His uncle walked into the boy's Spartan room. There really weren't many furnishings. All of his clothing was in the closet, and the desk folded up into a small recess into the wall, and rather than using a bed, Aoshi opted for a traditional futon. He liked space. He never did like all of the clutter that most people took comfort in. There weren't even pictures on the wall. Or, at least there hadn't been.

"I was just checking how your day was." The man's face was set in a mask of studied innocence. If Aoshi had been in a mood to do so, he would have snorted at the feigned sentiment. He made no answer, and soon heard the man withdraw from the room.

He opened his eyes fully, looking across the room at the tiny picture framed in the middle of the far wall. What had possessed him to kiss her? He felt like banging his head on the tatami mat. If Himura ever found out…no. He didn't want to think about that. The only reason he'd kissed her was to illustrate for her the confusion he felt. Now, he found the unwelcome emotions flowing over him again, with no hope of beating them back. Aoshi knew her face better than he knew his own. Those eyes that danced, even when they looked at him. Her smile, that made even the sun seem dim. Everything else about her he knew, as well. The way she talked, the way she carried herself, and the way she walked…he nearly slapped himself. He really didn't need to think about that.

There were far too many issues for him to even entertain the idea of being with her, and it was for that reason that he was meditating. He needed to clear his head of her. That was easier said than done. Aoshi's sigh echoed in the nearly-empty room. He had dealt with sacrifice before, and this would be no different. That's it. Treat it just like all of the other sacrifices you've had to make…

Only he knew that this was different.

A/N: What, no punching bag? Maybe I didn't make them angsty enough? Ah, well. I'll try harder next time there's angst. So, I know it was short, but I had to do it that way. I love Kenshin. I don't know if I've said that already? But, anyway, I wanted to thank Ayuka for the great and wonderfully detailed review! Constructive criticism rocks! Anyway, I hope you liked it, and see you next chapter!