Disclaimer: I don't own them
A/N: For those of you who don't know who Zhao Yan is, he's the emperor's advisor just before Liu Xie moved from Luo Yang to Xu Chang, one of Cao Cao's men told him that Zhao Yan was counseling with the emperor and it oddly drove Cao Cao mad and killed him. Half of the emperor's own advisors were either removed during the moving progress or assassinated. The Han emperor was going to recover it's power until Cao Cao had a selfish problem after Lu Bu stole Yan and the death of his father Cao Song. Cao Cao's personality had a disorder with his own motivation aside from recovering the Han.
Cao Cao: But, I'm still not truly evil.
Everyone: Yeah right, so why absence the Emperor even keeping the Han alive until your son dethrone it?
Cao Cao: err….
The woman appears at the door alone is Yue Ying. She went towards where everyone is debating their personality problems from the games and history.
"So only Zhuge Liang's wife is here. Where's your husband?" Cao Cao asked.
"Busy, also he wants me to tell Zhao Yun that he's very sorry for the failure of the first northern campaign," Yue Ying said.
"But, why don't he just come out and talk it over with us on the whole Ma Su incident?" Zhang He sighed.
"Oh, you're feeling embarrassed of your victory at Jie Ting, right?" Sun Ce asked.
"It looked …too easy, perhaps I'm expecting a better challenge. Sima Yi really had nothing to do with the strategies of taking Jie Ting. It was all my doing and recovering Tian Shui too. I wonder why Koei and Wu Omega Force made me such a dumb fag poor man's Vega," Zhang He groaned.
"Koei….Omega Force…idiots…" Wei Yan did the caves speak once more.
"You don't have to talk like that in front of us, Wei Yan," Zhao Yun shrugged.
"I know, but the best thing about it is my DW5 voice. Speaking like this makes me a true badass," Wei Yan grinned.
"Heh…" Cao Cao thought about opportunities of hiring Wei Yan.
"So, Yue Ying, you looked too beautiful in the games, but can you explain us about what you truly look in history? All the rumors told that you were ugly," Liu Bei questioned.
"Oh, those rumors, well…if you understand a woman's affection of her husband's reputation, I don't want people thinking Zhuge Liang married a whore," Yue Ying laughed.
"Oh really, need I tell you about your spotlight on the U.R.C Doujins? You looked hot for a geek woman," Sun Ce said.
"Holy…you must tell me where to find that doujin!" Cao Cao grabbed Sun Ce shaking him to demand an answer.
"Ok ok, sheehs, take it easy old man," Sun Ce laughed, then smirked and said, "But, first, promise me you stop spying on my wife? Why don't you like me check out your wife?"
"Fine, but she's becoming an ambitious old hag yet beautiful, but she keeps on focusing governing trade while I'm working on things. I got so many women, but what I wanted the most is the girls you took away from me. I'm desended to marry the Qiaos," Cao Cao said.
"I'm grieve to tell you that Qiao Xuan didn't mention me and Yu about that before we wed them. Besides you're way too old to be with them," Sun Ce taunted.
"Why you brat! You're even more irritating than your father," Cao Cao muttered.
"You truly are a pervert…" Liu Bei said.
"Eh, you have plenty of wives too. Let me count, Sun Shang Xiang…" Cao Cao was cut before Zhao Yun explained.
"Shang Xiang left Xuande, they never had sex last I checked from the records," Zhao Yun said.
"LOL, why would Sis have sex with a crybaby?" Sun Cei laughed so hard as with Zhang Liao and Wei Yan.
"That is terribly mean, Shang Xiang didn't care about Liu Bei's crybaby attitude, besides she really likes him as a nice person," Yue Ying said.
"Oh man, a SSXxLB supporter, LOL," Sun Ce continued.
"Hm, Liu Bei also have Lady Mi, Lady Gan, Lady Wu who is Wu Yi's sister," Cao Cao added.
"Err, ok Cao Cao, I admit I'm perverted too with many women," Liu Bei sighed.
"Instead of being portrayed as, Liu Bei the Virtue and Cao Cao the Chaos, you both fit in the category as perverted older men," Zhao Yun said.
"LOL" everyone except Liu Bei and Cao Cao feeling even more embarrassed with their personalities and being the most overrated characters in three kingdoms.
The doorbell ring and this time Yue Ying answer the door. In comes, Gan Ning, Ling Tong, Ma Chao, Lu Bu, Diao Chan, and Xu Zhu.
"Wow, the number of visitors exceed more than seven," Cao Cao amazed.
"Is he welcomed?" Ma Chao snarled at Zhao Yun.
"Yes…" Zhao Yun replied.
"Hmph" Lu Bu didn't care of his greatest adviser appearance as Diao Chan is holding his arms on hers.
