Smashville High School!
Chapter 7: New students! (pt. 1)
Disclaimer: I don't own anything with an SSB in front of it… or Nintendo… or anything like that…
Reviews: THEY STOLE MY SEXY REVIEW PAGE THINGAMABOB!
Gold stars:
If you reviewed: 4
If you liked it: 5
If you want me to die: 88
If you know the secret to life: 200 trazillion billion quadrillion… illion… gold stars for the answer…
umm… I got like… seven letters in the mail filled with vomit… umm… that's creepy… how do you people know where I live? AM I GOING TO DIE?
In all seriousnesslesstousgess… I have had so much school recently… that coupled with the fact that my friends expect ME of all people to get a life makes fanfiction really hard…
And I think I'm going to get a B+ in art… NOOOOO!
Remember the schedule: (and also remember… it's A/B schedule… so they go to half of the classes each day)
1 period Geometry
2 period Biology
3 period English
4 period Gym
5 period World Civ.
6 period Comp. Tech.
7 period AP Commercial Art 2 honors
8 Teacher's Assistant
REEL BIG FISH PWNS! GO BUY ONE OF THEIR CD'S RIGHT NOW YOU N00BZ!
Popo walked along the hall, he still hadn't cleaned off that bloodstain that Nana had left on his parka back in the first chapter. No one ever talked to him so he never really even noticed. The bell rang, but this was just some random bell that had no importance whatsoever. Then another bell rang. This bell was unimportant too. Everyone got confused and started pulling each other's hair out.
"HA! I don't even have hair!" Captain Falcon said bragging to all of his friends, dead rock-stars from the 1730s.
"Were there even any rock-stars around in the 1730s?" Ness asked intuitively.
"If you hadn't have asked intuitively then I would have told you the answer to that question!" Captain Falcon said in a lecturing tone that smelt of poo.
"EWW!" Ness said running away to tell all of his friends, the 32 voices in his head (well what do you think is in that huge head of his?).
After all these weird events, Popo went to his World Civ. Class on time. The teacher was so amazed/surprised by this that he gave Popo an 'S' instead of the regular 'UN'. Popo then jumped into the air with joy and fell over, breaking several bones. Not his bones, but they were still bones. Some random little animal was going to feel that later on.
The important bell rang and everyone came to class exactly 5 seconds late. Then Mr. Wire Frame handed out a test about World War 0.578586, put on a T rated outfit, and went in to the closet.
"How T rated of him," Ness said.
"YOU FAILED THE TEST!" Mr. Wire Frame yelled jumping out of the closet and pointing at Ness.
"What did I do?" Ness asked in confusion.
"YOU ARE JUST THAT PATHETIC!" The teacher said and took Ness's test away, and then he went back into the closet.
Everyone then started on the test. It read:
What is 2 plus the square root of your sister?
Why did Germany decide to fart on the Irish?
When did Britain care about France and Why?
What was Nepal doing at the time?
What the crap is Nepal anyway?
Who cares about Nepal?
When did America invent Hick-Speak?
Why did America join the war?
Why is it 0.578586 and not 0.578587?
Who stole my tampons?
Does anyone have any photos of girl students in the bathroom?
Can I see them?
Is this M rated or T rated?
What is the political stance of clowns?
Who cares about Europe anyway?
That was it. Everyone finished and Mr. Wire Frame took the tests. Everyone missed every question, except Mewtwo, that nerd. Then Mr. Wire Frame began his lecture.
"So in WW 0.7 stuff happened and people died. Your homework will be to read in the book chapters 12 through 56. This will be due next time. You also have to type a ninety-nine pound essay in paper, that's ninety-nine POUNDS, not pages. This is due next time too. And while we're at it you have to answer every possible question you can find in the book. And please remember to use the bathroom, especially you girls." Mr. Wire Frame said in a boring tone as all the kids except Ness and Mewtwo fell asleep.
The bell rang, but no one heard the bell ring because Mr. Wire Frame blocked it with a sickening crackling noise that was caused when he slapped his head into the corner of his desk and then fell to the ground unconscious.
"Umm… should we leave?" Ness asked.
"NERD!" Roy yelled pointing at Ness. Everyone then joined in the fun of poking at Ness with various blunt objects. Ness cried.
They all left class in their attempt to be rebellious. The problem was that class was already out, so in their attempt at rebellion they followed the rules.
The bell rang and they went to class. Woo…
As they walked into their Comp Tech class they noticed that something was wrong. Something just didn't smell right. It smelled like various baby lotions/oils/body parts had been rubbed on a sandwich and was now being eaten.
"Umm… what kind of sick crap is this?" Ness asked in horror.
The teacher poked his head up from under the desk. When he realized he had been spotted he pulled out a shotgun and blew Marth's face off. Marth was feeling fine; after all, it was just his face that had been blown off.
