I don't cry. I haven't cried for a long, long while, and I don't intend to start now. Instead, I take my frustrations out on my bedroom door when I get home, punching until my knuckles are wet with blood, the door itself smeared with it. I lower my fists, letting them drip-drip onto the wooden floor, my breathing ragged, face contorted into an angry snarl. I hate him. I hate his smirk, his sly words, the way just seeing him walking towards me makes my breathing heavy and gives me butterflies. But more than that, much more, I hate the way he made me feel before he shattered the moment with those words. The way he was so cocky that he assumed that I would be willing to be with someone like him. The conversation replays in my mind, the kiss in the corridor, the feel of his lips brushing my ear, his voice like velvet. I bristle at the memory, raising a fist to strike the door again, but the cheerful jingle of my mobile phone interrupts me, and I just stand there for a moment, staring at the smudged blood painting the surface before I abandon the door for a while.
"What's up, Mi?" I ask wearily, sinking down onto my bed with a choked sigh.
"Xiao? Are you okay? You sound weird."
"I'm fine. Just got back from training. What's up?"
"I want details, missy." She sounds like she's smiling.
"About what?"
"What do you think? What happened after I left you alone with Mr. Kazama?" she asks slyly.
"Nothing."
"Nothing? Yeah, sure."
"It's true." My hands are still bleeding.
"...Are you sure you're okay? He didn't upset you, did he?"
"No."
"Then what happened?"
"He said..." I feel tears prick my eyelids and blink them away angrily. "He asked what the Chem homework was."
"Well, he's got a funny way of getting your attention, Xiao." Miharu says with a laugh. "Y'know, I think he likes you."
"Yeah?"
"He kissed you."
"Yeah."
"So, what are you going to do about it?"
"Not much."
"You're kidding, right?"
I hear my mother's voice calling me and give a grateful half-smile.
"I've gotta go, Mi. Mum's shouting me. I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay?"
She sighs, irritated. "Yeah, whatever. See you tomorrow then."
"Bye."
I drop the phone onto the bed, looking down at my fists and wondering how I'm gonna explain them. Eventually, I slip some gloves on and lie that 'it's the fashion these days y'know', when mum asks.
The next day, with aching hands, and an even worse head, I manage to drag myself into school. I didn't sleep too well last night, and even with a pound of concealer under each eye, I'm pretty sure my dark circles are still visible. I kept waking up every few hours from stupid and/or disturbing dreams, and although I can't remember too much of them, I do remember one part vividly. I remember black silken sheets beneath my fingertips, soft breathing, someone's lips tracing down my throat. I couldn't make out a face in the dream, but I could feel strands of hair tickling my face as someone kissed my forehead. I'll have to dig out my dream guide from under my bed tonight and have a look through it. It's not very often I have sexy dreams, but that one was enough to give me a tingling in the pit of my stomach strong enough to wake me.
"Xiaoyu!" I slow down, hearing Miharu call my name, and turn slightly as she jogs up to me.
"Didn't you hear me calling you? I've been following you for ages!"
I smile tiredly.
"Sorry, hon. I was miles away."
"Thinking about you-know-who?" she says with a knowing look, and I shake my head no.
"I keep having weird dreams."
"Nervous about the tournament, eh?"
"Maybe."
"I wonder if Jin is?" Miharu asks, trying to gauge my reaction. But I'm not looking at her.
"Speak of the devil..." I mumble, nodding over her shoulder and turning away. She whirls around, spotting Jin walking into school and gives me an evil look. Before I know it, she's grabbing my arm and pulling me towards him, even as I protest and try and wriggle free of her grip and pry her hands off my wrist. Jeez, that girl's got strong fingers.
"Hey." Jin says smoothly as we approach.
"Morning, Jin," Miharu smiles. "You okay?"
"Can't complain. Morning, Xiaoyu." He fixes me with a cool gaze, and I turn my face away. Miharu nudges me.
"Come on, Xiao, say hi." she hisses.
"What am I, five?" I hiss back, annoyed.
