A/N : I'm glowing with these reviews, folks! Don't worry…it's a safe glow. Eyes are remaining normal. To the question of whether this is a ship-fic or not, I did put romance in the description, didn't I? I have a few ideas on how to work it in…but like I put in an earlier chapter, the whole "Mrs. Robinson" thing can be highly overrated for a story. And if you don't understand that reference, I suggest you ask an older female relative! (am I showing my age here?...no, just how informed I am…phew!). I admit to being a SJ shipper…but this story is all about twists, right? Winkwinknudgenudge
FYI, I'm surprised no one's dinged me for spelling Janet's name incorrectly. I do believe I've been typing "Fraser"…not "Frasier". Bad, Rah…go stand in a corner when you're done updating the next chapter.
Let's do the recap. Day 1 (am) – genders changed. Day 1 (pm) – shower scene and women's biology discussed. Day 2 (am) – lingerie shopping and Sam's sexual orientation not quite determined. Which brings us to…
Day 2 – pm
While they had taken two separate cars, Jack, Sam and Janet arrived back at the base together. All three were loaded with bags, filled with clothing, lingerie, and body care products. Jack had a smaller bag stashed in one of the larger ones filled with more secret and personal stuff.
He'd completed that mission after the first visit to the drug store, where Janet explained the differences between the various feminine hygiene products.
Flashback to the mall...
"There are almost as many types as there were bras." He had complained.
Janet smiled knowingly.
"Yes," she conceded, "Gone are the days of the plain, old simple tampon."
"That information is so not necessary."
They also purchased some vitamins geared towards women that were Jack's age and going through the same changes, as well as some herbal teas.
He had scoffed, but Janet insisted.
"The less medicine I have to give you, the happier I'll be." She had proclaimed stubbornly. "I don't want to run the risk of anything jeopardizing finding a cure."
At the thought of the cure, Jack promptly grabbed all the herbal teas and supplements within arms reach.
As they re-entered the main thru-fare of the mall, the pair noticed that Sam had disappeared. Spotting her striding quickly towards them, Jack raised an eyebrow.
"Sorry, sir...taking care of some personal things."
"Again, Carter? You really need to get a grip on that thing...no pun intended."
"It wasn't that, sir. Hey, um, Janet...I saw something I liked, but thought you'd like it more. Come with? Sir, can you give us fifteen minutes?"
Jack nodded in confusion but realized that he'd have some time to do his own little shopping spree.
All in the name of research, of course.
Once Janet and Sam were out of sight, he re-entered the drug store.
End flashback...
"Hey, Spacemonkey!" Jack announced himself as he peeked inside Daniel's office. "Glad to see you're up and about."
"Doctor's orders." Daniel said glumly. "Janet said that if I remained in the infirmary any longer, she was going to strap me to one of the beds and wheel me out into the corridor like some animal on display."
"Wouldn't put it past her." Jack nodded.
"I know." Daniel sighed. "She's a tough cookie."
"Just be glad she's on our side." Jack leaned back into the corridor to grab some bags. "We, uh, got these for you."
Daniel eyed the bags carefully.
"What is it?"
"You know…female stuff. Clothing. Bras…fascinating things, bras. Hope they fit. Razors. Cream. Shampoo."
"Bras, Jack? You bought me lingerie?"
"Well, Janet did actually."
"You know, that's hardly how I imagined her first gift to me to be."
"You imagine stuff like that?"
"Don't you about Carter?"
"Not going there, Daniel."
"Come on…let's have a girl talk." Daniel patted the chair beside him.
"I'm not having a girl talk…with you or anyone." Jack protested loudly. He glared at a passing crewman who snickered softly.
Daniel's phone rang. He acknowledged the person on the other end and hung up.
"That was Janet…she found out why Teal'c wasn't changed."
"Quick, Spacemonkey! To the bat-infirmary."
Jack pivoted and marched quickly down to doctor's domain. Daniel snagged the bag with the bras and followed him.
General Hammond looked at the walls around him…the diagnostic machinery…the syringes…at everything which wasn't SG-1.
Sam fumed.
Daniel's eyes widened.
