It's the next chapter! Yay! -is excited for self- Hehe. I think you guys will like this one. :) And this post is dedicated to Gianna for curing my siggy retardedness on Hee.

smittyloveshpfic- Lol. Yes, I guess I am. Teehee. I think the end of this one is a sort-of cliff hanger too. Whoops. ;) DontCallMeLawrence- Hmm, I'll have to check that book out. I thought she never got it? That's what my history teacher said. chaeli.mee.- Thanks. I try to update as soon as I can. :) ilovecoldplay3- -huggles- Thank you! Your amazing. You really are. Black'sCrystal-Teehee. Did I do that? MagicalWinry- I think I've had every person yell at me for my cliff-hangers. Hah. Yes, I know I should. Pia O'Leary- Lol. Thank you! There's a bit of a twist with James in this chapter. Your not going to like it very much. -evil laugh- Outematamakin- First of all, I'm really sorry if I just spelled your screenname wrong. It's wayy long. Teehee. That rhymed. Anywho, thanks! And, yes, he is. Leanna- -evil laugh- YES! I am! You've finally caught me! Mwahaha. lol. Thank you. I like confused!Lily too. AKANinaBlack- Well, apparently my cliff-hangers are also quite upsetting. Lol. Don't worry, I'm updating now! candycloudz13- HAHA! Yes, that's it! That's why I write so many cliffhangers. lol. Feymist- Your review had me cracking up. I'll try and get that in for you soon. -wink-

Thank you soo much for all of the reviews! They're love.

Chapter 5: Contact

Oh God. He wasn't moving. Sirius shook his head. He wouldn't believe it. He refused to believe it. And yet, it wouldn't go away. Remus was still lying on this cold floor, pale and lifeless looking. Dead looking. Why wasn't he getting up? Why wasn't he getting up and saying this was just a stupid joke? Why?

And then it hit Sirius, hit him like a ton of bricks. Remus was dead.

"No."

He choked out the word, and suddenly, he ran towards Remus, dropping to the floor beside him. Kneeling down, he threw his arms over Remus' body, noticing how unnaturally cold it was.

"Oh God, Remus, no."

Remus had to be alive. Maybe I should run and get help, he thought, looking for any signs of life in Remus. His Remus. But then, with complete certainty, Sirius knew that he couldn't leave to get help. He couldn't leave to go anywhere. Not without Remus. If Remus was truly dead, then so was Sirius. His soul was worthless without Remus. Dead. Gone.

He lay down next to Moony, and spooned himself against the boy. A faint rustling whispered beneath him. Sitting up again, he looked down. A folded piece of paper lay under him. Curiously, Sirius unfolded the paper and began to read it. It was in Moony's handwriting.

Dear Sirius,

So it was for him. Interesting.

I'm sorry if I offended you in any way. That's the farthest thing from what I want. The truth is, if for some reason you didn't believe me, I love you, Siri. More than anyone should ever love anyone else. So if I hurt you somehow, I apologize. Don't worry, though. I won't be a bother to you anymore. Because, you see Siri, I'm dying. If you still love me at all, then I'm sorry, so, so sorry, for ever leaving you. Merlin, this is harder than I thought it would be.-

God. Sirius didn't know if he could keep reading. Fresh wet stains, made by Sirius' tears, blotted out old darker ones. Shaking slightly, Sirius forced himself to read on.

I don't know if you'll be sad that I'm dying. Maybe you will. For some odd reason, I hope you don't feel so. I hope you never have to shed a single tear. Because you don't deserve it. Something as beautiful as you should never feel pain. Never. So I hope you hate me. I hope you find joy and love and laughter in life. Because I love you. And I'm dying. That's what kills me. Never being able to see you again. I'm sorry if it disgusts you that I'm writing this, but I have to. You have to know. God, I'll miss your beautiful large smile, your loud barking laugh, your arousing musky smell, your dark humorous eyes. I'll miss you, Padfoot. You.

In case your wondering at all, I'm dying for a reason pertaining to the werewolf in me. If you want to know more read Wonders of The Werewolf. I don't think I could explain to you in this letter.

And if you ever loved me, even just a little bit, know that I'll always love you. I'll always be with you. For if it's true that spirits really fly around the Earth realm when they pass on, know that my love for you is deathless. With my last breath I ever take, I shall whisper your name. Know that if a soft breeze fans your cheek, it is my breath. If a cool air passes by your temple, it is my spirit. How gladly I would wash away with my tears every little spot on your happiness, because I love you, Sirius. Even when death do we part.