"Two brainless Superman wannabes whom I own them both," Cao Cao clapped his hands welcoming them.
"Historically, we're not incredibly stupid," Ma Chao and Lu Bu said unison.
"This is going to be interesting," Wei Yan chuckled.
"I'm not stupid either and I'm not a fatass bum. Cao Cao I want you as my lawyer to suit Koei!" Xu Zhu urged.
"Patience, Zhu. It'll be arrange," Cao Cao said.
"Ma Chao, Lu Bu, and Xu Zhu are still respected as amazing warriors with unquestionable strength," Yue Ying said.
"Strong they are, but they're capable of being romantic," Diao Chan said.
"Oh wait, don't tell me that Xu Zhu is romantic," Gan Ning raised his eyebrow.
"If you're too lazy to read my SGZ bio, I have a wife and a kid who beat the crap out of two Shu generals from Jiang Wei's persistent campaigns so that makes me a family man next to Xiahou Yuan," Xu Zhu sighed.
"Satisfied, pirate?" Ling Tong started.
"Whatever…" Gan Ning sat down next to Zhao Yun.
"Dian Wei also had a son…so you can take the Mr. Clean/Terminator personality out of the water. He is also a passionate buff man," Cao Cao said.
"So, Cao Cao's bodyguards are truly educated," Zhang He said.
"I'm their teacher," Cao Cao explained.
"Cao Cao has weird friends who think they can equal me in combat," Lu Bu laughed.
"Stupid beast, I have yet to find out where you learn your jack," Cao Cao grumbled.
"You mean with her," Lu Bu smiled and point at Diao Chan.
"….she didn't exist in history…" Cao Cao glared in annoyance.
"But, still she's popular on the novel. Besides I like her better than my real wife Lady Hou," Lu Bu said.
"Is that the same woman who made you lose and betrayed at Xia Pi?" Sun Ce asked.
"Yep, Lu Ling Qi's mom, Hou Cheng's daughter. That damned Hou Cheng…" Lu Bu grumbled.
"Hahaha, you should learn to keep your friends close and your enemies closer, Feng Xian, if you want to prove you're my equal," Cao Cao said.
"Betrayed by those close to you. I wonder if Diao Chan will betray you also if the opportunity happens?" Liu Bei thought.
"So, shall I go make you all some tea?" Yue Ying asked.
"Sure, I will like to try your famous tea making," Zhang He said.
"Alright, but Diao Chan, will you accompany with me in the kitchen?" Yue Ying asked.
"Perhaps I should get some time knowing more about you, " The two ladies went their way as the guys exchange rivalry looks.
"So…..Gan Ning, enjoying yourself as the Chinese Rambo?" Sun Ce looked at Ning in mischief.
"Why? What's wrong with my personality? I know historically I'm not a cheesy bare-chested stud, but I like what Koei made me and I'm the most popular general in the game next to Lu Bu," Gan Ning winked.
"Oh boy…he rather be an idiot than being a good tactian in all three types of warfare and an admiral," Ling Tong sighed. "The more overrated he'll become, the more I'm wondering why my father deserves to get beaten by him."
"Chill, he probably didn't care anymore since he isn't strong enough to avoid an honorable death," Gan Ning said.
"Death…I envy…." Wei Yan phrased.
"Oh, see Wei Yan likes death," Gan Ning chuckled.
"It's the feel of the battle," Wei Yan smirked.
"Wei Yan, how did you get that awesome weapon?" Cao Cao asked.
"From the officer of Cao Zhen, Wang Shuang. He wasn't worth my time so I beat the hell out of him. That's one of the greatest things I did," Wei Yan proudly claimed.
"Wang Shuang…why the hell did Cao Zhen employ someone like him to challenge you?" Cao Cao smacks his head.
"Well, during the northern campaign, Cao Cao, your descendants been employing idiots aside from Guo Huai, Hao Zhao, Dai Ling, Liang Xiang, Sun Li, Han De whom I slained him and his sons not even worth my time and the infamous nephew of yours Xiahou Mao," Zhao Yun isn't finished with the list of Wei officers deployed to Northern Campaign.
"Damn..d…damn and I tried so hard to keep the council system to the people I like and people I don't like!" Cao Cao shouted.
"What's wrong, Meng De? Felt like your son isn't doing as much of a good job with your legacy as my idiotic son?" Liu Bei taunted.
"Unlike Cao Pi, he does have a sense of listening in governing affairs, but damn him for putting people like Sima Yi, Hua Xin, Wang Lang, Chen Qun, Wang Shuang, Han De, Xiahou Mao in high ranks…" Cao Cao complained.
"At least, Sima Yi gets praise and credit, but of course, he's not that loyalty with you, I know how you feel about him as a threat to your future," Liu Bei said.
