Disclaimer: I don't own Dynasty Warriors.
A/N: I wonder if this fic has already wasted everyone's time…? Yet people still reading it.
"Liu Bei, I never thought I'll see you here," Sun Shang Xiang said.
"You look glorious as always, Shang Xiang," Liu Bei said.
Gan Ning think clearly that they may or may have not loved each other seriously as are the other guys in the living room. Yue Ying and Diao Chan return with the tea ready and everyone have a tea party during the conversation about themselves.
"Zhou Tai, you are a pirate, yet you speak and fight like a samurai. Samurai are Japanese," Zhang He said.
"That's because the Japanese are originally Chinese speaking people…" Zhou Tai said.
"So are the Koreans," Zhao Yun added.
"I recall being half Persian, half Qiang, and half Chinese," Ma Chao lay against the wall with his arms crossed.
"Brother, Meng, Ren, De, and I have been discussing what could have happen differently in the assault on Jing," Guan Yu said.
Liu Bei turns to see Lu Xun a bit nervous of Liu Bei's presence, but Bei didn't care much anymore, his thoughts on Yi Ling had been subsided.
"Hmm, did you guys play the Koei rpg Sangokushi Koumeiden on gameboy advance? Preventing Guan Yu's demise is impossible, but Guan Xing and Suo kicked ass in that battle. A great team up," Guan Ping asked.
"I did, besides there's already the rom on my PC while all this games here we're playing are the ones talked about," Zhao Yun said.
"Tch, you have a lot of games!" Lu Bu amazed.
"He's such a hardcore nut," Ling Tong smirked.
"That's what I like about being a gamer. Hardcore, not casual," Lu Meng said.
"We are like hardcore generals ourselves," Pang De said.
"Dueling you had made me accept you as one of my rivals. There's still Ji Ling, that lazy bum Yan Liang, and the list of my rivals go on," Guan Yu said.
"I am suppose to be Guan Yu's greatest rival," Lu Meng said.
"That and Zhang Liao, that old dot…" Guan Yu soon gets interrupted.
"That old dot owns you, Yuncheng," Zhao Yun coughed.
"Huang Zhong is among one of the most honorable officers in my army," Liu Bei said.
"Brother are you not giving me enough credit for capturing Chang Sha?" Guan Yu glared.
"But, I forced Han Xuan to surrender. Didn't like the guy anyway," Wei Yan said.
"I wonder, is Guan Yu really arrogant as Chen Shou stated in his opinion on the five tiger generals in his SGZ bio?" Lu Xun asked.
"Kid, it's called attitude. Every tough man has to have an attitude if they want to prove themselves a powerhouse," Guan Yu said.
"Father taught me that," Guan Ping sighed while he is sitting next to Xing Cai who giggled.
Cao Cao put stars on his eyes admiring and idolizing Guan Yu like crazy still wanted him to stay on his side.
"Man, he really should have stayed alive and not get captured by us," Gan Ning scratched his head.
"I didn't even know you fools are invading us, since I'm good friends with Lu Su, now that is explained of my mistake of losing to Wu. By the way, Sun Ce, where is your brother?" Guan Yu asked.
"I don't know, Quan probably spending time with his ministers who I never met and counseling with Zhang Zhao. Seriously, do you guys think Sun Quan is better than me?" Sun Ce asked.
No one really wants to answer that anymore. Besides Sun Shang Xiang had enough about her brother Quan who had tricked her to returning to Wu.
"Lets change the subject. How about the personalities of the female characters, since Koei likes diversity, but in Ancient China women were horribly not taking seriously on governing affairs," Sun Shang Xiang said.
"I took you serious as a spy from Wu," Zhao Yun said.
"Oh god, not that incident between you and me on the way across the river. I'm sorry to bash you and calling you names. If I had listened to you then I wouldn't have fall from my brother's trap," Shang Xiang said.
"Is the bow princess really a tomboy?" Diao Chan asked.
