Smashville High School!
Chapter 3: A horrific attempt at romance... Part 1!
Disclaimer: I don't own what I don't own…
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Gold stars:
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Remember the schedule: (and also remember… it's A/B schedule… so they go to half of the classes each day)
1 period Geometry
2 period Biology
3 period English
4 period Gym
5 period World Civ.
6 period Comp. Tech.
7 period AP Commercial Art 2 honors
8 Teacher's Assistant
Oh… and in case you're stupid… this starts when they all get to school… and ends when school is over (unless extra-curricular stuff is going on)
(my SSBM ADVERTISEMENTS story was deleted! It was too offensive! Oh well… If my stories ever get deleted… being offensive to a bunch of dumbasses is how I'd want them to go)
REEL BIG FISH, BLOODHOUND GANG, ICP, PSYBOT, WHATEVER ELSE SOUNDS COOL! (some of these bands may be rated M)
Pikachu was roaming the halls, depressed. He couldn't get over the fact that his dear friend, Pichu hadn't made it to school on the first day. He tried to look down at the ground, but the composition of his neck wouldn't allow him to, this caused him to be even sadder. He started to try to cry, but the composition of his eyes just made him look even cuter, this caused him to be the saddest thing ever known to mankind, but when Pikachu realized he was unknown to mankind, he got even sadder.
Jigglypuff was, um, puffing around, when she saw Pikachu roaming the halls in a cute style looking only straight ahead. She admired the courage of the Pokemon, and loved the fact that he looked so cute. She walked over to him nervously.
"J-J-Jigg-Jiggly Jig Jig Puff Jig!" Jigglypuff said, sounding exasperated.
"Pika. PIKA PIKACHU?" Pikachu said, wondering what in gods name Jigglypuff had just said. This confusion made him even sadder.
"JIGGLY JIGGLY JIGGLYPUFF?" Jigglypuff said, asking what Pikachu had just said.
"PIKA PIKACHU?"
"JIGGLY JIGGLYPUFF?"
This continued until the bell rang.
(with the Link twins)
"DUDE! WHO ARE WE?" Link said.
"I DON'T KNOW!" the other Link said.
Just then, the two saw Zelda and Sheik walking side by side. They stared in wonderment/amazement/ugly.
"WHY ARE THEY IN TWO SEPARATE BODIES?" the two Links yelled at once.
This caused Zelda and Sheik to look over at the two similar Links. They drooled in their stupidity, then they noticed that TWO LINKS were standing in front of them. They drooled in their love…ish state.
"Why are you in two separate bodies?" Link asked Zelda and Sheik.
"Why are there two of you?" Zelda asked the Links.
"WE DON'T KNOW WHO WE ARE ANYMORE!" all four of the Hylians yelled in horror.
Just then they looked at each other with a mixture of love and stupidity.
"Lets go on a date!" They all said at once, then left for fifth period.
As the four non-heroes walked in, they saw maps upon maps. Hundreds of maps were everywhere. There was a map of Germany, a map of Japan, a map of London, a map of the school's girl's bathroom.
"Welcome to the historically inaccurate history class. I will be your teacher for as long as I can go without snapping and killing one of you. My name is Mr. Wire Frame"
With this… almost every single head in the classroom went down. Ness, Mewtwo, and Samus were the only ones to actually stay awake through this next part.
(-e BORING ALERT e-)
"So when the army of the Kaiser went down to attack the French in the battle of Ypres, they didn't expect such harsh resistance. The Russian front had been going great for the Germans, even though that was the front they expected to lose on. The Germans were surprised to have been stopped on the side that they poured almost all of their soldiers in to. The Germans resorted to a brutal technology, clowns. They unleashed this devastating material with an awesome effect. Anyone who dared get in the way of the clowns was brutally massacred, and battalions lost up to 90 of what they started with. This technology of the Germans was eventually suppressed by an even more brutal system of war from the British, modern art. The modern art that was unleashed upon these poor unsuspecting Germans repelled the attack that had been going so smoothly towards Paris. So much modern art was put in Paris, that the Germans that got too close actually killed themselves. The modern art movement in France is what eventually lead to them going crazy and sucking in all wars after WWI, but at least they defeated the Germans this time. While all of this crap was going on, Russia quit the war. They decided that the modern technologies that the western powers kept coming up with were too freaky. They gave Germany lots of land in order to stop Germans from unleashing these same, devastating clowns upon them. Then, when America entered the war, they brought with them their own secret weapon, hick-speak. This hick-speak managed to kill Germans by the thousands. Germany knew that their clown technology had been beaten. So they gave up before the Western powers could completely destroy their country. Sadly, damage had already been done, so Germany was forced to live as a clown infested modern art hick-speaking nation for years to come."