Luckily, I manage to glimpse a familar head of long red hair in the distance, so I twist out of Miharu's death grip, rubbing my wrist a little, and glowering at them both.
"Oh, look, Hwoarang's there."
"How nice." Jin murmurs sarcastically, and I shoot him another poisonous look before I head off.
"Bye Miharu." I say pointedly.
I know I'm being really childish, but at the moment I really couldn't care less. I've still got my gloves on.
I manage to get through the day without running into Jin again, and even though Miharu tells me off for 'being so nasty to him' in the morning, I don't regret it one bit. It's only when I'm walking home that I start to wonder whether I should have done things differently. I don't get to ponder too much, though, because Hwoarang catches up to me, telling me that I'm acting weird so he's taking me for a coffee and that's final. I accept, and we walk together in companiable silence for a while, before he punches me on the arm to get my attention.
"Back with us?" he asks with a smirk. "I was asking you a question, lady."
"Sorry, Hwo. I've been like this all day, haven't I?"
"Oh, don't worry." he grins. "You've realised I'm a...what does Mi call it....'a hot piece of ass', right? And now you're awkward around me." He gives an exaggerated sigh. "I've lost more friends that way..."
I don't reply. I'm thinking about what Jin said yesterday. Why could he never be with me? Why say that? What did he mean by 'someone like you'? And why... why do I care so much?
"Okay." Hwoarang says, face serious. "What's up?" He stops in front of me, giving me that tell-me-or-else look. Damn him, he knows it's the only one that works with me. But you know what? I really want to tell him the truth. He's a guy. Maybe what Jin said was a guy thing? So I tell him everything there is to tell, and by the time I'm done, tears are welling up in my eyes again, no matter how hard I try to blink them away. I look up at Hwoarang hopefully, expecting him to crack a joke or try to grope my rear as usual. But he's still serious as he takes my hand in his, peeling my gloves off. They're stuck to my knuckles. The look on his face is a mixture between disgust, anger....and more anger, and I feel a few tears slip out. He must think I'm so stupid.
"Bastard." he snarls. My eyes widen as he wraps his arms around me, pulling me close to him.
"Fucking asshole." He holds me tighter, stroking my hair with one hand, and I finally let the tears fall, burying my face in his shoulder, my body shaking with supressed sobs. I'm not just crying about yesterday, though. I'm crying about everything. About losing my temper and hurting my fists, about things before that, things before Jin.
"Xiaoyu, stop crying." he says quietly. "He's not worth it, Xiaoyu."
"It's not just him..." I sob.
"Then what?"
"It's everything... Exams, tournaments, training..." I clumsily wipe my eyes with the back of my hand and look up into Hwoarang's concerned eyes.
"I miss when I didn't have to think about this stuff."
Hwoarang gently kisses my hairline, rubbing my back slowly, murmuring things that don't really make much sense, but sooth me, and as my tears stop, I wrap my arms around his waist, placing my cheek against his chest. I can hear his heart beating, tapping out its rhythm through his black t-shirt.
"You okay now?" he asks, but doesn't let me go, even as I nod. And I wonder, for a long moment, why we're not together. I know I've wondered this before, but I can't quite recall the answer.
His hand slides down from where it was in my hair, to my shoulder, to my waist, to my hip. He grabs my ass with one hand, and glaring daggers at him, I remember.
A/N: I had to change the title. I noticed it last night and though 'Oh please....eye-roll-worthy much?' Monochrome is the title of a song by Ayumi Hamasaki, and I was listening to it when I first wrote this fic. It gives me inspiration to work on it. How imaginative I am.
Oh, but...but...getting faster with the updates, aren't I? Well, actually, I'm a bit of a cheater, m'dears, because this and chapter 9 used to be one big long chapter, but I decided to split them into two so that I could retain my title as Mistress of Short-n-Sweet. ::grins at Mel::
Knowing me, this'll be the last update for...oh...another six months? Just kidding. Honest. Oh, and is the flirty, gropy Hwoarang 'joke' getting old yet? ;) Thank you so much for the great reviews, they have me grinning like a fool.