Explain Me!

By Dancing Doll

Third Explanation: The Pre-Sex Rituals!

"See how he treats me, even when I came all the way here just to help him out?" Youko Kurama sniffed, looking at Yukina with sad eyes while the koorime healed him. A vein popped on Hiei's head and he pointed an accusing finger at the fox.

"It's your damn fault! How dare you make a move on her!" He shouted, drawing his sword. Yukina gasped and, without really thinking, threw her arms around Youko's neck.

If you are wondering how that free sample of a being (due to her smallness) was able to such a wonder, Youko was sitting down. Mind you, Yukina was standing.

"Hiei-san, don't! I've just healed all of Youko-san's injuries!" She pleaded, pulling the fox to her. "Also, you two are friends and – Hiei-san? Why are you making such a horrified face?" She asked when Hiei pretty much turned to stone.

"Oh, joy..." Youko sighed, although it came out as a muffled sound to everyone else's ears, since his face was buried between Yukina's...Upper gifts.

"YOU BASTARD!" Hiei screamed in a high-pitched voice, grabbing Youko's tail and pulling at it with all his might. Youko's eyes widened when he stopped feeling that heavenly softness anymore and his hands immediately searched for Yukina.

"YUKINA!"

"YOUKO-SAN!" Yukina screamed, obviously seeing the action as a plea for help and not a reflex of a perverted mind beyond salvation.

"LET GO OF HER!"

"DON'T LET GO OF ME!"

"LET GO OF HIS TAIL!"

Needless to say, the 'let/don't let/let go' went on for quite a while until Hiei finally got it that his sister wouldn't release Youko until he stopped pulling at that flea-filled tail. "Fine!" He shouted, crossing his arms before his chest "But let go of him!"

"All right..." She said, releasing her hold on Youko. "Now, can you tell me what was all this about?" Yukina asked. Youko missed it, though, since he had passed out from J-O-Y!

"Can I kill him now?" Hiei asked, unsheathing his sword. Yukina sweat-dropped.

"No."

Explain!

"..."

"I'm soooo sorry."

"..."

"I really didn't mean it...He just gets out of hand sometimes..."

"..."

"Won't you stop ignoring me?"

"..."

"Fine! Be that way!" Kurama, the redhead, shrugged, annoyed at Hiei's antics. "I mean, if you're so angry at me, why are still here at my house? Shouldn't you be devising a way to castrate me or something?"

Hiei looked sourly at Kurama, "I wanted to...But then you won't help me answering Yukina's questions..."

Kurama sweat-dropped, "Is the anguish so great you even lost the strength to punish me?"

"...Yes..." Hiei said, looking down at his lap. Kurama was about to comfort him when he heard something that made him turn blue. A sob.

"H-Hiei?"

"..."

A sniff.

"...! Hiei!"

A sob, sniff, sniff, sob, sob, sob, sniff, sob, sniff, sob, sob, sniff, sniff, sob...

Readers: WE'VE GOT IT ALREADY!

D.D.: Oh, right.

"HIEI!" Kurama shouted, ignoring the voices coming from nowhere. Probably just another pack of angry readers...Hiei turned to look at him, eyes swollen and two Mississippis running down his cheeks.

"I'M SOOOOOOOOOOOO FRUSTRATED, KURA-CHAN!"

Then, the background turned all sparkly with sakura's flowers blossoming as Hiei started to run to him, his tears turning to stone before hitting the floor. "KURAAAAA-CHAAAAAN!"

Yes, people of Earth, Apocalypse is finally upon our heads!

"LIKE HELL YOU'RE HUGGING ME!" Kurama screamed, images of horror filling his mind as he imagined their Yaoi-fandom's reaction to this particular scene. A nearby vase broke and the plant's roots immediately grabbed Hiei's feet and pulled him upside-down. "PUT YOURSELF TOGETHER, DUDE! BE MACHO!"

"I'm macho...!" Hiei sobbed, hugging his hands before his heart, "...But this situation is killing me!" Then, he saw the background, "Ooooh, sparkly-sparkly!"

"Oh...My..." Kurama mumbled, before determination was born on him. He couldn't let his friend like that! No! His reputation would be tarnished as well if this went on! So, with resolute steps, the fox gallantly marched to the phone and dialed Genkai's number.

"Yukina? Would it be too much trouble if I asked you to come here?"

Explain!