(-e END BORING ALERT e-)
After this long and boring speech, Mr. Wire Frame slapped his head into the desk, making a sickening crackle noise and waking the students up.
"Ok then, next time you will be tested on World War 0.578586" he said before falling over, knocked out cold.
As the chaos of no teacher erupted into the classroom, Pikachu and Jigglypuff could be seen screaming at each other.
"PIKA PIKA PI!"
"JIGGY JIG JIG JIGGLY!"
"Pi?"
"Jig?"
The Links and Zelda and Sheik were talking.
"So, which one of you is the princess?" Link said.
"I am" said Zelda. "I'm the girl."
"Wait… YOU'RE A GUY?" Link said pointing at Sheik.
"I don't know what happened, but I suddenly turned in to a guy" Sheik said.
"Why is there so much blood where your dick should be?" Link asked.
"And why do you have a girly voice?" Link asked.
"I… well… JUST SHUT UP! I'M GOING TO SEE A DOCTOR ABOUT THIS PROBLEM! IT BURNS!" Sheik said, crying in disgust.
"Well, all I know, is that we are officially not allowed to hang out with you anymore, Sheik, so get out before we kill you!" Links said, Sheik ran away crying, why couldn't people be more understanding of her plight. Just then she ran into a wall and fell over, dead.
The bell rang, and they went to their sixth period.
"Hello class, welcome to Computer Technology! That's what Comp Tech stands for, for you morons out there." A man standing in a black trench coat, black shirt, black pants, black underwear (the pants were very transparent, so they could tell), a black beanie, black socks, black shoes, black hair, black fingernail polish, black teeth, black splotches all over his face, and a black heart said.
"Why are you wearing all black? Are you a Goth?" Ness asked in confusion.
"NO! JUST BECAUSE I WEAR ALL BLACK DOESN'T MEAN I'M A GOTH!" The man said, laying in the fetal position after such horrid charges.
"I was just asking…" Ness started.
"SHUT UP! YOU DON'T KNOW! I JUST LIKE BLACK! I'M WAY UN-GOTHIC! I LIKE STUFF TOO! LIKE… LIKE EATING BABIES!" The man said in a polite manner.
"Dude, you eat babies? DUDE! WHAT IN THE HOLY GRANOLA BEANS IS WRONG WITH YOU?" Ness screamed.
"SHUT UP!" The man said crying and slitting his wrists in a very sexy way. He then suddenly stopped and got back to what his was doing.
"Ok… my name is Joeb the great, and I'm here to teach you all about the wonders of technology, and why we will all become slaves to them by 2054!" Joeb said. "I will now put on a movie to show you why computers are better than us!"
As Joeb turned on the TV, a picture of an obviously gothic girl, cutting herself whilst chanting some freaky voodoo popped up.
"oh… heh… wrong… umm… wrong movie!" Joeb said and put a different movie in.
"Are you sure you aren't a goth?" Ness asked.
"SHUT UP!" Joeb screamed, and then proceeded to impale himself with the movie he had just taken out of the TV. Sparks shot everywhere, one of which lit Sheik on fire. Everyone watched in awe as Sheik's already dead body melted away.
Then they sat there for the rest of the period, they had no teacher, so they had nothing to do. Since there were computers in front of them, and no supervision. The students created, mass marketed, and shoved down the throats of every child in America some porn. Just kidding, they actually DID start to try, but were immediately smitten by the fact that this story is only rated T, so they stopped.
Then… the bell rang!
YAY!
don't ask why sparks shot out of me when I impaled myself… and don't ask how I'm writing now that I impaled myself…
You see, I hate people who put themselves into their own stories, but I made up for that when I killed my own self-insert.
And yes, that bell ringing was supposed to be a cliff hanger, so now you have to say stuff like
"NOOO!O!O!O!O!O!O!O!O!O#O$OOFVOSD! I DON'T WANNA WAITEED!"
Oh yeah… and don't forget to put this story on your favorites list… just because it's getting lonely… my story wants friends… will you be it's friend?
I think I got a 3.95 or something like that this term… but whatever…
I just got a PS2... And I can't believe it… there are GOOD games… one problem though… there aren't very many good games…
don't you think this is romantic?
R&R! Read and Rubbish!