Thanks for everyone who reviewed; it means so much to me;
Chica De Los Ojos Café; Thanks so much for what you said, and I hope I don't let you down with what I write. Fingers crossed
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The flight home was painful.
That was the only word you could call it really. Painful. If not for the ones who had lost someone close to them, then for the ones who had to see them cry and sob over her.
There were ones who cried, Storm silently shed tears, when she switched to auto pilot she walked over to Kurt and then cried in his arms. While he whispered calming words of hope and inspiration to her.
Scott was just sitting with Jean, thinking over everything that happened in the past days, thinking of how he could have changed things or how stupid he was for not being able to find one.
Jean was just asleep, dreaming of what had happened and how this would change everything. How things were so much more complicated now, and how she was going to have to deal with it all. How she was going to tell everyone about what she knew.
The Professor was sitting, taking calming breaths. Thinking about what Rogue had just done, how brave she must have been, and how powerful. He knew she was one of his most passionate students, but where had she gotten all that power from?
Logan was just in disbelief, one of the let downs of living forever, seeing the things all around you die, but he never thought that it would be Rogue. She was so young. So much to live for. So much for her to do that he never could.
The kids just sat there, watching these people, who had saved them, there teachers, there watchers, who had just lost one of there own. They should be happy, really, I mean they just escaped, they were free. But they either looked down to their feet or hugging one of their own.
Bobby. He was the worst. He was in hysteria. Sobbing, crying out her name, for her to come back. When ever someone said something, like "She's gone." He screamed at them, telling them they were wrong. That she was alive. She couldn't be gone though, cause if he's alive she doesn't die, they promised each other, when she was about to fly the jet. He couldn't live without her. He loved her. But she was gone, isn't she? She's not coming back she left him on his own. John's gone, so was his family and so has she, he was alone.
He sat back on the floor in a new fit of tears, he was alone. His heart turned to ice, as he became Iceman for the first time. His tears slowly turned into little buds of ice. He didn't notice, he didn't care.
When they got back to the mansion, no-one really said anything unless they had to.
Kitty came out of hiding and looked around confused at their pained faces. Jean took her to the side and told her what had happened.
Kitty looked at her in disbelief. Her eyes wide as she tried to blink it all away, but only tears came. Her breathing became shallow as she let out a distressful cry. Everyone just slowly walked away, to where ever they wanted to be to greave. Leaving Kitty to cry out for her lost best friend. Her piercing cries just said it for all of them.
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Xavier held a memorial service for Rogue a week later. Everyone showed up. Each united in their grief.
The day was beautiful, it only made it harder.
Nothing mattered to any of them at the moment of pure sickening silence as they all said their final goodbye.
Everyone blamed them selves. Most of all of them were Logan, Jean and Bobby.
Bobby just now spent time in the danger room, working on his powers, trying to make himself stronger, more powerful and in control. If he wasn't doing that, he was yelling at himself, telling how useless he is. How he could have frozen the water. How he could have not mucked up the jet when they flew it. Still his anger was biting at every inch of him. And nothing he could do was stopping it.
Logan was just doing what he did best, went to bars, shot down beers and usually got into fights. It didn't help either. He made a promise to her a year ago, never to let her get hurt. And he failed miserably. What made it worse is that he could smell her, everywhere at the mansion smelt like her sweet scent of vanilla and shampoo. He couldn't take it so he went to the dark smoking dank stench of this bar.
Jean couldn't take it, she couldn't tell anyone about what she knew, they would hate her, blame her. Every time she looked at someone, she had to look away, afraid their eyes could see the truth. It didn't help that she was getting morning sickness. Scott just thought it was because of the pain she felt. How was she supposed to tell him? Hey by the way, it was meant to be me who died not Rogue. And oh Yer I'm carrying your baby. She would have to, she couldn't hide it anymore. She'd do it tonight. He was taking her out to dinner. She'll tell him then. She only hoped he'd forgive her.
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Jean sat waiting for Scott to come back from the bathroom. This was it. If she didn't do it now, it would only get harder and more painful for all of them.
She took at sharp intake of air as she saw him coming back. She just set down her napkin on the table and looked down at it, before looking up to meet his red eyes.
Scott was worried about her. She was either taking this all to hard or wasn't telling him something. It was both.
"Scott," She breathed out, sounding a lot weaker then how she wanted it to. She tired again, "Scott, It's about what happened……" She paused, thinking about what she was about to say, running for one last time, how she hoped it would. "Rogue, she gave her life, to……..to save mine." She stopped, dreading what was going to happen next. She moved one of her hands under the table and placed it on her belly.
"She gave it to save all of ours, Jean. What she did was very brave and-"
Jean looked up at him and explained it, "No, it was meant to be me who died, saving you." She looked at his confused face and started to explain again. "I was meant to go out of the black bird and stop the water using my powers. But Rogue stopped me, and absorbed my powers. It was meant to be me who stopped it water, me who made the jet fly, and me who should be lying in the bottom of Alkali Lake. Scott, she took my fate and made it hers because... because she knew what we could have and didn't want me to throw it away."
Scott looked at her. Taking all what she was saying in, and breathing out the questions she left him to ask.