Yukina listened with interest as Hiei's begging went on and on until Kurama agreed to do something by himself. She was able to catch a glimpse of Hiei, Celebration-Mode, before Kurama closed the door of his bedroom behind him and sat by her side on his bed.

"Yukina, I asked you to come here because Hiei forgot to explain you something very important when you asked him how humans reproduced..."

"Yes!" Yukina nodded, "He forgot to tell me what a penis looks like!"

"N-no..." Kurama sweat-dropped, "Well, yes, but I didn't mean that..."

"K-Kurama-san!" She interrupted, "Can't you tell me that first? It's just I really want to know!" Yukina insisted and Kurama noticed he would have to if he wanted her to pay attention.

Ooooh, show her, Kurama-san! Youko shouted happily, going mad at Yukina's respectful treatment to them; Show her so we can make her scratch our back so hard we bleed!

"Sure." He said, getting up and grabbing his Biology book. Flipping through the pages, he showed her one of those oh-so-mysterious pictures.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, YOU FRIGD BASTARD! SHOW HER THE REAL THING!

Yukina stared at it for a long time before announcing in a nervous voice, "It looks gross! Do women really let men insert that into them?"

AAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Now she's disgusted!

Kurama grinned, his macho-ness dawning on him, "Yukina, it's not the look of the wand that matters, but rather the magic it does!"

...Have you been reading Harry Potter again, Shuuichi?

"It can do magic!" She gasped, "Not fair! Ours can't!"

Uhuhuhu! Just try flexing your walls while we're in and you'll see the magic happen, Yuki-chan!

"Oh, it can, all right..." Kurama chuckled darkly before snapping back to reality, "I mean, figuratively speaking...!"

Now, show her the real thing!

"Oh, okay..." She smiled, handing him the book back. Kurama put it away before returning to his previous spot.

Now! Now! Do it now that Hiei's too grateful to care!

"So, can I explain you what he forgot to tell you?"

No! She'll stop being so naïve!

"Yes!" Yukina nodded happily, "I want to know more! Sex is so mysterious!

Oh, my dear Yuki-chan...What I wouldn't do to uncover those mysteries with you! Shuuichi, take a sniff at her clothes to see if there's any scent of the Fruit of Past left, so we can revert! NO! Scratch that; take a sniff at her-

Kurama sweat-dropped and blushed madly, clearing his throat and mind "More than that, Yukina, sex is something very, very intimate. It's something you do with the person you fully love-"

That's a damn lie! Youko shouted, forgetting his previous ideas, I've had plenty of sex while I lived in Makai, and I didn't love any of those women!

"-Trust-"

Don't trust him, Yukina! He's a liar! LIAR!

"-and, sometimes, want to spend the rest of your life with."

WAAAAAAAAAAAH! I'LL DIE FROM ALL THE FILTHY LIES YOU'RE TELLING HER!

"Love? But we can't do it with, say, our mothers, fathers and siblings, right?"

"No." Kurama nodded, glad she didn't misunderstand that part. Oh, what a trip down the incest road they would have if she had...He cringed at the mere thought of it. "Also, before sex there's a long way to go...You have to befriend the person, ask her or him out...You know those things Keiko and Yusuke did before marrying?"

"That stuff?"

"Yeah."

"Oh, I understand it now..." Yukina said, before a delicate frown appeared on her forehead, "So, Kurama-san, would you say it's inappropriate to have sex before all these things?"

"Well, some people pay other for sexual favors, but that's not your case. To have sex with you, one surely would have to do all these things very strictly, or else they would be taking advantage of you. If they don't, feel free to hit them." He said, looking fondly at the koorime.

"I see..." Yukina whispered, her bags shadowing her eyes. Kurama stared at her for a moment before his eyes widened when a sudden coldness surrounded his feet and hands.

"Shit!" He cursed, seeing the bonds of ice Yukina had created. Gasping, he turned to see her hand speeding towards his face, a box glove made of ice covering it.

...What a right jab...

The End

…

For now…

D.D.: Somehow, this one-shot became a three-shot...Up till now, because I'm so gonna keep writing! That, of course, if I get enough r-e-v-i-e-w-s...Also, I ended up turning this into a slight Yuki/Kura...I must resist this habit, or how shall I pair him with Maya on my next fic! Speaking of fics, all of you who are reading Rhythm, the new chap is up!