"NOOOOO! Marth! Can you hear me man?" Roy asked in a dramatic way that made everyone start to cry.
Marth tried to talk to Roy about how he was feeling fine. Marth tried to ask Roy how this would affect his chance with the ladies. Marth tried to say this, but without a face he couldn't.
As everyone watched Marth with sadness, a new figure appeared out of nowhere. His name was Pit. Everyone knew this person by name thanks to the amazing powers of gossip. Thanks to gossip they also knew that he had seventy-four nipples and a hernia. Despite this fact, everyone still loved Pit.
"WE LOVE YOU PIT!" Everyone screamed and started running towards Pit screaming like fangirls. Roy dropped Marth and ran towards Pit, sadly Marth's skull was fractured because of this and he died at the ripe old age of 16.
"How ripe and old" said the teacher that no one seemed to even care about.
So Pit was accepted into the mainstream of Smashville High School. Then suddenly everyone heard a fart as Wario walked into the room.
Peach's dead corpse fell in love with Wario and they had several children. All of this happened in about four seconds. The children were then adopted by a traveling circus until they ran out of food and used the babies as a secondary food supply. Wario was so proud of his children's accomplishments.
So Wario was accepted into some secondary stream of Smashville High School.
As everyone sat down and prepared to actually do something with computers a noise was heard. It was just someone being brutally beaten in the face with a hatchet though, so no one worried. Just then Meta Knight walked in dramatically.
"Kirby?" Meta Knight said looking around for his adversary. "Hey… HE'S DEAD! YAYZORZ!" Meta Knight screamed as he had finally gotten revenge… kind of… he then decided to become a normal person. He was completely dedicated to being normal. He wanted normality in his life. So he tried normalness and normality. Normally this would be strange, so he immediately stopped trying. So now he was trying to be normal without trying because that's not normal. He felt like everything made sense.
So Meta Knight was accepted into wherever normal people are accepted.
As people prepared to do their work another noise was heard. Zero Suit Samus stood at the door with a grin. She stopped grinning. Then her face twitched a little. She had shifty eyes as her nose did a belly dance. She began to grin again… wait… OH she's not grinning at all, that's a look of disgust. Now she's rolling her eyes just a little bit. She's starting to look relaxed. It seems there's a bit of nervousness showing through though. There she goes, flashing a cheesy, nervous grin. And her eyes seem to be blank, looking at nothing in particular. This all as she looked with a smile of accretion… whatever that is…
Samus walked up to the twitching Zero Suit Samus (who we will call "Fluffy" from now on to make life easier).
"YOU ARE A SLUT BECAUSE WE CAN TELL THAT YOU HAVE BOOBS!" Samus yelled.
"THIS IS A T RATED STORY NOOB!" Fluffy replied.
"I THINK YOU SHOULD BE MORE MASCULINE!" Samus screamed.
"I'M A GIRL NOOB!" Fluffy responded.
"WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO DO HOUSEWORK YOU STEREOTYPICAL WOMAN?" Samus bellowed.
"I WANT AN EDUCATION!" Fluffy… umm… said in response…
"I LIKE YELLING AT YOU!" Samus hollered.
"I CAN'T COME UP WITH ANY MORE SYNONYMS FOR REPLY TO USE!" Fluffy said with a synonym to reply.
So Fluffy was accepted into the hated peoples club (which meets once every Tuesday).
Just as they were about to do some ACTUAL work they all ended up being interrupted by screams. Snake ran into the room with a bomb strapped to his chest, he pulled a string. There was a pause. Then…
(In some random news station)
"Hello, I'm some random news anchor, breaking news today as a suicide bombing took place in a local high school. One person was injured, but no one was killed. Back to your locally scheduled stuff." Said the random news anchor.
(Back to the school)
Snake lay on the floor with smoke rising from his body as everyone pointed and laughed. Then Snake died of unrelated causes.
"YAYZERZIEZ!" Said the still mysterious teacher.
YAY!
This was fun… it brought be out of my state of feeling like shit. So sorry if there's a section in there that sounds like I wasn't really trying…
I like this overall though… and if you don't I just might sneak into your house soon and vomit all over in your cereal bowl…
My friends and me found an awesome 80s (although I hate the 80s and it's overrated…ness… this is truly awesome) video camera recorder thing… it's HUGE! And it's worse at making movies than a cell phone.
The point I'm trying to make is that we have been running around making crappy yet funny movies… yesterday we invaded Wal-Mart until they swarmed us and forced us to turn the camera off…
Yeah… that's fun stuff…
Wow…
Actually… I'm suddenly really happy… now if they'd just start putting something good on newgrounds again life would be perfect… oh well…
R&ECKBRZ… read and Eat Crappy Koala Bears Really Zoon!
(zoon is a real word… I don't know what it means though as I have no thesaurus anymore)