Smashville High School!
Chapter 9: Musical Angst
Disclaimer: I don't own the gun that killed that little girl and I don't have anything to do with it! STOP ASKING ME QUESTIONS!
Reviews: Zomg thanx
Gold stars:
If you reviewed: 5
If you liked it: 2
If you can get me to stop writing forever and ever: 373
If you can't drive: -26 because I can (technically) and I want to make you feel bad…
Remember the schedule: (and also remember… it's A/B schedule… so they go to half of the classes each day)
1 period Geometry
2 period Biology
3 period English
4 period Gym
5 period World Civ.
6 period Comp. Tech.
7 period AP Commercial Art 2 honors
8 Teacher's Assistant
I am what I am and I am going to am you yes I am…
WTF did I say? If you guess it right I'll pay your way through college!
REEL BIG FISH! RANDOM MUSIC THAT I DOWNLOAD OFF OF LIMEWIRE! WHATEVER ELSE!
Pit and Roy were walking down the hallway looking down at random junctions in their sadness. They were so unloved and hated and stuff. Poor Pit had only had several thousand worshipers so far. The pain was unbearable. Roy understood this as he had once been forced to go through life without all his dramatic pauses being noticed. Pit and Roy suddenly stopped to make a dramatic pause and stare up at the ceiling.
(Singing) "Why does life have to be so hard? Why can't I have my own collection cards? Who came up with the idea of not worshipping MEEEE? I feel so shitty." Pit said waiving his arms around in an attempt to be dramatic. He just ended up looking creepy. Now he hated life.
(Singing) "I know how it feels to have so little!" Roy said as he was checking his wallet for the $40 that his dad had given him for his daily allowance. "The hearts some people have are so brittle! But if we work together then some day it might get better, but for now all we can do is sit and cry. No one will get our message, why?"
As the two were sitting there, dancing around crying about their lack of a decent mansion (they only had 50 million dollar ones), Link walked up to them.
(Singing) "Have any of you bothered to remember me? My fans have all apparently abandoned. Instead of all the millions of fan mails that I could see, it's been reduced to thousands and I cry!" Link said looking at the camera in a way that looked hot. All the fangirls screamed. Link misinterpreted this as hate. And why the crap was there a camera in this story?
(Singing) "We know how you feel, we go through crap every day. Sometimes people wont bend over backwards to all we say! To make up for all the pain you're going through. I guess we'll have to buy a brand new car for you!" Roy and Pit sing and immediately a new car appeared in front of Link.
(Singing) "I HATE IT! I HATE YOU! YOU'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND! THIS NEW CART LOOKS ONLY TO BE WORTH ONE HUNDRED GRAND!" Link shouted so loud that they never heard the bell for first period and never went there.
At first period Crazy Hand pulled out a hammer and started beating Ness with it because Ness couldn't remember the name of the student that wore a cape and had a mask and sword and was normal and tried to kill Kirby in the games.
"HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW? HE'S A NEW STUDENT!" Ness screamed but was then beat even harder by Crazy Hand because he had said something in a non-song format.
(Singing) "Yay! I feel so normal! No one knows my name and no one treats me formal! Everything is going as I planned. Now if I only had a little sand…" Meta Knight said referring to a fetish of his. He then realized that that wouldn't be normal so he only dreamed about sand… poor guy…
"That hammer that Crazy Hand is beating you with is from my black market!" Mewtwo said in a 'zomg guess what' kind of way.
"When did you ever own a black market? In what way do you and the black market go together?" Ness asked before getting beaten twice as hard by Crazy Hand for not mentioning Mewtwo's name in the discussion. Ness was then knocked out hot. Not knocked out cold. He was knocked out hot. It was so hot that when Mewtwo went to check if Ness was OK his hand melted off. He screamed and then bought a new one from his black market.
(Singing) "I really don't know what me and a black market have in common. Maybe Ness had a point and I feel like eating Ramen." Mewtwo said flailing his tail around in a Broadway style.
The whole class went like this until Roy and Pit and Link walked into the room.
(Singing) "I see Ness laying there bloody, and I think about my own pain. It's twice as bad but Ness has to complain, why does Ness always do stuff in vain?" Roy asked as Pit and Link nodded in agreement and looked at the bloody Ness in anger. What right did he ever have to complain?
The bell rang to end first period and Crazy Hand took a severed foot in lawful marriage. They were soon divorced over the issue of illegal immigration though.
"WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME MEXICO?" Crazy Hand screamed trying to look up but failing due to the fact that he's a hand.
"I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUNNY, YO!" Mexico responded like a gangsta.
In Biology, Ms. Wire Frame was trying to set up a chemical lab. She messed up and got acid all over her wires, she screamed falling over in pain when two chemicals mixed and the whole set exploded. Everyone sat there in silence before realizing that they didn't have a teacher in this class anymore! YAY! FREE DAY!
(Singing) "My pain is still so great. My Princess is hot and she has a castle but I still have reasons to hate!" Link said holding his hands up to show his sadness. He ended up slapping Ness in the attempt and Ness was knocked out cold this time. So cold that when Mewtwo went to check on him his hand was frozen off and he had to get a new hand from his black market.
