Can we talk?" She asked, leaning against the door.
"About what?"
"She hesitated.
"About last week."
"What is there to say?"
"Well, I could start off with 'I'm sorry."
"You don't have to be sorry, Kerri. It wasn't your fault."
"Yes it was. I should have realized….I should have paid more attention to what I was doing."
Erik rose, crossing the room to the bed. He was looking for something in the nightstand.
"It wasn't your fault, it was mine. I am the adult; I should have stopped all of this from happening in the beginning."
He carried a new bottle of ink back to his seat.
"It is easy to forget that you're only seventeen." He continued. Kerri closed her eyes. This wasn't going exactly as she envisioned.
"Why are you avoiding me?" She finally asked.
"What?"
"You haven't looked at me during this whole conversation. You looked at your feet when you passed me just now. And I want to know why."
"I am doing nothing of the sort."
"And now you're lying to me. Erik, why can't you just look at me?"
He brought his fist down hard on the table.
"If I look at you, I'll remember what happened, what I wanted to do to you."
She jumped as he banged on the table again; she truly hadn't expected that reaction.
"Erik…" Her voice trailed off as she crossed over to him, attempting to grab his hand. He jerked his hand away, getting up and moving away from her.
"Please don't." He said. Kerri had a sharp intake of breath, and her stomach hurt. She felt like crying.
"Erik, please look at me." She pleaded her voice barely above a whisper. She took his hand, felt the weathered palm against her own. These were the hands that had killed two men, and almost murdered her brother. She should hate him. And yet somehow she felt so safe when he held her.
She reached out, touched his right cheek. It was rough, like Asher's had been.
Asher had been a friend of Raoul's for a long time. He lived somewhere in Paris, but she rarely saw him anymore. When he was a child, he had been burned very badly. The entire left side of his body was covered in scars. He used his beautiful blonde hair as a mask. One time, when she was thirteen, she had caught a glimpse of the wreckage. She asked him about it, and his answer had stayed with her over the years.
"Child, just know that the ugliest being on the earth can be the most beautiful if you look hard enough."
She had touched his cheek and told him he wasn't ugly. His smile was one of pain.
"I wish everyone were as blind as you."
When Kerri kissed Erik, it was tear-filled and heart breaking and by far the most passionate kiss she'd ever given. She stood on her tip toes, pressing her body against his for balance. Her fingers were laced into his hair, keeping him from moving too far away.
When the couple broke, the silence between them was thick enough to cut.
"Turn around." Erik's voice was hoarse. She did so slowly, feeling the air around her crackle with sexual energy and choke her.
Slowly, he unlaced the back of her dress, her corset. His heart was pounding; he was so afraid that she would tell him to stop, that she wasn't ready. So when her hand grabbed his wrist to keep him from pulling the laces free completely, he stopped breathing.
Kerri turned around, letting go of his wrist. She wanted to see his face when he saw her naked for the first time. She pulled the strings free, felt the boning spring loose. Her back was cold as she slipped out of the dress and kicked it aside.
Erik simply marveled for a minute at her body. She was perfect. Voluptuous breasts, tiny waist, smooth and toned stomach. He felt he should say something, but had no idea what sentence could compare. She blushed under his gaze, her cheeks and chest turning pink. She bit her lip, smiling.
"Well now I feel out of place."
"We'll just have to fix that." He stripped his shirt off effortlessly, pulling her close. She slowly unbuttoned his pants, letting her hands run down his thigh, over his hardened member. His eyes fell closed, and he groaned.
"Kerri…." He started, but she kissed him softly, shaking her head.
"Don't worry about it."
He had suddenly become acutely aware of his lack of sexual prowess. Although it really wasn't that much of a problem, it would eat him alive if he couldn't give her everything she wanted.
The sex was beautiful; Kerri felt herself become whole for the first time in her life. And for the first time she thought she saw the real Erik, a man who wasn't held back by his own self doubt or anyone's opinion. She thought she saw a man she could love.
In Erik's opinion, it was over far too soon, but those few minutes had given him more fulfillment than any opera ever could.
Kerri wrapped herself in Erik's arms, laying her head on his chest and listening to his hear beat. Their sweat chilled the room significantly, even though Erik could feel himself radiate heat. He pulled the blanket around them, tucking it around Kerri's shoulders.
"Thank you." She sighed. He wondered if she meant it in regards to the sex, or the blanket. Before he had a chance to ask, her breathing had evened out, and she was asleep. Sleep soon overtook him as well, sending him into a blissfully dreamless slumber.