"I want nothing of my ambitions with the Jin Empire! That is understood able," Cao Cao demanded.
"Well, I died before that happen so I don't care about Jin Dynasty and the fall of Shu," Zhao Yun said.
"Well…I really don't know what to say. I died before I can see Kong Ming's mistakes of the Northern Campaign. But, my son, he's no son of mine anymore at least, he broken my promise and I failed to achieve what Lady Mi wanted me to do for Shan," Liu Bei sighed.
"At least, Zhuge Liang has weaknesses," Cao Cao coughed.
"Want me to give you more evidence of his failures, Cao Cao? Including my sad death at the hands of the ambush, I really tried to reason Sima Yi, but he did made me go there anyway when I knew it as an ambush!" Zhang He said.
"Well, Kong Ming died after your death, so your death was avenged," Wei Yan said. "But, my death…."
"What about my death?" Ma Chao turns in grief.
"I know Mengqi, Zhuge Liang should have send you to the southern campaign and I should be the one to guard Han Zhong," Zhao Yun said.
"Damn, all I want is the fight Wei now, not waste time with some pointless rebellion that can't even cooperate with Liu Shan," Ma Chao urged.
"Meng Huo was no big deal, it was Yong Kai we're after," Wei Yan said.
"So, Yong Kai rebelled after my death, thanks for the small note now I'm really sad how my goal to restore the han went overboard," Liu Bei said.
"And my ambitions alienated by Sima Yi's and Cao Pi's own ambitions," Cao Cao said.
"How the three kingdoms ended is all sad and regrettable," Zhang He said.
"Do I look good with my death?" Gan Ning asked.
"Oh Yi Ling? Well it's a disaster. Your death has a meaning to Sun Quan's price of insecure of his ambitions and betraying me," Liu Bei said. "Oh and about Shamoke bull eye you, I'm sorry Gan Ning. I didn't want you dead, but I want to obtain you in my forces."
"Ha, at least, Gan Ning isn't that tough," Ling Tong smirked.
"Same said of Lu Bu," Cao Cao added.
"Keep talking, King Obvious," Lu Bu glared. "At least, I brought you all the death of Dong Zhuo and you're still not happy about the good deed I've done by the order of the emperor himself?"
"Wait, the Emperor ordered you to kill him?" Liu Bei gasped.
"Are you really that clueless or overlook me as a dumbass? Before I even agreed with Wang Yun, I needed the Emperor's permission to assassinate that pig. But, if it wasn't for Li Jue's whining, the Capital and the Emperor would still be safe next to me," Lu Bu said.
"Hmph, keep your alliegence with the Emperor, I don't care about Dong Zhou, but you still dared me by stealing a part of Yan zhou behind my back. You seal your fate there and I'm your death!" Cao Cao wrathfully stare at Lu Bu.
"It's your own fault, you were fighting for revenge by a corrupted officer who escaped before he even returned to Tao Qiao. By the way, the lack of security is another matter I discovered and thanks to Chen Gong and Zhang Miao's defection, I beat you, not once, but twice you overrated scum. I'm still Lu Bu, and not even some hometown jackass can understand my intelliegence," Lu Bu said.
"There you go again with that "I'm Lu Bu" crap…" Cao Cao wave his hand.
"It…it .it ..Lu Bu, Lu Bu has come to destroy us!" Sun Ce pretend.
"I'm not afraid of him…" Zhao Yun said.
"You know, it embarrass me that Koei made me have to save you from Lu Bu…that's just not right on your DW 5 Masou mode," Liu Bei said.
"I know," Zhao Yun really doesn't mind anymore since Koei is using him as a money bank to make him more and more unimportant even trying to put him as poster boy.
"And what is it with you, Ma Chao? Ranting about justice when historically you massacre a village from your anger of being betrayed by Han Shui," Cao Cao looked at another person he can't stand more than Lu Bu.
"….." Ma Chao didn't reply.
"Is it true that Ma Chao massacre a village?" Ling Tong asked.
"Xu Zhu and Zhang He are my witnesses of Ma Chao's indestructible rage of revenge after losing at Tong Gate and loss in a duel with my Tiger Escort Captain Xu Zhu," Cao Cao coughed.
"Ahem," Both Xu Zhu and Zhang He started.
"……" Ma Chao clutches his fist as much as he wants to punch the living day lights out of the Hero of Chaos; he knows he has some bad deeds of his own.
Doorbell chime and Gan Ning answers the door. Sun Shang Xiang shows up with Zhou Tai, Cao Ren, Guan Yu, Lu Meng, Lu Xun, Guan Ping, Xing Cai, and Pang De.
"More…people…" Wei Yan said. More people it is, but that will be told on the next chapter.
To be continued..