"She only collect battle armory in her room and access her own female bodyguards under her orders," Zhao Yun said.
"So in other words, she's a normal woman, just not very tomboyish," Cao Cao assured.
"Oh, so now you're looking to getting your hands on my sis," Sun Ce rolleyed.
"Nah, I'll pass, still Da Qiao might have not really like you because of the surf dude accent," Cao Cao grinned.
"Argh! The surf dude accent, the idiot personality, blood thirst conqueror!" Sun Ce can't take it anymore.
"Um, I was the blood thirsted person historically," Gan Ning look at Ce pale.
" I know and you joined Liu Biao and Wu just to make up for all the terrorizing ways you've done to the people," Sun Ce said.
"Cousin, thought, I'm your best defender, Koei made me look small, but Capcom made me steady in 5'10 height with two weapons on Warriors of Fate and Destiny of an Emperor," Cao Ren sighed.
"I always see you height normally. No, you're not a midget. Blasted game companies getting the wrong ideas on my finest generals, at least, they got Cao Pi, Zhang Liao, and Xu Huang right," Cao Cao said.
"Xu Huang, speaking of him, did he accept our rematch from Han Shui river?" Zhao Yun asked.
"No word on that yet. Thought, I don't see why, you can beat just about everyone," Cao Cao replied.
"But, historians told that he isn't feared," Lu Bu said.
"I don't think historians even recorded much about generals, sure they talk about me, Liu Bei, and Zhuge Liang way too much. They talk about you as a laughing stock," Cao Cao said.
"Meh, I still beat you in some battles," Lu Bu waved his hand.
"It's…it's…Lu Bu! Yawn," Cao Ren teased.
"None of your generals are even in my caliber so shut up, midget," Lu Bu said.
"Hey, how about all of us vs you Lu Bu? I bet you couldn't beat more than 3 duelist," Gan Ning said.
"Fine, the result will still be the same," Lu Bu said.
"Is he really invincible?" Zhang He asked.
"No" They all said.
"The whole 'fear me' personality of Lu Bu got old, besides Diao Chan/ Lu Bu romance brings out the best in Feng Xian," Zhou Tai said.
"There was a blonde Lu Bu who had Russian accent in Destiny of an Emperor," Zhao Yun said.
"Aha! I didn't know Bu was Russian, he really don't even belong in China!" Cao Cao laughed.
"You talk too much, Mengde," Ma Chao scoffed.
"Shut up, loser," Cao Cao stare at his sworn enemy.
"As long as I keep chasing after you like the silly ego maniac you are, murder," Ma Chao mocked.
"And there will be justice! Justice, blah blah blah! Justice! That's more than enough you had in your vocabulary," Cao Cao said.
"What is justice?" Zhou Tai asked.
"Never stop fighting till the fight is done," Zhao Yun phrase the words of Elliot Ness, the man who brought down Al Capone.
"What?" Zhou Tai shocked.
"Properity…" Liu Bei said.
"And fairness…" Guan Yu ended.
"Shu guys whining about restoring the Han and the fair treatment of the Emperor Xian. Yi Ling, betraying to hack Guan Yu in the back and take the rest of Jing. You whiners must get over it. It's war, chaos, nothing is suppose to be fair in Ancient China and the novel stinks as it keeps portraying me like Magneto with a vengeance on human laws," Cao Cao groaned.
"I'm with you on that. Admit it, my lord deserves Jing," Zhou Tai said.
"For what?" All shu officers asked.
"Well, that haven't come clear yet," Zhou Tai shrugs.
"Actually, Quan wanted Jing because father loss it to Liu Biao. That's his ambition," Sun Ce said.
"But didn't you guys lose to Liu Biao before Jing was split into districts," Liu Bei coughed.
"So much battles had happened after I died and the Shanyue War," Sun Ce muttered.
"Most of the personalities of the Wu officers in Dynasty Warriors are like better than Shu, when historically it's the other way around," Zhao Yun said.
"I know, where's Zhang Liao when we need him?" Zhang He sighed.
