Disclaimer: If I owned them, Stacy would still be on the show snogging House's face off. They belong to David Shore and his minions, the cruel geniuses. "Gone" lyrics belong to U2.
Notes: I'm a young writer with a fragile ego, but I like feedback good or bad. It's like crack Vicodin to me. There is a sequel to this fic that is currently in progress.

"They are the things that should make you the most humble, because they are not things you have earned." (Bono, on natural gifts; from Bono in Conversation with Michka Assayas)

Pain and white light greet him Saturday morning. Pain in his leg, his head and everywhere else too. He's entangled in his bedding and her scent. He tosses the covers away and stares up at the ceiling and wonders where it doesn't smell like her. He sits up and spots the phone on the bedside table. So that was how he ended up here. He had to get out of his house. Everything in it reminded him of her right now.

He slowly got up. He'll never get over how much of a chore it is just to get out of bed in the mornings. He's got to drag the remains of his leg out to the side, set it in position, then slowly put his weight on his left leg as he grips his cane. He knows where the blame rests for this. Then again, it's easier to climb out of bed than it is to climb out of a coffin.

If he believed in all that new age bullshit, he'd say it was karma. Drink your tea every morning, feel the Chi flow through you as you contort your body into irregular positions during $50 Yoga classes, the whole shebang made him sick. Everything else he could explain away, but karma, it seemed to be everywhere. You just had to wait for it.

For the longest time, everything seemed to come easy to him. He didn't know why and he didn't care. High school, college, medical school, girls, most of his cases; none of it took much effort on his part. Then it all seemed to catch up with him five years ago.

He wonders how karma has caught up with Stacy. He can't think of anything. She's still beautiful, she loves her job and she's got a husband that will do whatever it takes for her to be happy. He wonders if he's her punishment. Though Mark loves her completely, she'll never be able to give back to him all the way because part of her is somewhere else. It's in his apartment, it's in PPTH and it's in him. He hopes that hurts her as much as it hurts him; having a chunk of yourself taken out scars in more way than one.

If it's karma that's after him, he feels his dues have been paid. Suffering through the pain of an infarction, living with half a leg and pushing away the best thing that ever happened to him twice because of it was more than debt re-paid in his opinion. Why didn't she just let him die? She's got lots of reasons for that, but that's not what he's after. Maybe he should've died; maybe karma was supposed to finish him off. Maybe he's still paying up now because Stacy let him live. If he's got half a life now when he was supposed to lose all of it on the table, he's got a lot coming to him.

If karma wants him, it's going to have to catch him first. He might have a bum leg, but he can still outrun an unseen force. He gets up, showers and throws a few items into a knapsack. He grabs his jacket and locks up the apartment. The motorcycle gives a satisfying roar as starts it up. It's 7 AM on Saturday morning and the world is still quiet save for the cripple on his bike. The sun is behind him, the world whips by, quieted by the dull hum of the motor and for now, he feels free.

You get to feel so guilty, got so much for so little
Then you find that feeling just won't go away
You're holding on to every little thing so tightly
Till there's nothing left for you anyway

Goodbye, you can keep this suit of lights
I'll be up with the sun
I'm not coming down
I'm not coming down
I'm not coming down

You wanted to get somewhere so badly
You had to lose yourself along the way
You change your name but that's okay, it's necessary
And what you leave behind you don't miss anyway

Goodbye, you can keep this suit of lights
I'll be up with the sun
I'm not coming down
I'm not coming down
I'm not coming down

And I'm already gone
Felt that way all along
Closer to you every day
Didn't want it that much anyway

You're taking steps that make you feel dizzy
Then you get to like the way it feels
You hurt yourself, you hurt your lover
Then you discover what you thought was freedom was just greed

Goodbye, no emotional goodnight
We'll be up with the sun
Are you still holding on
I'm not coming down
I'm not coming down

Gone
Sun
Done
Sun
Gone
Sun
Done
Sun
Sun