"What do we have, Jean?" He said, knowing from the way she said that, that it was more then just their soon marriage.
She looked down at where her hand still laid.
"I'm pregnant." She whispered.
Scott looked up at her. Not sure how he was feeling, joy, anger, excitement, love, bliss, confusion. He just lifted up his hand to meet hers which laid on the table.
"She..." He said, pushing away his emotions, encase he had misunderstood, and so he wouldn't be disappointed, "She took your place, so... so you could have our baby?" Slowly, he saw her nod, and stood up and hugged Jean, smiling in her hair, thoughts running through his head. I'm gunna be a father. To Thank you Rogue, thank you so much.
Jean smiled in relief and let her trapped tears run freely down her cheeks, "And your not mad?" She asked, quietly.
"Of course not!" he exclaimed, looking her in the eyes. "Why would I be? We're having a baby!"
"Thank God." Jean whispered. Joy taking over her. This had worked out so much better then she had hoped.
Scott looked in her eyes once more. He glanced down at her stomach, and a perfect smile graced his handsome face, "We're having a baby!" At this Jean returned the smile as he picked her up and spun her around in the middle of the restaurant.
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Everyone seemed to be moving on, none of them forgot Rogue or stopped thinking of her, but they got back into lessons and work that had to be done.
What happened at Alkali Lake was still unclear to some, they all knew what had happened but it was explaining it that showed little gaps and blurred facts. Like what force had taken over Rogue in the last second? Where was she now? Logan, Scott, Jean and Ororo had all gone back to look for her. But there was nothing. Like she had never been there. Her body couldn't have been washed away too far, the lake was enclosed.
Logan had a bad feeling; he could smell others, not from around there. And he could smell Rogue. Something wasn't right. He had high senses but there was no way he would be able to pick up her scent unless she had been alive and here only a few hours ago.
He smelt her confusion, hope and vulnerability and he didn't like the fact she was feeling this at the same time the others were there. He couldn't explain how she could be alive. They had all seen her die, drown. Not even Jean could explain it.
Bobby was waiting for when they returned, pacing back and fourth. Tears welling in his eyes but going away as he tried not to cry. Cry out in frustration, fear, lose. How could she leave him? Jean told him, she said that she had finally got to be a hero. But he didn't want her to be a hero if it meant she would have died. And she was a hero, she saved him, she was there for him, when he came out to his parents, when he felt he could never love, she was there. But where was she now? Nowhere. Lying in the bottom of a lake. What kind of hero deserved to be at rest in such a place full of hate and death?
When the X-men walked in, he looked at them, his eyes full of hope, but it was soon lost at their downhearted looks. He just looked down, trying to stop the tears welling up again, and pitying himself for thinking that there was even a chance of her still being alive.
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"I don't get it!" Logan said, slamming his fist into the metal table in the war-room.
"I understand. This is what I'm trying to find out. I've looked on Cerebro a thousand times. I can not pick up a single trace of her. I know you thought you sensed her but are you sure it wasn't just you thinking you did out of hope?" Xavier said calmly to all the X-men in around the table.
Logan sighed. "I don't know anymore, Chuck. I can't believe she's gone. It's not right."
"Yes, it's not right. She didn't need to sacrifice herself. It was me who was supposed to be in the bottom of that lake. Not her." Jean said, looking down at her hands which lay limp on the surface of the table.
"She made her choice. And it was a brave one. When she touched you, she knew what she was doing, what would happen to her. She became a martyr, she suffered for a cause." Ororo said sadly. Under the table Kurt took her hand in his and gave it a slight squeeze. And smiling slightly at her.
"De only problem about being a Martyr is dat of which you have to die." Kurt said.
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"So what we gunna do 'bout 'er?" Someone said in a Cajun accent.
"She don't remember about her past, I say we take 'er in and bring her up as thief." Another said.
"Yer, look at what happened that last time we did somethin' like dat. We got de best thief we had in years, right?" one closer to the back said, a slight laugh in his voice.
"Yer, but what if people want 'er? It seems she weren't de only person dere." A lower voice said, more serious.
There was some quite exchange after that comment. Only it was drowned out by someone saying, "If dat de case, we keep 'er 'ere, til she well again, see what she wants to do. Until den, we keep 'er under lock an key, keep 'er guarded. She wanna stay, she stay, she wanna leave. We ain't de bad guys, we let her go."
That was the end of the meeting, the leader had spoken, as they left he called over to one of them, asking them to stay behind.
"She be a mutant. Keep her safe. You two will get on well, same age, same situation, and don't scare her. Remy, dis girl, She's strong, did you see what she did to us when we rescued her? Well think of dat and think dat waswhen she was near death." He said to him, showing trust and power in this man.
"Okay." Remy said, looking at his father. He began to walk out when he was stopped again.
"Oh and Remy?"
"Yer."
"Don't do anything to confuse her more,Kay?"
Remy smirked, and pushed his glasses up higher, "Kay, but if she come on to Remy,Remy can't keep that promise." he gave a chuckle and walked out closing the door. And started to walk towards their new guests room.
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Hope you like. Please review.