"Or Yuan Shu, Bofu betrayed Yuan Shu even before Yuan Shu declares himself 'idiot' Emperor of Cheng," Cao Cao said.
"Yeah, I admit the price of conquering Jiang Dong is betraying Yuan Shu, but Yuan Shu never did much to help my father against Liu Biao. So I own him nothing but that imperial seal which still comes to hunt my father's legacy," Sun Ce said.
"Sun Jian? Was he really egar to restore the Han? Why did he found the Imperial Seal only to not give it to Yuan Shao?" Liu Bei asked.
"Big brother, don't even think about Yuan Shao claiming the imperial seal, that will never happen!" Zhao Yun shot back.
"I agree with him," Cao Cao smirked.
"Same here," Zhang He joined.
"Yuan Shao…sucks…" Wei Yan laughed.
"If only it was Yuan Shao getting his whole wits stabbed in pieces by the Ten Eunuchs with He Jin or how about both the Yuans and He Jin go away, seriously what's better than not bothering the Ten Ennuchs and making Dong Zhuo come in power? It's for the best for the Han," Cao Cao said.
Doorbell ring and Lu Bu answers it.
"Oh look, it's it's …Lu Bu!" Zhang Fei shows up. But Lu Bu shout the door close slammed.
"Who invited him here?" Lu Bu urged. Zhang Fei open the door himself and laugh so hard.
"Oh man, that is a classic! Did you see that brother?" Zhang Fei said.
"Zhang Fei, you don't have any personality problems and Xiahou Yuan I see is here with you along with Huang Zhong," Zhao Yun said.
"We went hunting. I outplayed Yuan once again," Huang Zhong smiled.
"Meh, isn't archery getting old for you old man?" Xiahou Yuan glared.
"It never gets old," Huang Zhong answered.
"What else is new?" Ling Tong thought.
"Wouldn't Huang Zhong be portrayed the Chinese Green Arrow?" Wei Yan grinned.
"Oh yeah!" They answered except Guan Yu.
"Oh brother, no wonder I suck at dealing with a fine archer like him," Guan Yu sighed.
"See, that's why he deserves to be one of the Five Tiger generals," Liu Bei said.
"Is it really true that Huang Zhong didn't do much?" Sun Shang Xiang asked.
"That's a theoretical question, since the Chinese folks praise him as inspired of most martial art old men," Ma Chao said.
"I'm supposedly older than I look in Dynasty Warriors," Lu Xun said.
"Yeah, it's just that you weren't known much till Kan Ze assigned you to become Supreme Commander for Sun Quan," Zhou Tai said.
"Lu Bu, how's it going my main man?" Zhang Fei now drunk.
"What do you think it's going? I have my most annoying rival next to me," Lu Bu said.
"Lu Bu, man, about stealing your provisions; I'm sorry I can't control myself. You still owe me 50 bouts," Zhang Fei said.
"Geez, you need to brush your teeth. It's stinks every time you get drunken," Lu Bu grumbled.
"Look, Lu Bu. We're evened, my own men betrayed and stabbed me. So we share the same fate. Come on, let's be friends?" Zhang Fei whimpered.
"…." Lu Bu submitted.
"Aw, the two of them look like best friends," Diao Chan teased.
"….yaoi…." Wei Yan groaned.
"I don't think it counts as Yaoi. Yide accepts Feng Xian as elder brother," Liu Bei said.
"Can't it wait, he still have to forgive everything he done to us while we're being nice to him. I'll take Zhang Liao as brother any day, keep Lu Bu to Zhang Fei…" Guan Yu protested.
"Zhang Fei isn't a drunken fool, but he did invent his famous wine," Zhao Yun smiled.
Soon, they heard shouting coming from the door. But, whom are the people shouting? One is a female and the other is a male.
"I'll answer it," Zhao Yun walks towards the door. There is also another group of people shouting.
"What's going on?" Zhao Yun asked. The four people stopped and look at the head of the house.
To be concluded…