Sirius broke off with a sob. How could Remus write such wonderful things about him? He'd been such a fucking idiot! He'd killed Remus, and Remus was kind enough not to even blame him. Remus loved him. What a horrible mistake he'd made. And Remus hadn't even told him! When Remus had confessed to Sirius that he loved him, he hadn't said that he could die without Sirius' approval. Sirius didn't deserve Remus. Merlin, but if Remus was alive, he'd try. Loving Remus wouldn't be a challenge.

But, oh Sirius! I feel gratified to God that he has let me spend these blissful times with you. That he's showed me some happiness and love in this world. I shall wait with sad patience until we meet again. In another world, in another time. For it is not time for you to go yet, however may it be mine.

I shall love you always. Forever and beyond.

All my love,
Remus

Sirius sat back on his heels. And, then, unable to hold back the forceful wave of anguish, he broke down again. The tears flowed down his paled cheeks freely, unrestrained. Sobs racked his body, and he let the paper slowly flutter to the floor as he dropped his head in his hands. Crying seemed to be the only thing he could do. Maybe he was still breathing, he didn't know, didn't really care. Anything that he could have loved was gone, and it was his fault. His!

Sirius drew his hands away from his face, and gazed down at Remus again. He was still beautiful. Devastatingly so. Involuntarily, one of his hands reached out and swept a soft golden lock from Remus' forehead. His hand lightly brushed down the cold face, and trailed over the pale, slightly pink lips. They were so soft under his touch, and Sirius knew that if Remus had truly loved him, then Sirius owed this to him. He leaned down, and lightly, ever so lightly, brushed his lips against Remus' own.

Suddenly, those perfect, pale, soft lips were kissing him back. Sirius gasped and pulled away. Sparkling pale blue eyes stared up at him.

"Rem!" He cried and threw himself on top of the boy below him. Quite suddenly, he began to sob into Remus' shoulder, wetting the boy's soft worn black robes.

"I thought you'd left me. I thought you'd died! Oh, Remus, I couldn't have lived without you. Never. I would have died too," Sirius pulled up and stared intensely down into those haunting blue pools, "I love you, Rem. More than I've ever loved anyone or anything else."

Remus felt shocked beyond belief. Had he really just said that?

"You...you do?" He croaked. Sirius kissing him had brought him back, he knew that. It had filled him with such a golden warmth, he couldn't resist it. And Merlin, he wanted those lips on him again.

"Yes. God, yes." Sirius' voice was husky and low, and it sent shivers down Remus' spine. So he said the only thing he could think of at that moment. The only thing he wanted to think of.

"Kiss me."

And Sirius did. His smooth inviting mouth crushed against Remus'. The kiss was anything but gentle, and Remus welcomed it gratefully, kissing him back full force, with everything he had. Sirius' surprisingly soft mouth kissed him again and again, leaving Remus gasping for breath. A warm tongue trailed along his lips, silently begging for entrance, and Remus' moaned, readily accepting. Their tongues raked together in urgency, caressing and exploring, battling in an intricate dance for dominance. This cold deadly room didn't seem so cold anymore, but stifling hot.

Sirius' mouth left his, and he groaned in frustration, but was soon satisfied as that wet hot mouth connected with his neck. It licked, nipped and sucked greedily on his smooth pale flesh. His long slender fingers curled in Sirius' soft ebony hair, as his talented tongue lightly flicked over Remus' collar bone. God, that was driving him insane. Roughly, Remus pulled Sirius' head back up and smashed his own mouth against Sirius', pushing his tongue hurriedly inside the hot cavern. Strong tan hands ran through his hair pulling him flush to the lean trim body above him. Remus could feel Sirius' hard length pressing against his own arousal, and he groaned, arching his-

"Oi! Think you two could breath for a minute!"

Remus yelped and pulled away, glancing wildly toward the doorway, where the voice had come from. Uh-oh, Remus thought fearfully. James. Sirius groaned, almost as if in pain, and buried his head in the crook of Remus' neck.

"Having fun were you?" James smirked, sounding disgusted.

Sirius lifted his head to turn and glare in their friend's direction. "Yes, actually I was. I would appreciate it if you could leave so I could get on with my fun."

Glancing confusedly between Sirius and James, Remus lifted an inquisitive eyebrow. "So..so you're okay with this?"

Remus fidgeted uncomfortably. James was taking an awfully long time answering him.

Well, it is yet again the end of another chapter. Review please!