Teal'c maintained his composure, but somehow looked pleased with himself.
Jack pursed his lips.
"So," he started. "Let me see if I understand this, Doctor Frasier. You're saying that Teal'c remained unchanged because he is, in essence, comfortable with his masculinity."
Janet nodded.
"Which implies, then, that I am not."
Janet nodded again.
"Please explain that to me."
"Teal'c's bloodwork shows a high testosterone count and a very dominant male chromosome. You and Doctor Jackson, while male, possess enough female traits to allow for this gender modification. And Major Carter, the opposite…enough male traits."
"You're saying that we have girlishly male DNA?" Daniel asked.
"In layman's terms…yes." Janet conceded.
"I think I'm offended here." Jack tilted his head to the side, pondering for a moment. "Nope. Scratch that. I know I'm offended here. I'm a man. Upon my birth, the doctor said 'congrats, it's a boy'. My birth certificate, drivers license, military id say I'm a man. Heck…I've contributed to offspring. I. Am. A. Man."
Jack looked at Carter.
"And Carter…she's a she. Okay, she's not a girly girl with flowery dresses and stuff…but her shampoo smells like vanilla and oranges which is definately not a guy thing…"
"Colonel?" Hammond interrupted, an eyebrow raised.
"We're a team, sir. I know what my team smells like."
"I don't know what Carter's shampoo smells like." Daniel piped up.
"That's because you're too busy trying to figure out which plane of existence you like better." Jack retorted.
"My shampoo preference aside," Sam started, "The Colonel has a point. At conception…"
"Ewww…can we not put me and the word conception in the same paragraph." Jack winced.
"…at conception," Sam continued, "Our gender is determined. X and Y or X and X. Once that decision is made, we are our gender. How can it have been switched?"
Janet shrugged.
"I don't know that yet. All I know is that Teal'c's DNA contains substantially less female attributes than those of our Colonel O'Neill and Doctor Jackson."
"Any thing yet from the MALP, sir?" Jack turned towards the General.
"Not yet. It's due to report back in one hour." Hammond dipped his bald head towards the group. "If that will be all…"
The senior officer started to leave the infirmary, but paused by Jack.
"You know, Colonel, you make a very attractive woman." And then Hammond left the room.
Jack whipped his head sharply to face the remaining group.
"Did he just hit on me?"
Daniel stuck around the infirmary as the rest of the team paraded out.
"Hey, umm…Janet?" He called out to the petite woman.
"Yes?" She turned around.
"Thanks...thanks for the bras and stuff." He said quietly. He interlaced his fingers and un-interlaced them and re-interlaced...
Okay, why not just broadcast the nerves, Jackson?
Janet smiled softly.
"You're welcome, Daniel."
"You know what Jack said about Carter's smell?"
"Yes."
"I wasn't lying when I said I don't hers."
Janet looked confused.
"I don't understand."
"Well, you see, I was too busy noticing yours." He stammered out, a hand waving small circles in his attempt to help explain. "Coconut shampoo and cucumber and mint in your cream."
"Oh." Janet looked up to see a pair of blue eyes closer andstaring into her brown ones. Her mouth opened. "Oh."
"Yeah, oh." Daniel ran a hand gently down Janet's face, caressing it "You know, Jack says I have horrible timing and I'm inclined to believe him. I mean…why am I telling you this now of all times?"
Janet blinked once…twice…and cleared her throat.
"Do you feel safer telling me now that you're in this body?" She tried to remain clinical...doctor-like...but her palms were sweating and suddenly she felt flushed.
"This body? Hah!" Daniel's voice was harsh. "Janet, this body doesn't stop my feelings…it's still me here…I just can't act on them now. I mean, I can...there's that policy about don't-ask-don't-tell...and there are societies in which this would be perfectly acceptable, but..."
"Oh."
"I gotta get out of here. Thanks again."
Daniel grabbed the bag and ran out of the infirmary.
Janet stared at the doors as they closed behind Daniel.
Daniel said he was attracted to her. A man in a woman's body said that he was attracted to her. A woman's mouth had said the words. Janet leaned against a examination table.
Is anything ever normal around here?