Chappie 6: Hannibal Spectacular and Personal Throbbing

"Why did you leave?" I was to busy crying to recognize that it was Erik. "Lily, talk to me." I looked back up at him; he had his new porcelain mask on and I had make-up as a façade. He pulled a handkerchief out of his jacket and wiped it up. "Now, talk."

He sat down and I did absolutely nothing. "I don't want to talk about it." He got a parental look on his face and I gave him a slight smirk.

"Lily, I know you wouldn't do that. Me and you have talked about everything so, just talk."

"Of course, but - "

"But what?"

"'What' is exactly what I don't want to talk about!" I turned my back to him and started to cry silently. He put his hand on my shoulder, leaned down, kissed my cheek and left.

I slid my hand to my cheek and couldn't believe it. I went over to my armoire and looked in the mirror; no wonder the call it stage make-up. It'll make you look like a monster! I laughed and went to the sink and washed off all of the make-up.

I looked at the clock and decided it was best to start heading down to the costume area and re-do my make-up and hair. I saw all my colleagues stare at me do to my puffy eyes from crying but I kept a straight head to show my fellow dancers that I can take anyone, anytime.

The whole time I was putting my make-up on, I got weird stares from everyone there. I got up and left to see who was attending tonight's performance.

I looked over it rather quickly; a full house, like Andre had announced but there was a fatal shock that made me drop the list...

I danced my heart out that night and noticed them in the audience. I don't think they recognized it was me though but, she has become quite...'well-off' so to say, in areas while I stayed thin-framed. She got all the attention of the wealthy gentlemen, including the Viscount. Raoul gained control and went to find his Little Lotte.

I started walking down to the chapel when I heard Meg and Christine coming out of it. I ran behind a wall and then proceeded down into my sanctuary.

I found the old portrait of my family; it hurt so much every time I saw it but it's who I am and always will be. I found the stack of music that I had been composing and worked on my latest song. It was difficult because it was everything I knew and then it desolved onto the paper.

(lyrics to "I'm w./ U"

I don't know what made me choose to write music. Probably because Erik but when I heard him play the violin, my heart sank. It captivated me in such a way...music was my first true love.

I had invited Erik for a celebration drink but he had "plans", which I didn't believe a word of it so I decided to have a glass of wine and go down to him.

I felt kind of silly so I think the wine was starting to take effect. It wore off fairly quick, but when I got down there, I wish I was drunk and hallucinating.

I saw Erik did have plans...to bring that cheniee down and seduce her. He was on the other side of the organ, singing to her. Then, he did something I saw coming but it hurt; he twirled her and started caressing her body. 'What a gentleman!'

He continued singing to her and led her to the secret room that I was forbidden to see. He opened it and there stood a mannequin of her in a magnificent wedding gown. She fainted and I crouched down behind the rock I was behind, covered my mouth, and started to cry. I finally got the sense I should leave before I went mad. I believe I was heard leaving but he didn't give any reaction to it.

When I got to my room, I popped the cork out of the wine and chugged the entire bottle. I broke the bottle and sliced my hand and fell asleep over the rest of the broken glass on the floor. I was so anger, I had cried myself to sleep.

I heard something...actually someone in my room so I rose my head slowly. The glass was impressed and stuck to my head and my make-up was still on so it was all smeared. I held my body weight up by my hands, which ended up getting even more cut up and I looked around. A large figure was at my armoire, back turned away from me, face down so I couldn't see their face in the mirror.

"Lily," it was Erik. "Why are you doing this?" He spun around, his face covered with tears, puffy-red eyes. I looked up at him, started to cry and looked around myself.

There was a bloody mess around where I had been tossing and turning at night. I looked down at my body; glass-shards covered my once flawless skin and I was blood stained. My thigh held a large piece so I pulled it out. The pain rushed up to my mouth. I gasped and held the open wound tightly, rocking myself back and forth while I was still crying.

I looked over at Erik again; he wasn't taking it well. "Why did you do this?"

I stood up clumsily and held onto my leg w one hand, my bed post with the other. I struggled with the pain and speaking, "You remember that 'what' I didn't want to talk about?" He nodded and I stumbled to my wash bin. "That's what this is about." I started to fall when he grabbed me gently and carried me to my bed. "I need to clean the wounds."

He brought the dish over and a cloth and soaked it in there. "Hand me your arm." I did so and he went to work pulling the remains of glass out and washing my cuts. When he was done, I had counted over 50 major cuts from me sleeping on the glass-covered floor. The wash bowl could have easily been mistaken for a bowl of blood (it had been washed out twice!) and the cloth...I threw it away.

"You'll need to stay in bed for at least a week. "I rolled my eyes, crossed my arms gingerly, and huffed.

He left to fetch Mme. Giry and I didn't hear from him until that night.

Ok, next chappie: Il Muto