(Singing) "HA! You slapped the EMO prick that wont stop complaining! I wish he'd just shut up, my face is worth framing." Pit said first laughing at Ness, then trying to find a way to make the music rhyme.
Zelda walked up to Link and hugged him with a tear in her eye.
(Singing) "Oh Link, there's a tear in my eye… the type of tear that rips and I think I might die… so…" Zelda tried to continue but the tear in her eye caused an infection to kill her. Link cried, then killed himself. Zelda woke up from death and would have done a Juliet kind of dramatic sorrow scene but couldn't because she was a zombie. She started munching on Link's brain.
The bell for second period to end started, and then the bell for third period came… yeah… Everyone went to English class as Zelda killed Luigi and ate his brain.
"Sonic! Zelda just killed Luigi!" Ness said raising his hand as Zelda moaned and did whatever else zombies do.
(Singing) "Nobody cares!" Sonic yelled. "The only thing that matters is that Shakespeare is no longer alive! Never try original stuff, old crap is what for you should strive! Whilst on thy yonder 'tis thee shall be all thee can say! You better start doing all of that crap today! Oh… and yeah… Luigi's unimportant too…" Sonic screamed.
Zelda stood up and walked towards Sonic with her hands outstretched. She missed and slapped into a Shakespeare poster.
"IT'S GO TIME!" Sonic screamed and pulled out two huge FT-27X magnums and immediately wondered what the hell that meant. He then remembered that Zelda had desecrated his idle and blew Zelda's face onto Roy's pants.
(Singing) "EWW! How do you expect me to wash this? These were my thousand dollar jeans! To get another pair I'd have to take five minutes. You always ruin what I do it seems!" Roy sang in sorrow as Ness shook his head. I'm not saying Ness shook Ness's head… I'm saying Ness shook Roy's head. This pissed Roy off. Roy gave Ness an evil glare and just stood there dramatically. Then Roy went to slice Ness in half, but froze in order to make more drama. This gave Ness the time to go to the mall, buy some Ice cream, walk home, ask his mom if they could have pizza for dinner tonight, argue with her about it for several minutes, walk back to the school, buy a soda from the vending machine, argue with Mewtwo about the whole 'black market' thing, mourn over the loss of innocence, walk back, and then step out of the way. Roy missed. Zelda had died of aging in this time.
In all this time third period ended and everyone went to fourth period as Roy and Pit glared at Ness in an angry and dramatic style.
At fourth period Giga Bowser was sitting there with whips and chains grinning. He was next to a pile of broken glass.
(Singing) "Hello class! You all have to play my favourite game in the world. With this glass, and some whips and chains you'll beat each other until someone's darkest secret is unfurled. Roy and Pit will be the referees!" Giga Bowser said looking at Ness in an 'I can't wait to see you screaming in pain because once that happens I can pull out the camera and take pictures and blackmail you with it later and this will get me all your lunch money because I'm only two bucks away from buying a brand new car' kind of way.
(Singing) "Why do we always have to get the hard jobs? They get to play in the glass today, as we have to sit and watch them be evil snobs." Roy and Pit screamed in sadness.
So Roy and Pit were forced to watch as Ness was brutally beaten with whips and chains as he rolled on the glass and Giga Bowser laughed while taking pictures. They cried as they realized that they were so misunderstood. They cried as they realized that Ness got all the attention and still complained anyway. Why did Ness have to be so evil? Roy fell over and died. It was dramatic.
"NOOOOOO!" Pit screamed as he looked up into the air.
Then the bell rang and everyone went home. As they left Master Hand called Ness to the office.
"What?" Ness asked.
(Singing) "I wish you'd stop being so selfish. Can't you see the pain you've caused others… umm… SHELLFISH! Dang I'm good" Master Hand said slapping Ness in his anger.
"WHAT DID I DO?" Ness screamed as Master Hand slapped him into a wall.
"Stop complaining, I'm tired" Master Hand said and fell asleep on the desk. The desk collapsed getting various shards and spiky objects stuck in Master Hand. He'd feel that in the morning.
So everyone left.
School was over.
You can stop reading now.
Or would you rather I kept going?
Because it would be kind of boring if there's no school and everyone's gone.
Some janitors walked through the halls and did whatever janitors do.
There were babies involved.
Death and stuff too…
So yeah…
Then it was night…
People were sleeping…
It's over…
Just… stop reading… I want to go to bed…
YAY!
Bye!
I don't care!
People hate me!
I love it!
I love me!
I love GAY RIGHTS!
Now I don't…
I dont hate gay people... just the ones that are open about it...
I don't hate Republicans… just Republicans that state why they're Republicans and actually think that means anything…
I don't hate Democrats… just Democrats that actually talk about why they disagree with Bush…
I don't hate Ralf Nader… just his name…
I don't hate Immigrants… just the ones that make it across…
I don't hate EMO… just the complaining ones…
I don't hate Marry Sues… just the over exaggerated ones…
I don't hate America… just the government and the people…
I don't hate School… just the parts that involve learning…
I don't hate computers… just the electronic parts…
I don't hate flams… just the mean ones…
I don't hate reviews… just the ones you send me… so don't… seriously… I want this chapter to have NO reviews… at ALL (seriously)